@Bovidae can hardly believe forgiving you all are. France ignominiously dumped you out of two RWCs. If my sins roll me down the Karmic wheel to AB supporter, you best believe I’d never want their sardonic, gauloise stained fingers anywhere near Bill. Scraping past them at home with an amateur angler at 10 wouldn’t nearly quench my thirst for revenge.
Give yourselves a blindside Shelford King hit to the chops, sew your sacks back up and fuck the bid rigging, ref riding, jammy snail botherers.
The Irish can also get to fuck. Uppity beggar thy neighbour Eurowindfall fuckers, they overrate their rugby players almost as much as their poets. If there’s one thing the miserable Scots might be good for its scuttling Irish hopes in the pool.
England? Fuck off. England coached by Eddie Jones? Fail to advance from the pool because of Japan’s superior discipline record seems fitting.
Welshman are awesome, but they should brag more about their poets and less about their rugby team. They can all take a nice long drink of warm Brains-rattled-by-Wiese-securing-his-lineouts-Ale.
Samoa need to pay for what they did to Chester Williams in 95. No amount of crushing Hougard in 2003 makes up for it.
Japan have had their rugby miracle. They’re welcome. You all are. But the greedy fuckers can fuck off.
A lot to admire about Argentinian rugby. Give the scrum its rightful pride of place. Hard forwards combining with skilful backs all playing with passion and an innate sense of space and timing. Who gives a shit? They’re not the boks so they can lose in the quarters 0-3 and scurry back to their polo and fincas.
In a just world the Aussies’ union is dissolved by order of the International Criminal Court for failing to deliver Nic White’s moustache up to account for his shit playacting. And for inflicting Bill Young on international scrums. But I’d settle for them never winning another World Cup.
So, if the course of history doesn’t bend to Justice next year, then the least awful alternative is the ABs. The titanic struggle for Rugby’s soul demands a Nemesis ominously powerful, snaking trophies by occult practices too awful to contemplate. Then give us a test series in 2024 to avenge 96. Doesn’t seem like much to ask, really.