Often with such complicated issues it is good to break them down into a more understandable format. So here we have Brexit - the omelette problem.

LEAVER: I want an omelette.

REMAINER: Right. It’s just we haven’t got any eggs.

LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]

REMAINER: They’re in the cake.

LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.

REMAINER: But we voted in 1974 to put them into a cake.

LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.

REMAINER: Icing is good.

LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I don’t like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.

DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.

DAVID CAMERON: OK.

DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.

LEAVER: Right, where’s my omelette?

REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.

LEAVER: Well, get them out.

EU: It’s our cake.

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.

REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Don’t you know how to get them out?

LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.

REMAINER: But how?! Didn’t you give this any thought?

LEAVER: Saboteur! You’re talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so there’s no reason why we can’t make them now.

THERESA MAY: It’s OK, I can do it.

REMAINER: How?

THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.

REMAINER: Yeah, but…

LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we don’t have any cake? I didn’t say I didn’t want the cake, just the bits I don’t like.

EU: It’s our cake.

REMAINER: But you can’t take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.

LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them. It’s just that they’re horrible.

REMAINER: Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.

LEAVER: It’s not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.

REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?

LEAVER: You lost, get over it.

THERESA MAY: By the way, I’ve started the clock on this.

REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?

THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.

REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.

EU: It’s our cake.

LEAVER: Where’s my omelette? I voted for an omelette.

REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what we’re doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.

LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

REMAINER: Fine, I’m moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.

LEAVER: You can’t. We’ve taken your freedom of movement.

@Siam said in All Blacks v BI Lions Test #3:

World rugby's biggest game advertisement in the fallow years between world cups and is influenced by an insecure refereeing system but the gin swillers will be reminding themselves "controversy lasts far longer in the advertiser's eye than a pure spectacle, and think of the clicks we'll get!"

Even the perpetrator knew he was offside playing at the ball!

Still our beloved team only really have themselves to blame

Taking nothing away from the Lions who will take more pride than us over the drawn series.

It was a great series and none of us predicted it thus.

one question though:

Did it feel lucky to draw that?

honest question from an unquestionably biased kiwi

edit: The question was aimed at Lions supporters (lest I lose my arrogance)

Honest answer? Yeah we were lucky in the end. Lucky on a couple of counts, firstly in that for much of the match we were outplayed and only some uncharacteristic balls ups from NZ kept us in the game. Later on we got nearer to parity and if you're there or thereabouts with 10 minutes to go you have to feel that you have a chance of nicking the game. So lucky but dissatisfied. Secondly the non penalty. I did think is was sort of accidental at least instinctive rather than deliberate, but to me it was definitely a penalty. Whether or not Barret would have slotted the kick is another matter and if he hadn't then you lot would just have had something else to make you spew

We rode our luck over two tests and overall the better team did not win, but that's the beauty of sport. Winning great but you watch because of the uncertainty.

Gatland's legacy will go down as a two-time undefeated Lions head coach (a fact he has reminded us of a couple of times already) but in truth this time round he was very lucky. There was no cunning master plan to out-coach NZ. Fair play to him in Australia four years ago, he got that last game spot on though.

@jegga said in Add Fidel to the 2016 body count:

FFS, how is Yoko Ono is still alive?

A macrobiotic diet. She lives off dead beetles.

And don't forget the police also raided Cliff Richard's house and seized all his computers. Everyone's worst fears were confirmed when they found he'd been making new music.

Nice quote from David Warner following Faf Du Plessis ball tampering of a couple of years back.

"We hold our heads high and I'd be very disappointed if one of our team members did that.

"The rules are in place for a reason. If you're not going to use them why bother having them?

"If you're going to overstep the mark, be prepared to get fined and miss Test matches."

@mariner4life said in Coronavirus - Media Discussion:

I'm fucking done with listening to the opinions of people who have heard or read the same as me

Well your time on the Fern had to end one day.

Well, I watched the game at home and was amazed at the England performance. I thought we had a chance but... Even though we were pretty dominant more or less throughout the game and it was ours to lose almost, there was always in the back of my mind that you just cannot trust a Kiwi to know when to say enough is enough. Having said that I felt reasonably comfortable with four minutes to go and two scores needed but even then... hmmm.

I didn't watch it at the pub as a 9.00 am kick off would have meant ruining the rest of the day but at around 11.40 I got a call from a mate. "I'm down at the Royal Oak and I need someone to talk rugby to. I can't go home and talk to her". So the rest of the day has been washout really. No complaints though.

Thanks to all who have posted congratulations and compliments on our performance. That takes a bit of doing, especially after the success you've had.

No where's that bottle of red?

@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:

@rocky-rockbottom said in Re: Movie review thread...:

The Living Daylights (1987)

"Timothy Dalton" "TIMOTHY DALTON"? Who the fuck is this weasel-eyed fluffybunny? This wooden wiener is about as suave as goddamn cock cancer. Compared to his illustrious predecessors, messrs Connery and Moore, he looks like he bought his clothes in the fucking supermarket.

"Timothy Dalton". May as well be Tomoko fucken Dildostein for all he's got to do with my Bond franchise. HowTF did he even pass the screen test? His dad must be the goddamn director.

Did the dishes. Read up on the footy. Basically stalled until this bland Where's Wally twat got OFF my telly.

I enjoyed this one. It was a bit 'dark'. Pretty certain a few people who knew Fleming said he said Dalton was his personal favourite Bond.

Necros was one of the coolest henchmen too, better than that homo Dario from LTK

Doubtful seeing as he died 23 years before The Living daylights was made.

@Hooroo said in The Time Has Come To Log In:

@erps You're not an ex-St Pauls lad are you?

If so, I think it was you that told me to check out the fern when discussing rugby at a party in London!

We're not in a blame culture here you know. Own your own mistakes.

@DMX Interesting your view on the Barret v Mo'unga discussion. I've never felt that Barrett was a fantastic fly half - and I realise that this may lead to me being virtual lynched on here, but to me he does not seem to fit too well for some of the key duties of a 10. His kicking game is a bit off, his game management is not up there with the likes of say Carter, BUT he is without doubt a fantastic, almost freakish, rugby player and has to play. I can see the argument for having him at 10 as he is so good that you want to get the ball to him as often and as quickly as possible, but I think I agree with you that the extra space he gets at 15 is perhaps more suited and allied to that, you have a bloody good 10 in Mo'unga to bring a little more control to the game.

A very nice problem to have.

Off to dig a trench and search for my tin hat...

Reporting the factual news is now racist and offensive.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-53657013

@MN5 said in Parenting:

@R-L said in Parenting:

@No-Quarter I'm dreading the day we no longer have Santa. A couple of weeks ago we had some work done on our chimney, some sort of thing that goes on the top of the pots needed replacing and she was very interested in what was going on (because the only reason chimneys exist is for a certain someone). The guy that did it was brilliant he was telling her that he's checking the chimneys for Santa and will let him know she's being good.

Fuck Santa. He never existed in my house. I’m not having some fat prick take credit for presents I bought.

Yeah. He decides who's good or bad? Fat judgemental fluffybunny.

@voodoo said in The Folau Factor:

@Catogrande said in The Folau Factor:

@MajorRage said in The Folau Factor:

@Victor-Meldrew said in The Folau Factor:

Fitzsimmons' point appears to be that while Foolu is perfectly entitled to make his own choices, if those decisions aren't in line with his view, it takes his breath away..

Poor little flower.

I wonder if I need to do some inner soul seeking here for myself. As I was extremely critical on him for his religious based twaddle, but I support him in not taking a knee.

Am I consistent or is Fitz?

I think that you're being consistent, after all they are a little different. On the one hand he was being openly critical of swathes of people in spouting his twaddle and on the other hand he does not want to take a political and has used his religious beliefs to back this up. In not taking a knee he is not telling anyone what they should or should not do. I'm fine with that.

I'm on board with all of that, except for the part where he has "allegedly" used his religious beliefs as the reason. Only because I haven't seen how his beliefs prevent this. I would be totally fine with him not kneeling and not giving a reason at all however. It just seems like the religion part is a cop out.

I can understand that view but for me it seems more likely that "the excuse" is more of a reflection on being criticised as being racist/ignorant/uneducated/insert insult here for not taking the knee.

@MajorRage said in The Folau Factor:

@Victor-Meldrew said in The Folau Factor:

Fitzsimmons' point appears to be that while Foolu is perfectly entitled to make his own choices, if those decisions aren't in line with his view, it takes his breath away..

Poor little flower.

I wonder if I need to do some inner soul seeking here for myself. As I was extremely critical on him for his religious based twaddle, but I support him in not taking a knee.

Am I consistent or is Fitz?

I think that you're being consistent, after all they are a little different. On the one hand he was being openly critical of swathes of people in spouting his twaddle and on the other hand he does not want to take a political and has used his religious beliefs to back this up. In not taking a knee he is not telling anyone what they should or should not do. I'm fine with that.

@voodoo said in The Folau Factor:

@Bones no doubt. But withough anything explicit, the evidence appears to leads us back to Folau being an attention seeking twat

Whilst this is possible, probable even it does seem to me that he’s getting grief for not making an attention seeking political statement. Or Does he get the grief just because he was the only one not to go down the virtue signalling route?

Could someone with more patience and fortitude than me scan through pre match team pictures to see if Folau knelt in any of them?

@Crucial Ours has mostly got through the teenage times, still has his moments though. He’s getting more social interaction with other dogs now which has calmed him down a fair bit.

@Crucial said in Dogs and bitches:

@Catogrande said in Dogs and bitches:

@Crucial

Finally got a couple of photos of our mutt...

Looking good.

Mine is having some time running with the working dogs to let them put him in his place.
Going through a teenage phase at the moment and choosing when he wants to listen.

The training with the working dogs sounds interesting, let me know how it goes will you?

@Crucial

Finally got a couple of photos of our mutt...

@Victor-Meldrew said in British Politics:

@Catogrande said in British Politics:

Farage making his point but it is much wider than just illegals.

A lot of London councils were caught buying flats and houses in cheaper parts of the country and using them for social housing a few years back and letting the tenant's new council pick up tab for social care etc.

Was called social dumping - not sure if it's still going on.

There’s a new “town” outside Exeter called Cranbrook. It is known locally as Crimebrook. It was built with the requisite amount of affordable housing but then of course you have to fill those houses. Luckily we were offered many deserving people from large metropolitan areas.