This has been a great read, and thanks to all those who have shared intimate details of their life. I love these Fern threads, and I always feel like I come away with some insight after reading them.
I think I'm pretty happy at the moment. My wife and I are in a relatively small class of people who have done well out of the pandemic. We kept our jobs, we discovered flexible working (which will help us achieve our dream of moving out of Sydney), we got married (albeit without the big wedding) and now we're expecting our first child in April. There's a touch of survivors guilt about it given what others have gone through.
My wider family is doing OK, though one of my siblings lost their job and is having a tough time finding another one. My wife is going through a situation many on here are facing, with her grandparents having to now go into aged care. It's taking a big toll on her family, her mother especially, but they are getting through it. It just feels like they are flying completely blind, and I just wish they could pay someone to sort it all out for them so they can direct their energies towards supporting the rest of the family.
I sometimes can't help the feeling that my life is one big rubber band, and as each good year unfolds it stretches just that little bit more. Stretching and stretching, you know the snap is going to come at some point. The late night phone call, the sudden change in job or relationship. That fear isn't based on anything more than general anxiety, but it is there. You just have to try and enjoy the good times while they last, with the acknowledgement deep down that they won't last forever.