This must be how Wallaby supporters feel.

Great thread, all humans have a unique individual story, and it is important to listen and hear others.

I have a long story, but the short version is 10 years in the Cops, left 2 years ago, moved to the country, suffer from PTSD and anxiety, became unemployed, struggled with loss of identity and connections from the Police. I quickly found myself in a pretty dark hole, nothing seemed to matter, I had lost all sense of purpose, nothing excited me, and I was at the lowest point I had been in my life.

I sat with my thoughts wondering how it came to this, as a teenager I took any job, did anything, spoke to anyone and was full of life without a care in the world. Fast forward 25 years and I was a grown man awake in the middle of the night wondering why my brain was torturing me. I read plenty of self-help books, reached out for help but nothing really worked.

Thankfully, over time things have gotten a lot better. If I reflect on what is different, the main thing is I found something to do, I was lucky to get part time work I enjoy. I had always enjoyed photography and decided to pursue that even more regardless if it made me any money. Once I became busy, started helping others and felt like I was contributing the chatter in the head faded, time has healed my wounds regarding the Police, and I can say I am excited about what is ahead.

It appears for me the medicine is being busy, focused and having a feeling of purpose. I truly hope everyone who is struggling can get the help they need, and I wish you all the best going forward.

I was in the Police for many years. I remember one bloke, heavy meth user, broke into 30+ houses, in and out of Jail. He got out and disappeared off our radar, I thought he must have moved or died.

About 6 months later I run into him at the Supermarket. He has work boots, pants etc on and looked completely different. He spotted me and I made small talk with him. I Said "haven't seen you around" He said, "I'm too bloody tired after work to break into houses."

So after hours upon hours chasing him, going to court, years in jail. All he needed was a job.

I honestly believe the key to reducing offending is education, employment, strong family and social connections.

All the dependent drug users I engaged with couldn't have cared less about its legality. That made no difference whatsoever.

I am all for legalisation, if you want to reduce the harms of drugs you need to give people a reason not to become dependent on them in the first place. Plenty of people use alcohol responsibly and cannabis would be no different.

So true it's scary.

@Godder said in Happiness Scale:

My personal rules for maintaining some semblance of happiness:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff
2. Don't worry about the stuff you can't control
3. You don't have to keep up with the Joneses
4. Don't let the bastards grind you down.
   5. Masturbate as required.

Also need to spare a thought for the poor Police that have to attend that scene to gather evidence, I couldn't even imagine how they would deal with that. I realise they are professionals but they are human too.

On a serious note, I imagine mental health issues will spike with being isolated, not being able to engage with community groups, financial pressure etc. Keep a look out for your mates and loved ones.

According to espn Bridge made 15 runs for 117 metres, most metres by any player, Reece had 11 for 54 but had 8 defenders beaten to Bridges 4. But combined these two young wingers were exceptional.

Fozzie: "Brownie, you up for being my assistant?", Brown: "Sorry Fozzie, Jamie and I are having a crack."
Fozzie: "Jamie, great job with Japan, I still think I'm the better coach so do you want to be my 2IC?", Joseph: "Fuck off Fozzie!"
Fozzie: "Coops Bra, you want to be my 2IC?". Cooper: "Sorry Fozzie, King Country need a new head coach."
Fozzie: "Razor, great job with the Crusaders, I think I need your dance skills", Razor " Fozzie, the backs were shit at the WC, I can do better and I am a forwards coach."
Fozzie: "Hammet, our forwards got smashed, you are the man for the job", Hammet:"When do I start"

@Paekakboyz 100%, so many stats and research showing the impact of good male role models on young men, from how they treat woman etc etc. My nephew doesn't have a Dad, so I do my best to be that role model and show him "the way"

I always remember going to a house where the young girl was playing up. The mother says, "I have no idea why the little fluffybunny behaves like she does", in my head I am thinking I know exactly why she is playing up.

I visit numerous private and public schools throughout Victoria as part of my job. What always strikes me is that in almost every single class I enter you can break it down into the geeks, cool kids, hot chicks, adhd boys, and those unfortunate kids that are bullied every day. All the schools have a very similar dynamic, there are a bunch of kids who are very switched on, engaged and happy to be there. Then there are the kids up the back who would rather be smoking bongs and banging chicks.

I had a mate who gave his kids a choice, they could go to private school or they could go to public school. If they chose public the money that was saved was put into an account and each year the entire family went on a long holiday somewhere. They went public and had the most awesome holidays as a family.

In saying that the difference in facilities between public and private almost makes me sick, there is a clear haves and have nots in the education system and It pisses me off that those kids from money get far better resources etc.

@taniwharugby Sorry to hear about Jnr and his mate, not a pleasant experience. I still remember being robbed in Whangarei when I was around 16. Sounds almost exactly the same scenario. Glad to hear he wasn't injured. I always wonder what sort of lives those boys have lived that robbing people is their "normal", you can only imagine what their home lives would be like. Not excusing the behaviour but I just wish all young people had access to loving homes with good role models etc.

Another reason the Nations Cup was a good idea, no friendlies, all top teams play each other once each year, and each year you know which is the best team in the world. You don't have to wait every 4 years.

@Paekakboyz The thing is I can initiate with myself whenever I want, sex for me is all about her getting a happy ending, hard for them to achieve that if they don't want it in the first place. I would much rather have sex when she is a willing an active participant as opposed to her just taking it for my benefit.

I am curious how things will change in the future with dolls, AI, VR and technology. I suspect one day the experience will be very close to the real thing.

@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:

@chimoaus Has it crossed your mind she might not initiate as often as she might based on your reticence? She may think you aren't that interested.

Aren't all men up for it? I think I have turned her down only a handful of times in 25 years.

@canefan said in Happiness Scale:

@NTA said in Happiness Scale:

@canefan shit yeah. Even happened once this year after I got home from rugby.

Made me wonder if she'd been watching Magic Mike while I was out

I know a couple who are pretty playful, and she definitely gets triggered by stuff she watches on Netflix. And its not like he does anything special around the house or with the kids (in fact the opposite). He just picked a live one. Its just not fun when there isn't much action and when there is its just keen to be over

My first girlfriend was a "live" one, problem was when I wasn't around, she went "live" with someone else. I have zero fear of my wife ever doing that.

In relation to the sex thing, my strategy is as follows. I never initiate, that way I am never frustrated or resentful for being turned down. My wife also gets the benefit of not having to turn me down which often makes her feel guilty and anxious. When she is "ready" she will let me know and it's a bonus, this often fluctuates depending on health, stress etc. But the key is that I don't care when it happens, I'm just ready for when it does. And when it does happen, I know she is in the "mood" which makes for far better sex anyway.

Another thing which works in our house is we have a whiteboard for short term and long-term tasks that need doing. She can write things on the board she needs help with, and I can visually see what is on her mind or what I can assist with. I am fucken terrible at remembering things and that used to piss her off when I would forget. With the board I can't forget as it is right in front of me until I do it and cross it off.

Have they tried penalties only for intentional foul or cynical play? Just wondering if all the technical penalties like scrums, lineouts, ruck entry etc couldn't be something like a free kick where you get the throw in from the resulting lineout, you cannot take a kick for goal. This would lead to the ball being in the opposition 22 a lot more as you would not be able to take a shot at goal as often.

@bayimports said in Money/Investing:

I have heard of Raiz and Spaceship here is Australia, but I have no experience with either, I am curious if anyone has had success.

As for zero debt and no mortgage....you lucky bastard

Yeah, paying off the mortgage was our main priority and just made as many extra payments as we could, took 17 years to do it which is still a long time.