Often with such complicated issues it is good to break them down into a more understandable format. So here we have Brexit - the omelette problem.

LEAVER: I want an omelette.

REMAINER: Right. It’s just we haven’t got any eggs.

LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]

REMAINER: They’re in the cake.

LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.

REMAINER: But we voted in 1974 to put them into a cake.

LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.

REMAINER: Icing is good.

LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I don’t like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.

DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.

DAVID CAMERON: OK.

DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.

LEAVER: Right, where’s my omelette?

REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.

LEAVER: Well, get them out.

EU: It’s our cake.

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.

REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Don’t you know how to get them out?

LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.

REMAINER: But how?! Didn’t you give this any thought?

LEAVER: Saboteur! You’re talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so there’s no reason why we can’t make them now.

THERESA MAY: It’s OK, I can do it.

REMAINER: How?

THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.

REMAINER: Yeah, but…

LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we don’t have any cake? I didn’t say I didn’t want the cake, just the bits I don’t like.

EU: It’s our cake.

REMAINER: But you can’t take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.

LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them. It’s just that they’re horrible.

REMAINER: Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.

LEAVER: It’s not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.

REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?

LEAVER: You lost, get over it.

THERESA MAY: By the way, I’ve started the clock on this.

REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?

THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.

REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.

EU: It’s our cake.

LEAVER: Where’s my omelette? I voted for an omelette.

REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what we’re doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.

LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

REMAINER: Fine, I’m moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.

LEAVER: You can’t. We’ve taken your freedom of movement.

@Siam said in All Blacks v BI Lions Test #3:

World rugby's biggest game advertisement in the fallow years between world cups and is influenced by an insecure refereeing system but the gin swillers will be reminding themselves "controversy lasts far longer in the advertiser's eye than a pure spectacle, and think of the clicks we'll get!"

Even the perpetrator knew he was offside playing at the ball!

Still our beloved team only really have themselves to blame

Taking nothing away from the Lions who will take more pride than us over the drawn series.

It was a great series and none of us predicted it thus.

one question though:

Did it feel lucky to draw that?

honest question from an unquestionably biased kiwi

edit: The question was aimed at Lions supporters (lest I lose my arrogance)

Honest answer? Yeah we were lucky in the end. Lucky on a couple of counts, firstly in that for much of the match we were outplayed and only some uncharacteristic balls ups from NZ kept us in the game. Later on we got nearer to parity and if you're there or thereabouts with 10 minutes to go you have to feel that you have a chance of nicking the game. So lucky but dissatisfied. Secondly the non penalty. I did think is was sort of accidental at least instinctive rather than deliberate, but to me it was definitely a penalty. Whether or not Barret would have slotted the kick is another matter and if he hadn't then you lot would just have had something else to make you spew

We rode our luck over two tests and overall the better team did not win, but that's the beauty of sport. Winning great but you watch because of the uncertainty.

Gatland's legacy will go down as a two-time undefeated Lions head coach (a fact he has reminded us of a couple of times already) but in truth this time round he was very lucky. There was no cunning master plan to out-coach NZ. Fair play to him in Australia four years ago, he got that last game spot on though.

@jegga said in Add Fidel to the 2016 body count:

FFS, how is Yoko Ono is still alive?

A macrobiotic diet. She lives off dead beetles.

And don't forget the police also raided Cliff Richard's house and seized all his computers. Everyone's worst fears were confirmed when they found he'd been making new music.

Nice quote from David Warner following Faf Du Plessis ball tampering of a couple of years back.

"We hold our heads high and I'd be very disappointed if one of our team members did that.

"The rules are in place for a reason. If you're not going to use them why bother having them?

"If you're going to overstep the mark, be prepared to get fined and miss Test matches."

@mariner4life said in Coronavirus - Media Discussion:

I'm fucking done with listening to the opinions of people who have heard or read the same as me

Well your time on the Fern had to end one day.

Well, I watched the game at home and was amazed at the England performance. I thought we had a chance but... Even though we were pretty dominant more or less throughout the game and it was ours to lose almost, there was always in the back of my mind that you just cannot trust a Kiwi to know when to say enough is enough. Having said that I felt reasonably comfortable with four minutes to go and two scores needed but even then... hmmm.

I didn't watch it at the pub as a 9.00 am kick off would have meant ruining the rest of the day but at around 11.40 I got a call from a mate. "I'm down at the Royal Oak and I need someone to talk rugby to. I can't go home and talk to her". So the rest of the day has been washout really. No complaints though.

Thanks to all who have posted congratulations and compliments on our performance. That takes a bit of doing, especially after the success you've had.

No where's that bottle of red?

@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:

@rocky-rockbottom said in Re: Movie review thread...:

The Living Daylights (1987)

"Timothy Dalton" "TIMOTHY DALTON"? Who the fuck is this weasel-eyed fluffybunny? This wooden wiener is about as suave as goddamn cock cancer. Compared to his illustrious predecessors, messrs Connery and Moore, he looks like he bought his clothes in the fucking supermarket.

"Timothy Dalton". May as well be Tomoko fucken Dildostein for all he's got to do with my Bond franchise. HowTF did he even pass the screen test? His dad must be the goddamn director.

Did the dishes. Read up on the footy. Basically stalled until this bland Where's Wally twat got OFF my telly.

I enjoyed this one. It was a bit 'dark'. Pretty certain a few people who knew Fleming said he said Dalton was his personal favourite Bond.

Necros was one of the coolest henchmen too, better than that homo Dario from LTK

Doubtful seeing as he died 23 years before The Living daylights was made.

@Hooroo said in The Time Has Come To Log In:

@erps You're not an ex-St Pauls lad are you?

If so, I think it was you that told me to check out the fern when discussing rugby at a party in London!

We're not in a blame culture here you know. Own your own mistakes.

@cgrant said in NH International Rugby:

I expect the Welsh backrow to dominate its English counterpart. Vunipola is out of form, while Wilson is not a bad player, but far from world class.

I fear you are right. On current form they are, man for man, better than our guys and they compliment each other very well. I do not see our back row playing a a unit currently.

@pakman said in British Politics:

@victor-meldrew said in British Politics:

@catogrande said in British Politics:

The 98% effective income tax rate was during the mid to late 1970s when Labour were in power.

The top rate of tax was 83% and there was a 15% "Investment income surcharge" on top of that.

Funnily enough, UK industry suffered from major underinvestment at the time - can't think why.

Against that I think one’s butler, housekeeper, chauffeur, nanny, etc. were fully deductible!

From memory not the nanny. Something to do with non-specific additional services.

Maybe that was just in the Cato household though.

@victor-meldrew @MajorRage

Owen Jones could do with reading a book himself. Effective rate of income tax during the war peaked at 99.25% not 98%. The 98% effective income tax rate was during the mid to late 1970s when Labour were in power.

Aside from his inaccuracies, I am not sure what point he was trying to make.

He is a complete wankstain.

@majorrage said in British Politics:

@catogrande said in British Politics:

@majorrage I think the quirk here is that the possible reduction in allowances etc hits the lower paid disproportionately.

I'm still waiting for Farage to ask what happens to (European) immigrants receiving Furlough who then leave the country the second Furlough ends ...

Everything always disproportionately affects the lower income. As far as the looney Labour left (not all Labour) is concerned there are two incomes in this country. 1. Minimum wage. 2. Billionaires.

There are some taxes that don't disproportionately hit the lower paid. CGT (usually), higher rate income tax, loss of HRT relief on pension contributions. The problem though is two fold. Firstly due to the smaller number of people involved the amount raised is not as significant. Secondly, avoidance. Is it worth all the costs and effort to avoid paying 40% income tax? Probably not 50%? 60%? Well that's a different story, plus of course you are talking about people who can afford to pay for rigorous planning.

Agree with the binary viewpoint and also see the hypocrisy in their own financial positions. Which of the two are they?

@pakman PM trying to gain access to his golf club. "But I'm a Country Member". Doorman. "Yes, I remember".

@majorrage I think the quirk here is that the possible reduction in allowances etc hits the lower paid disproportionately.

@donsteppa Interesting also that two out of the top three are part timers.

@rapido Yeah, I think you’re right about England’s selection and if I’m honest with myself, I did worry a little about the bowling line up from the get go.

Not sure you’re so spot on about pitch reporting though. If enough wickets fall in a day a pitch is automatically reported though that in itself doesn’t mean much. The investigation and result of the report is the thing.

@majorrage India are without doubt the better team and beforehand I would have just hoped for some degree of competitiveness. maybe England spanking India in the first test has had a knock on effect? Dunno but if this game had been played in the County Championship, the pitch would have been reported to the E&WCB.

I think if you have the will power to trawl through this thread, it was even suggested after India had levelled the series that this was a likelihood.

@act-crusader said in World Test Championship:

@majorrage said in World Test Championship:

Absolute joke. India cruise to the 49 runs without loss and with only one decent shout.

Credibilty around spin bowling statistics is destroyed with these pitches. Absolutely no excuse for a game not going at least 2.5 days. BCCI should face serious sanctions.

But we know they won't.

I’m not here to defend the BCCI but many of the England dismissals in both innings, guys were beaten by misreading the flight of the ball. Nothing remarkable or controversial there. Patel had the ball spinning like crazy before it even touched the pitch.

But add in India bowled out for 140 odd?