-
Yeah, one of the best things about hospital birth is that as the Dad, you get to piss off home each night for a good sleep.
Either that or what I did, and head to the pub to wet the babies head .... Nothing like first night at home with a newborn on a stinking hangover!
-
@majorrage ha I was given a mattress for the floor or the lazy boy in the corner...
-
@TeWaio fair enough mate. For my wife, she was rushed into emergency surgery and was in there for hours while I waited with the baby before she even got to hold him. I hate to think what would have happened if we were at home, but appreciate this is probably a rate scenario. After that there was no way in hell we were contemplating a home birth.
-
@no-quarter after Miss TR was born, Mrs TR was still under GA, so they took me and Miss off to SKBU, and when Mrs TR came round she was like did you make sure they had the right baby...sometimes wonder nowadays
-
@taniwharugby Forgive my ignorance, whatβs SKBU?
-
@majorrage said in Home Births etc:
There is no way I would have done anything else other than planned c-section with my wife for a variety of reasons which I won't go into.
I can guess one.
-
Interesting thread chaps. I'm in absolute shock that some women stay in hospital for 10days,even 5! Where was this @gt12 ? That's just wonderful care. Very impressed.
As for my birth story I won't go into details but wouldn't have been able to have my girly at home,was in 3days prior to actual delivery then I was out 12hrs later in all that babylove glow and excitement, only to then be rushed back in delirious with infection 24hrs later, I weighed less 2weeks later than I had before I was pregnant.
Wasn't the best start for my little family, I would have loved 10days with support!! What pisses me off majorly is how midwives and some women in general etc say "oh you'll forget all about it by the time you have your next one". Nah, no next one thanks!! Put me off for life. Seriously, I wouldn't put my body through that again.
As for home births, huge amount of home births in the UK during Lockdown so Mums could have whoever they wanted at the birth as opposed to one partner at the last minute in hospital and some really lovely stories from my friends about how nice it was to be in their own home. We are also really lucky to have an excellent ambulance service in the West Midlands for when the midwives need to get Mum into hospital. My experience of midwives is actually rather positive too to be honest.
I think most of us women would be in agreement that it's tough on you Dads feeling helpless on the sidelines too.
-
@r-l
We were living in Tokyo at that time and they did a bang up job of taking care of my wife, then helping her to understand how to change a baby, start breastfeeding (with formula as well as my boy was a greedy huge little fucker), and do baths, etc. Plus, she was fucked and in shock as her life had just changed so at least two nights during that time they let her sleep through and took care of the boy. I honestly can't say enough about the level of care you get at Japanese hospitals (but I've been saved by them, so I'm biased).
-
@gt12 that's just amazing, all we had was an hour long group "preparation" class where the leader talked about birthing options and different drugs etc which I wasn't interested in to be honest as I already knew from my own research, you can try and plan the labour all you want but that baby will call the shots. The whole "how to look after a baby" I think is left to the parents and family, no one ever told me what to do? Seriously can't get my head around that level of care, I was lucky to have family and friends to ring and say "what the hell does this colour poo mean?" "why won't my child burp?" etc
That's another pissy off phrase "you'll just know how to be a mother" I have friends that really struggled and didn't bond as they expected they would, it comes more naturally to some. Also women and men should shut their mouths around pregnant women, the amount of opinions and horror stories I didnt need to hear.
Big confession that I'm not particularly ashamed to admit, I never thought I'd want to be a mum, just couldn't see it, but it became something I was less opposed to and in all honesty I did take to it like a duck to water and it brought out all this "maternal" side to me, still don't particularly like other people's kids much but I love mine, she's the best. π -
@r-l
Usually in Japan, the wife goes home for a month to learn from her Mum about how to take care of a baby. We flew my mother over (as my wife's Mum is dead) and she helped out heaps, but we were already on a good path as the hospital staff had set up the boy to be fed, sleep etc.
It's a a personal opinion of course, but I think that over-investing in health-care is not the worst outcome in the world. It might not be 100% efficient but since those decisions are almost always based on a disputed CBA analysis, I think falling on the better for little humans side is the way to go.
-
@gt12 said in Home Births etc:
@r-l
Usually in Japan, the wife goes home for a month to learn from her Mum about how to take care of a baby. We flew my mother over (as my wife's Mum is dead) and she helped out heaps, but we were already on a good path as the hospital staff had set up the boy to be fed, sleep etc.
It's a a personal opinion of course, but I think that over-investing in health-care is not the worst outcome in the world. It might not be 100% efficient but since those decisions are almost always based on a disputed CBA analysis, I think falling on the better for little humans side is the way to go.
Totally agree re over investing in health care. But reality is that only works out economically when you have a very healthy population, which Japan does. That means it doesn't work out in pretty much so every western country.
-
@mariner4life said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
@kirwan said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
@no-quarter said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
@kirwan said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
@donsteppa said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
@gt12 said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
@canefan said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
@donsteppa said in Coronavirus - New Zealand:
The reforms of the early to mid 90's brought down the average nights stayed in hospital significantly for various situations... for better or worse...
I vaguely recall a stat that new mothers used to stay in hospital an average seven nights after giving birth, until the Crown Health Enterprise reforms of the hospitals, which was eventually down to 1-2 nights.
That stat is about right. In fact for a routine birth they encourage you to leave immediately and head to another facility like birthcare
Which is a fucking incredibly good example of how little NZ government/bureacracy gives a fuck about actual people. My wife had about 10 days in hospital following her C-section (it's about 5 for a regular birth) and they taught her how to be a mother, how to feed, change, deal with screaming etc. etc.
Seems to have gone down the midwife at home model for post-birth support. Someone I know from school has been very active in the 'childbirth is not a medical event' movement (or whatever they call it) in recent years in staunch support of home births.
People have forgotten how dangerous childbirth can be for the mother or the child. You don't have time to fuck around when the cord is wrapped around a kids neck (which happened to us).
If we were home, and had to wait for an ambulance, get to hospital, get a surgeon, emergency c-section, my daughter would have died or suffered significant brain damage.
Being in hospital for child birth is a good thing.
I'm still traumatised by that experience and I was in the hospital (at 3am, wife unconscious and with me with the baby). And I was in Lower Hutt!
I won't go into details but my wife would have died if we weren't in hospital for our first son. Home births are a fucking idiotic risk to take.
And mothers are put under huge pressure to have them. I had to watch a midwife arguing with a doctor in front of my wife for the first kid. I just talked over them both and said what I wanted to have happen (doctor lead birth). Didn't make a new friend.
look, while i respect a lot about what they do
i have no time for midwives after the breastfeeding bullshit we were put through with our first. And stories like this seem to suggest the entire profession has been taken over by a particular ideology, and that trumps the actual people involved.
Oh yeah - we had real trouble here, wife had trouble with her milk coming in and the entire experience just made her feel like a failure of a mother over something she had no control over. In the end a Plunket nurse just whispered to her "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but just give the baby formula".
And magically problem solved...
And also having a baby on formula meant I could actually spend some time with the little nipper, wife would go to bed at a reasonable hour and I would stay up and do the late night feed. Wife would get a good sleep and I could actually spend some time bonding with the baby and actually helping out instead of the wife having to bear it all.
I truly do not have a bad thing to say about putting a baby on formula, especially in our case when the wife milk just wasn't happening. So much better than seeing so called "experts" who do nothing but waste your time and achieve (&$^# all aside from making your wife feel horrible.
So honestly (&%^ them all - aside from that lovely Plunket nurse
Home Births etc