Often with such complicated issues it is good to break them down into a more understandable format. So here we have Brexit - the omelette problem.

LEAVER: I want an omelette.

REMAINER: Right. It’s just we haven’t got any eggs.

LEAVER: Yes, we have. There they are. [HE POINTS AT A CAKE]

REMAINER: They’re in the cake.

LEAVER: Yes, get them out of the cake, please.

REMAINER: But we voted in 1974 to put them into a cake.

LEAVER: Yes, but that cake has got icing on it. Nobody said there was going to be icing on it.

REMAINER: Icing is good.

LEAVER: And there are raisins in it. I don’t like raisins. Nobody mentioned raisins. I demand another vote.

DAVID CAMERON ENTERS.

DAVID CAMERON: OK.

DAVID CAMERON SCARPERS.

LEAVER: Right, where’s my omelette?

REMAINER: I told you, the eggs are in the cake.

LEAVER: Well, get them out.

EU: It’s our cake.

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes, get them out now.

REMAINER: I have absolutely no idea how to get them out. Don’t you know how to get them out?

LEAVER: Yes! You just get them out and then you make an omelette.

REMAINER: But how?! Didn’t you give this any thought?

LEAVER: Saboteur! You’re talking eggs down. We could make omelettes before the eggs went into the cake, so there’s no reason why we can’t make them now.

THERESA MAY: It’s OK, I can do it.

REMAINER: How?

THERESA MAY: There was a vote to remove the eggs from the cake, and so the eggs will be removed from the cake.

REMAINER: Yeah, but…

LEAVER: Hang on, if we take the eggs out of the cake, does that mean we don’t have any cake? I didn’t say I didn’t want the cake, just the bits I don’t like.

EU: It’s our cake.

REMAINER: But you can’t take the eggs out of the cake and then still have a cake.

LEAVER: You can. I saw the latest Bake Off and you can definitely make cakes without eggs in them. It’s just that they’re horrible.

REMAINER: Fine. Take the eggs out. See what happens.

LEAVER: It’s not my responsibility to take the eggs out. Get on with it.

REMAINER: Why should I have to come up with some long-winded incredibly difficult chemical process to extract eggs that have bonded at the molecular level to the cake, while somehow still having the cake?

LEAVER: You lost, get over it.

THERESA MAY: By the way, I’ve started the clock on this.

REMAINER: So I assume you have a plan?

THERESA MAY: Actually, back in a bit. Just having another election.

REMAINER: Jeremy, are you going to sort this out?

JEREMY CORBYN: Yes. No. Maybe.

EU: It’s our cake.

LEAVER: Where’s my omelette? I voted for an omelette.

REMAINER: This is ridiculous. This is never going to work. We should have another vote, or at least stop what we’re doing until we know how to get the eggs out of the cake while keeping the bits of the cake that we all like.

LEAVER/MAY/CORBYN: WE HAD A VOTE. STOP SABOTAGING THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE. EGGSIT MEANS EGGSIT.

REMAINER: Fine, I’m moving to France. The cakes are nicer there.

LEAVER: You can’t. We’ve taken your freedom of movement.

@Siam said in All Blacks v BI Lions Test #3:

World rugby's biggest game advertisement in the fallow years between world cups and is influenced by an insecure refereeing system but the gin swillers will be reminding themselves "controversy lasts far longer in the advertiser's eye than a pure spectacle, and think of the clicks we'll get!"

Even the perpetrator knew he was offside playing at the ball!

Still our beloved team only really have themselves to blame

Taking nothing away from the Lions who will take more pride than us over the drawn series.

It was a great series and none of us predicted it thus.

one question though:

Did it feel lucky to draw that?

honest question from an unquestionably biased kiwi

edit: The question was aimed at Lions supporters (lest I lose my arrogance)

Honest answer? Yeah we were lucky in the end. Lucky on a couple of counts, firstly in that for much of the match we were outplayed and only some uncharacteristic balls ups from NZ kept us in the game. Later on we got nearer to parity and if you're there or thereabouts with 10 minutes to go you have to feel that you have a chance of nicking the game. So lucky but dissatisfied. Secondly the non penalty. I did think is was sort of accidental at least instinctive rather than deliberate, but to me it was definitely a penalty. Whether or not Barret would have slotted the kick is another matter and if he hadn't then you lot would just have had something else to make you spew

We rode our luck over two tests and overall the better team did not win, but that's the beauty of sport. Winning great but you watch because of the uncertainty.

Gatland's legacy will go down as a two-time undefeated Lions head coach (a fact he has reminded us of a couple of times already) but in truth this time round he was very lucky. There was no cunning master plan to out-coach NZ. Fair play to him in Australia four years ago, he got that last game spot on though.

@jegga said in Add Fidel to the 2016 body count:

FFS, how is Yoko Ono is still alive?

A macrobiotic diet. She lives off dead beetles.

And don't forget the police also raided Cliff Richard's house and seized all his computers. Everyone's worst fears were confirmed when they found he'd been making new music.

Nice quote from David Warner following Faf Du Plessis ball tampering of a couple of years back.

"We hold our heads high and I'd be very disappointed if one of our team members did that.

"The rules are in place for a reason. If you're not going to use them why bother having them?

"If you're going to overstep the mark, be prepared to get fined and miss Test matches."

@mariner4life said in Coronavirus - Media Discussion:

I'm fucking done with listening to the opinions of people who have heard or read the same as me

Well your time on the Fern had to end one day.

Well, I watched the game at home and was amazed at the England performance. I thought we had a chance but... Even though we were pretty dominant more or less throughout the game and it was ours to lose almost, there was always in the back of my mind that you just cannot trust a Kiwi to know when to say enough is enough. Having said that I felt reasonably comfortable with four minutes to go and two scores needed but even then... hmmm.

I didn't watch it at the pub as a 9.00 am kick off would have meant ruining the rest of the day but at around 11.40 I got a call from a mate. "I'm down at the Royal Oak and I need someone to talk rugby to. I can't go home and talk to her". So the rest of the day has been washout really. No complaints though.

Thanks to all who have posted congratulations and compliments on our performance. That takes a bit of doing, especially after the success you've had.

No where's that bottle of red?

@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:

@rocky-rockbottom said in Re: Movie review thread...:

The Living Daylights (1987)

"Timothy Dalton" "TIMOTHY DALTON"? Who the fuck is this weasel-eyed fluffybunny? This wooden wiener is about as suave as goddamn cock cancer. Compared to his illustrious predecessors, messrs Connery and Moore, he looks like he bought his clothes in the fucking supermarket.

"Timothy Dalton". May as well be Tomoko fucken Dildostein for all he's got to do with my Bond franchise. HowTF did he even pass the screen test? His dad must be the goddamn director.

Did the dishes. Read up on the footy. Basically stalled until this bland Where's Wally twat got OFF my telly.

I enjoyed this one. It was a bit 'dark'. Pretty certain a few people who knew Fleming said he said Dalton was his personal favourite Bond.

Necros was one of the coolest henchmen too, better than that homo Dario from LTK

Doubtful seeing as he died 23 years before The Living daylights was made.

@Hooroo said in The Time Has Come To Log In:

@erps You're not an ex-St Pauls lad are you?

If so, I think it was you that told me to check out the fern when discussing rugby at a party in London!

We're not in a blame culture here you know. Own your own mistakes.

@sparky said in Coronavirus - UK:

Had some chills when I went to bed last night but got reasonable sleep. Bit sore this morning but off we go.

Let's hope they're not multiplying. We know where that leads.

One song reminds of both life and death whenever I hear it. The folk song Lord of the Dance. Life because I saw an impromptu performance by a really classy folk trio in a pub garden one evening when everyone was so full of life. I was on my own but still felt part of it all. Death because it was played at the funeral of a loved one and I can never disassociate it.

Hmm an argument on NZ opensides. This could go on for some time. An embarrassment of riches is the term I feel.

In earlier times we in the NH didn’t get to see much of the unlucky/overlooked/out of favour/second choice guys so can really only comment on the more established guys and there are three I can think of that really made you sit up and take notice when you first saw them and McCaw wasn’t one of them for me. Sacrilege I hear screamed by all and sundry but hear me out. Mourie, Jones (in particular) and Kronfeld, just stood out as being so different and so good. Re-defining the art of being a 7. Of those three Jones was just so far ahead of not just the rest of his contemporaries but of his time too. Plus such a freakish athlete, he may even have been looked at as the GOAT but for his injury.

But here I am talking about the initial impact these guys had as much as anything else, this does not necessarily make any one of them the best. So now we come to McCaw. Not as flashy perhaps as the others (maybe because he was invisible for a portion of his career) but his all round skill set, incredible work ethic, ability to continue to improve through a very long career and sheer doggedness makes it very hard to look further than him.

So, Jones or McCaw for the number 1 spot and hard to decide. For me, if I had to pay to watch one of them in his prime, I’d pay to see Jones. If I had to pick one to play for me in a RWC final, I’d pick McCaw.

Not a bad age at all but still sad to see the passing of such a man - John Dawes.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/56776411

@snowy said in Lockdown Check In:

@dogmeat How dare you!
I think that just being allowed out at all might be the key to it. Rain, hail or shine.

Besides they're British, they'll talk about the weather, complain about the weather, then go out in the weather (now that they are allowed to).

Piss taking aside, my Father in law needs to get out since my MiL died 4 months ago. I think he is losing it. It has been close to solitary confinement.

That's tough for the old bugger. One of the uncounted costs of lockdown.

@majorrage said in Thrashed CD's:

@mn5 said in Thrashed CD's:

@majorrage said in Thrashed CD's:

@mn5 said in Thrashed CD's:

@kruse said in Thrashed CD's:

Sheee-it. It's been a long time since I proper thrashed an album.
And even longer since I listened to Smash. After the abomination which was the album one or two after that... I wouldn't have ever admitted to owning an Offspring album.
With my music collection sitting in the UK, it's probably about time I started downloading albums in the order I first heard them, and re-living my younger years in true middle-aged man style.z.

That is a great point. Who does nowadays with playlists ? My car was in the panel beaters for a week so had to borrow my Mums....Angel Dust was in the CD player......from the last time I borrowed it. Still a terrific album.

Working from home has changed that for me. Been listening to a lot of old school albums in their entirety.

Yeah a mate of mine ( basically housebound since Covid ) has done that lots too......the ones I listed are ones that have few ( if any ) songs worth skipping. No matter how much you like a band and album that’s pretty hard to do, most have a dud or two.

Hence, me having The Wall on my recently thrashed list. Really wanted to get to know this album, so put the time in. Reviewed it on another thread. And despite it's magnificence, it has some incredible dross on it.

The Floyd in a nutshell.

@majorrage said in Thrashed CD's:

@mn5 said in Thrashed CD's:

@kruse said in Thrashed CD's:

Sheee-it. It's been a long time since I proper thrashed an album.
And even longer since I listened to Smash. After the abomination which was the album one or two after that... I wouldn't have ever admitted to owning an Offspring album.
With my music collection sitting in the UK, it's probably about time I started downloading albums in the order I first heard them, and re-living my younger years in true middle-aged man style.z.

That is a great point. Who does nowadays with playlists ? My car was in the panel beaters for a week so had to borrow my Mums....Angel Dust was in the CD player......from the last time I borrowed it. Still a terrific album.

Working from home has changed that for me. Been listening to a lot of old school albums in their entirety.

Yep. I actually got out some vinyl the other week. Great sound.

Oh and back on to albums that were rinsed back in the day - Rattus Norvegicus by the Stranglers.

@bones said in Black Lives Matter:

@catogrande said in Black Lives Matter:

You can park the white pointy hat for now

that's quite the euphemism, but who am I to decline such an invite

There is no thread that you will not drag down to the gutter.

We need more people like this.

@bones said in Black Lives Matter:

@catogrande so he's the racist then, not allowed to play other ethnicities.

Good point. You can park the white pointy hat for now.

@bones said in Black Lives Matter:

@victor-meldrew huh, go figure.

Idrissa Akuna Elba was born on September 6, 1972, in the Hackney section of East London, England. An only child of Sierra Leonean and Ghanaian descent,

Jerk is a style of cooking native to Jamaica, in which meat is dry-rubbed or wet marinated with a hot spice mixture called Jamaican jerk spice.

Racist bitch.

No. You're the racist. Idris is playing a character. Who is of Jamaican descent.

Probably.

Oh and did I say racist?