Now, I am aware of what I said regarding The Apology but today my feeling on the "Grieving NZers" and "Your pain is our shame" is one of, well, embarrassment.

The level of outrage and number of people publicly grieving for an outsider is frankly almost vomit inducing. Not because this poor girl is not worth it. But because our own people are too.The next time a native baby is killed or a native woman is raped I 100% know this public spectacle and vigil will not fucken happen.

And NZ media you need to just stop fucken now with this "shame" & "grieving" bullshit.

Many people lost their jobs during covid so I choose my words carefully. My work is slowly beating me into the ground. I have too much work and it's directly the result of COVID. We have had a bumper year. I live in QLD so we have had more freedom than the other 2 major states and indeed much of the world. I work in the construction industry and we had a lot of projects brought forward for fear they would not happen at all. So my stress levels have skyrocketed through having twice as much work as I'm used to. I think I have aged considerably this year. I am horrible at home. My wife says I am distant and quiet. Irritable and impatient. I would usually come home and shoot hoops with Jr for a good hour after work at least 2-3 times a week. I can not remember the last time we did that. I have not been to the gym in at least 7-8 weeks. I come home and I collapse. As @canefan said its first world problems but my inability to decompress, go away with the boys on a golf trip or bugger off to Syndey for some good food, and shopping with the Mrs certainly plays a part. I resisted the urge to up my drinking and god only knows how unbearable I would have become to live with had I hit the bottle.

But for me, and I know it's odd to say and think this, I never went into lockdown. I have worked all the way through. I have had 2 days working from home in the last year. I have listened to and read a lot of people's comments about isolation. It's been rough, feeling like prisoners in your own home. I feel like the one thing people had during their lockdowns was a time to reflect and to heal. Don't get me wrong I know there were many people who went into depression as a result of lockdown. They lost work as well as their sanity. So please don't think I mean it was some kind of holiday I missed out on. But I firmly believe, especially during those first few months where we were still meeting people on job sites and driving into the office on empty roads, that affected me in a negative way. I have had friends say they came out of lockdown like bears leaving hibernation. There was a relief there. I don't think I have had that easing of the shoulders. A "finally" moment. I feel like I've been holding my breath for months and I'm still waiting for my exhale moment.

Again I had a job and many others didn't. I understand if people don't get what I'm trying to say, as well.

Go Australia.

I feel sick.

I went into the madness yesterday and this morning.

Yesterday was surreal. The local mall was dead. All the shops were open but no one really shopping. The supermarket on the other hand. What a shit show. We managed to get our usual shop in with a few extra provisions. One of the things that amazes me is what some people think they will need.

white and jasmine rice has sold out. But tons of basmati and brown rice still left. Rice is rice ffs.

Instant pancakes sold out. But flour still in abundance. Lots of instant products missing. But the stuff that will yield more meals still sitting there.

The worst thing I saw was and Asian man coughing without covering his mouth in the grocers. I don’t care that he was Asian. That’s not why I mentioned his ethnicity. I said it because the bogan chick that told him to “fuck off back off to China” thought it was important. He was a fucken ignorant disgusting c@nt but who coughed hard 3 times without covering his mouth. Fruit and vege all around him. But his being Asian made him more of a target for what will no doubt become known as Coracism.

Today was slightly less strained than yesterday. People were in cafes doing Sunday as they always do. So I’m hopeful we aren’t descending into a mad max scenario. Where TP is the new guzzolene.

In any case I’m optimistic that the worst we will see is a 1-2 week shut down. It’ll send some small businesses broke and that’s a bloody shame. It could be worse. Who really knows.

I have been thinking about the virus itself all wrong though. I haven’t really been worried about getting sick or my wife n kids getting sick. We are all very healthy and active people. Yesterday a conversation with my dad made me rethink this. He’s really shiting himself. He’ll probably be fine if infected. 62 but looks 50. Strong as an Ox and still very active. He’s terrified by this thing though. I hadn’t really given much concern to the elderly mortality. My concern is always my kids and wife. But speaking with dad and hearing my wife speak to her 80yo widower mum. Sitting alone in a house in Upper Hutt with no support system as we all live abroad. I’m a bit ashamed I’ve not taken this more seriously. I’ve been nonchalantly saying over water cooler talk “oh it’s only the elderly and people who are already sick”. Like their lives mean less than mine.

I’ve been bemused by the potential for a lockdown and such. But I’m a little disgusted with myself for being so flippant about a situation that has such a high mortality rate. That Italian obits tweet is just shocking. All elderly people in those photos. All that knowledge, teachings, experience is gone for many families.

If a lockdown means that I get a few more years of horrible shortbread for Xmas from my mother in law, hopefully another 20 odd years of beers with the old man and another 20 plus years of kiwi care packages from my mum. Then so be it. Lock my ass up.

@mariner4life

Step 1 - fuck video games off.

Step 2 - make him apologise to your neighbour

I spoiled my firstborn, my daughter. I'd take her to the warehouse or toy world and buy her something every week until she was 6. My son came along and I dialed it back. My daughter up until her late teens was selfish and a sook. I started emptying her room when she was naughty - toys, books, etc - just left one teddy and her favourite blanket. It never worked though. She'd just cry and cry and cry. I'd feel guilty and move it all back in. All she learned was that dad was a grouchy but ultimate soft touch. The first time I ever got through was with her Nintendo DS. We bought them for the kids as a bribe for upending their lives and moving to Oz. She loved that thing. But she went through a period of being nasty to everyone and ruining things. Like damaging things just because. I told her if she fucked up one more thing I'd smash her DS. She tried me and I snapped it in half in front of her. It worked. She knew I was serious and it lasted for 4 glorious well behaved years...I have documented her mid to late teens and won't rehash.

My son who grew up earning the things he wants and he is defo the more cooperative of the two now. He breaks stuff more because he's clumsy and intuitive and wants to know how things work. As long as that doesn't extend to small animals I think we're good.

I've never taken the belt to the kids or given them island parenting. Don't get me wrong, I've fucken wanted to. In my experience, though it's never too late to discipline your children. You just have to find your own thing that fucks up their lives just enough to make them think about consequences. But not so much that it sends them to therapy or to a clock tower dressed like Neo from the Matrix.

@salacious-crumb said in 17 Test AB to Play for Tonga at World Cup:

I'm seeing Ma'a Nonu's name mentioned, and I'm a huge Nonu fan, but seeing him in a different national rep jersey to me stinks of mercenariness, and 'tho would be good for Tonga, I'm not convinced the optics are good for the game.

It would be a massive coup for Tonga considering he is Samoan....

After living 18 years in the UK my brother went along to Lord's for the first time for the first day with his cricket mad youngest son. My nephew has lived his entire life in the UK but still rocked up wearing black caps kit.

@Virgil I hate muthafuckas like this. The police are doing their fucken job. You looked suspicious and they detained you. The day after the largest mass murder in our history you really want to take the people protecting all of us to task for doing their jobs?!

Just fuck off. Fuck. Right. Off.

We are about to be a single income family. The Mrs runs a gym that will close at 12 pm today. We are all healthy and that's what matters. We have a chest freezer that is full to bursting. We haven't hoarded but we have added quite a bit to what we already had.

I'm not going to lie, I'm scared shitless. Work seemed to be really positive about our ability to work remotely and now there does not seem to be much point. We have savings and I will be requesting my Kiwisaver be paid out to some extent. I'm not prepared for 6 months of no income though. If that time frame proves accurate it's going to be dicey for me.

We are positive people and I'll push trolleys in the car park at Woollies if I have to. If that's what it takes to see this shitty situation through. I just hope it gets better fast.

Best of luck to all of you.

Shame Reed couldnt make the trip

I've pulled sticks on the season. Basically feel that way about all sports except MMA.

The music I have been subjected to in the last month has made my ears bleed. We have 2 young people at work now and we all take turns with the Spotify. So much pop!

I can listen to some of it. I like hip-hop and rnb, even some new stuff like Cautious Clay, Doja Cat and some other young people stuff. But all the rap now is whiney bitches with Auto tune. My boss is 7 years older than me and all he wants is UK house music from the late 90s.

Ive to get them to listen to some Stevie Wonder and some funk. Prince went well.

Love me some afrobeats and Reggaeton. Both are starting to get big.

@bovidae I meant more the public rather than the warriors.

@mn5 little known whimpy lead, Jason Mamoa, visionary director....

The big give away is Jason Mamoa. He generally attaches himself to utter shit.

@canefan so true. But the guy has been amazing for the warriors and I'm happy no one is having a dig at his leaving early.

RTS immediate release. Surprised no one has mentioned it.

@mn5 it's going to suck hard.

@african-monkey as I said. Mitchell is a c@nt...

Gagai of to Newcastle again. Seems like there's a story there. Yesterday the comms team said Bennett reckoned his QLD centre was in the "club" form of his life.

I'm going to say it now with no proof of any kind. He doesn't like Mitchell.

@tewaio he seemed happy to just be a clean up guy. Too humble and didn't seem to demand looks. I follow him on insta and slot of his videos recently involve three pint shooting. So it's obvious if he's to continue to be a starting centre he needs to start spreading the floor to some extent. There's talk he'll be traded away from the Pels and with a new coach signed he'd have to prove himself to stay in the mix in NO.

The main thing I think he's just not ego driven and didn't ever see himself as an offensive threat. At OKC he was never seen as that by Brooks or Donovan. So he never developed past what he is now.