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@MiketheSnow @Frank
What a choice facing the American electorate! -
Better in here than the actual NZ Politics thread...
AND NOW FOR THE SIX O’CLOCK NEWS. - Credit: Rod Kane
Good evening, here is the news, Today the minister of everything and health, Mr Chris Hipreplacement, announced there will be new hospitals built in every small provincial town in NZ. This will bring health to the people, people that live out the back of nowhere he said, so that they have access to health care like everyone else. It is not fair and racist that someone living in say, Waithephuckshouldimove have to drive 50km to a hospital. This will create another 452 DHBs and the money will come from current DHB funding he said.
The minister of employment, Mr Willie Jerkoffson, announced the end of unemployment. “Yep, got it down to zero” he said, “I did this with the help of our beautiful and amazing Leader the wonderful angel Jacinderella who we all adore and love to the bottom of our hearts for saving all our lives and being so kind and knowing all about washing hands and blowing our little noses “ as he polished up her right boot with his tongue. When questioned further it would seem that the word ‘unemployment’ has now been disallowed and they are all now ‘jobseekers’. This has gone up by another 152,683 this month.
The minister of Justice, Mr Andrew Littlebrain, also announced a 40% drop in the prison population today. “it was just good management on my part” he said, and very simple, “ I just opened a lot of the doors and let them out. I can’t understand why the Nats didn’t think about this in their 9 years in office”. They are, after all, the victims and ‘clients’, he explained. He also announced another $382 Million would be spent on the Pike River Mine to recover family loved ones and evidence. ‘It’s far too dangerous to go into that mine so we are going to turn it into an open-cast mine and then backfill all the material to preserve the lesser spotted green horned mine snail the minute we find evidence of wrongdoing in the 1500 degrees charred mine, like a cigarette butt for instance, or a piece of paper with an admission on it. So everyone will have a win, esp the Greens who we need. “ A wealth tax will pay for this” he said.
Maori treaty settlements will today get another boost across the board as the interim time limit for full settlement has been reached. Ngapuhi still cannot find a representative to accept the $500 million that the aptly named ‘Grant’ Robberson wants to give them so all of the tribes get another 10% and this will continue until agreement is reached at hui which is expected sometime in the next 500 years. The Waitangi Tribunal will also be on full stream and pay until this has been resolved. “It’s only money and Death duties will pay for this” said Mr Robberson, who added that Labour would not bring in new taxes “but he could not of course speak for a coalition govt” he added with a wry smile.
The Minister of disaster, Mt Fool Twatford, announced that Kiwibuild had completed another house today. This was built in the record time of less than a year. Sadly a mistake in the plans left out the kitchen and bathroom and it has no bedrooms. “It has not been sold but it will be as soon as we find a buyer with $1,450,000” he proudly said with a red rubber ball on his nose and a bright orange curly wig .
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@Rembrandt said in Political Memes:
I'm 95% sure this is manipulated media
What doubt exactly left you with the 5%?
Just possible that he is enough of a twit to do that without drums? Or a horn section and backing vocals? O.K. I'm with ya.
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How did I get this far without seeing Trump playing the accordion?
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Political Memes (memes only)