Found it
A day in the life of Phooey29 May, 2003 JP & DonSteppaAll times set on Hong Kong Phooey time, 4 hours behind NZ.
3:24am: Woke up from a horrible dream that my eye-patch had shifted from my left eye to the right. All I could see were images of Jerry Collins. Rolled over and counted sheep to get me back to sleep.
7am: Alarm went off. Love waking up to the sound of the Crusaders theme music and this morning was no exception.
7:01am: Turned off the theme music and got out of bed. Put on my “Todd Blackadder Fluffy Bunny Slippers. Paused momentarily to check that my life-sized cardboard cutouts of Todd Blackadder and Rueben Thorne didnt have any dust on them lest it detract from their wondrous magnificence and impression of awe that they give from the foot of my bed.
7:04am: Amble to computer and check the Silverfern website. Full of posts from obnoxious BoP Mafia. Barely concealed my contempt for their incessant ramblings by not lowering myself to respond to them.
7:06am: This is the height of insolence. JP has spelt Scott Robertsons name incorrectly. Youd expect better seeing Robertson is originally from his feeder union BoP after all. Gave up on SF for now in disgust, but not before resolving to spite him later on.
7:07am: Grabbed a bowl of cereal. Still havent heard back from South China Milk Co-op regarding their disgusting use of blue as the colour for their standard milk bottle tops. The red vivid will have to do for now.
7:08am: Set down in front of TV and put on my video of the last 10 mins of the 1998 Super 12 final. Its nearly worn out so resolved to re-order a backup as I only have two backups left.
7:17am: Laughed heartily once more at Tonu'u as James Kerr scores the winning try.
7:25am: Got ready for work, carefully observed if my mutton chops were reaching the same lengths as Andrew Merthans, made mental note to collect some more ginger dye from pharmacist.
7:35am: Left for work, scheming ways to make my props lift me higher at training tonight and wondering if they watched the 4 hour video I gave to them of Highlights of Crusaders Scrums 1996 – 2002.
8:23am: Arrived at work to an e-mail from Gary abusing me about the Super 12 final loss to the Blues. Resolved to get coffee. Extra-strong.
8:28am: Leaving our pleasantly decorated tea-room. Relieved that the Chinese use a lot of red as a lucky colour so I dont have to condemn them as sporting heathens.
8:30am: Set myself down for another hard day at work.
8:35am: Start browsing the Silverfern, JP clearly is an imbecile, not only did he spell Robertsons name wrong but has misquoted his height by an entire centimetre!! Clearly such slander shall not go unpunished!!
9:30am: Still fuming about Scott Robertsons height being misquoted. Have to take out frustrations on the new Jerry Collins dartboard I recently purchased.
10:30am: Depression has now set in, can't believe that the Crusaders have only come second in the super 12. SF filled with incancessant Aucklanders braying about their toffee-boy pin-up raging poof. Ya-boo what a bunch of soft-cocks those bloody Blues are and now only 11 Cantabs in the All Blacks. Switch eye-patch over with black-side showing, this is clearly a time of mourning for NZ rugby.
10:45am: Noted the daily telegraphs from Donsteppa begging for the BoP to be admitted to the Crusaders ceased on Sunday. Resolved to check with Kirwan if he has started receiving them now from Donsteppa. Bastard.
11:30am: Spot news article with Helen Clarke wearing a lovely red suit, clearly she's a astute and insightful leader and worthy of her position, must make notes to encourage my friends to vote for her in the next election.
12 noon: Break for lunch, am concerned with the amount of blue I keep seeing in the office, clearly there are a few closet Auckland supporters around here that have only come out of the wood-work now that their team have won the Super 12. Of course this is the type of behavior one would expect from Auckland supporters, only coming out when their team actually wins, no sense of loyalty.
12:30pm: Spent majority of lunch break chasing up the props in my rugby team and quizzing them as to whether they watched that video I gave them. I have my suspicions that Ho-Chow-Mi-Wong has relatives in Auckland and is secretly supporting them, as not only did he fail to recite the Canterbury front row of the 1995 season but mentioned the name Steve McDowell!!!
1:30pm: Am convinced that imbeciles surround me. Tried to convince Woo-Chi-Wang-Song of the comparative merits of Shane Philpot compared to Leon McDonald at fullback and all he did was stare blankly at me. Clearly my rugby genius is far too much for him to take.
2:30pm: Again my rugby genius goes unheard, I'm almost sick of the pathetic weaklings that inhabit the Silverfern, what sort of blithering rugby ignoramus could not see the vital necessity of having Caleb Ralph in the team, the crying shame that Broomhall and Robertson were over-looked, and the fact that if we can't win the Bledisloe cup with only 13 Crusaders in the starting line-up how will we ever win it with only 11 in the entire squad??
3pm: Mokey corrected a spelling mistake of BartMan's. Great effort to correct the morons on this board. I wonder if she is single?
3.05pm: Brief period of guilt for feeling attracted to a non-Canterbury supporter, senselessly bellowed Reuben Thorne, Reuben Thorne, Reuben Thorne†for a few minutes. Felt much better afterwards.
4:30pm: Delighted to see that courier had delivered my copy of Todd Blackadder's Greatest Lineout Takes 1991 - 2001 and Rueben Thorne's Rampaging Runs in the Black Jersey†on DVD. Immediately put it on and watched it non-stop.
4:32pm: End of DVD, stunned speechless at the blessed fortune that Canterbury has such inspirational leaders.
5pm: Looks like some O/T tonight waiting for a package from the Kuala Lumpur office. Noted Team Rebel has turned up for his shift on the Silverfern and is engaged in a series of inane posts with Donsteppa about who will play in the P/R game. Amateurs.
5:37pm: On the way to rugby practice. Had to punch someone wearing a yellow and black jersey that was staring at me funnily.
6pm: Consumed with rage. Club committee tuned down application to switch club colours to rednblack. May have to look at transferring to Valley.
6:05pm: Cursed at one of the props who clearly wasnt on the same wavelength as me regarding lifting technique with specific reference to Greg Feek vs. Buller in the 2002 pre-season NPC warmup.
6:37pm: Our fullback dropped it yet again at practice. Gave him the nickname Cully.
7:02pm: Exchanged heated words with our blindside flanker after I caught him not inspecting the ruck during our shadow training run. Told him Reuben Thorne would be ashamed of him.
8:30pm: At home and showered up after training. Cheered myself up by putting on a Crusaders jersey of 1999 vintage.
8:33pm: On the SF again. Berated Mencey yet again for being a Cullen fan. Where do these Wellingtonians get off?
8:34pm: Team Rebel got annoyed at me for absolutely no reason so I called him a oversensitive FluffyBunny. Really, getting irritated just because I asked what division Northland were in and called all halfbacks piston wristed gibbons. No wonder NZ rugby is getting soft.
8:38pm: Gary rang to ask me if I needed counselling. Can't decide whether to go down to the pub to meet him or break open another specially imported box of Canterbury Draught.
8:41pm: Canterbury Draught wins. Rang back Gary and told him to eat another toffee pop and drink another latte and that the Blues were hapless Johnn-come-latelies who will soon get their come-uppance.
8:45pm: Started to watch a replay of the 1999 S12 final to cheer myself up.
9:15pm: Really enjoying this game. Resolved to send copies to Dangerman & Lise.
10:00pm: Laughed uproariously as Taine's men again struggle to contend with the real powerhouse of Southern rugby. Thrilled to see the real Southern men standing up on the day, guys like Marika Vunibaka, Afato So'oalo and Norm Berryman. Excellent stuff.
10:30pm: Went to bed but not before lovingly dusting framed pictures of Todd Blackadder holding aloft various Super 12 trophies and once again checking that life-sized cardboard cut-outs were ok. Rested my Todd Blackadder Fluffy Bunny Slippers®†under the bed and got into my Crusader print pj's. Nodded off to the delightful sounds of Todd Blackadders greatest after match speeches†on tape. All is well with the world.