Awesome stuff you see on the internet
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@paekakboyz said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@virgil fuck me you're still alive!!
Then again the @Mokey works in strange and mysterious ways
Define alive!
I’ve beeb too scared to check my inbox or emails the past couple days
I’m making sure my mrs opens all my packages for me too.. -
Earlier this year i had my bike set up on the trainer on the patio, and i came out in the morning to train, started the bike computer, went to get on when this fucking great Golden Huntsman walked out from under the seat. I shit myself. Those things are smaller legspan-wise, but fat! I thought it was a Tarantula.
Probably the most embarrassing moment in my life happened at my last place. I was clearing the back bank for some landscaping, and these three huge Golden Orb spiders (here is one eating a fucking bird!)
had built this enormous web (prob 5m x 2m). And raised a fucking family. There was a heap of little spiders in it. I had my mate, another kiwi there, and we didn't know what to do. So i hit them with the fly spray. Like, a can of fly spray. Killed the little ones, but just made the adults drunk. So now i had 3 huge spiders, who i had got drunk, and then wiped out their family. Needless to say i had not improved my situation. Now what? So i got the grass rake and began carefully destroying the web. Eventually i got to the first big spider. I looked over at my mate, who was supportively 5m behind me egging me on, and said "fuck it" so i hit that fucker with the rake. No spider. The fuck did that spider go? My mate goes "oh fuck! the rake" i look down at the rake and the fucking spider is climbing the handle towards me! I fearlessly chucked the rake straight at my mate and bolted. He was 2 steps behind me as we ran literally around to the other side of the house swearing the whole way. We eventually stopped and looked sheepishly at each other, and it would have been one of those things between bros, never to be mentioned again. Except my father-in-law was sitting on the patio watching these two soft kiwi idiots deal with these spiders and laughing his ass off.
Fuck spiders.
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@mariner4life fuck you live in a fucked up country.
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I have absolutely no problems with spiders, used to keep them as pets when I was a kid and can pick them up and hold them like any other insect. I seem to be in a ridiculously small minority here though - I guess I didn't get the evolutionary trait of finding them creepy/dangerous like most other humans.
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@mariner4life bro, I have tears in my eyes, that is awesome!
Gold!
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I have no issues with spiders in NZ but am a bit wary in the tropics only coz I don't know if they are the nasty bitey type.
I had a sort of Mariner moment in Noosa once. Opening the umbrella on the deck and there was a fucking enormous huntsman up in the crown (on inside). Used a broom to try and shift it and it leapt straight at my face. Bit of a shock I did manage to sweep it off the deck though and never saw it again.
I got bitten by one years ago on my porch in Auckland. Took weeks for the redness and swelling to go down and I still occasionally get itchiness from the bite.
Also they don't taste very fucking good. My least fave sautéed insect.
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@mokey maybe @mariner4life can post you a box of golden Orb spiders??
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@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
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@mokey said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
essentially harmless. Like Huntsmen. They are just huge and scary.
It's the little fuckers you can't see you have to be wary of. Redbacks, and Funnel Webs. Thankfully they live down south mainly.
Although, I've turned over a few rocks while landscaping to find some fuckers that look a lot like Funnel Webs.
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@dogmeat said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
I have no issues with spiders in NZ but am a bit wary in the tropics only coz I don't know if they are the nasty bitey type
NZ is fucking paradise. Spider? pfff that fucker won't hurt you. Long grass? no worries, you go straight through it, no Taipans there. Standing on the bank of this estuary at dusk? brilliant, no crocs to grab me. Bliss. Neighbour has chickens? No worries, no 3m pythons cruising past the laundry door to worry about.
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@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mokey said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
essentially harmless. Like Huntsmen. They are just huge and scary.
It's the little fuckers you can't see you have to be wary of. Redbacks, and Funnel Webs. Thankfully they live down south mainly.
Although, I've turned over a few rocks while landscaping to find some fuckers that look a lot like Funnel Webs.
Wait, what?
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@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mokey said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
essentially harmless. Like Huntsmen. They are just huge and scary.
It's the little fuckers you can't see you have to be wary of. Redbacks, and Funnel Webs. Thankfully they live down south mainly.
Although, I've turned over a few rocks while landscaping to find some fuckers that look a lot like Funnel Webs.
Wait, what?
Sydney is Ground Zero for the dangerous spider market. We up here have all the really bad snakes.
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@mariner4life Yeah, I have to say, I will never forget visiting some old neighbours of ours who moved to North Queensland. Oh so casual tips: careful outside in the grass cos fucking everything, glance in the loo before you go cos snakes, and glance up for plate-sized spiders.
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@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mokey said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
essentially harmless. Like Huntsmen. They are just huge and scary.
It's the little fuckers you can't see you have to be wary of. Redbacks, and Funnel Webs. Thankfully they live down south mainly.
Although, I've turned over a few rocks while landscaping to find some fuckers that look a lot like Funnel Webs.
Wait, what?
Sydney is Ground Zero for the dangerous spider market. We up here have all the really bad snakes.
I think I live up high enough to avoid most of them, thankfully. I always check the toilet bowl in Oz though.
Snakes, spiders, crocodiles, bush fires - this country is a fucking death trap.
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@mokey it's not too bad. Snakes only really bite you if you surprise them, so if you stomp around the joint you should be okay.
But, i have to say, every time i move the bins to put them out i have my heart in my mouth. Being surrounded by bush is pretty idyllic, but has its drawbacks
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@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mokey said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
essentially harmless. Like Huntsmen. They are just huge and scary.
It's the little fuckers you can't see you have to be wary of. Redbacks, and Funnel Webs. Thankfully they live down south mainly.
Although, I've turned over a few rocks while landscaping to find some fuckers that look a lot like Funnel Webs.
Wait, what?
Sydney is Ground Zero for the dangerous spider market. We up here have all the really bad snakes.
I think I live up high enough to avoid most of them, thankfully. I always check the toilet bowl in Oz though.
Snakes, spiders, crocodiles, bush fires - this country is a fucking death trap.
.. decade long droughts, Phil Gould, flies by the billions, oppressive heat
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@virgil said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mokey said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
essentially harmless. Like Huntsmen. They are just huge and scary.
It's the little fuckers you can't see you have to be wary of. Redbacks, and Funnel Webs. Thankfully they live down south mainly.
Although, I've turned over a few rocks while landscaping to find some fuckers that look a lot like Funnel Webs.
Wait, what?
Sydney is Ground Zero for the dangerous spider market. We up here have all the really bad snakes.
I think I live up high enough to avoid most of them, thankfully. I always check the toilet bowl in Oz though.
Snakes, spiders, crocodiles, bush fires - this country is a fucking death trap.
.. decade long droughts, Phil Gould, flies by the billions, oppressive heat
Werewolves , trannies with axes ....
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@jegga said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@virgil said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@nepia said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mariner4life said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@mokey said in Awesome stuff you see on the internet:
@paekakboyz Fuck no. Golden orb spiders are for amateurs.
essentially harmless. Like Huntsmen. They are just huge and scary.
It's the little fuckers you can't see you have to be wary of. Redbacks, and Funnel Webs. Thankfully they live down south mainly.
Although, I've turned over a few rocks while landscaping to find some fuckers that look a lot like Funnel Webs.
Wait, what?
Sydney is Ground Zero for the dangerous spider market. We up here have all the really bad snakes.
I think I live up high enough to avoid most of them, thankfully. I always check the toilet bowl in Oz though.
Snakes, spiders, crocodiles, bush fires - this country is a fucking death trap.
.. decade long droughts, Phil Gould, flies by the billions, oppressive heat
Werewolves , trannies with axes ....
..guys that push tinder dates off balconies 30 stories up..