Other Sports rugby XV



  • from the Set Piece facebook page.

    I would have put little kane at ten

    Cricket World Cup XV

    1-Rohit Sharma- big, slow and loves a pre game curry. Helps with his prolific runs
    2-Aaron Finch- low centre of gravity, swings from the hips. Chews through more metres than he does gum
    3-Lasith Malinga- Has put on formidable size over recent years, still as quick and reliable as ever
    4- Jason Holder- expert in the lineouts, must be managed well as can suffer from white line fever
    5 Mitch Starc- built like a beanpole
    6- Luteru Ross Poutoa Lote Taylor- proven gene pool
    7 Ben Stokes- fiery customer who defends his line as well as he does gays
    8 Sheldon Cottrel- a big unit. Rumour has it that he is the OG mudbone
    9-Virat Kohli- annoying fluffybunny, talks to much, steps up on the big stage
    10- Shakib al Hassan (c)- cool calm and collected. Very tactical player, strong all round game
    11- Trent Boult- classy finisher and a talent with ball in hand, can’t tackle to save himself
    12- Marcus Stonis- the Incredible Hulk, fuck tackling the hulk
    13- Carlos Braithwaite- runs great lines, speed to burn but sometimes trips out
    14 Pat Cummins- lean mean running machine. Good hands in the field too. Also has a hot Mrs
    15-Rashid Khan - has great experience under the mid field bomb, not afraid to return fire

    Coach: Mickey Arthur- has thrown games in the past but has matured as a coach, ready for war
    Justin Langer- backs coach, got best and fairest for the Illawarra ibis u12’s

    Physiotherapist: Laura Mcgoldrick (Guppy hasn’t been putting out obviously)

    Honorouable mentions:
    Chris Gayle- Refused to take compulsory drug test
    David Warner, Faf Du Pleisis, Steve Smith, Mohammad Amir- too many red cards for hands in the ruck
    Alex Hales- caught smacking too many rails
    Lockie girl
    Blackcaps vs. England Streaker - a great New Zealander
    Keith Cameron



  • Dhoni at fullback?



  • Andre Russell and the Neesh in the midfield.



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  • A Theological XV:

    Loose Head Prop: Tertullian. A formidable, hardnosed scrummager. Handy to keep both opposition and errant team mates inline. Gives no quarter, but inclined to give away the odd penalty.
    Hooker: Martin Luther.A wide-ranging player who has redefined the way the game is played. Fearless in his opposition, he always quick to play “second referee” with an innovative line in both physical and verbal intimidation. Feared by his opposition yet admired for his skill. Great for leading scatological rugby songs at the after match.
    Tight Head Prop: John Calvin. Unyielding, stern prop who seems destined to be the corner stone ofthe scrum for years to come. Plays an extremely ordered, disciplined game with a great knowledge of the laws of the game- and how they can be amended.
    Lock: Augustine. After an early flirtation with league has become a tower of strength in this side. A visionary jumper, he works extremely hard in the tight. One of the largest players int he game, has also written a well-received autobiography. Versatile back-up kicker.
    Lock: Thomas Aquinas. Leader of the forward pack, an excellent scrummager and surprisingly wide-ranging on defence. The player others tend to build their game around.
    Open side Flanker: Nikolai Berdyaev. Little known but highly impressive Russian flanker. Can be counted on to cover a lot of ground with an instinctive nose for where the ball is going. Often fringes on the verge of being offside, but a good on-the ground scrambler and surprisingly elusive runner.
    Blind side flanker: Reinhold Neibhur. Stern and unyeilding tackler but very ethical player noted for dislike of dirty play. Works well with Barth. Quick to shut down opposition forays down his flank. (Younger brother an up and coming player of potential).
    No.8: Karl Barth. A Player with an encyclopaedic knowledge of the game who epitomises how defence can be a form of offence. Immensely strong and mor nimble than appears, is known for his disdain for other codes. Incessant tackler.
    Halfback: Gustavo Gutierrez. This Peruvian player has benefited from several seasons spent in Europe. Nimble assessor of own team and opposition weaknesses, if occasionally inclined to run too far without support. Huge hands mean a great pass.
    First Five Eight: St Paul. Visionary player, great organiser of the backline with an unerring boot off either foot. The pivot of the team, if occasionally inclined to cockiness. Quick to correct the mistakes of opposition teams. Has many imitators.
    Second Five Eight: Emil Brunner A solid, orthodox player who works well in tandem with Paul. Perhaps doesn’t play his natural game often enough, but extremely dependable. Very good at cutting back to the forward pack to set up second phase ball. Same club team as Barth but recent rift has possibility of disrupting team cohesion.
    Centre: Rudolf Bultmann. Has the merits of all good centres in that he provides overlaps and opportunities for the more elusive wings to run off. Extremely good ability to disassemble opposition game plans and very good at straightening up play.
    Left winger: Friedrich Schliermacher. Has stuck with the game despite early opposition. Able to weave a veil around his opposite number. A very instinctive player who often appears to teeter on the edge of self-destruction. Works very well with Bultmann.
    Rightwing: Teilhard de Chardin. A fast running wing who was out of the selectors favour for some time but is now acknowledged as having a lot to contribute.
    Fullback: Jesus. Enough said.



  • 1- Glen ‘Baby Shaq’ Davis
    2- Vinnie ‘Microwave’ Johnson
    3- Shaquille O’Neal
    4- Wilt “the Stilt” Chamberlain
    5- Bill Russell
    6- Denis Rodman
    7- Lebron James
    8- Karl Malone
    9- John Stockton
    10- Magic Johnson
    11- Michael Jordan
    12- Reggie Miller
    13- Kawhi Leonard
    14- Kobe Bryant
    15- Klay Thompson

    Two best scorers on the wings. Best passer at halfback and an 8/9 combo for the ages.

    A steady hand at 1st 5 - can pass, attack and a great general on the field.

    Lineout ball won’t be an issue with those locks.

    Resident pyscho at blindside and quickness, power at openiside.

    Defensive stopper at centre and an attacking smooth operator at 2nd 5.

    The front row, well the better player is always at tight head 😉

    Fullback was the hardest but went with a long range bomber that won’t let you down defensively.



  • @ACT-Crusader The token white guy at halfback.



  • @mikedogz said in Other Sports rugby XV:

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    No Eastwood, Schwarzenegger, Norris, Jackman, Bale....I can see why this post has 0 upvotes



  • @Wally said in Other Sports rugby XV:

    A Theological XV:

    Loose Head Prop: Tertullian. A formidable, hardnosed scrummager. Handy to keep both opposition and errant team mates inline. Gives no quarter, but inclined to give away the odd penalty.
    Hooker: Martin Luther.A wide-ranging player who has redefined the way the game is played. Fearless in his opposition, he always quick to play “second referee” with an innovative line in both physical and verbal intimidation. Feared by his opposition yet admired for his skill. Great for leading scatological rugby songs at the after match.
    Tight Head Prop: John Calvin. Unyielding, stern prop who seems destined to be the corner stone ofthe scrum for years to come. Plays an extremely ordered, disciplined game with a great knowledge of the laws of the game- and how they can be amended.
    Lock: Augustine. After an early flirtation with league has become a tower of strength in this side. A visionary jumper, he works extremely hard in the tight. One of the largest players int he game, has also written a well-received autobiography. Versatile back-up kicker.
    Lock: Thomas Aquinas. Leader of the forward pack, an excellent scrummager and surprisingly wide-ranging on defence. The player others tend to build their game around.
    Open side Flanker: Nikolai Berdyaev. Little known but highly impressive Russian flanker. Can be counted on to cover a lot of ground with an instinctive nose for where the ball is going. Often fringes on the verge of being offside, but a good on-the ground scrambler and surprisingly elusive runner.
    Blind side flanker: Reinhold Neibhur. Stern and unyeilding tackler but very ethical player noted for dislike of dirty play. Works well with Barth. Quick to shut down opposition forays down his flank. (Younger brother an up and coming player of potential).
    No.8: Karl Barth. A Player with an encyclopaedic knowledge of the game who epitomises how defence can be a form of offence. Immensely strong and mor nimble than appears, is known for his disdain for other codes. Incessant tackler.
    Halfback: Gustavo Gutierrez. This Peruvian player has benefited from several seasons spent in Europe. Nimble assessor of own team and opposition weaknesses, if occasionally inclined to run too far without support. Huge hands mean a great pass.
    First Five Eight: St Paul. Visionary player, great organiser of the backline with an unerring boot off either foot. The pivot of the team, if occasionally inclined to cockiness. Quick to correct the mistakes of opposition teams. Has many imitators.
    Second Five Eight: Emil Brunner A solid, orthodox player who works well in tandem with Paul. Perhaps doesn’t play his natural game often enough, but extremely dependable. Very good at cutting back to the forward pack to set up second phase ball. Same club team as Barth but recent rift has possibility of disrupting team cohesion.
    Centre: Rudolf Bultmann. Has the merits of all good centres in that he provides overlaps and opportunities for the more elusive wings to run off. Extremely good ability to disassemble opposition game plans and very good at straightening up play.
    Left winger: Friedrich Schliermacher. Has stuck with the game despite early opposition. Able to weave a veil around his opposite number. A very instinctive player who often appears to teeter on the edge of self-destruction. Works very well with Bultmann.
    Rightwing: Teilhard de Chardin. A fast running wing who was out of the selectors favour for some time but is now acknowledged as having a lot to contribute.
    Fullback: Jesus. Enough said.

    I’m far too thick to even google why this is funny



  • @Bovidae said in Other Sports rugby XV:

    @ACT-Crusader The token white guy at halfback.

    Like the token Maori...



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  • @mikedogz said in Other Sports rugby XV:

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    So only one lock jumping at lineout time....



  • @Wally

    I would have picked Paul Tillich as Openside as a modernist he would keep up to date with all the rule changes. His idea of God above God was clearly a prediction of McCaw.

    William of Ockham (with his razor) is a nasty brute of a hooker but can switch to prop if neeeded.



  • Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons

    Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
    Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
    Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
    Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
    Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
    Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
    Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
    Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
    Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
    First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
    Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
    Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
    Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
    Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
    Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball.



  • @sparky Lock - General Grievous, think of the contesting opposition throws



  • @Wally Moses and Aaron were the ultimate five-eight combo. A few angry words from Moses. Aaron struck his mighty rod on the ground. And the Red Sea rush defence parted.



  • @mikedogz I'd always pick a Kiwi at 7 if one was available.



  • @sparky

    Excellent!



  • @sparky said in Other Sports rugby XV:

    Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons

    Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
    Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
    Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
    Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
    Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
    Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
    Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
    Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
    Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
    First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
    Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
    Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
    Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
    Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
    Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball.

    I'm quite triggered a legend like Han is being compared to a dickwad like BOD.

    Han never whinged about nearly dying.


  • Banned

    @MN5 said in Other Sports rugby XV:

    @sparky said in Other Sports rugby XV:

    Star Wars XV: The Millennium Falcons

    Prop: Jek Porkins – This bloke isn’t notable at all, but he’s one of the few Star Wars characters who has a sweet prop body.
    Hooker: Ewok – Shorter than the two props, valiant warriors, throw spears and stones well
    Prop: Jabba the Hut – Not expecting much from him work rate wise but should be solid in a scrum
    Lock: Chewbacca – Huge powerful ball carrier and excellent height for jumping in the lineout.
    Lock: Mace Windu – Competent with the force, the Jedi bring a bit of balance to a pack.
    Blind Side Flanker: Kylo Ren – Fairly young, but has immense talent. Nice to have a Grandad/Grandson partnership in the back-row
    Openside Flanker: Darth Maul – A master of the dark arts, he’d be crucial at the breakdown. Also, he was the best thing about the prequels.
    Number Eight: Darth Vadar - Dreams of being Brian Lochore.
    Half Back: Yoda – A diminutive playmaker who’ll run the show from start to finish.
    First Five: Luke Shywalker - The obvious choice for goal kicker after a stellar 100% kicking performance at destroying the death star
    Wing: Obi-wan Kenobi – Good pace and the master of the counter-attack
    Second Five: Han Solo – May have been killed off. But we’re backing him to put in a BOD like display for our XV.
    Centre: Po Dameron – The young upstart of the team. Doesn’t get a lot of game-time in his first appearance but made a big contribution late on.
    Wing: Lando Calrissian – A pretty boy, Lando is a flair winger, leaving the dog work to the likes of Han. Dreams of being a centre.
    Fullback: Boba Fett - His jetpack helps him under the high ball.

    I'm quite triggered a legend like Han is being compared to a dickwad like BOD.

    Han never whinged about nearly dying.

    I'm more triggered by Po Dameron being there. Centre has to be smart and focused. Po is an idiot. He'd take the wrong man every single time.

    Wedge should be there. Dooku also at lock. Mace isn't tall enough.


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