Worst Christmas Present
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I once received a grass sheep in a Secret Santa - a piece of cardboard with grass seeds embedded and arranged in the shape of a sheep.
Use it to light the log-burner,
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@Victor-Meldrew yeah but did you try to have sex with it first? I have had a few secret Santa sheep gifted in my time in the UK because it’s no stereotype that we all at it whenever the chance arises.
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@scribe said in Worst Christmas Present:
yeah but did you try to have sex with it first?
No way. It was from a Welsh client
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Feminine hair removal kit.
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@Catogrande said in Worst Christmas Present:
Feminine hair removal kit.
Please tell me you are fucking kidding...
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This one would suck
I'm sure I have told this before, but my Mum loved Xmas. She would start buying presents at the January sales for the following Xmas. It was embarrassing. I would pick her up on Xmas Day and the presents would fill the car.
Bearing in mind there were never more than 6 people involved and the youngest was 40 it was a bit strange, but it made her happy.
The thing was - all the presents would be incredibly naff - and most of them were cheap, but she clearly had never outgrown the joy of Xmas. I figure it was down to growing up in the 30's with no money and then her Dad dying when she was 6.
Anyway when she died my bro, Dad and I decided to honour her memory by exchanging Dragon presents every Xmas. She delighted in being called The Dragon.
The rules were simple. No more than $10 and it has to respect her memory by being totally inappropriate and useless. We would vote on the winner. Extra points for needing batteries (more if they're not included), if it breaks within 30 minutes is badly wrapped etc.
As a result I have too many shit Xmas presents to list
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@scribe said in Worst Christmas Present:
@Victor-Meldrew yeah but did you try to have sex with it first? I have had a few secret Santa sheep gifted in my time in the UK because it’s no stereotype that we all at it whenever the chance arises.
Didn't realise you were Australian.
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This post is deleted!
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@dogmeat said in Worst Christmas Present:
Anyway when she died my bro, Dad and I decided to honour her memory by exchanging Dragon presents every Xmas. She delighted in being called The Dragon.The rules were simple. No more than $10 and it has to respect her memory by being totally inappropriate and useless. We would vote on the winner. Extra points for needing batteries (more if they're not included), if it breaks within 30 minutes is badly wrapped etc.
As a result I have too many shit Xmas presents to list
That's a great story and a wonderful way to keep traditions/memories alive.
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My wife's paternal grandmother was an absolute tight-arse, except when it came to playing Keno down at the local club (she'd brag she won a car in one of their raffles, but probably put $40K through the place in the meantime).
Anyway, the wife got a scratchie one year - already scratched - and the card read "sorry you didn't win".
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Worst Christmas Present:
@Catogrande said in Worst Christmas Present:
Feminine hair removal kit.
Please tell me you are fucking kidding...
Wish it was a lie. Mrs Cato has a history of shite gifts, I readily recall the Woolworths stapler as a birthday present once, but the piece de resistance for my gift was the said hair removal kit. Rationale was that as I was aging and had fathered daughters, I was getting nasally hirsute. Which was correct. What I needed though was either a nasal trimmer or a young Filipino boy. But no. I got the whole kit, with a bikini waxing element and all.
However that was not her high (low?) point. At one time one of her work mates was leaving the confines of the Halifax Building society to become a professional windsurfer in Australia. She collected the money and bought the poor fucker a shoe cleaning kit on the basis that if he failed as a windsurfer he would need another job. And what do you need in an interview? Clean shoes of course.
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@sparky said in Worst Christmas Present:
I've been given Aussie and England Rugby jersies before. Oh the hilarity!
Got given a 2003 RWC Champions jersey as a wedding present.
I laughed (haha), put it on, got the photos, then got it returned and got a beautiful wee mouseman bookshelf (https://www.robertthompsons.co.uk). We're simple people, easy to wind up... at least I got something good out of it
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@Kiwiwomble said in Worst Christmas Present:
@sparky i can barely afford rugby jerseys for myself...let alone someone else as a joke!
They used to be a lot cheaper.
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Not a bad gift as such but funny and a reflection of some serious tight-arsery. My birthday is in January so my parents, i.e. Mum, decided to kill 2 birds with 1 stone and get my Xmas and birthday presents at the same time. So she bought me golf clubs and I got the woods for Xmas and the irons for my birthday. She was completely oblivious to the fact that you actually need the full set to play the bloody game.
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When we were young, my brother, sister and I used to buy each other small gifts for Xmas. One year, my sister couldn't be assed and didn't buy anything for either of us. My brother was the vengeful type. The next three 'gifts' my sister received in successive years were a stapler, ruler, and finally the tiny rubber attached to the end of a pencil.
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@Rancid-Schnitzel ha when I got my first full set for my birthday in my teens (thanks dad) my mother had suggested to him to get me a few clubs at a time...fortunately dad being a golfer said you cant do that!