Lockdown/Covid Check In
-
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
-
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
at least you can drive more than 10kms from your house and your bloody kids are at school!!!
-
@voodoo said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
at least you can drive more than 10kms from your house and your bloody kids are at school!!!
okay yes you are winning the misery olympics
but i really like the races. and a weekend away with the wife. soooo...
-
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@voodoo said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
at least you can drive more than 10kms from your house and your bloody kids are at school!!!
okay yes you are winning the misery olympics
but i really like the races. and a weekend away with the wife. soooo...
yeah, would have been an epic trip - fingers crossed for the Everest!
-
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
I thought getting back in was the problem? I had no issues last weekend, although wearing a mask everywhere in Brisbane was a bit stupid.
-
@antipodean said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
I thought getting back in was the problem? I had no issues last weekend, although wearing a mask everywhere in Brisbane was a bit stupid.
well, if i go to Sydney, i can't do anything, and then as soon as i land in Cairns (assuming there is even flights) i will be taken to the Pacific Hotel for 14 days (mixed in with people from PNG, so you know, lots of high risk people).
So yeah, for all intents and purposes i can't leave the state.
-
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@antipodean said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
I thought getting back in was the problem? I had no issues last weekend, although wearing a mask everywhere in Brisbane was a bit stupid.
well, if i go to Sydney, i can't do anything, and then as soon as i land in Cairns (assuming there is even flights) i will be taken to the Pacific Hotel for 14 days (mixed in with people from PNG, so you know, lots of high risk people).
So yeah, for all intents and purposes i can't leave the state.
I thought high rollers such as yourself could isolate at home?
-
@antipodean said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@antipodean said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
I thought getting back in was the problem? I had no issues last weekend, although wearing a mask everywhere in Brisbane was a bit stupid.
well, if i go to Sydney, i can't do anything, and then as soon as i land in Cairns (assuming there is even flights) i will be taken to the Pacific Hotel for 14 days (mixed in with people from PNG, so you know, lots of high risk people).
So yeah, for all intents and purposes i can't leave the state.
I thought high rollers such as yourself could isolate at home?
lol at both of those assumptions
-
@mariner4life Sorry Bro you have to live under those circumstances. One good thing about the States is that there are enough people and states that object to the strategy so there is blow back against the liberals and their fear and passing the responsibility for ones health on others. https://share.icloud.com/photos/0bUlmi8N8n8ZLhX3kX4yPfFsQ
-
@voodoo said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@voodoo said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
at least you can drive more than 10kms from your house and your bloody kids are at school!!!
okay yes you are winning the misery olympics
but i really like the races. and a weekend away with the wife. soooo...
yeah, would have been an epic trip - fingers crossed for the Everest!
Fingers crossed over here too... (about a 20% chance of that trip going ahead for me, I reckon)
-
@smudge said in Lockdown Check In:
@voodoo said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@voodoo said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@broughie said in Lockdown Check In:
I am in Aruba right know on a dive trip
this motherfucker!! i am supposed to be in Sydney on a races weekend, hanging out with Gai Waterhouse, and i can't even leave the fucking State!!!!
at least you can drive more than 10kms from your house and your bloody kids are at school!!!
okay yes you are winning the misery olympics
but i really like the races. and a weekend away with the wife. soooo...
yeah, would have been an epic trip - fingers crossed for the Everest!
Fingers crossed over here too... (about a 20% chance of that trip going ahead for me, I reckon)
considering the show that the girls were going to has now been postponed until next year, i reckon i am now at even longer odds than you.
-
I thought this was a good read and summed up where I find myself:
That Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing
The neglected middle child of mental health can dull your motivation and focus — and it may be the dominant emotion of 2021.
By Adam Grant
At first, I didn’t recognize the symptoms that we all had in common. Friends mentioned that they were having trouble concentrating. Colleagues reported that even with vaccines on the horizon, they weren’t excited about 2021. A family member was staying up late to watch “National Treasure” again even though she knows the movie by heart. And instead of bouncing out of bed at 6 a.m., I was lying there until 7, playing Words with Friends.
It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless. We just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.
Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021.
As scientists and physicians work to treat and cure the physical symptoms of long-haul Covid, many people are struggling with the emotional long-haul of the pandemic. It hit some of us unprepared as the intense fear and grief of last year faded.
In the early, uncertain days of the pandemic, it’s likely that your brain’s threat detection system — called the amygdala — was on high alert for fight-or-flight. As you learned that masks helped protect us — but package-scrubbing didn’t — you probably developed routines that eased your sense of dread. But the pandemic has dragged on, and the acute state of anguish has given way to a chronic condition of languish.
In psychology, we think about mental health on a spectrum from depression to flourishing. Flourishing is the peak of well-being: You have a strong sense of meaning, mastery and mattering to others. Depression is the valley of ill-being: You feel despondent, drained and worthless.
Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression — and in some ways it may be a bigger risk factor for mental illness.
The term was coined by a sociologist named Corey Keyes, who was struck that many people who weren’t depressed also weren’t thriving. His research suggests that the people most likely to experience major depression and anxiety disorders in the next decade aren’t the ones with those symptoms today. They’re the people who are languishing right now. And new evidence from pandemic health care workers in Italy shows that those who were languishing in the spring of 2020 were three times more likely than their peers to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.Part of the danger is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference. When you can’t see your own suffering, you don’t seek help or even do much to help yourself.
Even if you’re not languishing, you probably know people who are. Understanding it better can help you help them.
A name for what you’re feeling
Psychologists find that one of the best strategies for managing emotions is to name them. Last spring, during the acute anguish of the pandemic, the most viral post in the history of Harvard Business Review was an article describing our collective discomfort as grief. Along with the loss of loved ones, we were mourning the loss of normalcy. “Grief.” It gave us a familiar vocabulary to understand what had felt like an unfamiliar experience. Although we hadn’t faced a pandemic before, most of us had faced loss. It helped us crystallize lessons from our own past resilience — and gain confidence in our ability to face present adversity.
The term was coined by a sociologist named Corey Keyes, who was struck that many people who weren’t depressed also weren’t thriving. His research suggests that the people most likely to experience major depression and anxiety disorders in the next decade aren’t the ones with those symptoms today. They’re the people who are languishing right now. And new evidence from pandemic health care workers in Italy shows that those who were languishing in the spring of 2020 were three times more likely than their peers to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
Part of the danger is that when you’re languishing, you might not notice the dulling of delight or the dwindling of drive. You don’t catch yourself slipping slowly into solitude; you’re indifferent to your indifference. When you can’t see your own suffering, you don’t seek help or even do much to help yourself.
Even if you’re not languishing, you probably know people who are. Understanding it better can help you help them.
A name for what you’re feeling
Psychologists find that one of the best strategies for managing emotions is to name them. Last spring, during the acute anguish of the pandemic, the most viral post in the history of Harvard Business Review was an article describing our collective discomfort as grief. Along with the loss of loved ones, we were mourning the loss of normalcy. “Grief.” It gave us a familiar vocabulary to understand what had felt like an unfamiliar experience. Although we hadn’t faced a pandemic before, most of us had faced loss. It helped us crystallize lessons from our own past resilience — and gain confidence in our ability to face present adversity.
We still have a lot to learn about what causes languishing and how to cure it, but naming it might be a first step. It could help to defog our vision, giving us a clearer window into what had been a blurry experience. It could remind us that we aren’t alone: languishing is common and shared.And it could give us a socially acceptable response to “How are you?”
Instead of saying “Great!” or “Fine,” imagine if we answered, “Honestly, I’m languishing.” It would be a refreshing foil for toxic positivity — that quintessentially American pressure to be upbeat at all times.
When you add languishing to your lexicon, you start to notice it all around you. It shows up when you feel let down by your short afternoon walk. It’s in your kids’ voices when you ask how online school went. It’s in “The Simpsons” every time a character says, “Meh.”
Last summer, the journalist Daphne K. Lee tweeted about a Chinese expression that translates to “revenge bedtime procrastination.” She described it as staying up late at night to reclaim the freedom we’ve missed during the day. I’ve started to wonder if it’s not so much retaliation against a loss of control as an act of quiet defiance against languishing. It’s a search for bliss in a bleak day, connection in a lonely week, or purpose in a perpetual pandemic.
An antidote to languishing
So what can we do about it? A concept called “flow” may be an antidote to languishing. Flow is that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away. During the early days of the pandemic, the best predictor of well-being wasn’t optimism or mindfulness — it was flow. People who became more immersed in their projects managed to avoid languishing and maintained their prepandemic happiness.
An early-morning word game catapults me into flow. A late-night Netflix binge sometimes does the trick too — it transports you into a story where you feel attached to the characters and concerned for their welfare.
While finding new challenges, enjoyable experiences and meaningful work are all possible remedies to languishing, it’s hard to find flow when you can’t focus. This was a problem long before the pandemic, when people were habitually checking email 74 times a day and switching tasks every 10 minutes. In the past year, many of us also have been struggling with interruptions from kids around the house, colleagues around the world, and bosses around the clock. Meh.
Fragmented attention is an enemy of engagement and excellence. In a group of 100 people, only two or three will even be capable of driving and memorizing information at the same time without their performance suffering on one or both tasks. Computers may be made for parallel processing, but humans are better off serial processing.
Give yourself some uninterrupted time
That means we need to set boundaries. Years ago, a Fortune 500 software company in India tested a simple policy: no interruptions Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. When engineers managed the boundary themselves, 47 percent had above-average productivity. But when the company set quiet time as official policy, 65 percent achieved above-average productivity. Getting more done wasn’t just good for performance at work: We now know that the most important factor in daily joy and motivation is a sense of progress.
I don’t think there’s anything magical about Tuesday, Thursday and Friday before noon. The lesson of this simple idea is to treat uninterrupted blocks of time as treasures to guard. It clears out constant distractions and gives us the freedom to focus. We can find solace in experiences that capture our full attention.
Focus on a small goal
The pandemic was a big loss. To transcend languishing, try starting with small wins, like the tiny triumph of figuring out a whodunit or the rush of playing a seven-letter word. One of the clearest paths to flow is a just-manageable difficulty: a challenge that stretches your skills and heightens your resolve. That means carving out daily time to focus on a challenge that matters to you — an interesting project, a worthwhile goal, a meaningful conversation. Sometimes it’s a small step toward rediscovering some of the energy and enthusiasm that you’ve missed during all these months.
Languishing is not merely in our heads — it’s in our circumstances. You can’t heal a sick culture with personal bandages. We still live in a world that normalizes physical health challenges but stigmatizes mental health challenges. As we head into a new post-pandemic reality, it’s time to rethink our understanding of mental health and well-being. “Not depressed” doesn’t mean you’re not struggling. “Not burned out” doesn’t mean you’re fired up. By acknowledging that so many of us are languishing, we can start giving voice to quiet despair and lighting a path out of the void.
Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist at Wharton, the author of “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know” and the host of the TED podcast WorkLife.
-
@voodoo chur bro - this hits the nail on the head for me - alongside that guilt that many of us have expressed when things are hard but we know others have it far tougher.
Question... how the F do you manage uninterupted time with kids and manic mahi!!? I reckon I'm good to carve out a solid 15min block, but anything of actual substance is a pipe dream....
Hmmm pipe dreams! maybe that's the answer
-
@paekakboyz said in Lockdown Check In:
@voodoo chur bro - this hits the nail on the head for me - alongside that guilt that many of us have expressed when things are hard but we know others have it far tougher.
Question... how the F do you manage uninterupted time with kids and manic mahi!!? I reckon I'm good to carve out a solid 15min block, but anything of actual substance is a pipe dream....
Hmmm pipe dreams! maybe that's the answer
uninterrupted time on my own or with then missus? The former I can do late at night, I usually get an hour to myself - but the missus is usually in bed before the kids so thats harder
-
@paekakboyz I could only dream of uninterrupted time in the office!
I can get uninterrupted time at home, alone, with the wife, not as much as I'd like, but I can still hear TR Jnr playing whatever PS4 game he does from all over our section!!
Ha as I sit hearing yawning away, while I still know I am not my usual self, I am alot better than I was last week.
Interestingly enough, I was thinking it may have been a new pre-workout I had been taking the past few weeks, so bailed on it this week to see if that has any effects...probably just a placebo effect anyway, but oh well
-
@voodoo ha ha either would be good. For our sins we have two wee night owls (just like us, dammit!) and with Mrs PB being a teacher her 'free' time after the kids are asleep is tied up with planning and marking. Midnight is an early night in our household at the moment and we know that ain't great.
Still lots of fun and we are super solid which is really (really) good. But I just don't have any decompression time and feel really shit when I know I'm being a grumpus with the kids.
One thing that has definitely helped was cutting way back on social media. With the Instagram changes I'm increasingly thinking about cutting that too. -
@paekakboyz I only use IG for workout ideas and looking at hotties...
-
Hey you lot. Hope you guys are all doing well and life is treating you kindly. I wanted to check in with you all before I back off again. This isn't a Baron goodbye or anything as exciting as that but if you don't usually read my posts then don't bother with this one either as it's probably going to be far too girly for you. And maybe I'm over sharing yet again but it is what it is, a needed vent maybe.
Life really hasn't been great lately, pretty much a roller-coaster, all self inflicted to be honest. I've shared before (like a few of you) that I've had relationship problems throughout the last few years, covid times especially, and well my husband majorly objected to my use of the fern when he discovered it on my laptop one day.. I can't really blame him, some of my comments have been risqué, inappropriate, flirty etc but I guess mainly he was pissed off that I was no longer ME with him yet it was easy for me to be myself on here and with other people in my life, work mates, friends etc. I own that, take full responsibility for my behaviour. The fern of course isn't the only problem we had but it was a pretty explosive one recently and I guess him seeing my comments didn't help. I've made the mistake of enabling yet more possessive behaviour by backing off the fern,believing it would make things better. No brainer.
It's not a biggie but it is sad, the fern has been a guilty pleasure since I was a youth (remember when I was a "fat balding 40 year old man to all" ? ) and something I've kept completely secret because.. well I don't think any of my friends or family would believe I'm a member of a Rugby forum and it's a bit embarrassing, no disrespect intended! I do wonder how many of you share your ferning habit with other people? But my inner fat-balding-must be nearing 60 year old-man claims this is one of his happy spaces. And he's right, In all honesty I've used the fern in most of the shittest times in my life, when I first joined as a teen for example and I've left and returned numerous times usually when I've needed the distraction from whatever's going on around me and at some point it became a daily habit again just like Facebook is for some.
I've had great advice, learned a lot of random and useless information, yet strangely can't recall anything about star wars and still haven't watched them.. Most of all found serious belly laughs any time of day or night when I've needed it. Thanks Memes thread.
You (all) really are like a ray of sunshine most of the time, but even when you are having your hissy fits over refs or certain players it still makes me smile. I suppose that's why I got a bit angsty at Tim's stroppy comments before my break ( a lot of you were being stroppy actually, me included and Tim I have nothing against you, you probably have your own reasons). I know the fern doesn't belong to me but it has been a place I've enjoyed a huge amount and majority of the time people are actually kind to eachother on here. Some of the GOM, life changes, parenting threads have shown you are all a decent bunch. We are all human too, we have our lives going on and stresses that the majority don't share, you never know what your words might do to someone, I hope I've never upset anyone and I'm sincerely sorry if I have. In the early days I used talk to many of you privately, I don't anymore but the couple I did speak to - I've valued your friendship as much as some of my day to day life friends.I didn't really think this pandemic, the lockdowns and restrictions had effected me much because I've been lucky enough to stay healthy, work throughout, keep pretty connected to friends and family, for that I know I'm incredibly blessed. Fucking hell I'm alive!! I know plenty have suffered more than I have so this isnt a pity party for one. I guess my relationship suffered most, it made me realise flaws instead of ignoring them and I guess too many to fix. I've been too proud to talk to friends and family about a lot of it, anything really, I've always been the one to help others, so maybe thats why I've overshared here so much, it's in my nature to bottle up and get on usually . I've also had friendships end recently and I now know I need to build up my support network again as much as the thought of letting people help me goes against my grain. I opened up to a member of my family the other day and he checked in on me today, an older wiser guy and I wished I'd done it sooner, its hard to be vulnerable though ay! I don't like to be a burden on others.
Anyway, I will sort myself out, I know I'll be OK I always am, definitely like a cat with 9 lives, guess today is the day it's all clicked into place again, maybe that's why I'm journalling here (again Tim "this isn't anyone's journal" 😂❤️) I just really want to say to anyone going through stuff too, probably don't rely on a rugby forum to distract you completely and hope things will just get better, use it though if you don't have other options, there's some pretty supportive people here, god just look how long you've all stuck around.
Sorry to spew up a bunch of female hormones all over the usual grumpiness, I'm just thankful for the distractions you've all given me guys!
-
@r-l all the best to you RL.
Keep safe, keep well and keep yourself happy.