G'day all, thought I would kick start a support group for anyone who is struggling or needs some support. My reason for starting this is my partner of 25 years has a degenerative condition that has worsened over time and is now so bad she is bed bound in the lounge room and I care for her. Can't say I ever thought I would see my wife in a wheelchair and needing me to help clean her etc.

I know many of you have lost partners, parents etc and I am curious how you kept your mental health healthy when watching a loved one's health fail.

The biggest thing we miss is the ability to do things like travel, bushwalking etc. It is only when your body fails that you realise how important moments and experiences are. Material things, money etc are not important when you can't do anything. For those with a healthy partner make sure you give them a big hug and surprise them with a trip somewhere.

Having experienced more than enough suicides in my life I really do feel for the family. Those in grief can't help but feel guilty and you always wonder if you could have done something earlier to prevent it.

Mental health is a disease that is only really starting to get the recognition it deserves, and one could argue a lack of media in the past is one of the reasons we have been so slow to act.

I did 10 years in the Cops and never once spoke to a mental health professional, even after my boss hung himself and I was on duty when it happened. I was always surprised I had to be tested each year to carry a firearm yet no checks were done on my mental health to use the thing.

All I can hope are cases like this are used in a way to encourage those with the illness to reach out for help.

Great thread, all humans have a unique individual story, and it is important to listen and hear others.

I have a long story, but the short version is 10 years in the Cops, left 2 years ago, moved to the country, suffer from PTSD and anxiety, became unemployed, struggled with loss of identity and connections from the Police. I quickly found myself in a pretty dark hole, nothing seemed to matter, I had lost all sense of purpose, nothing excited me, and I was at the lowest point I had been in my life.

I sat with my thoughts wondering how it came to this, as a teenager I took any job, did anything, spoke to anyone and was full of life without a care in the world. Fast forward 25 years and I was a grown man awake in the middle of the night wondering why my brain was torturing me. I read plenty of self-help books, reached out for help but nothing really worked.

Thankfully, over time things have gotten a lot better. If I reflect on what is different, the main thing is I found something to do, I was lucky to get part time work I enjoy. I had always enjoyed photography and decided to pursue that even more regardless if it made me any money. Once I became busy, started helping others and felt like I was contributing the chatter in the head faded, time has healed my wounds regarding the Police, and I can say I am excited about what is ahead.

It appears for me the medicine is being busy, focused and having a feeling of purpose. I truly hope everyone who is struggling can get the help they need, and I wish you all the best going forward.

This must be how Wallaby supporters feel.

I have very fond memories of staying at my grandparents house when the All Blacks were playing in the UK. I would sleep on the couch in the lounge, my grandmother would set an alarm, get up, wake me up, put on the TV and then pretend to be interested in the Rugby. She is long dead now but credit to her for letting a young bloke watch his idols in the middle of the night.

I was in the Police for many years. I remember one bloke, heavy meth user, broke into 30+ houses, in and out of Jail. He got out and disappeared off our radar, I thought he must have moved or died.

About 6 months later I run into him at the Supermarket. He has work boots, pants etc on and looked completely different. He spotted me and I made small talk with him. I Said "haven't seen you around" He said, "I'm too bloody tired after work to break into houses."

So after hours upon hours chasing him, going to court, years in jail. All he needed was a job.

I honestly believe the key to reducing offending is education, employment, strong family and social connections.

All the dependent drug users I engaged with couldn't have cared less about its legality. That made no difference whatsoever.

I am all for legalisation, if you want to reduce the harms of drugs you need to give people a reason not to become dependent on them in the first place. Plenty of people use alcohol responsibly and cannabis would be no different.

@Steven-Harris said in SF Blues v Brumbies:

@chimoaus i looks pretty daming , yes there may have been other calls that could have gone either way during the game , but you know what a team has time rectify any wrong doings ..but that call could have changed everything ..will take the win as a Blues supporter , but i will say i would have had no issues if the call had gone the other way ..

Every incorrect/marginal call has a sliding doors moment that could heavily impact the outcome. If White was carded for cynical play on the ground or the Brumbies try was disallowed it would have had an impact. The call was 50/50 and the Blues got the rub of the green. If the Brumbies had held onto the ball instead of going for the drop goal they may have got a penalty and won.

Sport will always have these moments and good teams take it out of the hand of the ref and focus on their roles and what they can do next.

So true it's scary.

@Godder said in Happiness Scale:

My personal rules for maintaining some semblance of happiness:

1. Don't sweat the small stuff
2. Don't worry about the stuff you can't control
3. You don't have to keep up with the Joneses
4. Don't let the bastards grind you down.
   5. Masturbate as required.

@taniwharugby said in All Blacks v Ireland - 1st Test:

assume it was covered earlier in the thread, but why did our coaching box have masks, but the Irish not?

How good was it seeing our props working as they did, and we contested lineouts, sure a couple on our line the game was already ours, but so good seeing them put someone in the air and disrupt!

Bower, Ofa and AT all offer more than scrummaging which is a bonus. If they can hold their own vs SA then their mobility is an asset. I'm not sure KT, Nepo offer enough around the park.

@No-Quarter Yep, he didn't put a foot wrong and made every post a winner. I can only see Jordan being a change this week in the starting backline.

@Billy-Tell said in All Blacks v Ireland - 1st Test:

Hope they stick with same midfield. Someone has to make way for Jordan if he’s available. Fakatava onto the bench. Would be interesting to know who woujd have been selected if Havili and Goodhue were fit. As much as Havili finished the super season well, he was poor in autumn in the NH. Goodhue is a good player but a better 13 than 12 and too slow for 13.

I suspect the only change they will make is Jordan for LF and hopefully LF takes Ennors bench spot.

The 23 I would like

Bower
ST
Ofa
BBBBR
Whitelock
Akira
Cane
Savea
Smith
Jordan
BB
QT
RI
Reece
JB

AT
Coles
Harris
SB
Paps
Faka
LF
Mounga

One of the best game analysis pieces I have seen in awhile from an Irish perspective. Shows some Dark arts by the ABs and how Park fucked up, it is well worth a read and watch The42: Analysis: 15 minutes where everything fell apart for Ireland.

Murray Kinsella

Analysis: 15 minutes where everything fell apart for Ireland

The All Blacks scored three tries in a whirlwind passage of pain for Andy Farrell’s side.

Poor Aussies dropping like flies.

@Machpants said in Australia v England - 1st Test:

Now that was a random scrum penalty

Looked like a tough one but how the fuck would I know.

Did they get him a happy blow stick, he fucken needs it.

@mariner4life said in Australia v England - 1st Test:

That's broken right?

Look like it, poor bloke.

Tom Hanks fucked his wrist?

Sweet pass to cut Australia open.