Other Sports rugby XV
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@Wally said in Other Sports rugby XV:
A Theological XV:
Loose Head Prop: Tertullian. A formidable, hardnosed scrummager. Handy to keep both opposition and errant team mates inline. Gives no quarter, but inclined to give away the odd penalty.
Hooker: Martin Luther.A wide-ranging player who has redefined the way the game is played. Fearless in his opposition, he always quick to play “second referee” with an innovative line in both physical and verbal intimidation. Feared by his opposition yet admired for his skill. Great for leading scatological rugby songs at the after match.
Tight Head Prop: John Calvin. Unyielding, stern prop who seems destined to be the corner stone ofthe scrum for years to come. Plays an extremely ordered, disciplined game with a great knowledge of the laws of the game- and how they can be amended.
Lock: Augustine. After an early flirtation with league has become a tower of strength in this side. A visionary jumper, he works extremely hard in the tight. One of the largest players int he game, has also written a well-received autobiography. Versatile back-up kicker.
Lock: Thomas Aquinas. Leader of the forward pack, an excellent scrummager and surprisingly wide-ranging on defence. The player others tend to build their game around.
Open side Flanker: Nikolai Berdyaev. Little known but highly impressive Russian flanker. Can be counted on to cover a lot of ground with an instinctive nose for where the ball is going. Often fringes on the verge of being offside, but a good on-the ground scrambler and surprisingly elusive runner.
Blind side flanker: Reinhold Neibhur. Stern and unyeilding tackler but very ethical player noted for dislike of dirty play. Works well with Barth. Quick to shut down opposition forays down his flank. (Younger brother an up and coming player of potential).
No.8: Karl Barth. A Player with an encyclopaedic knowledge of the game who epitomises how defence can be a form of offence. Immensely strong and mor nimble than appears, is known for his disdain for other codes. Incessant tackler.
Halfback: Gustavo Gutierrez. This Peruvian player has benefited from several seasons spent in Europe. Nimble assessor of own team and opposition weaknesses, if occasionally inclined to run too far without support. Huge hands mean a great pass.
First Five Eight: St Paul. Visionary player, great organiser of the backline with an unerring boot off either foot. The pivot of the team, if occasionally inclined to cockiness. Quick to correct the mistakes of opposition teams. Has many imitators.
Second Five Eight: Emil Brunner A solid, orthodox player who works well in tandem with Paul. Perhaps doesn’t play his natural game often enough, but extremely dependable. Very good at cutting back to the forward pack to set up second phase ball. Same club team as Barth but recent rift has possibility of disrupting team cohesion.
Centre: Rudolf Bultmann. Has the merits of all good centres in that he provides overlaps and opportunities for the more elusive wings to run off. Extremely good ability to disassemble opposition game plans and very good at straightening up play.
Left winger: Friedrich Schliermacher. Has stuck with the game despite early opposition. Able to weave a veil around his opposite number. A very instinctive player who often appears to teeter on the edge of self-destruction. Works very well with Bultmann.
Rightwing: Teilhard de Chardin. A fast running wing who was out of the selectors favour for some time but is now acknowledged as having a lot to contribute.
Fullback: Jesus. Enough said.I’m far too thick to even google why this is funny
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@Bovidae said in Other Sports rugby XV:
@ACT-Crusader The token white guy at halfback.
Like the token Maori...
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I would have picked Paul Tillich as Openside as a modernist he would keep up to date with all the rule changes. His idea of God above God was clearly a prediction of McCaw.
William of Ockham (with his razor) is a nasty brute of a hooker but can switch to prop if neeeded.
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Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons
Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball. -
@sparky said in Other Sports rugby XV:
Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons
Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball.I'm quite triggered a legend like Han is being compared to a dickwad like BOD.
Han never whinged about nearly dying.
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@MN5 said in Other Sports rugby XV:
@sparky said in Other Sports rugby XV:
Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons
Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball.I'm quite triggered a legend like Han is being compared to a dickwad like BOD.
Han never whinged about nearly dying.
I'm more triggered by Po Dameron being there. Centre has to be smart and focused. Po is an idiot. He'd take the wrong man every single time.
Wedge should be there. Dooku also at lock. Mace isn't tall enough.
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Palpatine should be at openside because when he puts the cloak on he becomes a greater more dangerous player.
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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Other Sports rugby XV:
@MN5 said in Other Sports rugby XV:
@sparky said in Other Sports rugby XV:
Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons
Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball.I'm quite triggered a legend like Han is being compared to a dickwad like BOD.
Han never whinged about nearly dying.
I'm more triggered by Po Dameron being there. Centre has to be smart and focused. Po is an idiot. He'd take the wrong man every single time.
Wedge should be there. Dooku also at lock. Mace isn't tall enough.
I’d imagine General Grievous would be hard to stop off the back of the scrum.
Your points about Poe are spot on.
I also have grave concerns about Jabba. His scrummaging would be monstrous but his mobility and skills would be non existent.
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@MN5 said in Other Sports rugby XV:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Other Sports rugby XV:
@MN5 said in Other Sports rugby XV:
@sparky said in Other Sports rugby XV:
Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons
Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball.I'm quite triggered a legend like Han is being compared to a dickwad like BOD.
Han never whinged about nearly dying.
I'm more triggered by Po Dameron being there. Centre has to be smart and focused. Po is an idiot. He'd take the wrong man every single time.
Wedge should be there. Dooku also at lock. Mace isn't tall enough.
I’d imagine General Grievous would be hard to stop off the back of the scrum.
Your points about Poe are spot on.
I also have grave concerns about Jabba. His scrummaging would be monstrous but his mobility and skills would be non existent.
Yep. Zero mobility and would be a passenger most of the game. He's a shit character but that Dex (guy who owned the diner) would be a great prop. No problems slipping the bind and a massive bastard.
Grevious would be a beast although that horrible cough makes me wonder about his stamina. Would he need to be recharged at halftime?
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Golfers XV
1 Ian Woosman
Stout but solid.2 John Daly
Stout, some accusations of dirty play, frequently seen in the club bar after games3 Craig Stadler
The Walrus4 Phil Blackmar
Tall American.5 Robert Karlson
Tall Swede.6 Dustin Johnson
Parties hard.7 Tiger Woods
Parties hard too.8 Greg Norman
Great White Shark. Can drop the ball under pressure9 Rory Mcilroy
Short, but busy Ulsterman. Shades of Peter Stringer. Aim can be wayward.10 Ryan Fox
He must have acquired some of his Dad's First-Five genes11 Phil Mickelson
Great lefty. Lots of titles.12 Seve Ballesteros
A visionary, full of flair, great partnership with Olazabal.13 Jose Maria Olazabal
Has a great partnership with Ballesteros that has been compared to Ma'a Nonu and Conrad Smith.14 Jack Nicklaus
The golden bear. Great rightie. Loads and loads of titles.15 Tom Watson
Mr reliable. Great technique. Shades of Ben Smith. Superb at (kicking) duels in the sun. -
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Becker - need a bit of bulk up front
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Agassi - low centre of gravity
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Borg - both him and a young Agassi going around in the front row with their long hair would be cool
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Isner - this is a massive locking combo
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Karlovic
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Connors - need a bit of edge at 6
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Hewitt - one of the great pests
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Ivanisevic - some height for the lineout and big run off the set piece
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McEnroe - always talking
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Sampras - safe pair of hands
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Chang - quickness
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Roddick - all our attack on first phase
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Federer - defending or attack he has all bases covered
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Rafa - more speed
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Djokovic - no one is better on the last line
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Ilie Nastase (known as Nasty) would be perfect at Hooker.
Agassi, certainly during his mullet toupee/ image is everything phase, would surely be a back.
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Rock and Pop XV
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Elvis Presley
Big man. -
Keith Moon
Wild man of the Front Row. -
Meatloaf
Big man, he would do anything for the team but he won't do that. -
Mick Fleetwood
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Ed O'Brien (Radiohead)
Tall men -
Noel Gallagher
Likes a fight now and then. Borrowed a lot of moves from the team Midfield combination -
Liam Gallagher
Likes a fight now and then too. Including with his brother on the other flank. -
Sting
Very competitive. He can't stand losing. -
Prince
Little man. Dresses in purple. -
Freddie Mercury
Charismatic leader. Don't stop him now. He wants to break free. His team will rock the opposition and become champions of the world. -
Elton John
Rocket Man on the wing. -
Paul McCartney
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John Lennon
Legendary combination -
Michael Jackson
Speed Demon
15 Perry Como
Can catch a fallin star. -
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Football XV
1 Paul Gascoigne - 40,000+ fans singing "Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? You fat b##tard, you fat b##tard, you ate all the pies." Had a best mate known as Five Bellies. Some great footwork though.
2 Wayne Rooney - Educated in the dark arts by a 55 year old Hooker known as Auld Slapper. Angry man with the looks of Anton Oliver, but without the big words.
3 Benni McCarthy - The South African was dropped from West Ham for being out of shape. He complained in the media that West Ham CEO, Karen Brady, was "the Devil with tits." She replied "at least I'm supposed to have tits".
4 Peter Crouch -Very tall man.
5 Jan Kohler -Another tall man.
6 Patrick Vieira - Shades of Thierry Dussitor. Hard man great footwork. Very big engine.
7 Andoni Goikoetxeal - The Butcher of Bilbao. Filthy git. Bound to be a natural at Openside.
8 Eric Cantona - Like many Number 8s, he enjoys fighting.
9 Diego Maradona -Little man with dazzling footwork, passing and finishing. Now looks like a Prop.
10 Lionel Messi -Wonderful playmaker.
11 Ferenc Pukacs - Left-footed. Great scoring record.
12 Ruud Gullit - Brilliant at finding a gap. Great partnership with Van Basten.
13 Marco Van Basten - Ghosts through defences like Jerry Guscott or Conrad Smith. Great finisher.
14 Christian Ronaldo -Dazzling right foot, quick, strong scoring record.
15 Franz Beckenbauer - Amazing sweeper.