Movie review thread...
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The One
- Jet Li. Fucking can't go wrong. Usually.
- This was obviously Jet Li having had a bit of Hollywood success, getting stoned one night...
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- Doing the schoolboy/recent-movies bullshit "who would win between Iron-Man and Hulk? Between Batman and Superman? etc etc".
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- Except Jet Li had also done a shit-tonne of coke, and was all "who would win a fight between... me... and me? Fuck, that'd be cool."
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- And Highlander just happened to be playing in the background.
- Still a guilty pleasure of mine, once in a while.
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- And obviously a guilty pleasure of Jet Li's... his absurd acting of the criminal version of himself, and the photos of his other selves... pure stoned indulgency.
- Statham is Statham.
- Fight scenes are pretty poor for a Jet Li movie... too much CGI, too many effects.
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- Fuck - now I want to watch the Once Upon A Time In China series.
- Carla Gugino is kinda hot. But...
- Tit-watch: zero
- Plenty of plot-holes. But fuck it, it's super-powered Jet-Li fighting himself.
- At least they didn't play out the whole "which one of these identical pricks is the good one?" schtick. They had to do it, but they kept it short.
- They even refrained from using the "dog smells out the bad guy" trope, and even turned it around.
3.5 over-powered-grenades out of 5 that-didn't-do-shit.
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@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
Carla Gugino is kinda
Watchmen (2009). Watch her in Watchmen.
As to the One, it's Jet Li. Enough said. Although you didn't mention Delroy Lindo. I've always liked him on the big screen and I guess he's a friend of Jet Li (Romeo Must Die)...
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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Movie review thread...:
This would be infinitely better than the poo that's on it's way. It's really weird that they made no effort to bring him back. Expect to see more talk about Goonies as well.
fuck i would watch the hell out of that, a couple of subtle call backs, picture of indy on his wall, maybe he paid for his education, am actually going to venture onto twitter to like that tweet
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@Kiwiwomble said in Movie review thread...:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Movie review thread...:
This would be infinitely better than the poo that's on it's way. It's really weird that they made no effort to bring him back. Expect to see more talk about Goonies as well.
fuck i would watch the hell out of that, a couple of subtle call backs, picture of indy on his wall, maybe he paid for his education, am actually going to venture onto twitter to like that tweet
You’re both wrong. I much prefer Shia Le boef. I don’t think he’s an annoying fuckwit at all.
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@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
The One
- Jet Li. Fucking can't go wrong. Usually.
- This was obviously Jet Li having had a bit of Hollywood success, getting stoned one night...
-
- Doing the schoolboy/recent-movies bullshit "who would win between Iron-Man and Hulk? Between Batman and Superman? etc etc".
-
- Except Jet Li had also done a shit-tonne of coke, and was all "who would win a fight between... me... and me? Fuck, that'd be cool."
-
- And Highlander just happened to be playing in the background.
- Still a guilty pleasure of mine, once in a while.
-
- And obviously a guilty pleasure of Jet Li's... his absurd acting of the criminal version of himself, and the photos of his other selves... pure stoned indulgency.
- Statham is Statham.
- Fight scenes are pretty poor for a Jet Li movie... too much CGI, too many effects.
-
- Fuck - now I want to watch the Once Upon A Time In China series.
- Carla Gugino is kinda hot. But...
- Tit-watch: zero
- Plenty of plot-holes. But fuck it, it's super-powered Jet-Li fighting himself.
- At least they didn't play out the whole "which one of these identical pricks is the good one?" schtick. They had to do it, but they kept it short.
- They even refrained from using the "dog smells out the bad guy" trope, and even turned it around.
3.5 over-powered-grenades out of 5 that-didn't-do-shit.
What ? Only kinda ? Is your dick painted on ?
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@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
The One
- Jet Li. Fucking can't go wrong. Usually.
- This was obviously Jet Li having had a bit of Hollywood success, getting stoned one night...
-
- Doing the schoolboy/recent-movies bullshit "who would win between Iron-Man and Hulk? Between Batman and Superman? etc etc".
-
- Except Jet Li had also done a shit-tonne of coke, and was all "who would win a fight between... me... and me? Fuck, that'd be cool."
-
- And Highlander just happened to be playing in the background.
- Still a guilty pleasure of mine, once in a while.
-
- And obviously a guilty pleasure of Jet Li's... his absurd acting of the criminal version of himself, and the photos of his other selves... pure stoned indulgency.
- Statham is Statham.
- Fight scenes are pretty poor for a Jet Li movie... too much CGI, too many effects.
-
- Fuck - now I want to watch the Once Upon A Time In China series.
- Carla Gugino is kinda hot. But...
- Tit-watch: zero
- Plenty of plot-holes. But fuck it, it's super-powered Jet-Li fighting himself.
- At least they didn't play out the whole "which one of these identical pricks is the good one?" schtick. They had to do it, but they kept it short.
- They even refrained from using the "dog smells out the bad guy" trope, and even turned it around.
3.5 over-powered-grenades out of 5 that-didn't-do-shit.
What ? Only kinda ? Is your dick painted on ?
Aw, fuck... I just realised that she also played the baddie's girlfriend - who, from what I took away from it, seemed to smuggle a mouse-bomb into the prison, in her vay-jay-jay. SHE was hot.
Her goodie-two-shoes character in goodie-Jet-Li's world... just didn't get the juices flowing. -
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John Wick: Chapter 4
will get no critique from me, we know what we're getting into and it doesn't fail to deliver, we re watched 3 on the weekend just as a refresher and 4 is much better the 3
5 blind assassins out of 5 sunrise duels
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@scribe said in Movie review thread...:
Tongan Ninja. Anyone seen this? Looks like it might be on YouTube.
Yep, seen it - weirdly at a tiny cinema at the film distributor's place in an Auckland tower block. Good fun - you get what it says on the tin ... a Tongan Ninja. Expect production values commensurate with the budget.
I enjoyed it, memorable special effects and all!
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I’m halfway through Everything Everywhere.
Is it fun? I guess. Is it interesting? I s’pose. Would I watch it again? You’re fucking kidding me.
How the hell this is the best movie made in a year? Guys getting superpowers by shoving objects up their asses? Hotdog finger fights?
I’m very confused.
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Finally got around to watching The Darkest Hour (2017). Churchill wrestling with the pressure to enter into peace negotiations with Germany. A stirring Gary Oldman performance and can see why he picked up a Best Actor Oscar. 4 fat Cuban cigars out of 5 downed Messerschmitts.
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@voodoo said in Movie review thread...:
How the hell this is the best movie made in a year? Guys getting superpowers by shoving objects up their asses?
If you see an interview with one of the directors you would not be surprised.
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@voodoo I tried watching it a month or so ago and lasted about ten minutes. It was just mayhem. I get that this was the premise of the film but that didn't make it any easier or enjoyable to watch.
One frazzled eyeball out of five confused brains.
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@voodoo I enjoyed it. It lagged in the middle a bit where it got even fucking stranger but overall thought the acting was very good and the imagination was spectacular. Uber surprised it got awards nominations though. Let alone actually winning.
Best super hero movie I've seen.
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Elvis. Only watched first 30 and I don't think I'll bother with the rest. I just hate Baz Luhrmanns style. I have since Romeo's and Juliet. I also get that this is a Hollywood "true story" but the Colonel never had a thick accent like that. I get the guy was an arsehole but I don't like it when they turn people into ridiculous comic book like villains.
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@dogmeat Yep. I didn’t hate it. But I didn’t love it either, I guess as evidenced by the fact that I still haven’t finished it in 2 sittings. Will watch the rest tonight I imagine.
Best superhero movie ever is a huge call. Can’t say I’m with you. In fact, it’s not even my favourite multi-dimensional movie.
That would be Dr Strange, which I have an inexplicable fondness for. I reckon I’ve seen it 5 times at least. And yet I don’t think it deserved an Oscar either.
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@voodoo said in Movie review thread...:
@dogmeat Yep. I didn’t hate it. But I didn’t love it either, I guess as evidenced by the fact that I still haven’t finished it in 2 sittings. Will watch the rest tonight I imagine.
Best superhero movie ever is a huge call. Can’t say I’m with you. In fact, it’s not even my favourite multi-dimensional movie.
That would be Dr Strange, which I have an inexplicable fondness for. I reckon I’ve seen it 5 times at least. And yet I don’t think it deserved an Oscar either.
Do you mean the first or the second Dr Strange? I think I prefer the second one!
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@nostrildamus said in Movie review thread...:
@voodoo said in Movie review thread...:
@dogmeat Yep. I didn’t hate it. But I didn’t love it either, I guess as evidenced by the fact that I still haven’t finished it in 2 sittings. Will watch the rest tonight I imagine.
Best superhero movie ever is a huge call. Can’t say I’m with you. In fact, it’s not even my favourite multi-dimensional movie.
That would be Dr Strange, which I have an inexplicable fondness for. I reckon I’ve seen it 5 times at least. And yet I don’t think it deserved an Oscar either.
Do you mean the first or the second Dr Strange? I think I prefer the second one!
I haven't seen the 2nd one!
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@voodoo said in Movie review thread...:
Best superhero movie ever is a huge call. Can’t say I’m with you. In fact, it’s not even my favourite multi-dimensional movie
I'm not really a fan of superhero movies. All a bit same, same.
I do remember enjoying Dr Strange (both) but can't recall the plots now.
I have a very visual memory so I tend not to watch movies more than once.
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