Pleasure and Pain Balance
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@chimoaus back to the actual content; good post.
I think there is a lot to the philosophy the set out. One of the things we find in our personal life is something quickly goes from a 'treat' to 'normal', and then you need the 'treat' again. It's crazy - people normalise so much so quickly.
Agree about the pain/pleasure thing; I think you really have to earn the 'high'. I enjoy winter as it contrasts with summer and makes us appreciate it; spending a bit of time in Singapore, there is no 'cold' - and so it's just oppressively hot the whole time. Getting things you haven't earned (both physical and experiential) is like cotton candy; nice occasionally but if you have too much, it is not good for you.
interesting observations from others, too. It seems to resonate with people.
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@nzzp Thanks, it resonated with me as it rang very true. I have a gaming addiction where I can get lost playing games and when I am down that rabbit hole, I find it very hard to enjoy other things, I just want to go back to playing games. My wife told me I have an addiction and I laughed her off and got defensive etc.
That was 12 years ago, and I am now in a good place where I have deleted all the games from my PC and Phone and find only abstinence works for me. As soon as I start playing, I fall into the same old patterns.
I thought addiction was for substances such as drugs and alcohol and I didn't really consider other behaviours such as food, gaming, social media and sex as real addictions. But they work in the exact same way in that we are forever chasing that high and we feel awful when not engaging in that behaviour.
Like everything in life, it's about balance, but this balance is hard to achieve when we are surrounded by pleasure enticing substances and behaviours.
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@chimoaus said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
I have a gaming addiction where I can get lost playing games and when I am down that rabbit hole, I find it very hard to enjoy other things, I just want to go back to playing games. My wife told me I have an addiction and I laughed her off and got defensive etc.
I think this is a very real thing and will be a big issue going forward, especially with the way the world is.
I find it very hard to enjoy other things, I just want to go back to playing games. My wife told me I have an addiction and I laughed her off and got defensive etc.
This is TR Jnr to a tee, he has a bit of a thing for a girl, so am hoping that might make him focus less on the gaming and break away from it, otherwise he is opting to stay home and play PS4 instead of anything else, one time last summer, he was being a knob, all aggro and arrogance, I took the modem with me when i went out with my wife and daughter haha.
We also changed providers a few weeks ago, and there was 2 days we had no internet, he wanted to do stuff, cos he had no choice...so is an addiction/laziness due to convenience.
I play 1 game on my phone, but no where near addicted (I did have a patch about 10 years ago an online game I played I was bordering on it though, but saw it quickly and deleted it)
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@taniwharugby said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
@chimoaus said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
I have a gaming addiction where I can get lost playing games and when I am down that rabbit hole, I find it very hard to enjoy other things, I just want to go back to playing games. My wife told me I have an addiction and I laughed her off and got defensive etc.
I play 1 game on my phone, but no where near addicted (I did have a patch about 10 years ago an online game I played I was bordering on it though, but saw it quickly and deleted it)
It's hard to get addicted to Snake bro
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
@chimoaus said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
@rancid-schnitzel 100% agree, I think working towards any tough goal that takes effort and is challenging always feels good when you reach it.
There is a real paradox that we have a mental health crisis when we have the highest standard of living ever. It kind of makes sense in this pleasure/pain paradigm as we have literally removed every possible obstacle in our way to make things as easy and pleasurable as possible.
It is no wonder many people are miserable as we are all in dopamine deficits just by the way we have engineered our lives.
I believe lots of exercise and having a creative outlet to challenge ourselves is key to achieving a more balanced life.
Yeah, I've never really thought about why affluence and fewer problems have resulted in a mental health crisis, but that makes perfect sense. It's really ironic that by making things easier and more comfortable for our kids, we're actually screwing them up in many ways.
That's something I'm really conscious of with my boy. He has things wayyyy too easy; as I've had some success in my career it's been hard to not just get him all the things I wish I had as a kid. When I see him get really upset over the most minor stuff it makes me think/realise I don't have the balance right.
I think an example of this in his life is his gaming. A lot of the games he gets on the Play store have "in-app" purchases, and manipulate people into buying shit for the immediate dopamine hit. With a game called Hungry Dragon he'll come to me and say this dragon he wants is "only $35!!". If he doesn't buy it then he has to actually play through the game to earn it. When I bought him one dragon, the next day he wanted the next one, and the next one - chasing the dopamine hit of getting the new dragon which never lasted long. After a couple of dragons I put a stop to that and told him if he wants the next one, he needs to figure out what he needs to do to get it. That forced him to go through the pain of grinding through levels etc to actually earn his reward, and he seemed a lot happier and for longer when he finally got it.
For me personally exercise is a big one. After moving to a bigger house I've set up a gym in my garage and have been loving hitting it in the mornings, I find it's the best start to the day and from a mental POV I feel like I am more balanced for the rest of the day having done something challenging to start with.
Thanks for sharing that podcast @chimoaus I will definitely have a listen.
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@taniwharugby The woman in the podcast references gaming addiction a fair bit and has it in her book also. It's fucken tough because gaming is so much fun for the user and when they game with mates it has that extra layer.
I envy those that can play casually and then put it down and do other things. I guess an alcoholic feels the same way about alcohol.
What I find interesting is why some of us become addicted to certain things and not others. Or why some people can do the exact same thing and not get addicted. Plenty of social drug users never get addicted.
I think a lot of the time the behaviour is masking some other trauma or thing we are trying to escape. The addiction gives us some relief at the time but eventually it just gets worse.
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@mn5 said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
I took my half sister and bro in law
My parents told me to never to bisect our relatives...
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@chimoaus said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
@nzzp Thanks, it resonated with me as it rang very true. I have a gaming addiction where I can get lost playing games and when I am down that rabbit hole, I find it very hard to enjoy other things, I just want to go back to playing games. My wife told me I have an addiction and I laughed her off and got defensive etc.
That was 12 years ago, and I am now in a good place where I have deleted all the games from my PC and Phone and find only abstinence works for me. As soon as I start playing, I fall into the same old patterns.
I thought addiction was for substances such as drugs and alcohol and I didn't really consider other behaviours such as food, gaming, social media and sex as real addictions. But they work in the exact same way in that we are forever chasing that high and we feel awful when not engaging in that behaviour.
Like everything in life, it's about balance, but this balance is hard to achieve when we are surrounded by pleasure enticing substances and behaviours.
I'm afraid games are typically designed to fed addictive and compulsive behaviours. I have a doctor friend overseas who said he himself has an addictive/obsessive personality and the only solution for him is to avoid them entirely.
Me as well, but luckily I get bored quickly. -
@nostrildamus said in Pleasure and Pain Balance:
I'm afraid games are typically designed to fed addictive and compulsive behaviours. I have a doctor friend overseas who said he himself has an addictive/obsessive personality and the only solution for him is to avoid them entirely.
Me as well, but luckily I get bored quickly.They do say if you have addicts in your family you have a far greater risk of becoming an addict also. I can vouch for this personally.
