Often with such complicated issues it is good to break them down into a more understandable format. So here we have Brexit - the omelette problem.

LEAVER: I want an omelette.

REMAINER: Right. It’s just we haven’t got any eggs.

LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]

REMAINER: They’re in the cake.

LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.

REMAINER: But we voted in 1974 to put them into a cake.

LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.

REMAINER: Icing is good.

LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I don’t like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.

DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.

DAVID CAMERON: OK.

DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.

LEAVER: Right, where’s my omelette?

REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.

LEAVER: Well, get them out.

EU: It’s our cake.

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.

REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Don’t you know how to get them out?

LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.

REMAINER: But how?! Didn’t you give this any thought?

LEAVER: Saboteur! You’re talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so there’s no reason why we can’t make them now.

THERESA MAY: It’s OK, I can do it.

REMAINER: How?

THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.

REMAINER: Yeah, but…

LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we don’t have any cake? I didn’t say I didn’t want the cake, just the bits I don’t like.

EU: It’s our cake.

REMAINER: But you can’t take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.

LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them. It’s just that they’re horrible.

REMAINER: Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.

LEAVER: It’s not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.

REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?

LEAVER: You lost, get over it.

THERESA MAY: By the way, I’ve started the clock on this.

REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?

THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.

REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.

EU: It’s our cake.

LEAVER: Where’s my omelette? I voted for an omelette.

REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what we’re doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.

LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

REMAINER: Fine, I’m moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.

LEAVER: You can’t. We’ve taken your freedom of movement.

@Siam said in All Blacks v BI Lions Test #3:

World rugby's biggest game advertisement in the fallow years between world cups and is influenced by an insecure refereeing system but the gin swillers will be reminding themselves "controversy lasts far longer in the advertiser's eye than a pure spectacle, and think of the clicks we'll get!"

Even the perpetrator knew he was offside playing at the ball!

Still our beloved team only really have themselves to blame

Taking nothing away from the Lions who will take more pride than us over the drawn series.

It was a great series and none of us predicted it thus.

one question though:

Did it feel lucky to draw that?

honest question from an unquestionably biased kiwi

edit: The question was aimed at Lions supporters (lest I lose my arrogance)

Honest answer? Yeah we were lucky in the end. Lucky on a couple of counts, firstly in that for much of the match we were outplayed and only some uncharacteristic balls ups from NZ kept us in the game. Later on we got nearer to parity and if you're there or thereabouts with 10 minutes to go you have to feel that you have a chance of nicking the game. So lucky but dissatisfied. Secondly the non penalty. I did think is was sort of accidental at least instinctive rather than deliberate, but to me it was definitely a penalty. Whether or not Barret would have slotted the kick is another matter and if he hadn't then you lot would just have had something else to make you spew

We rode our luck over two tests and overall the better team did not win, but that's the beauty of sport. Winning great but you watch because of the uncertainty.

Gatland's legacy will go down as a two-time undefeated Lions head coach (a fact he has reminded us of a couple of times already) but in truth this time round he was very lucky. There was no cunning master plan to out-coach NZ. Fair play to him in Australia four years ago, he got that last game spot on though.

I have to say, I find the piling on to Sam Cane a bit distasteful. He’s been a great servant to NZ rugby and has bided his time behind McCaw for many years, maybe his best years. He’s in a shithouse place now and not in great form but also part at a dysfunctional back row.

May not be justifying his captaincy or place atm but does not warrant some of the shit you guys are piling on himself .

@victor-meldrew said in F off with the damn PC Brigade:

Midget Gems renamed after disability campaigner claims word is 'hate speech' to people with dwarfism

Jan 11

Midget Gems renamed after claims name is hateful towards people with dwarfism

M&S rebrands sweets as Mini Gems, but campaigner claims more companies need to follow suit to abolish ‘deeply insulting’ word

Why would anyone complain about that. What about being the bigger person?

@jegga said in Add Fidel to the 2016 body count:

FFS, how is Yoko Ono is still alive?

A macrobiotic diet. She lives off dead beetles.

Well, I watched the game at home and was amazed at the England performance. I thought we had a chance but... Even though we were pretty dominant more or less throughout the game and it was ours to lose almost, there was always in the back of my mind that you just cannot trust a Kiwi to know when to say enough is enough. Having said that I felt reasonably comfortable with four minutes to go and two scores needed but even then... hmmm.

I didn't watch it at the pub as a 9.00 am kick off would have meant ruining the rest of the day but at around 11.40 I got a call from a mate. "I'm down at the Royal Oak and I need someone to talk rugby to. I can't go home and talk to her". So the rest of the day has been washout really. No complaints though.

Thanks to all who have posted congratulations and compliments on our performance. That takes a bit of doing, especially after the success you've had.

No where's that bottle of red?

@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:

@rocky-rockbottom said in Re: Movie review thread...:

The Living Daylights (1987)

"Timothy Dalton" "TIMOTHY DALTON"? Who the fuck is this weasel-eyed fluffybunny? This wooden wiener is about as suave as goddamn cock cancer. Compared to his illustrious predecessors, messrs Connery and Moore, he looks like he bought his clothes in the fucking supermarket.

"Timothy Dalton". May as well be Tomoko fucken Dildostein for all he's got to do with my Bond franchise. HowTF did he even pass the screen test? His dad must be the goddamn director.

Did the dishes. Read up on the footy. Basically stalled until this bland Where's Wally twat got OFF my telly.

I enjoyed this one. It was a bit 'dark'. Pretty certain a few people who knew Fleming said he said Dalton was his personal favourite Bond.

Necros was one of the coolest henchmen too, better than that homo Dario from LTK

Doubtful seeing as he died 23 years before The Living daylights was made.

@mariner4life said in Coronavirus - Media Discussion:

I'm fucking done with listening to the opinions of people who have heard or read the same as me

Well your time on the Fern had to end one day.

@MN5 said in F off with the damn PC Brigade:

@Victor-Meldrew said in F off with the damn PC Brigade:

@Tim said in F off with the damn PC Brigade:

I identify as a pacific person. Absolutely get fucked.

When I meet woke people, I sometimes can't resist reminding them I'm an immigrant and a Pacific Islander (I have some Ngāi Tahu whakapapa somewhere apparently). Can be fun.

Oh, so you’re not an old bloke with a cardie and a cheese cutter then ?

You’re assuming a binary outcome. Go and get re-educated

@NTA

An amazing comeback by your boys. Much will be made of that and rightly so but the implosion by Wales was the startling thing.

@NTA Yes

Finally Billy gets subbed. The walk to the touch line was as quick as he’s been all game.

I don’t know what Eddie has been smoking. Freeman, the only back with pace is off for Nowell who has deceptive pace - he’s slower than he looks. Take off one big lump (Cole’s) and replace him with a bugger lump(Ribbans) when we’ve been slow and second best around the park and at the breakdown. Then Curry gets yellow and we have no flankers at all, cos he’s only picked one in the 23. Meanwhile Billy V continues his charmed life despite making fuck all metres.

We’re going to get reamed.

@scribe

Bugger. Just bugger.

Question:

Alex Cuthbert - what is the point?

@MajorRage said in Parenting:

@NTA said in Parenting:

@gt12 said in Parenting:

Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...

$26.60 an hour. Not bad for a kid with no responsibilities. But fucking hell relax you dickheads!

If he checked the ID of the person buying the alcohol, and the minor was outside the store, then the customer will get the fine anyway for supplying.

That's IF anybody bothers to charge them i.e. the little underage shit gets busted by his parents IF his parents even care.

On top of all that, the mother in law (trapped n get Ian body with dementia) tested positive for Covid today.

Yay life

Those laws are insanely stupid.

My 70 yr old mother couldn’t buy a bottle of wine as my 38 year old wife was with her and didn’t have ID.

It literally prevents nothing.

@MajorRage said in Parenting:

@NTA said in Parenting:

@gt12 said in Parenting:

Is he getting paid 60K for this shit? I'm assuming it's a part-time gig...

$26.60 an hour. Not bad for a kid with no responsibilities. But fucking hell relax you dickheads!

If he checked the ID of the person buying the alcohol, and the minor was outside the store, then the customer will get the fine anyway for supplying.

That's IF anybody bothers to charge them i.e. the little underage shit gets busted by his parents IF his parents even care.

On top of all that, the mother in law (trapped n get Ian body with dementia) tested positive for Covid today.

Yay life

Those laws are insanely stupid.

My 70 yr old mother couldn’t buy a bottle of wine as my 38 year old wife was with her and didn’t have ID.

It literally prevents nothing.

Good way of slipping in a quiet boast about marrying a girl 15 years younger. Good skills mate. 😉

@NTA @broughie

Boomers bemoaning the overuse of screen time on an internet forum…

However, I know what you mean!

@Machpants said in England vs Springboks:

@Jailbreak7 said in England vs Springboks:

@Machpants said in England vs Springboks:

@booboo said in England vs Springboks:

@canefan said in England vs Springboks:

Off thread I know, but why have the ABs finished their tour a week earlier than their SANZAR counterparts?

Obviously these two negotiated revenue sharing matches outside the Test window.

Interesting as England have been the biggest opponents of revenue sharing.

Which is IMO why NZ v Eng has not happened more regularly.

England aren’t against revenue sharing for outside of window matches. They’re broke, for a start. However they have previously refused to pay the amount that the ABs wanted, obvs SA asked for less

Cant understand how England can be broke when they were charging extortionate ticket prices for the ABs match of up to £800 per ticket. The stadium revenue from the autumn internationals..let alone the advertising not to mention the food/drinks outlets must be swelling the coffers surely.

Covid, and gin costs

One a temporary nuisance, the other a perennial drag on profit.