Coronavirus - Overall
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@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@dogmeat said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande what about at home. Do you realise how many people die at home!!
Much better off at the pub. Statistically very few die at the boozer.
Bit like the actuarial joke about always carrying a bomb with you when flying.
Actuarial and joke in the same sentence, tough one to achieve. I used to work with a few actuaries and I suspect that they would have been serious about the bomb thing, not a joke at all.
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@snowy said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@dogmeat said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande what about at home. Do you realise how many people die at home!!
Much better off at the pub. Statistically very few die at the boozer.
Bit like the actuarial joke about always carrying a bomb with you when flying.
Actuarial and joke in the same sentence, tough one to achieve. I used to work with a few actuaries and I suspect that they would have been serious about the bomb thing, not a joke at all.
The only actuarial joke I know is directed at them.
An actuary is an accountant that couldn’t handle the excitement. -
@snowy said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@dogmeat said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande what about at home. Do you realise how many people die at home!!
Much better off at the pub. Statistically very few die at the boozer.
Bit like the actuarial joke about always carrying a bomb with you when flying.
Actuarial and joke in the same sentence, tough one to achieve. I used to work with a few actuaries and I suspect that they would have been serious about the bomb thing, not a joke at all.
The chances of there being two bombs on the same plane are infinitesimal!
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@snowy said in Coronavirus - Overall:
Actuarial and joke in the same sentence, tough one to achieve.
Told to me by the Head of Underwriting of a Life Insurance co. a few years back: "An actuary is a person who is so dull than even accountants notice"
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@victor-meldrew Exactement!
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@pakman I knew the bomb one. We weren't allowed to mention / joke about bombs when I was flying, but it was tempting at times, when we had a suspected threat, to say "it's O.K. I've got one in my bag, so what are the odds?"
@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
Told to me by the Head of Underwriting of a Life Insurance co.
I was doing some part - time work at a life insurance company when I had the pleasure of meeting a whole bunch of actuaries, a morgue had more life in it, which kind of brings us back to coronavirus...
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@snowy said in Coronavirus - Overall:
I was doing some part - time work at a life insurance company when I had the pleasure of meeting a whole bunch of actuaries, a morgue had more life in it, which kind of brings us back to coronavirus...
One of the actuaries in said firm looked like Miss Marple, wore tweed skirts, flat lace-up shoes and smelled of mothballs. But as she was under 30, she'd be quite safe from Covid....
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@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
But as she was under 30, she'd be quite safe from Covid....
Yes, and being an actuary I'm guessing that she wasn't obese. I never even saw a fat one - they knew the odds (yes) even before covid.
I wonder what the average life expectancy of an actuary is...
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I mention one thing, in all seriousness and I wake up to all this. None of you are my friends anymore.
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@snowy said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@pakman I knew the bomb one. We weren't allowed to mention / joke about bombs when I was flying, but it was tempting at times, when we had a suspected threat, to say "it's O.K. I've got one in my bag, so what are the odds?"
@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
Told to me by the Head of Underwriting of a Life Insurance co.
I was doing some part - time work at a life insurance company when I had the pleasure of meeting a whole bunch of actuaries, a morgue had more life in it, which kind of brings us back to coronavirus...
I knew a few. Amusing thing was when they pitched for business. Many firms had some PR firm 'liven' up their CVs by including outside interests and favourite football club (Premier League if they were really exciting types!).
But I also knew a couple of quite entrepeneural ones, one in particular who made £40m by growing and selling his firm!
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@catogrande said in Coronavirus - Overall:
I mention one thing, in all seriousness and I wake up to all this. None of you are my friends anymore.
It's an actuarial fact that lack of friendship reduces lifespan.
On a positive note, that mean you'll probably get a better annuity rate with your pension pot when you retire,
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@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande said in Coronavirus - Overall:
I mention one thing, in all seriousness and I wake up to all this. None of you are my friends anymore.
It's an actuarial fact that lack of friendship reduces lifespan.
On a positive note, that mean you'll probably get a better annuity rate with your pension pot when you retire,
Is your wife eligible for a widow's pension?
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@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande said in Coronavirus - Overall:
I mention one thing, in all seriousness and I wake up to all this. None of you are my friends anymore.
It's an actuarial fact that lack of friendship reduces lifespan.
On a positive note, that mean you'll probably get a better annuity rate with your pension pot when you retire,
Is your wife eligible for a widow's pension?
Not that I’ve told her.
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@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande said in Coronavirus - Overall:
I mention one thing, in all seriousness and I wake up to all this. None of you are my friends anymore.
It's an actuarial fact that lack of friendship reduces lifespan.
On a positive note, that mean you'll probably get a better annuity rate with your pension pot when you retire,
Is your wife eligible for a widow's pension?
Unlikely given there's likely to be bugger all left of value in in the wine cellar
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@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande said in Coronavirus - Overall:
I mention one thing, in all seriousness and I wake up to all this. None of you are my friends anymore.
It's an actuarial fact that lack of friendship reduces lifespan.
On a positive note, that mean you'll probably get a better annuity rate with your pension pot when you retire,
Is your wife eligible for a widow's pension?
Unlikely given there's likely to be bugger all left of value in in the wine cellar
That seems based on an assumption that you had been invited round.
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@snowy said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
one in particular who made £40m by growing and selling his firm!
Yes, but he didn't go out and buy a Spitfire after that and race it at Reno did he? He put it all in bonds and term deposits.
He'd have bought a Hawker Hurricane before a Spitfire, that's for sure. Much higher survival rate.
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@catogrande said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@pakman said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@victor-meldrew said in Coronavirus - Overall:
@catogrande said in Coronavirus - Overall:
I mention one thing, in all seriousness and I wake up to all this. None of you are my friends anymore.
It's an actuarial fact that lack of friendship reduces lifespan.
On a positive note, that mean you'll probably get a better annuity rate with your pension pot when you retire,
Is your wife eligible for a widow's pension?
Unlikely given there's likely to be bugger all left of value in in the wine cellar
That seems based on an assumption that you had been invited round.
I always bring my own booze when I visit people.
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@victor-meldrew One for the grumpy old man thread. When you take a nice bottle and it doesn't get opened and instead you get given the latest Bulgarian Shiraz and your Grand Cru is never seen again