Where are they now? (Past Ferners)



  • We had some absolute class posters form the NH.
    I rememeber meeitng Gailimh, Irish Richard , and PDP in a Irish bar in Dublin on the eve of the AB's playing a grand slam game in 2005, it is my Wifes 30th and we had a roaring night... my wife quickly got over the fact her long awaited 30th birthday evening in Dublin was crashed by a bunch of Irishman and a Frenchman that I had met online and had never seen before....
    At about 11pm we got news that there had been a fire at Landsdown road and that one stand would be unavailable and tickets refunded. It was the stand the wife and I were going to. Gutted, as we were going to all 4 grand slam games, and would have been one short.
    PdP stepped up and gave us one of his tickets, and I think Gailimh gave us another. Refused money, just took a guiness each.. actually I think Pdp took a whiskey..
    Next afternoon we were on the terraces amongst a sea of Irish fans... BEST MATCH EVER.

    Thanks TSF.



  • @Baron-Silas-Greenback said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    We had some absolute class posters form the NH.
    I rememeber meeitng Gailimh, Irish Richard , and PDP in a Irish bar in Dublin on the eve of the AB's playing a grand slam game in 2005, it is my Wifes 30th and we had a roaring night... my wife quickly got over the fact her long awaited 30th birthday evening in Dublin was crashed by a bunch of Irishman and a Frenchman that I had met online and had never seen before....
    At about 11pm we got news that there had been a fire at Landsdown road and that one stand would be unavailable and tickets refunded. It was the stand the wife and I were going to. Gutted, as we were going to all 4 grand slam games, and would have been one short.
    PdP stepped up and gave us one of his tickets, and I think Gailimh gave us another. Refused money, just took a guiness each.. actually I think Pdp took a whiskey..
    Next afternoon we were on the terraces amongst a sea of Irish fans... BEST MATCH EVER.

    Thanks TSF.

    that's awesome

    I miss those overseas guys. They added balance to the force.

    It's like some people went out and got themselves real, fulfilling lives. Over achievers.



  • Mr Mike had a skill that would make the written word as funny, if not more than the spoken word.
    Clever bugger



  • @Crucial said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @NTA does MvJ still play game wrecker in Sydney? Thought you might stumble across him in grade

    Yep tho he was getting disillusioned with rugby reffing much the same as anyone. He was doing Premier Colts or the odd lower grade in Premier but one day got shipped out to Earlwood for our Subbies Division 4 First Grade fixture.

    I have a note to catch up with him for a drink.



  • @jegga said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    How many of these peoples skin is @snowy wearing ?

    Council workers have very thick skin (they have to) so make an excellent coat. The whole lotion thing is bollocks, ruins the waterproofing..



  • @Siam said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Mr Mike had a skill that would make the written word as funny, if not more than the spoken word.
    Clever bugger

    It’s ok we have @mariner4life now, oh...



  • @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Phooey was superb entertainment

    He was actually quite a good bloke and nowhere near as contrary in person.

    @jegga Also made a really practical hat.



  • @Virgil luckily smut, a veneer of wit (😘), and dildo/hooker stories will get you far on the fern!! Oh, and telling @mn5 to fark from time to time.

    Hmm if @mariner4life looked even vaguely like Chris Gayle I reckon they def would 😂



  • @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Siam said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Mr Mike had a skill that would make the written word as funny, if not more than the spoken word.
    Clever bugger

    It’s ok we have @mariner4life now, oh...

    alt text



  • @mariner4life said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Siam said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Mr Mike had a skill that would make the written word as funny, if not more than the spoken word.
    Clever bugger

    It’s ok we have @mariner4life now, oh...

    alt text

    Duuude.. and on Valentine’s Day of all days



  • @Virgil promises, promises aye!!



  • @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @mariner4life said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Siam said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Mr Mike had a skill that would make the written word as funny, if not more than the spoken word.
    Clever bugger

    It’s ok we have @mariner4life now, oh...

    alt text

    Duuude.. and on Valentine’s Day of all days

    if i tell your wife about your avatar that's all you'll be doing



  • Has Barnya had a mention yet? He was always good for a drunken rant.



  • @Paekakboyz said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Virgil luckily smut, a veneer of wit (😘), and dildo/hooker stories will get you far on the fern!! Oh, and telling @mn5 to fark from time to time.

    Hmm if @mariner4life looked even vaguely like Chris Gayle I reckon they def would 😂

    He wouldn't do that in real life


  • Banned

    Where did Bart go? He was pretty much the life of the party (and certainly the fitness thread) then vanished like Kaiser Sosei. Amazing how some guys who pretty much lived here just suddenly stopped.

    Anybody mention @Gorgeous-Grogan, i.e. the guy who wrote the best post in the history of the Fern after the 2011 RWC?

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    No tears for Mogwai/Gollum. That guy was a cancer.



  • @Rancid-Schnitzel I think bart is a painter now, and yeah he's def missed.



  • @Siam said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Mr Mike had a skill that would make the written word as funny, if not more than the spoken word.
    Clever bugger

    He's still a semi-regular on Planet Rugby.



  • @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Where did Bart go? He was pretty much the life of the party (and certainly the fitness thread) then vanished like Kaiser Sosei. Amazing how some guys who pretty much lived here just suddenly stopped.

    Anybody mention @Gorgeous-Grogan, i.e. the guy who wrote the best post in the history of the Fern after the 2011 RWC?

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    No tears for Mogwai/Gollum. That guy was a cancer.

    @Red-Bull was definitely a good cnut, even for someone from strayia.

    Not sure if anyone had brought up @Lee-Grant he was very insightful



  • @Smudge good that he's still kicking, but he's dead to me on another forum😉😂

    Besides he came from Marlborough, so as a former nelsonian I'm destined to despise him.

    Funny bugger though



  • @Catogrande said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Kirwan arbitrarily changed his avatar to a picture of a tin of spam.

    Back when Kirwan was cool.


  • Banned

    @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Where did Bart go? He was pretty much the life of the party (and certainly the fitness thread) then vanished like Kaiser Sosei. Amazing how some guys who pretty much lived here just suddenly stopped.

    Anybody mention @Gorgeous-Grogan, i.e. the guy who wrote the best post in the history of the Fern after the 2011 RWC?

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    No tears for Mogwai/Gollum. That guy was a cancer.

    @Red-Bull was definitely a good cnut, even for someone from strayia.

    Not sure if anyone had brought up @Lee-Grant he was very insightful

    But I digress....

    Unfair to link, them but remember Neuter? I thought he was a troll, but then read his stuff on GandG and realised he genuinely believed the bullshit he wrote.



  • @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Where did Bart go? He was pretty much the life of the party (and certainly the fitness thread) then vanished like Kaiser Sosei. Amazing how some guys who pretty much lived here just suddenly stopped.

    Anybody mention @Gorgeous-Grogan, i.e. the guy who wrote the best post in the history of the Fern after the 2011 RWC?

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    No tears for Mogwai/Gollum. That guy was a cancer.

    @Red-Bull was definitely a good cnut, even for someone from strayia.

    Not sure if anyone had brought up @Lee-Grant he was very insightful

    But I digress....

    Unfair to link, them but remember Neuter? I thought he was a troll, but then read his stuff on GandG and realised he genuinely believed the bullshit he wrote.

    was he the guy who picked the Waratahs to win? Every. Single. Year. right up until the year they actually did?



  • @mariner4life said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Where did Bart go? He was pretty much the life of the party (and certainly the fitness thread) then vanished like Kaiser Sosei. Amazing how some guys who pretty much lived here just suddenly stopped.

    Anybody mention @Gorgeous-Grogan, i.e. the guy who wrote the best post in the history of the Fern after the 2011 RWC?

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    No tears for Mogwai/Gollum. That guy was a cancer.

    @Red-Bull was definitely a good cnut, even for someone from strayia.

    Not sure if anyone had brought up @Lee-Grant he was very insightful

    But I digress....

    Unfair to link, them but remember Neuter? I thought he was a troll, but then read his stuff on GandG and realised he genuinely believed the bullshit he wrote.

    was he the guy who picked the Waratahs to win? Every. Single. Year. right up until the year they actually did?

    Yep, tragic case of cognitive dissonance . He was banned the year they actually won.



  • @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    Yeah well, there's a reason why there are less foreigners on here these days.


  • Banned

    @mariner4life said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Virgil said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Where did Bart go? He was pretty much the life of the party (and certainly the fitness thread) then vanished like Kaiser Sosei. Amazing how some guys who pretty much lived here just suddenly stopped.

    Anybody mention @Gorgeous-Grogan, i.e. the guy who wrote the best post in the history of the Fern after the 2011 RWC?

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    No tears for Mogwai/Gollum. That guy was a cancer.

    @Red-Bull was definitely a good cnut, even for someone from strayia.

    Not sure if anyone had brought up @Lee-Grant he was very insightful

    But I digress....

    Unfair to link, them but remember Neuter? I thought he was a troll, but then read his stuff on GandG and realised he genuinely believed the bullshit he wrote.

    was he the guy who picked the Waratahs to win? Every. Single. Year. right up until the year they actually did?

    That would be him. Bart was a pretty chilled character, but I recall him losing his shit over Neuter once.


  • Banned

    @NTA said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Going back in a time machine but an Aus dude who was always great value was @Red-Bull. Much more level headed and sensible than that utter cnut @NTA.

    Yeah well, there's a reason why there are less foreigners on here these days.

    You scared them all off?



  • Anyone remember when Shayne Philpott turned up ?



  • @MN5 said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Anyone remember when Shayne Philpott turned up ?

    Yeah , I can understand him being fucked off about the shit people said about him . By his own admission he was never a great ab but he never had a Ben Blair like meltdown that cost the abs a game or anything.


  • Banned

    @MN5 said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Anyone remember when Shayne Philpott turned up ?

    Is that archived anywhere? Would be great to see it.



  • I actually miss Gollum. Poor bugger, I went from backing him on things 'Trump' to changing sides. The after election break from the fern was kinda funny.



  • Trump killed gollum.



  • @Rancid-Schnitzel said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    @MN5 said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Anyone remember when Shayne Philpott turned up ?

    Is that archived anywhere? Would be great to see it.

    I tried searching but couldn’t find them



  • @Frank said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Trump killed gollum.

    Gollum called you and other posters Nazis when I asked him to elaborate he got banned.
    I felt the same amount of emotion when it happened as I did when maccas took my 10th favourite burger off the menu



  • Says a bit about me .... not much good... that seeing Gollum just be proven 100% wrong about the16 election was a top TSF moment for me. His tailspin afterwards was incredible.



  • Found it
    A day in the life of Phooey29 May, 2003 JP & DonSteppaAll times set on Hong Kong Phooey time, 4 hours behind NZ.
    3:24am: Woke up from a horrible dream that my eye-patch had shifted from my left eye to the right. All I could see were images of Jerry Collins. Rolled over and counted sheep to get me back to sleep.
    7am: Alarm went off. Love waking up to the sound of the Crusaders theme music and this morning was no exception.
    7:01am: Turned off the theme music and got out of bed. Put on my “Todd Blackadder Fluffy Bunny Slippers. Paused momentarily to check that my life-sized cardboard cutouts of Todd Blackadder and Rueben Thorne didnt have any dust on them lest it detract from their wondrous magnificence and impression of awe that they give from the foot of my bed.
    7:04am: Amble to computer and check the Silverfern website. Full of posts from obnoxious BoP Mafia. Barely concealed my contempt for their incessant ramblings by not lowering myself to respond to them.
    7:06am: This is the height of insolence. JP has spelt Scott Robertsons name incorrectly. Youd expect better seeing Robertson is originally from his feeder union BoP after all. Gave up on SF for now in disgust, but not before resolving to spite him later on.
    7:07am: Grabbed a bowl of cereal. Still havent heard back from South China Milk Co-op regarding their disgusting use of blue as the colour for their standard milk bottle tops. The red vivid will have to do for now.
    7:08am: Set down in front of TV and put on my video of the last 10 mins of the 1998 Super 12 final. Its nearly worn out so resolved to re-order a backup as I only have two backups left.
    7:17am: Laughed heartily once more at Tonu'u as James Kerr scores the winning try.
    7:25am: Got ready for work, carefully observed if my mutton chops were reaching the same lengths as Andrew Merthans, made mental note to collect some more ginger dye from pharmacist.
    7:35am: Left for work, scheming ways to make my props lift me higher at training tonight and wondering if they watched the 4 hour video I gave to them of Highlights of Crusaders Scrums 1996 – 2002.
    8:23am: Arrived at work to an e-mail from Gary abusing me about the Super 12 final loss to the Blues. Resolved to get coffee. Extra-strong.
    8:28am: Leaving our pleasantly decorated tea-room. Relieved that the Chinese use a lot of red as a lucky colour so I dont have to condemn them as sporting heathens.
    8:30am: Set myself down for another hard day at work.
    8:35am: Start browsing the Silverfern, JP clearly is an imbecile, not only did he spell Robertsons name wrong but has misquoted his height by an entire centimetre!! Clearly such slander shall not go unpunished!!
    9:30am: Still fuming about Scott Robertsons height being misquoted. Have to take out frustrations on the new Jerry Collins dartboard I recently purchased.
    10:30am: Depression has now set in, can't believe that the Crusaders have only come second in the super 12. SF filled with incancessant Aucklanders braying about their toffee-boy pin-up raging poof. Ya-boo what a bunch of soft-cocks those bloody Blues are and now only 11 Cantabs in the All Blacks. Switch eye-patch over with black-side showing, this is clearly a time of mourning for NZ rugby.
    10:45am: Noted the daily telegraphs from Donsteppa begging for the BoP to be admitted to the Crusaders ceased on Sunday. Resolved to check with Kirwan if he has started receiving them now from Donsteppa. Bastard.
    11:30am: Spot news article with Helen Clarke wearing a lovely red suit, clearly she's a astute and insightful leader and worthy of her position, must make notes to encourage my friends to vote for her in the next election.
    12 noon: Break for lunch, am concerned with the amount of blue I keep seeing in the office, clearly there are a few closet Auckland supporters around here that have only come out of the wood-work now that their team have won the Super 12. Of course this is the type of behavior one would expect from Auckland supporters, only coming out when their team actually wins, no sense of loyalty.
    12:30pm: Spent majority of lunch break chasing up the props in my rugby team and quizzing them as to whether they watched that video I gave them. I have my suspicions that Ho-Chow-Mi-Wong has relatives in Auckland and is secretly supporting them, as not only did he fail to recite the Canterbury front row of the 1995 season but mentioned the name Steve McDowell!!!
    1:30pm: Am convinced that imbeciles surround me. Tried to convince Woo-Chi-Wang-Song of the comparative merits of Shane Philpot compared to Leon McDonald at fullback and all he did was stare blankly at me. Clearly my rugby genius is far too much for him to take.
    2:30pm: Again my rugby genius goes unheard, I'm almost sick of the pathetic weaklings that inhabit the Silverfern, what sort of blithering rugby ignoramus could not see the vital necessity of having Caleb Ralph in the team, the crying shame that Broomhall and Robertson were over-looked, and the fact that if we can't win the Bledisloe cup with only 13 Crusaders in the starting line-up how will we ever win it with only 11 in the entire squad??
    3pm: Mokey corrected a spelling mistake of BartMan's. Great effort to correct the morons on this board. I wonder if she is single?
    3.05pm: Brief period of guilt for feeling attracted to a non-Canterbury supporter, senselessly bellowed Reuben Thorne, Reuben Thorne, Reuben Thorne” for a few minutes. Felt much better afterwards.
    4:30pm: Delighted to see that courier had delivered my copy of Todd Blackadder's Greatest Lineout Takes 1991 - 2001 and Rueben Thorne's Rampaging Runs in the Black Jersey” on DVD. Immediately put it on and watched it non-stop.
    4:32pm: End of DVD, stunned speechless at the blessed fortune that Canterbury has such inspirational leaders.
    5pm: Looks like some O/T tonight waiting for a package from the Kuala Lumpur office. Noted Team Rebel has turned up for his shift on the Silverfern and is engaged in a series of inane posts with Donsteppa about who will play in the P/R game. Amateurs.
    5:37pm: On the way to rugby practice. Had to punch someone wearing a yellow and black jersey that was staring at me funnily.
    6pm: Consumed with rage. Club committee tuned down application to switch club colours to rednblack. May have to look at transferring to Valley.
    6:05pm: Cursed at one of the props who clearly wasnt on the same wavelength as me regarding lifting technique with specific reference to Greg Feek vs. Buller in the 2002 pre-season NPC warmup.
    6:37pm: Our fullback dropped it yet again at practice. Gave him the nickname Cully.
    7:02pm: Exchanged heated words with our blindside flanker after I caught him not inspecting the ruck during our shadow training run. Told him Reuben Thorne would be ashamed of him.
    8:30pm: At home and showered up after training. Cheered myself up by putting on a Crusaders jersey of 1999 vintage.
    8:33pm: On the SF again. Berated Mencey yet again for being a Cullen fan. Where do these Wellingtonians get off?
    8:34pm: Team Rebel got annoyed at me for absolutely no reason so I called him a oversensitive FluffyBunny. Really, getting irritated just because I asked what division Northland were in and called all halfbacks piston wristed gibbons. No wonder NZ rugby is getting soft.
    8:38pm: Gary rang to ask me if I needed counselling. Can't decide whether to go down to the pub to meet him or break open another specially imported box of Canterbury Draught.
    8:41pm: Canterbury Draught wins. Rang back Gary and told him to eat another toffee pop and drink another latte and that the Blues were hapless Johnn-come-latelies who will soon get their come-uppance.
    8:45pm: Started to watch a replay of the 1999 S12 final to cheer myself up.
    9:15pm: Really enjoying this game. Resolved to send copies to Dangerman & Lise.
    10:00pm: Laughed uproariously as Taine's men again struggle to contend with the real powerhouse of Southern rugby. Thrilled to see the real Southern men standing up on the day, guys like Marika Vunibaka, Afato So'oalo and Norm Berryman. Excellent stuff.
    10:30pm: Went to bed but not before lovingly dusting framed pictures of Todd Blackadder holding aloft various Super 12 trophies and once again checking that life-sized cardboard cut-outs were ok. Rested my Todd Blackadder Fluffy Bunny Slippers®” under the bed and got into my Crusader print pj's. Nodded off to the delightful sounds of Todd Blackadders greatest after match speeches” on tape. All is well with the world.



  • @Frank said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Trump killed gollum.

    Fake news.

    The Democrats did it.



  • @jegga said in Where are they now? (Past Ferners):

    Found it
    A day in the life of Phooey29 May, 2003 JP & DonSteppaAll times set on Hong Kong Phooey time, 4 hours behind NZ.
    3:24am: Woke up from a horrible dream that my eye-patch had shifted from my left eye to the right. All I could see were images of Jerry Collins. Rolled over and counted sheep to get me back to sleep.
    7am: Alarm went off. Love waking up to the sound of the Crusaders theme music and this morning was no exception.
    7:01am: Turned off the theme music and got out of bed. Put on my “Todd Blackadder Fluffy Bunny Slippers. Paused momentarily to check that my life-sized cardboard cutouts of Todd Blackadder and Rueben Thorne didnt have any dust on them lest it detract from their wondrous magnificence and impression of awe that they give from the foot of my bed.
    7:04am: Amble to computer and check the Silverfern website. Full of posts from obnoxious BoP Mafia. Barely concealed my contempt for their incessant ramblings by not lowering myself to respond to them.
    7:06am: This is the height of insolence. JP has spelt Scott Robertsons name incorrectly. Youd expect better seeing Robertson is originally from his feeder union BoP after all. Gave up on SF for now in disgust, but not before resolving to spite him later on.
    7:07am: Grabbed a bowl of cereal. Still havent heard back from South China Milk Co-op regarding their disgusting use of blue as the colour for their standard milk bottle tops. The red vivid will have to do for now.
    7:08am: Set down in front of TV and put on my video of the last 10 mins of the 1998 Super 12 final. Its nearly worn out so resolved to re-order a backup as I only have two backups left.
    7:17am: Laughed heartily once more at Tonu'u as James Kerr scores the winning try.
    7:25am: Got ready for work, carefully observed if my mutton chops were reaching the same lengths as Andrew Merthans, made mental note to collect some more ginger dye from pharmacist.
    7:35am: Left for work, scheming ways to make my props lift me higher at training tonight and wondering if they watched the 4 hour video I gave to them of Highlights of Crusaders Scrums 1996 – 2002.
    8:23am: Arrived at work to an e-mail from Gary abusing me about the Super 12 final loss to the Blues. Resolved to get coffee. Extra-strong.
    8:28am: Leaving our pleasantly decorated tea-room. Relieved that the Chinese use a lot of red as a lucky colour so I dont have to condemn them as sporting heathens.
    8:30am: Set myself down for another hard day at work.
    8:35am: Start browsing the Silverfern, JP clearly is an imbecile, not only did he spell Robertsons name wrong but has misquoted his height by an entire centimetre!! Clearly such slander shall not go unpunished!!
    9:30am: Still fuming about Scott Robertsons height being misquoted. Have to take out frustrations on the new Jerry Collins dartboard I recently purchased.
    10:30am: Depression has now set in, can't believe that the Crusaders have only come second in the super 12. SF filled with incancessant Aucklanders braying about their toffee-boy pin-up raging poof. Ya-boo what a bunch of soft-cocks those bloody Blues are and now only 11 Cantabs in the All Blacks. Switch eye-patch over with black-side showing, this is clearly a time of mourning for NZ rugby.
    10:45am: Noted the daily telegraphs from Donsteppa begging for the BoP to be admitted to the Crusaders ceased on Sunday. Resolved to check with Kirwan if he has started receiving them now from Donsteppa. Bastard.
    11:30am: Spot news article with Helen Clarke wearing a lovely red suit, clearly she's a astute and insightful leader and worthy of her position, must make notes to encourage my friends to vote for her in the next election.
    12 noon: Break for lunch, am concerned with the amount of blue I keep seeing in the office, clearly there are a few closet Auckland supporters around here that have only come out of the wood-work now that their team have won the Super 12. Of course this is the type of behavior one would expect from Auckland supporters, only coming out when their team actually wins, no sense of loyalty.
    12:30pm: Spent majority of lunch break chasing up the props in my rugby team and quizzing them as to whether they watched that video I gave them. I have my suspicions that Ho-Chow-Mi-Wong has relatives in Auckland and is secretly supporting them, as not only did he fail to recite the Canterbury front row of the 1995 season but mentioned the name Steve McDowell!!!
    1:30pm: Am convinced that imbeciles surround me. Tried to convince Woo-Chi-Wang-Song of the comparative merits of Shane Philpot compared to Leon McDonald at fullback and all he did was stare blankly at me. Clearly my rugby genius is far too much for him to take.
    2:30pm: Again my rugby genius goes unheard, I'm almost sick of the pathetic weaklings that inhabit the Silverfern, what sort of blithering rugby ignoramus could not see the vital necessity of having Caleb Ralph in the team, the crying shame that Broomhall and Robertson were over-looked, and the fact that if we can't win the Bledisloe cup with only 13 Crusaders in the starting line-up how will we ever win it with only 11 in the entire squad??
    3pm: Mokey corrected a spelling mistake of BartMan's. Great effort to correct the morons on this board. I wonder if she is single?
    3.05pm: Brief period of guilt for feeling attracted to a non-Canterbury supporter, senselessly bellowed Reuben Thorne, Reuben Thorne, Reuben Thorne” for a few minutes. Felt much better afterwards.
    4:30pm: Delighted to see that courier had delivered my copy of Todd Blackadder's Greatest Lineout Takes 1991 - 2001 and Rueben Thorne's Rampaging Runs in the Black Jersey” on DVD. Immediately put it on and watched it non-stop.
    4:32pm: End of DVD, stunned speechless at the blessed fortune that Canterbury has such inspirational leaders.
    5pm: Looks like some O/T tonight waiting for a package from the Kuala Lumpur office. Noted Team Rebel has turned up for his shift on the Silverfern and is engaged in a series of inane posts with Donsteppa about who will play in the P/R game. Amateurs.
    5:37pm: On the way to rugby practice. Had to punch someone wearing a yellow and black jersey that was staring at me funnily.
    6pm: Consumed with rage. Club committee tuned down application to switch club colours to rednblack. May have to look at transferring to Valley.
    6:05pm: Cursed at one of the props who clearly wasnt on the same wavelength as me regarding lifting technique with specific reference to Greg Feek vs. Buller in the 2002 pre-season NPC warmup.
    6:37pm: Our fullback dropped it yet again at practice. Gave him the nickname Cully.
    7:02pm: Exchanged heated words with our blindside flanker after I caught him not inspecting the ruck during our shadow training run. Told him Reuben Thorne would be ashamed of him.
    8:30pm: At home and showered up after training. Cheered myself up by putting on a Crusaders jersey of 1999 vintage.
    8:33pm: On the SF again. Berated Mencey yet again for being a Cullen fan. Where do these Wellingtonians get off?
    8:34pm: Team Rebel got annoyed at me for absolutely no reason so I called him a oversensitive FluffyBunny. Really, getting irritated just because I asked what division Northland were in and called all halfbacks piston wristed gibbons. No wonder NZ rugby is getting soft.
    8:38pm: Gary rang to ask me if I needed counselling. Can't decide whether to go down to the pub to meet him or break open another specially imported box of Canterbury Draught.
    8:41pm: Canterbury Draught wins. Rang back Gary and told him to eat another toffee pop and drink another latte and that the Blues were hapless Johnn-come-latelies who will soon get their come-uppance.
    8:45pm: Started to watch a replay of the 1999 S12 final to cheer myself up.
    9:15pm: Really enjoying this game. Resolved to send copies to Dangerman & Lise.
    10:00pm: Laughed uproariously as Taine's men again struggle to contend with the real powerhouse of Southern rugby. Thrilled to see the real Southern men standing up on the day, guys like Marika Vunibaka, Afato So'oalo and Norm Berryman. Excellent stuff.
    10:30pm: Went to bed but not before lovingly dusting framed pictures of Todd Blackadder holding aloft various Super 12 trophies and once again checking that life-sized cardboard cut-outs were ok. Rested my Todd Blackadder Fluffy Bunny Slippers®” under the bed and got into my Crusader print pj's. Nodded off to the delightful sounds of Todd Blackadders greatest after match speeches” on tape. All is well with the world.

    By God that is funny. Absolutely brilliant.



  • @Siam and a very nice avatar



  • Did a little bit of 'waybacking'...

    https://web.archive.org/web/19991013065109/http://rugbyweb.co.nz/index_barts.htm
    Not the forum but good for a chuckle about the air of positivity and calm two weeks out from disaster.

    https://web.archive.org/web/20001217123400/http://boards.rivals.net/default.asp?sid=1151&p=16
    One from 2000 and apart from myself I only really recognise Bart



  • Another 'Day in the Life' post. This one is about our old mate Eddie Jones...

    A day in the life of Eddie Jones…
    Thursday 7 August 2003 From speculative JP and The Don Steppa
    3.35am: Once again fell out of bed onto the floor. If only Mrs. Kefu was 56.3% smaller and not refusing to leave my bed until Steve gets back in the team.
    4:48am: This is getting ridiculous. Still not sleeping. Decided to get up and head to the trusty computer and its statistics package to try to justify picking Steve at inside centre again.
    4:52am: If one more cheeky sod thinks it’s funny to e-mail me that bloody “Memo from John Mitchell” again…
    5:00am: Scanning web for comments on the Wallabies. Once again “Nick the Aussie” is calling me a FluffyBunny on some Kiwi website. How cute.
    5:05am: Yawning too much though so retreated to the couch to try to get some decent sleep.
    7:30am: Awoken by the sounds of Mrs. Kefu cooking up a huge feed for her lads. With the amount of treacle on the pancakes no wonder Steve has so much trouble offloading the ball.
    7:35am: Not good. SMH says Rod MacQueen has turned down a coaching role in the UK to pursue “other business interests”. Looks like truth to the rumours he wants to get back into the business of running the Wallabies.
    7:44am: Back on the computer. Finally figured out that “Nick the Aussie” actually hates me! Resolved to dampen down this criticism before Sir John of Arfu finds out.
    7:45am: Sent Steve Kefu out with Nick’s contact address with the command to silence him.
    7:46am: Plans have ended in custard. Steve tripped down the front steps and broke his nose. How will I get rid of Mrs. Kefu now?
    7:48am: Abused apartment management about deliberate foul play on the part of the architect.
    8:15am: Received another anxious phone call from Georgie. I insisted once again that I was not trying to dump him and replace him with Andrew Johns.
    8:17am: Andrew hasn’t responded to my last 12 faxes, 25 voice messages or 83 e-mails. Sent him another text.
    10am: Began assembling for first team training of the week.
    10:10am: Dragged Patricio Noriega out of the nearby McDonalds.
    10:11am: And found Owen Finegan hiding in the corner.
    10:12am: Ditto Matt Dunning.
    10:15 Released Phil Waugh from his straight-jacket for training, cunning sod must have been watching Baakies Botha too much during the game as he’s almost gnawed through the straps. Make mental note to replace straps.
    10:20am: Began fitness session after warm-ups.
    10:21am: Matt Dunning is limping off the training field with claimed “sprained legs”.
    11am: Gregan is still running a half marathon before passing the ball from the base… surreptitiously sent Andrew Johns another text telling him that International Rugby makes you 83.74% more attractive to groupies at the bar.
    11:15am: State of abject panic. Received by courier a restraining order from Andrew Johns’s lawyers banning me from being within 5kms or making any contact with him in any manner. Sir John of Arfu won’t be happy about this.
    12pm: Back at the hotel. Checked mail before team lunch and found replies from Paddy O’Brien, Mark Laurence and Spreaders to my correspondence to them about cheating tactics at the ruck and slowing the ball down from all the other top 5 nations. Unfortunately the refs all seemed to send me a bland reply from the usual template...
    12:05pm Dragged the usual suspects out of the next door McDonalds.
    12:30pm: Phonecall from Sir John of ARFU. Avoided talking about the World Cup. Didn’t tell him of the setback with Johns yet.
    12:50pm: Bad news from the doctor. The 40m sprint has given Matt Dunning multiple stress fractures. Took him a comfort Party Pack from KFC.
    12:55pm: Team off for a round of golf whilst I deal with press commitments starting with the press conference at 1:30pm. Must come up with a way of getting rid of Mrs. Kefu.
    12:56pm: I wonder if Preston Campbell is interested in rugby?
    1:30pm: Press conference time. In a superbly crafted opening sentence I managed to insult Clive, condemn the Springboks and prove my vast knowledge of intricate statistics. Wonder that if I increase my speech by 12%, decrease the nouns by 5% and quicken the rate of my pronunciation by 2% whether I would sound like a South Australian gala or just Bob Dwyer during his later years as a coach.
    2:30pm: Watch a replay of ACT vs the Blues in 1999, and marvel at their cunning tactics, don’t know for the life of me why they don’t seem to work so well these days. I mean for goodness sake I’ve still got most of the players from back then as well; obviously it’s those obnoxious NSW and Queenslanders that are lousing things up for the rest of the team.
    3:00pm Receive word that Phil Waugh has escaped from his straight-jacket, send out a memo for staff to check all local sheep farms, he hasn’t taken the recent loss to NZ very well.
    3:15pm: Time to do some talent spotting for the future for some new young backs and especially wingers. Particularity disappointed to see that the Brisbane Bronco’s under 19’s weren’t playing, though the Newcastle Knights development side is, I wonder how that John’s boy is getting along??
    3:30pm: Bah!! I see those dammed kiwis are starting Brad Thorn in the team this weekend, dammed sods stealing our league talent. Shows the appalling lack of depth in NZ rugby that they have to stoop to poach league convert’s to play for their national side. Luckily we do nothing of the sort to have to boost our forward power, speaking of that I must really have a word to Jeremy Paul, Totai Kefu, Patrico Noreiga and that Panaho chap about our line-out this week-end.
    4:00pm: Still no word on Phil Waugh, still I think there’s a 74.45% chance that they’ll find him with-in the next hour.
    4:32pm: Slightly concerned about Corne Krike’s comments about suing us, really you’d think that some people would take being called a filthy cheating b*stard scum-of-the-earth type thug a little better than what he has. Defamation he says, wonder if I can extract the same leverage against Mrs. Kefu if the media ever find out about us??
    4:45pm: Phil Waugh recaptured. Relief.
    5pm: Interviewed by the “Rugby Planet Website”. Managed to slip in a few remarks about how England would never win the TriNations, barely qualify for the Sydney club competition, the 6 Nations was a farce of a competition, and how Clive Woodward and his Dads Army wouldn’t progress past pool play.
    5:10pm: Deflected the insolence of the interviewer to question my England assertions by reminding him that Super 12 rugby is 16% less physical than test rugby and only 4% separates the top and bottom S12 teams, so that means that our recent narrow and undeserved losses to the English shows that there is only a 0.938% difference between the teams, and I can fix this easily for the next game by using a calculator, a thesaurus and a Jedi mind control trick.
    5:30pm: Leave interview to find out that the minders blunderingly put Phil Waugh into Steve Larkham’s cotton wool suit by mistake and he has escaped again. 98% chance I’ll throw a tantrum at the minders.
    5:55pm: Waugh recaptured just before trying to climb up the outside of the nearest high-rise building with a Barbie doll in his pocket. Relief.
    6:05pm: Is that Rod McQueen up ahead?
    6:05:05pm: Swerved but missed.
    6:15pm: Players are back from the golf game. ‘Bernie’ Larkham was apparently mistaken by the bus driver for a delivery to the mortuary. Taxi sent to retrieve.
    6:30pm: Urgently brought team dinner forward by half an hour. Cannon is learning bad habits as he was chewing on poor wee Elton’s shoulder.
    7pm: Team tactics session for half an hour.
    7:15pm: Team tactics session seems to have turned into a group therapy session to ease the pathological fear that the league boys have of the side-line.
    7:32pm: Georgie storms out to spend the night in a hotel with his family.
    7:42pm: Finally got to start to explain the importance of not getting caught flatfooted in defence to Latham.
    8pm: Team tactics session finishes with Tuquiri and Sailor hugging each other and holding back the tears about the sideline. Progress has been made
    8:10pm: Campese is being interviewed on the radio and is not being complementary. Quickly ring Sir John of Arfu on the grounds that he can’t hear the interview while he’s on the phone to me. Confirmed my suspicion that voodoo dolls are worthless as Campese isn’t screaming in agony.
    8:15pm: E-mail from Clive Woodward asking for Campo’s address in order to send him a Christmas card.
    8:25pm: Alan Jones is walking under my balcony
    8:25:03pm: Bugger. Pot plant missed.
    8:30pm: Released Phil into his cage for the night.
    8:45 pm: Thankfully there is still no sign of Mrs Kefu. Hopefully she is still looking after her clown younger son who now has a clown like nose.
    8:48pm: Despondent. Didn’t check the bedroom. Mrs Kefu in her usual spot. Fled downstairs into a taxi.
    9:10pm: Arrived at different hotel. Spotted Georgie dashing out of sight up a stairwell.
    9:20pm: Massive tantrum. Clive has also forwarded me the “Memo from John Mitchell” e-mail.
    9:25pm: Video review session. If I look hard enough I’m sure I’ll find some holes that the inside pass will work for.
    11:30pm: Clearly I’ll need different camera angles. Obviously Channel 7 has given me the wrong ones. Decide to give up for the night and go to bed.
    11:45pm: Cowering under the covers. Mrs Kefu is banging at the door with Steve in tow…
    OFFICIAL WARNING: Some of the stories here may have been made up, and most are heavily opinionated, and many have little baring on reality as we know it... In fact little have anything to do with actual fact, and are not purported as such...


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