Dad advice sharing thread.
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@nta said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
Yesterday we woke to the revelation that Miss TA has reached a particularly uncomfortable milestone in her young life. She's not even 11 until October and now this shit happens.
Still, justifies my position on NOT taking either of the womenfolk snow camping Friday week.
Good call , the scent of blood attracts alpine drop bears. Damn near impossible to see with their winter coats too.
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@nta said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
@jegga yeah exactly.
Can't tell me that - when they start bitching at 15C for me to put the heater on - they're going to have any fun at -6C!
I hate to be the one to break it to you but sometimes the point isn't in fact for them to have fun but instead to ensure you don't.
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Ok. This now becomes the Dad skiting thread.
Ms. Boo Jr is into her Netball Grand Final on Saturday.
Actually coincides with her 15th birthday:The 1st of Spring!
It's kinda of small town (just 4 teams in the div) and political (long story) but a great bunch of girls.
They really deserve a win.
And I'm the best team manager ever: I do the funniest team emails ...
Nervous as a kitten.
And so is Brooke
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So Ms Boo Jr achieves desired result yesterday.
34-21.
Not her best game personally, looked to be struggling with fitness despite my continued nagging to get out and train. Needs to be really fit to be effective (got her parent's body type, pretty good when fit but loses it real quick).
Anyway she got the 2nd half. Coach involved her in half time team talk - likes her maturity apparently.
Very pleased for her as she lost a GF a couple of years ago which was hard. Quite brutal the finals system for the young kids. But good for them to learn how to treat the two imposters just the same (to mangle Kipling).
Bloody warm yesterday. Apparently only 23 but felt much warmer, especially in the direct sunlight (one of the girls got sunstroke and had a sick about half an hour after the game).
Anyway was one of her better birthday presents.
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I'm with McCormick on this one. Schools in NZ are utterly useless at dealing with bullies, there's countless horror stories out there.
My experience to date - my boy is 5 so first year at school, and was picked on by a couple of older kids that chased him around the playground and then held him and wouldn't let him go. My boy then told them to fuck off (as he should), and the older kids went and told the teacher that he'd swore.
We get to school to pick him up and get a big lecture from the teacher around the use of bad words in the playground. Not until we asked him what happened (surely the teacher should have done this!) did we find out the actual story, and that he's been scared of these kids for a while.
Reported this to the school and their whole attitude was to sweep it under the carpet. Kept saying that the kids at his school are all "great" and wouldn't give us any clear idea on what they'd actually done to ensure the older kids were disciplined. And then in the end decided it wasn't bullying after all despite it fitting the textbook definition.
They were frustrating as fuck to deal with. As it stands we know my boy was disciplined for his correct use of the term "fuck off", no idea if the older boys were disciplined, and it took about a month or so for my boy to actually want to/enjoy going to school again.
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@no-quarter said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
Schools don’t seem to interested in tackling bullying. My son was choked until he was unconscious by a little sociopath and his punishment was to spend his lunch hours for a week doing a report about the possible effects of what he did. He also wrote me a grovelling apology full of spelling mistakes, his father had to leave the Uk after his own criminal behaviour bought his rugby career to an end and is quite wealthy so it’s not like the kid was a feral . If anyone wants the dads name feel free to pm me .
Anyway I told my son to pass on a message to the little shit next time they talked which he did verbatim .
“ is your dad still angry at me?”
“ yep and he says if you ever touch me again he’s going to make me a necklace out of your teeth”.Mrs was pissed at me but the problem was solved .
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@no-quarter yep I think schools are struggling to be able to deal with some kids suitably, so where possible, try to ignore it.
A boy that bullied TR Jnr last year, eventually got kicked from his school, then started High School this year, and we dont know exactly why, but he left that high school after 6 weeks (unsure if he was kicked, as a rumour we hear is he was being bullied himself...so chances are, he picked on the wrong kid)
The High School TR Jnr is off to next year is being very proactive with bullying (seen some of the initiatives) so am pleased he chose that school.
I thnk there probably isnt any more bullying than in the past, it is people are more aware and teachers and schools havent got the right tools to deal with it.
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@no-quarter said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
I'm with McCormick on this one. Schools in NZ are utterly useless at dealing with bullies, there's countless horror stories out there.
My experience to date - my boy is 5 so first year at school, and was picked on by a couple of older kids that chased him around the playground and then held him and wouldn't let him go. My boy then told them to fuck off (as he should), and the older kids went and told the teacher that he'd swore.
We get to school to pick him up and get a big lecture from the teacher around the use of bad words in the playground. Not until we asked him what happened (surely the teacher should have done this!) did we find out the actual story, and that he's been scared of these kids for a while.
Reported this to the school and their whole attitude was to sweep it under the carpet. Kept saying that the kids at his school are all "great" and wouldn't give us any clear idea on what they'd actually done to ensure the older kids were disciplined. And then in the end decided it wasn't bullying after all despite it fitting the textbook definition.
They were frustrating as fuck to deal with. As it stands we know my boy was disciplined for his correct use of the term "fuck off", no idea if the older boys were disciplined, and it took about a month or so for my boy to actually want to/enjoy going to school again.
That's fucked up. The worst thing about it is the bullies themselves blubbering to the teachers when their victims fight back. My son was getting teased by some piece of shit of a kid and his little posse. He tried to walk away and told him multiple times to stop or he would wack him. Gave him one last warning then clobbered him. This little turd then went crying to the office. Result. My child gets a 3 day suspension, the little shit who instigated it and upset the "safe space" that is so important to the school got a detention (not that the school would tell me that, for whatever reason they can't tell you what punishment the other child received). I was very reasonable until I realised the school weren't going to budge an inch and just wanted the whole thing to go away. I let fly and have involved my local member and the Education Minister. Probably won't do shit but will hopefully create headaches for the cnut of a principal and his equally repulsive vp.
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@rancid-schnitzel my son told me he will get in tourble if he retaliates...I told him I had his back if that was the case, if another kid hit him, he was allowed to defend himself!
One of the boys that bullied TR Jnr, had to sit on the deck in fornt of the Staff room for 2 weeks at lunch and breaks.
Schools seem very reluctant to suspend the kids unless in extreme situations...one of these boys attacked my son, if outside school, GBH, fortunately he was a pussy with it and none of his knees or kicks to my son on the ground did any damage.
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
@no-quarter said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
I'm with McCormick on this one. Schools in NZ are utterly useless at dealing with bullies, there's countless horror stories out there.
My experience to date - my boy is 5 so first year at school, and was picked on by a couple of older kids that chased him around the playground and then held him and wouldn't let him go. My boy then told them to fuck off (as he should), and the older kids went and told the teacher that he'd swore.
We get to school to pick him up and get a big lecture from the teacher around the use of bad words in the playground. Not until we asked him what happened (surely the teacher should have done this!) did we find out the actual story, and that he's been scared of these kids for a while.
Reported this to the school and their whole attitude was to sweep it under the carpet. Kept saying that the kids at his school are all "great" and wouldn't give us any clear idea on what they'd actually done to ensure the older kids were disciplined. And then in the end decided it wasn't bullying after all despite it fitting the textbook definition.
They were frustrating as fuck to deal with. As it stands we know my boy was disciplined for his correct use of the term "fuck off", no idea if the older boys were disciplined, and it took about a month or so for my boy to actually want to/enjoy going to school again.
That's fucked up. The worst thing about it is the bullies themselves blubbering to the teachers when their victims fight back. My son was getting teased by some piece of shit of a kid and his little posse. He tried to walk away and told him multiple times to stop or he would wack him. Gave him one last warning then clobbered him. This little turd then went crying to the office. Result. My child gets a 3 day suspension, the little shit who instigated it and upset the "safe space" that is so important to the school got a detention (not that the school would tell me that, for whatever reason they can't tell you what punishment the other child received). I was very reasonable until I realised the school weren't going to budge an inch and just wanted the whole thing to go away. I let fly and have involved my local member and the Education Minister. Probably won't do shit but will hopefully create headaches for the cnut of a principal and his equally repulsive vp.
The most frustrating part is the total lack of transparency around what they have done to actually address the situation. The VP we talked to stated "the older boys have been dealt with in strict adherence with our policies on bullying", but then when we referred her to the policy on the website she didn't seem to know what they were, and then said "oh the website is wrong we need to update that".
This whole thing coincided with an anti-bullying week the school had, where they wank on about having a zero tolerance for bullying. But then when an incident occurs they do everything they can to sweep it under the carpet. I wonder if they worry about the schools reputation? Or if their hands are just tied by government regulations on what they can actually do?
I've obviously tried to do my part as a parent, and ensure the boy knows not to to take any of this crap to heart etc, that it's the bullies that have the problem not him. We've left it where it is, but if we have another issue then we won't hesitate to escalate it as you have. Overall we've been left with 0 confidence in the schools ability to handle bullying.
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@taniwharugby said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
@no-quarter yep I think schools are struggling to be able to deal with some kids suitably, so where possible, try to ignore it.
A boy that bullied TR Jnr last year, eventually got kicked from his school, then started High School this year, and we dont know exactly why, but he left that high school after 6 weeks (unsure if he was kicked, as a rumour we hear is he was being bullied himself...so chances are, he picked on the wrong kid)
The High School TR Jnr is off to next year is being very proactive with bullying (seen some of the initiatives) so am pleased he chose that school.
I thnk there probably isnt any more bullying than in the past, it is people are more aware and teachers and schools havent got the right tools to deal with it.
The kid you describe sounds like a real piece of work, and I do have some sympathy for schools dealing with kids with serious mental health issues. But for the most part I feel like the school should put way more heat on the bullies and their parents to correct that behavior before they get older.
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@no-quarter I went to school with this kids mum, and she was normal and her brother is a cop here too.
Yeah schools hands are pretty much tied, which is why I think some simply dont know how to deal with kids, given some would be stoked to be suspended, so is hardly a punishment.
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@rancid-schnitzel the little shit that choked my kid busted out the tears too . I wanted him dropped from rugby but his father coaches and sponsors the first 15 and said since it didn’t happen on the rugby field it shouldn’t affect his rugby.
I was keen to take it further, a mate of mine suggested going to the papers as the kids dads former team was touring at the time and his kids behaviour coupled with his dads history would have made for some nice click bait but my son wanted to put it behind him.
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@no-quarter said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
@no-quarter said in Dad advice sharing thread.:
I'm with McCormick on this one. Schools in NZ are utterly useless at dealing with bullies, there's countless horror stories out there.
My experience to date - my boy is 5 so first year at school, and was picked on by a couple of older kids that chased him around the playground and then held him and wouldn't let him go. My boy then told them to fuck off (as he should), and the older kids went and told the teacher that he'd swore.
We get to school to pick him up and get a big lecture from the teacher around the use of bad words in the playground. Not until we asked him what happened (surely the teacher should have done this!) did we find out the actual story, and that he's been scared of these kids for a while.
Reported this to the school and their whole attitude was to sweep it under the carpet. Kept saying that the kids at his school are all "great" and wouldn't give us any clear idea on what they'd actually done to ensure the older kids were disciplined. And then in the end decided it wasn't bullying after all despite it fitting the textbook definition.
They were frustrating as fuck to deal with. As it stands we know my boy was disciplined for his correct use of the term "fuck off", no idea if the older boys were disciplined, and it took about a month or so for my boy to actually want to/enjoy going to school again.
That's fucked up. The worst thing about it is the bullies themselves blubbering to the teachers when their victims fight back. My son was getting teased by some piece of shit of a kid and his little posse. He tried to walk away and told him multiple times to stop or he would wack him. Gave him one last warning then clobbered him. This little turd then went crying to the office. Result. My child gets a 3 day suspension, the little shit who instigated it and upset the "safe space" that is so important to the school got a detention (not that the school would tell me that, for whatever reason they can't tell you what punishment the other child received). I was very reasonable until I realised the school weren't going to budge an inch and just wanted the whole thing to go away. I let fly and have involved my local member and the Education Minister. Probably won't do shit but will hopefully create headaches for the cnut of a principal and his equally repulsive vp.
The most frustrating part is the total lack of transparency around what they have done to actually address the situation. The VP we talked to stated "the older boys have been dealt with in strict adherence with our policies on bullying", but then when we referred her to the policy on the website she didn't seem to know what they were, and then said "oh the website is wrong we need to update that".
This whole thing coincided with an anti-bullying week the school had, where they wank on about having a zero tolerance for bullying. But then when an incident occurs they do everything they can to sweep it under the carpet. I wonder if they worry about the schools reputation? Or if their hands are just tied by government regulations on what they can actually do?
I've obviously tried to do my part as a parent, and ensure the boy knows not to to take any of this crap to heart etc, that it's the bullies that have the problem not him. We've left it where it is, but if we have another issue then we won't hesitate to escalate it as you have. Overall we've been left with 0 confidence in the schools ability to handle bullying.
I got the same policy bullshit. Apparently I was supposed to be happy that it was only 3 days and that this "policy" was set in stone. Found their rules and guidelines and showed them that it was bullshit. Then the full retard bureaucrat comes out and they just deflect. I guess they expect that most parents will just give up (which I suspect they do, sometimes these fights are just not worth it).
The thing is that if my son had been involved in anything resembling bullying I would personally ring the school and ask them to punish him. Yet the perverse logic is that those who fight back against the bullies get punished worse than those who actually create the toxic environment to begin with.
I'm now waiting for a callback from the vc about another incident. A girl was teasing my son and calling him, among other things, a manwhore (he is a bit but that's hardly the point). He ignored her until it got too much and told her to "fuck off bitch". She then started teasing him about his mum being dead. She was laughing as she said it. Obviously that was massively upsetting to him. If it was a boy he would have beat the shit out of him and I'll bet they still would have suspended him. He told a teacher who talked to the girl. I obviously contacted the school. The report back was that she had been talked to and was receiving an "appropriate" punishment. But son comes home and tells me he was grilled by vc about what he said and that she tried to draw some kind of equivalency between that and what the girl said to him. That was Friday. I'm now waiting for vc to tell her what I think about that. Why tf would you do that to a kid who lost his mum less than a year ago and was clearly shattered by what was said? Just why?