Grumpy Old Man
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When you vacuum before the wife gets home and she asks immediately upon entering "Have you vacuumed?"
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@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
When you vacuum before the wife gets home and she asks immediately upon entering "Have you vacuumed?"
People who haven't heard of robot vacuum cleaners
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
When you vacuum before the wife gets home and she asks immediately upon entering "Have you vacuumed?"
People who haven't heard of robot vacuum cleaners
It would simply change to "Is the Robot broken? Can you check it?"
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@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
It would simply change to "Is the Robot broken? Can you check it?"
Named ours "George Clooney". That worked.
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Some people have such exotic lives. What's a vacuum?
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@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
Some people have such exotic lives. What's a vacuum?
Oh I have the pleasure of "clean toilet", "do laundry", "wash dishes", "change underwear", the list is endless.
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@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
Some people have such exotic lives. What's a vacuum?
Think Steve Hansen. Brain. RWC 2019 Semi. Sam Cane.
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I have played the break everything that I put in the dishwasher card (no not the maid that I don't have)
Wife no longer no longer lets me put anything in there (dishwasher, you children).
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@Snowy said in Grumpy Old Man:
I have played the break everything that I put in the dishwasher card (no not the maid that I don't have)
Wife no longer no longer lets me put anything in there (dishwasher, you children).
Contender for the Fernies "Most Surreal Post of 2020" Award....
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@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
Wife's who remake the bed when you clearly made a lot of effort to make it the first time.
People who put 12 cushions on a bed
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@Victor-Meldrew I just know you lot too well to leave any innuendo to chance.
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@Victor-Meldrew Using my own Dad jokes on me. Nice work.
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People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
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@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
Mate, you need to subscribe to a better class of dating app.
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
Mate, you need to subscribe to a better class of dating app.
What is a "dating app?"
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
Mate, you need to subscribe to a better class of dating app.
I reckon. Grindr.....um I mean Tinder usually filters out dodgy ones like that
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@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
You share a bed with your Dad?
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
What is a "dating app?"
Ask Snowy's dishwasher...
She's busy.
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A prime minister that keeps telling me to be kind when I am a grumpy old fluffybunny. I don't want to be kind and my name is not Neve.
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@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
Wife's who remake the bed when you clearly made a lot of effort to make it the first time.
Can relate. Mrs Meldrew has been in Kent looking after elderly parents for the last 2 weeks. Stressful time which she's handled with her usual mix of aplomb, good humour & intelligence.
First words on coming home and dumping suitcase in bedroom "Have you made the bed differently?...
I think an apt reply would be "No. But the new girlfriend gave me a few ideas."
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@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
Mate, you need to subscribe to a better class of dating app.
What is a "dating app?"
Radiocarbon.
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@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Grumpy Old Man:
@reprobate said in Grumpy Old Man:
fluffybunnies who use spreadsheets like they are pieces of paper for them to make their coloured drawings on.
worthless generalists trying to tell specialists how to do things: H&S, compliance/regulatory, 'management'.people concreting the fuck out of sections so they can be 'low-maintenance'.
fat fluffybunnies with supermarket trolleys full of coke and chips.fucking clickbait shit:
'10 reasons why... Number 6 will make you...'
'person xyz DESTROYS person abc' on your chosen topic of confirmation bias.morons with strong opinions.
and whingers. them too.People who can't use capital letters.
People who add an "s" to the end of your name or spell it incorrectly when it's really fucken easy.
So is your name (I assume without capitals): really fucken easy, or: fucken easy?
(The second sounds a little Italian, to my ears).
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@Snowy said in Grumpy Old Man:
@voodoo said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who put 12 cushions on a bed
I call them "women".
Colour me surprised that you see women as mere cushions. Just the ones in the basement?
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@nostrildamus said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Grumpy Old Man:
@reprobate said in Grumpy Old Man:
fluffybunnies who use spreadsheets like they are pieces of paper for them to make their coloured drawings on.
worthless generalists trying to tell specialists how to do things: H&S, compliance/regulatory, 'management'.people concreting the fuck out of sections so they can be 'low-maintenance'.
fat fluffybunnies with supermarket trolleys full of coke and chips.fucking clickbait shit:
'10 reasons why... Number 6 will make you...'
'person xyz DESTROYS person abc' on your chosen topic of confirmation bias.morons with strong opinions.
and whingers. them too.People who can't use capital letters.
People who add an "s" to the end of your name or spell it incorrectly when it's really fucken easy.
So is your name (I assume without capitals): really fucken easy, or: fucken easy?
(The second sounds a little Italian, to my ears).Well I apparently do have Italian heritage and did grow up in a village largely settled by Italians...
Honestly it's 5 letters and 99% of the time people spell it wrong.
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@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@nostrildamus said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Grumpy Old Man:
@reprobate said in Grumpy Old Man:
fluffybunnies who use spreadsheets like they are pieces of paper for them to make their coloured drawings on.
worthless generalists trying to tell specialists how to do things: H&S, compliance/regulatory, 'management'.people concreting the fuck out of sections so they can be 'low-maintenance'.
fat fluffybunnies with supermarket trolleys full of coke and chips.fucking clickbait shit:
'10 reasons why... Number 6 will make you...'
'person xyz DESTROYS person abc' on your chosen topic of confirmation bias.morons with strong opinions.
and whingers. them too.People who can't use capital letters.
People who add an "s" to the end of your name or spell it incorrectly when it's really fucken easy.
So is your name (I assume without capitals): really fucken easy, or: fucken easy?
(The second sounds a little Italian, to my ears).Well I apparently do have Italian heritage and did grow up in a village largely settled by Italians...
>
Honestly it's 5 letters and 99% of the time people spell it wrong.People think mine is easy to spell right but I’ve had to get business cards reprinted on countless occasions
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@MN5 said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
Mate, you need to subscribe to a better class of dating app.
I reckon. Grindr.....um I mean Tinder usually filters out dodgy ones like that
Grindr farts are usually when getting out of bed .... and can be we...
I’m stopping now.
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@MN5 said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@nostrildamus said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Grumpy Old Man:
@reprobate said in Grumpy Old Man:
fluffybunnies who use spreadsheets like they are pieces of paper for them to make their coloured drawings on.
worthless generalists trying to tell specialists how to do things: H&S, compliance/regulatory, 'management'.people concreting the fuck out of sections so they can be 'low-maintenance'.
fat fluffybunnies with supermarket trolleys full of coke and chips.fucking clickbait shit:
'10 reasons why... Number 6 will make you...'
'person xyz DESTROYS person abc' on your chosen topic of confirmation bias.morons with strong opinions.
and whingers. them too.People who can't use capital letters.
People who add an "s" to the end of your name or spell it incorrectly when it's really fucken easy.
So is your name (I assume without capitals): really fucken easy, or: fucken easy?
(The second sounds a little Italian, to my ears).Well I apparently do have Italian heritage and did grow up in a village largely settled by Italians...
>
Honestly it's 5 letters and 99% of the time people spell it wrong.People think mine is easy to spell right but I’ve had to get business cards reprinted on countless occasions
So many people still not realising number 5 is alive.
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@MajorRage said in Grumpy Old Man:
@MN5 said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Victor-Meldrew said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who fart in bed and don't warn you before you get in.
Mate, you need to subscribe to a better class of dating app.
I reckon. Grindr.....um I mean Tinder usually filters out dodgy ones like that
Grindr farts are usually when getting out of bed .... and can be we...
I’m stopping now.
Oh the double entendre is strong in this one.
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You know how sometimes on the Fern a thread takes an unexpected turn, and it turns out to be awesome?
Yeah, that didn't happen here.
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@voodoo said in Grumpy Old Man:
You know how sometimes on the Fern a thread takes an unexpected turn, and it turns out to be awesome?
Yeah, that didn't happen here.
People who like to complain about things on the internet.
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Singers who randomly alter tones and elongate words in anthems at sports events so the crowd can't sing along properly.
When the whole crowd still waits until the English part of the kiwi anthem to start singing.
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@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
Singers who randomly alter tones and elongate words in anthems at sports events so the crowd can't sing along properly.
When the whole crowd still waits until the English part of the kiwi anthem to start singing.
Oh, at the rugby. I thought for a moment you were talking about a Coldplay concert.
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@Crucial said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
Singers who randomly alter tones and elongate words in anthems at sports events so the crowd can't sing along properly.
When the whole crowd still waits until the English part of the kiwi anthem to start singing.
Oh, at the rugby. I thought for a moment you were talking about a Coldplay concert.
I'm not the serial killer, that's @Snowy
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@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Snowy said in Grumpy Old Man:
@voodoo said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who put 12 cushions on a bed
I call them "women".
Colour me surprised that you see women as mere cushions. Just the ones in the basement?
No, the people who use them are not usually men.
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@Snowy said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Bones said in Grumpy Old Man:
@Snowy said in Grumpy Old Man:
@voodoo said in Grumpy Old Man:
People who put 12 cushions on a bed
I call them "women".
Colour me surprised that you see women as mere cushions. Just the ones in the basement?
No, the people who use them are not usually men.
I think you'll find there's a large quantity of men who use women.
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@voodoo said in Grumpy Old Man:
@chimoaus said in Grumpy Old Man:
Wife's who remake the bed when you clearly made a lot of effort to make it the first time.
People who put 12 cushions on a bed
Also known as me!
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Love this thread, top work.
