Bad/Lame Jokes

Victor Meldrew

@booboo said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Bones the kids?

"I like children. I like them well-done" - WC Fields

MN5

My Grandad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.

He told me it was worth investing in good speakers

Victor Meldrew

MN5

I wanted to learn how to do the splits so I phoned the local gym asking if they could teach me.

They asked how flexible I was, I said I can’t do Tuesdays or Thursday’s but any other days were fine.

MiketheSnow

MiketheSnow

MiketheSnow

MN5

“I’m sorry” and “I apologise” mean exactly the same thing……

Except when you’re at a funeral

No Quarter

I asked my daughter to pass me the phone book.

She laughed at me, called me a dinosaur, and handed me her iPhone.

So anyway… now the spider is dead, the iPhone is broken, and my daughter is really unhappy

MN5

I was arguing with this guy who said he was a really famous singer in the 1980s.

I didn’t believe him but he was adamant

Victor Meldrew

Bones

MN5

Everyone in the 80s listening to music on boom boxes.

That's a bit of a stereotype.

nostrildamus

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I didn’t believe him but he was adamant

I heard Marvel used his bones to make Wolverine. There must be something inside.

Victor Meldrew

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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it to be the Pharaoh Roche.

Bones

FRENCH PERSON:

I've got four twenties, ten and nine problems and the way my language counts is one of them.

MN5

@Bones said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

FRENCH PERSON:

I've got four twenties, ten and nine problems and the way my language counts is one of them.

But a bitch ain't one ?

Bones

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Bones said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

FRENCH PERSON:

I've got four twenties, ten and nine problems and the way my language counts is one of them.

But a bitch ain't one ?

You are not my problem.

Catogrande

@Bones said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Bones said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

FRENCH PERSON:

I've got four twenties, ten and nine problems and the way my language counts is one of them.

But a bitch ain't one ?

You are not my problem.

But he is your bitch?

Or am I missing something?

The Silver Fern

Bad/Lame Jokes