Exclusive Interview with Foster
Interviewer: Thanks for talking to us again, Ian.
Fozzie: No worries. My shout this time. How many Big Macs do you want?
Interviewer: What's changed in the camp since the defeat to Argentina?
Fozzie: We had a sit down and a good think about what went wrong and how we could improve. We even brought in a sports psychologist to help us.
Interviewer: How so?
Fozzie: She told us to be open and honest with our shortcomings as there's a natural tendency to hide things we're not good at - especially in a team environment. For example I admitted I had problems with numbers like 12, 13 & 14 at school, TJ owned up to having a fixation with chickens and Scooter has this weird thing called Xanthophilia.
Interviewer: What’s Xanthophilia?
Fozzie: A love of all things yellow, apparently.
Interviewer: There's been some criticism of your comments that things are going well on the training pitch but why are they not being transferred onto the playing field?
Fozzie: Fair question. Look, I can only say it how I see it. I understand the frustration from the supporters’ point of view. And Scotty & Plummy feel it too. For me as head coach it's worse. Way up there with getting to KFC at closing time and finding out you've missed out on the last Big Bucket.
Interviewer: There's been some criticism of the game plan against Argentina.
Fozzie: A lot of that criticism is unfair. We've taken loads of time to analyse and work on our game plan. Obviously, It’s a work in progress but we hope to share it with the players soon.
Interviewer: Are you looking at how to counter the rush defence?
Fozzie: We're working really hard on that and trying different variations on attack. We workshop things in the training sheds before trying it out on the practice paddock. We used my empty KFC Big Buckets to represent the opposition forward and the Big Mac boxes for the backs.
Interviewer: How did that go?
Fozzie: OK, but we had to stop using the Big Buckets though as they were triggering withdrawal symptoms in Asafo Aumua.
Interviewer: You've picked JB at 14 again. What is your thinking behind that?
Fozzie: He's played pretty well in SRA at 14 so he was the logical choice. He was particularly impressive in the game with the Hurricanes. I pretty much made up my mind about him then.
Interviewer: Didn't he play fullback for the Canes in that game?
Fozzie: I clearly recall discussing the 14 slot at the airport & Scotty McLeod saying "Well Jordan played bloody well in the Hurricanes - Crusader game" and I decided there and then he was in the squad at 14.
Interviewer: That was "Will Jordan went well "surely, and not "Well Jordie went well"?
Fozzie: Why wasn't I told about these things? Can you see the sort of ineptitude I have to put up with? People aren’t even able to get players names right.
Interviewer: What about the balance in the loose forwards? There’s been some comment that Ardie Savea is a bit too light at 8 and should be brought on as an impact player.
Fozzie: That’s a good point. But Ardie has the experience which is vital and we’ve been working on his physicality. He’s working really hard on bulking up.
Interviewer: He doesn’t seem to have bulked up much though. Is he working on it enough?
Fozzie: You should see the McDonalds loyalty cards I lent Ardie.
Interviewer: What do you say to some of the social media attacks by supporters on you and the team after the Argentina loss?
Fozzie: Just knock that crap off will you? Just because you're right, doesn't mean you can be abusive.
Interviewer: But can’t you see how supporters might feel with the way the All Blacks are playing?
Fozzie: I can certainly empathise with how they feel. It’s a bit of a shock when you lose twice in a row unexpectedly when you have a history of winning. The only thing I would say is that the shock does wear off after a few losses. Trust me on that.
Interviewer: Will you consider your future if you lose on Saturday?
Fozzie: I'm contracted until 2021. So we'll see after that. But you know, you never know, you know.
Interviewer: Thanks for talking with us
Fozzie: My pleasure. Do you want those fries?