Don't have kids because I can't. Insides were decimated by severe endometriosis. Three surgeons tried their best to cut 'n' scrape 'n' laser, but nope. Two days a month I'm incapacitated by pain (equivalent to late stage labour) the cramps seize up my gut, lower back, hips, and sciatic nerve. So that all sucks. Sibling has 4 kids with easy breezy pregnancies all.
Some days I'm glad I don't, especially when my anxiety disorder is bad. I look at others stressing about kid stuff and don't think I would cope. But other days it bites quite hard. And yes, when you are a woman, people are complete fuckwits if you don't have kids. The interrogation can be really cruel, and assumptions made.
The superiority of some parents, the shit like oh, you are selfish, or only a mother really knows how to love etc etc is hard to take. Honestly I wish people wouldn't ask why if you don't have kids. Like literally it's none of your fucking business. If it's a medical thing, it's so painful to talk about. Ditto for mental health or financial.
It's actually shocking how there is still so much stigma if a woman is childless. Oh, she is cold or dried up or other fucking shit. Like you're only worth something if you have a uterus that works, and God forbid if you don't feel the desire to breed. If we could reach a point where its like have kids if you want/not having them is equally cool, no explanation required, yay.
Oh, and don't wish for the whole single and ready to mingle way. There is nothing worth taking home nowadays. Not that you'd want to in a pandemic, amirite.

A very long post to say sometimes life just doesn't work out how you hoped. Shrug. That's the way it goes.

Finally got some great news in this hellscape year. I'm now officially a USA Today bestselling author. Can plaster that fact everywhere and on book covers as well.

1. Folau is a twat.
2. Even now, there are still way too many who think being LGBTQ is a lifestyle. For some, coming out is fine. For others, it's violence and ostracism, some have been killed over it. It can often depend where you live, the beliefs of family/friends etc. Religious fuckwits have caused immeasurable harm to LGBTQ people. Words matter. They fester in hearts and minds, and sometimes provoke action.

It's fine for those who are utterly unaffected to say oh he's just being a piston wristed gibbon, ignore, but it's a bit different when you are in the LGBTQ community and get the slurs and discrimination etc from religious fuckfaces on a regular basis.

Jacinda has been reading far too many overseas fap pieces about her leadership. Compared to other countries yes it is better, but she's in la la land if she thinks everyone is going to 'oh! ok, righto, whatever you say' every time she frowns in concern. We're way past the team of 5 million hokey shit or be kind. We want facts and a concrete plan that doesn't rely on pummeling the economy or bringing life to a screeching halt because there is a covid case.

They've had six bloody months to develop policy and implement best practice. The fact that they AGAIN believed all the overseas we are the bestest 4 eva fap when we were at level one just shows how much nonsense there has been. By pure luck we haven't had monster outbreaks, just small ones to demonstrate how foolish and mediocre elements of the response have been.

(I'm not saying National would have done much better before anyone bleats that.) But I cannot stand people who want all the plaudits when things are going well, then duck for cover and babble platitudes when the shit hits the fan. Has anyone involved in the fuck ups lost their job because of sheer incompetence? Or do Ash and Cindy just say they take responsibility but those reporting to them carry on as usual?

I'm so, so sick of spin and vagueness. As I posted earlier, bobbing in and out of lockdown is not a strategy.

I wish they would both fuck off.

@Kirwan said in Aaron Smith naughty boy?:

Watching the cringeworthy statement from Smith where he was quite upset (seriously, why did they make him do that?), it reminded me of another world class player that decided to leave NZ because it was too much of a fishbowl: Carl Hayman.

I hope we haven't chased away the best halfback we've had since Bachop because of some click hungry hacks and a couple of perverts who decided to record this incident.

That tearful apology was just awful. For him, for the AB's, for his friends and family. This is so out of control. The only people he owed an apology to was his girlfriend and the NZRU for being a douchebag when on duty. Everyone else can fuck off. Jesus, the lynch mob have got their pound of flesh for this, it makes me want to punch the recording couple in the face for being the catalyst that inflicted this bullshit on the country.

What a game, eh.
While there was little appreciation for my nerves, that was vintage Bledisloe, and I'm glad we got up in the end to honour the mighty Tree.
Shocking start by the ABs, Wallabies were crisp in passing, tight on defence, and pounced on mistakes. Genia clearly took a sip from the fountain of youth, great game.
Ioane fantastic, gees he is quick, always making metres. Our scrum was also mighty tonight. DMac, well he is brave, and he makes some good sniping runs, but bloody hell he needs to sort out his passing. Sometimes it is downright awful. I'm nervous about these continual head knocks for Crotty and Cane. Not good. SBW had a game to forget. ALB much better from last week.
Cheika is a dick. Dude, you lost because your kicker couldn't kick for shit. And I wouldn't be shitting on the refs, because your team got several favours out there in terms of 50/50 disallowed tries, and another than could have easily got one of your men a yellow.

@taniwharugby
And isn't it Morganic. Don't you think. A little tooooo Morganic. Yeah I really do think.
It's a little fame pre-election day.
A free ride because of Turei's mistakes.
It's no good advice, just renters and cats
Who would have thought...poll single figures.

Holy shit. This hit me.

So a few weeks back I sent copy edits to my editor with time to spare so we could meet the deadline of March 23. That day came and went, still no reply except an auto email to say they were under the weather. Finally got a reply a few days ago, and I quickly did the things needed doing and sent off to publisher. I was annoyed, because deadlines are deadlines and wtf. ANYWAY. Just found out a few mins ago that the reason they were 'under the weather' they had the fucking virus!!!

This what they had to say:

I’m on day 16 of this and it’s still hanging on but I’m not as ill as I was even just a few days ago. It’s getting better, just…so…slowly. I feel like I will never not have a cough. I feel like I will never breathe normally again. And I’m afraid my running days might be over.
I don’t know where I picked this up from. I’d been staying inside, only going out to shop for food. I work from home. I went to no social gatherings. I didn’t invite people over. I sanitized everything. Somehow I still got it and I can’t point to a definitive source. This is the sickest I’ve ever been. I went to the ER twice because I was having much difficulty breathing. I was afraid to go to sleep for fear I’d stop breathing overnight. But I was so exhausted I fell asleep anyway.
Day after day, I felt completely wiped out. The first week was the worst. For 5 straight days, I couldn’t speak. Not from a sore throat but from lack of air. I didn’t have enough air to even form words. If I tried to talk, I felt like I was suffocating. Because I was. I had thought my lungs were one of the strongest parts of my body. I’m a runner. I used to run every day. To suddenly have the strongest part of you turn into the weakest is unbelievably scary.
I am grateful to still be alive. There were times I didn’t think I would be. I’m still here, though my energy is not 100%. I’m still breathing, though not without regular coughing fits. And I’m still hopeful that my lungs haven’t suffered permanent damage. Right now it feels like they might never be the same. But time will tell.

I don't ever want to see Warren Gatland anywhere near the All Black head coach job.

@tim I hate stories like this to the maximum, and also judges who insist that criminals not being able to do their first choice job is a cruel and unusual punishment. Oh, he couldn't be a pilot if he was convicted of molesting teens? Fucking good!
Gah. Now this sack of shit skips away, but those teens have to live with the fallout of sex offences against them. So much for victim-centred justice.

Can we start a fund to not have Warren G return? I would chip in to that.

While I'm glad that Zac seems to be turning his life around at last, he is VERY lucky to have received the leniency he has considering his rap sheet over the past decade or so. And I kind of hate the fact that 'possible future rugby employment' still holds so much sway in court.
The path of Joe Anybody with same rap sheet would have been very different. Sportspeople aren't entitled to their career. They should face consequences same as anyone else for violent offences, especially repeat ones.

@crucial I just remember a story recently, about a woman on a scooter hit by a learner driver who was entirely at fault. Woman had significant injuries. Cops allegedly told woman that a conviction would ruin young learners life, so woman agreed to restorative justice. Turns out the learner was mid 20s, and stopped paying the 20 bucks a week 'compensation' after a few months. But now apparently it can't go to court because settled. So woman got broken arms, all the pain and physio for years, and that 20-something shit head skipped away. Not much justice there.

@kirwan I completely agree with the focus being on victims/future victims. Would argue our system isn't nearly victim-focused enough.
(it will forever grate that 'remorse' is a sentencing factor and that restorative justice seems so much more about offender gaining brownie points than actual justice for victims.)

Tbh, all the other five eye countries are complete clusterfucks right now, I can see why we might want to keep options open (not saying China isn't just as bad)

Maybe they'll even improve women's health with some of the saved money. I'm imagining a utopia where smear results don't have to be FAXED cos no central system that all docs can access.

@canefan yep. We are the country who goes ooooh, can't spend 200 million, that sounds like too much. So we end up budgeting 50 million, get a turkey, then spend 500 million fixing various turkey issues for the next 20 years.

@paekakboyz masochism 101

I'm laughing except not laughing cos nzta is such a permanent clusterfuck, but seriously, who in their right mind would opt for a three hour diesel train with baggage cart switcheroo included commute. And only twice a day. It's bloody 2021. We are supposedly a green and innovative nation, but are several decades behind everyone else in rail transport. It should not be this hard or this slow to get people from Hamilton to Auckland.