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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@BerniesCorner said in Happiness Scale:
Just started reading this thread. Thank you. Appreciate it. I must be more thankful for the good in my life. Best wishes to everyone.
It is important, but not always easy, to find joy and satisfaction in the little things
i say that to my wife all the time
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@Windows97 said in Happiness Scale:
This is quite an odd topic for me as I came from very humble beginnings and at a very ealry age (early 40's) I'd realsied that id achieved or over achieved everything in life I'd ever wanted to get.
So one would think hapines off the scale, sit with your feet back and clap yourself on the back for a job well done and it's all happy days from here on in.
Unfortunately this wasn't my reality, there was a line that hautned me "you will sit their in your comfort and your lesuire and it will drag you down into your grave and kill you". It sounds severe and odd but I understood exactly what it meant.
I'd become demotivated, bored, real lazy, overwieght and barely doing anything at all outside of my own enjoyment. If you looked at my behaviour youd say I was depressed, I mean I didn't feel depressed as I was happy and content but in reality I probably was.
Also though this time I underwnet two courses of conselling, 1 to help me overcome my childhood trauma (an odd way to bond with your sister when you share your experiences, both come to the exact same conlusions and then reach out for help). The second was to help me get through all the poor coping mechanism's I'd developed to deal with that trauma.
It's been a hard road realizing you've been hurt, then realizing that some of your responses to that hurt has been to hurt others, then going back into your past and apologising to try and make things right. Especially hard when you relaise that the poeple you've hurt the most have generraly been the ones that have tried to love and care for you.
Anyway this year I've been making my peace, joined the gym, got a fitness program and started as head coach of my old rugby team.
It's odd because doing all of that takes a lot of energy, but it fills me with so much more enrgy and motivation than sitting at home and taking it easy ever did. I'm helping out a heap more around the house and with the kids as I'm getting enjoyment from setting simpel goals, completing simple tasks and just being active.
I guess there's that odd line about happiness is that it doesn't come to you if you just search for happiness, you find it in people that fill their lives with purpose. Happiness then comes as a by product.
It wasn’t enough for Tony Montana. He still went nuts and shot his sister and his best mate. The World certainly wasn’t enough.
But seriously, this post is terrific and inspiring. Particularly that part about simple tasks. A few weeks back I helped my son’s stepdad and a few other good jokers dig a trench to make a stream at a kindy. The kind of job that would take one bloke several days but we smashed it out in a few hours. So awesome swinging the pickaxe, digging, wheeling the wheelbarrow and enjoying a bbq and a few beers after.
The photos we got a few days later of the kids enjoying the stream were just beautiful
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Great post and you’re right, doing nothing is very tiring.
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@Catogrande there's always the Fern...
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I miss the outdoors of NZ and when I retire plan to visit NZ more.
Catch a kahawai from Himatangi beach, weave a flax basket, float down a river on a tube, visit Mana Is, slow cook a possum, make dutch oven bread over a fire. Endless options. Good for the mind. -
Mrs Meldrew and me have just spent 2 days in Stratford-on-Avon catching up on some culture and generally chilling. Saw a stunning RSC production of A Midsummer Night's Dream and caught a back-stage tour of the theatre. Never really got into yer high culture (not that the Bard really is) but I've always liked Shakespeare ever since being introduced by an inspiration teacher in my teens so this was something else.
Adding in a country-house hotel was brilliant and this is the first time we've been able to really relax without family health, death and other issues for several years - it's been a gloriously happy couple of days
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@Victor-Meldrew Really good reminder of the importance of holidays for our mental and physical health!
I spent a quite luxurious week in Moorea last month. Apart from one day touring the island and another swimming with the sharks it is the first time I can remember when I have holidayed at less than 100kph. Normally I'm off all day cramming as much into my holiday as possible. Instead it was just sitting by the pool or diving off the deck into the lagoon, gins and beers and poison cru. Fucking fantastic being forced to slow down. Despite immoderate amounts of booze resting pulse, BP both dropped significantly.
Of course reality bit when I got back to work, but it was a real lesson for me - I'm a slow learner.
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Yep, just getting away and doing something different is so, so important and helps you focus on what really matters. It was actually a pretty full-on couple of days for us activity-wise (probably walked 15 miles) but apart from the play, we just did what we wanted to do without planning anything. So refreshing.
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Just come off two days on the Timber Trail with the better half.
Bloody good fun. Good riding, great to be outside. Hard work beside grey hairs on ebikes, but well worth it. Accommodation in the middle was excellent, and lots of interesting people.
Moderate to strong recommend from me
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
Just come off two days on the Timber Trail with the better half.
Details please? Better half would never do it but I'm keen on exploring this sort of thing.
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
Just come off two days on the Timber Trail with the better half.
Details please? Better half would never do it but I'm keen on exploring this sort of thing.
85km, two days riding with a great lodge (and bar) in the middle. It's a mountain bike track often - you have to be confident with bumps, puddles, mud, etc. Yesterday was a long day in the rain - holes and deep mud lurking occasionally, but every puddle was brown and couldn't see how deep they were.
Lots of old people doing it on ebikes. So I got to see a PLB set off - turned out to be a triple fracture of the ankle for having the wrong leg down on a turn. Helicopter goes brrrrrr.
Good summary here - basically a whole lot of old forest to start, then regenerating forest, then into a rail trail to finish. Fantastic bridges. Some sensational flowing downhills. Just good fun all round - although I feel quite beaten up as I did it on a rigid!
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@dogmeat yeah 5 weeks in NZ from the middle of December was superb, first holiday in years I haven't even flipped open the work laptop and our first holiday to NZ where we had time to not be rushing around the country almost every day. Superb for the soul.
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@Machpants said in Happiness Scale:
I'm sure it's pronounced co-burn, like the port
The voice of experience. I was trying to steer clear of what port deals in rubus cockburnianus but feel free to share I guess
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Just spent 8 days in St Lucia watching my son play cricket for 4 of them (supposed to be 5 but rain killed one day).
Nice to be in the heat again for a while, a real joy having the opportunity to do this. They won all their matches, my son didn't play anywhere near his best (which tbh isn't that high) but he got stuck in and kept on trying. Managed to bowl the only maiden of the entire tour which I think is something he could be proud of. His last spell was crazy. Got tonked for 6 on his first ball, then bowled 4 dot balls followed by a wide. Next over the maiden. Last over he didn't get hit for runs again, but his last 2 balls were wides as he was knackered.
Anyway got to know a few other parents a lot better (some good, some absolute English posh dickheads), drunk a few pitons, did 6 hours on the treadmill in total & had a cracking day out on a catamaran. Also ready 2 Ant Middleton motivation books as I'm struggling to get my shit together at the moment from a macro point of view, so that was good.
Holiday for the soul, this one.
See GOM for further thoughts.
Happiness Scale