G'day all, thought I would kick start a support group for anyone who is struggling or needs some support. My reason for starting this is my partner of 25 years has a degenerative condition that has worsened over time and is now so bad she is bed bound in the lounge room and I care for her. Can't say I ever thought I would see my wife in a wheelchair and needing me to help clean her etc.

I know many of you have lost partners, parents etc and I am curious how you kept your mental health healthy when watching a loved one's health fail.

The biggest thing we miss is the ability to do things like travel, bushwalking etc. It is only when your body fails that you realise how important moments and experiences are. Material things, money etc are not important when you can't do anything. For those with a healthy partner make sure you give them a big hug and surprise them with a trip somewhere.

@Kiwiwomble Thanks mate, I appreciate the concern, we both watched the rugby together and it was a real highlight seeing her get excited by the boys performance It's a bit like groundhog day to be honest, good days with bad and just focusing on the good. We are in a bit of a holding pattern at present and I'm just focusing on doing what I can with work and caring etc. Cheers.

Having experienced more than enough suicides in my life I really do feel for the family. Those in grief can't help but feel guilty and you always wonder if you could have done something earlier to prevent it.

Mental health is a disease that is only really starting to get the recognition it deserves, and one could argue a lack of media in the past is one of the reasons we have been so slow to act.

I did 10 years in the Cops and never once spoke to a mental health professional, even after my boss hung himself and I was on duty when it happened. I was always surprised I had to be tested each year to carry a firearm yet no checks were done on my mental health to use the thing.

All I can hope are cases like this are used in a way to encourage those with the illness to reach out for help.

Great thread, all humans have a unique individual story, and it is important to listen and hear others.

I have a long story, but the short version is 10 years in the Cops, left 2 years ago, moved to the country, suffer from PTSD and anxiety, became unemployed, struggled with loss of identity and connections from the Police. I quickly found myself in a pretty dark hole, nothing seemed to matter, I had lost all sense of purpose, nothing excited me, and I was at the lowest point I had been in my life.

I sat with my thoughts wondering how it came to this, as a teenager I took any job, did anything, spoke to anyone and was full of life without a care in the world. Fast forward 25 years and I was a grown man awake in the middle of the night wondering why my brain was torturing me. I read plenty of self-help books, reached out for help but nothing really worked.

Thankfully, over time things have gotten a lot better. If I reflect on what is different, the main thing is I found something to do, I was lucky to get part time work I enjoy. I had always enjoyed photography and decided to pursue that even more regardless if it made me any money. Once I became busy, started helping others and felt like I was contributing the chatter in the head faded, time has healed my wounds regarding the Police, and I can say I am excited about what is ahead.

It appears for me the medicine is being busy, focused and having a feeling of purpose. I truly hope everyone who is struggling can get the help they need, and I wish you all the best going forward.

This must be how Wallaby supporters feel.

I have very fond memories of staying at my grandparents house when the All Blacks were playing in the UK. I would sleep on the couch in the lounge, my grandmother would set an alarm, get up, wake me up, put on the TV and then pretend to be interested in the Rugby. She is long dead now but credit to her for letting a young bloke watch his idols in the middle of the night.

I was in the Police for many years. I remember one bloke, heavy meth user, broke into 30+ houses, in and out of Jail. He got out and disappeared off our radar, I thought he must have moved or died.

About 6 months later I run into him at the Supermarket. He has work boots, pants etc on and looked completely different. He spotted me and I made small talk with him. I Said "haven't seen you around" He said, "I'm too bloody tired after work to break into houses."

So after hours upon hours chasing him, going to court, years in jail. All he needed was a job.

I honestly believe the key to reducing offending is education, employment, strong family and social connections.

All the dependent drug users I engaged with couldn't have cared less about its legality. That made no difference whatsoever.

I am all for legalisation, if you want to reduce the harms of drugs you need to give people a reason not to become dependent on them in the first place. Plenty of people use alcohol responsibly and cannabis would be no different.

@Steven-Harris said in SF Blues v Brumbies:

@chimoaus i looks pretty daming , yes there may have been other calls that could have gone either way during the game , but you know what a team has time rectify any wrong doings ..but that call could have changed everything ..will take the win as a Blues supporter , but i will say i would have had no issues if the call had gone the other way ..

Every incorrect/marginal call has a sliding doors moment that could heavily impact the outcome. If White was carded for cynical play on the ground or the Brumbies try was disallowed it would have had an impact. The call was 50/50 and the Blues got the rub of the green. If the Brumbies had held onto the ball instead of going for the drop goal they may have got a penalty and won.

Sport will always have these moments and good teams take it out of the hand of the ref and focus on their roles and what they can do next.

So true it's scary.

I must admit to yelling at the screen when they took the tap instead of kicking for touch and milking the clock. That choice almost cost them the game.

@ARHS said in All Blacks v England:

Absolute disgrace of a game ruined by a pedantic referee.

There has to be a change in how games are officiated, that was one of the worst games to watch due to the absolute pedantic interpretation.

Can we simply have an overriding principle that if it does not negatively impact the opposition the ref should favour the attacking team. RI being offside with the kick had no impact on the game. Not straight onto the English side where they don't compete. Penalising England in the lineout we did not compete.

So many stupid interruptions for offences that have little to no impact on the game or either team. Why should the ref always be looking to penalise or stop the game. The goal of the ref should be to let it flow.

I would love to hear from WR on how and why this is a good spectacle and why we as the paying public should be putting up with such shit.

@MajorRage said in All Blacks v England:

Scott fucking Barrett is a fucking lock, not a fucking sux.

We’ve been here before snd it didn’t work. Why are we doing it again?

Did I mention I’m going?

He went alright this year when playing 6. Under Ryan and Schmidt the forward pack appears to be playing much tighter and lots of carries close to the ruck etc. I think SB suits the current structure better than 2019. At worst we will add page 999 to this year's learnings.

Just a shout out for DeGroot ST and Lomax. I highly doubt a year ago anyone would have picked that as the front row likely to start vs England.

@Crucial said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Joans-Town-Jones said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Victor-Meldrew said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Joans-Town-Jones said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Victor-Meldrew said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Joans-Town-Jones said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Victor-Meldrew said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@No-Quarter said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Victor-Meldrew said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@Joans-Town-Jones said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

Yeah this chopping and changing is such a great idea. Fucking change my mind.

Ma'a Nonu played something like 70 tests at 12 and 62 of those were with Conrad Smith. Jordie B has had 2 and looks a million times better than that headless chook Havili. We're 10 tests away from a QF but yeah, keep changing the fucking team.

Since 2015 we've been looking for centers. Hansen fucked the team around all the way up to the SF in 2019. Foster has done the same. Finally find a potential candidate and he won't be played 2 tests in succession.

For all the doom and gloom in this test, the Jocks are gifted a PT (DP was blocked from making a tackle and the ball ingoal makes a huge dogleg to the left, not probable in my book but hey) and Mr Indecisive gift wraps and pass right into the hands of the Jocks.

And what happens if we put all our eggs in the Jordie basket, he gets injured and we don't have back-ups with reasonable experience.?

You can say that about any number of players from every single team in the world. That's just the nature of the beast. This obsession NZ has with trying to have 2 players in every position with loads of test experience is absurd and is really hurting us as our top team rarely gets consecutive games together. We are just shooting ourselves in the foot with this while other teams build combinations.

Not really talking about having 2 players in every position, more about having a viable and reasonably seasoned option if a player gets injured - e.g.12. We don't currently have that and are running out of time to deliver it.

You want more time developing a backup than a starter? Fucking mindless.

It's not binary. Try actually reading what I wrote rather than throwing your toys out of the pam because I don't agree with you.

Its exactly what you said, pam.

You have to be seriously lacking in basic comprehension skills if you think my view that we need to develop Jordie and provide a reasonable backup option if Jordie gets injured, equates to me arguing for developing the backup option over Jordie as a starting 12.

Your literal argument is we need to develop backups for JB. How do we sufficiently do that without sacrificing JBs time at 12 in the next 10 tests? Again, we don't have 20-30 tests. We have 10. Perhaps you can't comprehend your own argument.

I think he is explaining a view that would be held by 99% of international coaches.
Who would be crazy enough not to have a plan to mitigate an injury risk and go into a RWC with a starter that hasn't played in the position at that level for a year?
You say JB needs all the time available yet the 'other guy' doesn't need any.
You're welcome to your opinion but I doubt many would agree with that prospect.

Technically the backup can still get plenty of time from the bench. TJP is the most capped bench starter we have ever had, not many people were screaming for him to start more just in case AS got injured. DH is exactly the same, we know what he offers, start him vs Japan or the Pacific Island nations, not tier 1 nations where JB needs the experience at present.

The fact is we had four opportunities for JB and RI to start together and it looks like they will only do this twice, that to me is a missed opportunity.

@Kirwan said in What is Good for Women's Rugby:

@chimoaus She any worse that the plonkers Aussie rugby have picked now or in the past? Mark Robinson?

I have no idea how they select these CEO's but the pay packet often doesn't match the ability that is for sure. I have no idea why it is so difficult to get competent leaders.

@Kirwan said in What is Good for Women's Rugby:

On the flip side, no reason why we can't have female refs (or adminstrators) in the mens game. Pick the best people.

@Bones said in All Blacks XV v Barbarians:

@Victor-Meldrew Aumua looked very Riekoish. Definitely someone to get more involved.

Stevenson has the Jordan mystique, but a better boot. Back 3 of him, Jordan and Telea is certainly worth a look.

Aumua looked a little slow and heavy to me, like running in quick sand or post injury NMS. Happy to be wrong of course but I have not seen a lot of him prior.

@ACT-Crusader said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@chimoaus said in All Blacks vs Scotland:

@ACT-Crusader So what you are trying to say is DH starts in the WC 23 final and has a blinder?

Or hobbles off injured in the final because both Jordie and ALB have been injured in training and the semi final, only to make way for Sevu Reece to be shifted to 2nd 5 and score a try and hold the cup aloft….

I think a better story would be JB, DH, ALB all get injured, and they call in Māori Jesus who happens to be helping feed the homeless nearby, starts the game and scores after the siren to win.

@Stargazer said in All Blacks XV v Barbarians:

Did anyone else hear the commentator say that (Levi) Aumua will join the Barbarians after this match? Or was it my imagination?

Mckenzie is also playing a few games for them also by the looks.

@ACT-Crusader So what you are trying to say is DH starts in the WC 23 final and has a blinder?