This from a South African forum I read -

This morning at the post office, while I was in line, two people with masks entered."

TOTAL PANIC!

Then they said: "This is a robbery"...and we all calmed down...

From Fox sports Au.

Winterfell XV Player Ratings

1. Samwell Tarly — 2.0

Forgettable performance from a guy who talked a big game in the lead-up to match day. Openly bragged about being ‘the first bloke to kill a whitewalker’ last week, then went to mud in the warm-up. Much more expected from the big loosehead assuming he gets a start in coming rounds.

2. Tyrion Lannister — 1.0

Went against team code by getting hammered on cheap wine the night before the game. Hangover showed as he was rendered impotent against a more physical and hungrier outfit. Unable to offer up his customary niggle and stirring speeches on account of being too busy sweet talking Sansa. A bad look in every way for a player trying to work his way back into form. Massive improvement required.

3. Lord Varys — 0.5

Where do we start with the 125kg eunuch? Only kept on the park by the coaching team in the hope he’d deliver a touch of brilliance in the closing stages. Offered nothing in attack and could only huddle in defence. Looks certain to be dropped after this woeful effort.

4. The Hound — 5.0

Was late to the frontline of battle and it showed. Appeared distracted at times and went completely missing for a large part of the second half. Redeemed himself by doing an exceptional job of babysitting his flyhalf to help set up the match-winning drop goal.

5. Brienne of Tarth — 9.0

Crushed multiple wights with a willingness to mix it up at maul time. Continues to win new fans with her abrasive approach and will be one of the first picked for their next fight. Also saved the one-armed man’s life, will be popular on Mad Monday.

6. Theon Greyjoy — 9.0

Five-star performance from a guy looking to redeem himself under the guidance of Coach Stark. Dropped countless wights with a bow and arrow, then took to the advancing horde with a spear. Ordinarily a performance like this would gain Theon a spot in the starting team for life. Shame he’s dead, killed with his own spear. Irony for the Ironborn.

7. Grey Worm — 8.0

Since entering the Winterfell XV Pathway Program, Grey Worm has been ultra-disciplined and always looked likely to provide the sort of output to win a big one. Clutch in every way, Mr Worm led his side over the ball and was a menace in the scrap.

8. Tormund Giantsbane — 7.0

Carried strong, ever reliable red-head went hard again . Simple man with a simple game plan.

9. Lyanna Mormont — 9.0

Lady Mormont has excelled at Scrumhalf. Despite battling a crushed rib cage and dislocated spine, Lyanna still found a way to drop the biggest bloke on the park. Sadly, this will be her final game in the Winterfell XV after being unable to overcome the aforementioned injuries. She also fell 60 feet. Bear Island Rugby Club in particular will be rocked.

10. Arya Stark — 10.0

At times, a one-woman demolition crew. Has always promised a flawless 82 minute performance and on her home track, was a cut above. Put a marker down early in the match by icing double-digit wights and she never looked back. Won the game following a half-time rev up from Melisandre. Total perfection from the assassin.

11. Jamie Lannister — 7.5

Hung tough with his one working arm. Like Theon, was chasing redemption. Unlike Theon, Jamie will be back again next week.

12. Jon Snow — 4.0

Didn’t adapt to the conditions, went looking for dominance late but never really figured.

13. Melisandre — 8.5

Surprise packet in this must-win match up. Late inclusion in the starting team and made a statement early by turning normal swords into flaming ones. Result was minimal as everybody carrying one was ripped limb from limb, but her play added much needed spark. Also provided visionary chat to MVP Arya before collapsing in a heap out the front. Big loss.

14. Daenerys Targaryen — 5.0

Struggled to get into the game. Only highlight was burning a bunch of the undead with her dragons. Lucky to get through the full 82 and needs a big week at training.

15. Sir Jorah — 8.5

Played until the final whistle, making it back to back golden performances from the love-struck swordsman. Another to have played their final game for this improving outfit.

Coach: Bran Stark — 5.0

Checked out of the battle for a long while, only returning to tell Theon he was a good man. Sat emotionless as sister Arya plunged her Valeryian Steel dagger into the Night King’s midriff, preventing the end of the world in the process. Had a hand in the game plan and was happy to be bait. Winning is a habit and Bran will be better for it when they hit King’s Landing.

Gotta love a showboating number ten. He scored anyway though!

From BBC Scrum V twitter -
Is that a new centre for Wales?
No no, Bryn Gatland has been training with the team this morning!

It must be 'bring your child to work day'.

Wishing him all strength in his battle and a full recovery.

Benetton Rugby number eight Nasi Manu is set to begin a cycle of chemotherapy in the coming days, the PRO14 outfit announced on Wednesday.

The news was confirmed after the ex-Highlanders back-row went for tests on Tuesday.

Benetton said that Tonga international forward Manu, 30, had an operation at a Treviso hospital on August 30 to remove an abnormal growth. However, he now requires the chemotherapy sessions.

As well as Benetton and the Highlanders, Manu has enjoyed playing stints with Canterbury, the Crusaders and Edinburgh.

Sports commentators resorting to calling everyday life due to having nothing else to do -

@Stargazer I find it hard to equate 3 weeks for repeatedly punching the head of a player pinned to the ground with Telea's four weeks for what was basically an accident of timing.

A genuine legend and one of the greats -
Former Wallabies flanker George Smith has retired from rugby, ending a career notable for its quality and longevity.
One of the great Australian rugby careers is finally over after George Smith announced his retirement following 20 years of yeoman service.

Smith’s short-term contract with English club Bristol finished over the weekend, leaving the 38-year-old to announce he would end a professional tenure that had encompassed half his life, beginning as a dreadlocked teenager with the Brumbies in 2000.

Thought this was cool -
Faf de Klerk having a picture taken with his hero

Mark Telea with 21 more defenders beaten than the next best player in the comp.

Connacht have announced the signing Bay of Plenty number eight Abraham Papali’i ahead of next season.
New Zealander Papali’i arrives from Bay of Plenty where he was a key member of the squad that won the Mitre 10 Cup Championship last year. The Auckland-born duel code player started his rugby union career with North Harbour before being recruited into the New Zealand Warriors (rugby league) pathway. In 2015 Papali’i signed a two-year contract with the Sydney Roosters of the Australian National Rugby League.

Following his time with the Roosters, Papali’i joined Lézignan Sangliers in the premier French Rugby League competition before the 6’4″ number eight returned to New Zealand and successfully restarted his rugby union career with Bay of Plenty.

“I am delighted to welcome Abraham to Connacht Rugby,” he said.
“Abraham is a powerful number eight who has all the attributes to become a really valuable player for us while furthering our options in the back-row. I know every Connacht supporter will be excited to see what he can offer.”

Full replays of the first two rounds here (until they get taken down by copywrite?) -
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0ou2TJg3Ad00j9Sws0ZNxw/featured

 Auckland Premier first round results. 
     Te Papapa:      3  vs  80 	Marist: 
Eden: 	24  vs  18   Grammar TEC: 
Waitemata:     17  vs  13     Papatoetoe: s
Otahuhu 	6  vs  44       Pakuranga: 
Suburbs: 	20  vs  20	Manukau: 
East Tamaki: 	6  vs  59     College Rifles: 
Ponsonby:     48  vs  16	  University:

Gallagher Chiefs:

1. Aidan Ross (31)
2. Samisoni Taukei’aho (28)
3. Nepo Laulala (33)
4. Mitchell Brown (38)
5. Tupou Vaa’i**
6. Luke Jacobson (22)
7. Lachlan Boshier (49)
8. Pita Gus Sowakula (20)
9. Brad Weber (77)
10. Kaleb Trask (4)
11. Sean Wainui (30)
12. Anton Lienert-Brown (74)
13. Quinn Tupaea (4)
14. Shaun Stevenson (48)
15. Damian McKenzie (76)

Reserves:

16. Bradley Slater (7)
17. Ryan Coxon (5)
18. Ross Geldenhuys (5)
19. Naitoa Ah Kuoi (6)
20. Dylan Nel (1)
21. Te Toiroa Tahuriorangi (36)
22. Aaron Cruden (94)
23. Etene Nanai-Seturo (11)

Highlanders team: Mitch Hunt, Sam Gilbert, Rob Thompson, Sio Tomkinson, Jona Nareki, Josh Ioane, Aaron Smith, Marino Mikaele Tu'u, Dillon Hunt, Shannon Frizell, Pari Pari Parkinson, Josh Dickson, Siate Tokolahi, Ash Dixon (c), Ayden Johnstone.

Replacements: Liam Coltman, Daniel Lienert-Brown, Jeff Thwaites, Manaaki Selby-Rickit, Teariki Ben-Nicholas, Kayne Hammington, Teihorangi Walden, Vilimoni Koroi.