Bad/Lame Jokes
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@scribe said in Bad/Lame Jokes:
I was playing Bonopoly last night, its like Monopoly but the streets have no name
That's brilliant and would easily have won the Edinburgh Fringe joke of the festival this year
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@sparky said in Bad/Lame Jokes:
He was mooooooooo-ved to tears.
Man caught having sex with cow after suspicious farmers set up CCTV sobs in court - The Mirror
Liam Brown, 25, from Bournemouth, snuck onto a farm around six miles from where he lived and committed the horrific act - where he was caught by a farmer who had set up CCTV
Liam Brown? Surprised his name isn't Hugh Heifer.
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@scribe said in Bad/Lame Jokes:
I was playing Bonopoly last night, its like Monopoly but the streets have no name
and you still haven't found what you're looking for?
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@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:
Going to prison for having sex with a cow isn’t really going to give him much street cred inside. He might find day to day existence rather tough.
Luckily he's bullish about the future.
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@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:
My wife and I have taken up woodworking.
My mate said he didn't know we were carpenters.
I said, “We've only just begun.”Love it
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Erwin Schrodinger walked into a bar.....
.....allegedly
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I bought my wife a Rampant Rabbit for her birthday. I won’t say it’s her favourite vibrator, but it’s up there.
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@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:
I bought my wife a Rampant Rabbit for her birthday. I won’t say it’s her favourite vibrator, but it’s up there.
My BiL (a surgeon) told me the following story which he swears is true...
New A&E doctor is having difficulty putting patients at ease and is recommended to try humour. Lady with a small vibrator lost in a delicate area comes in and is clearly nervous and embarrassed. Taking the advice he's been given the new doctor decides to joke about it and says the following:
"Would you like it removed or would you like the batteries replaced?"
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Doctor: "I have some good news and bad news"
Patient: "OK, Doc, tell me"
Doctor: "The bad news is we have to amputate both your feet...."
Patient: "And the good news?"
Doctor: "We have someone who wants to buy your slippers...." -
A woman with over sized labia went into hospital for an operation to reduce said affliction. When she came round after surgery she was surrounded by three bouquets of flowers. One was from her husband saying she was now the wife he always wanted. The second was from the surgeon to say he was proud of her as a patient. The last was from a bloke in the burns unit to say thanks for the new ears.
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@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:
The last was from a bloke in the burns unit to say thanks for the new
earsearmuffs.FIFY
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Elizabeth Fritzl's diary:
Monday; Stayed in. Dad shagged me.
Tuesday: Stayed in. Had to give Dad a BJ.
Wednesday: Stayed in again. Dad shagged me again.
Thursday: Didn't go out. Dad shagged me.
Friday: Stayed in again. Dad shagged me.
Saturday: Went out. Watched the Wallaby's play. Wish I'd stayed in. -
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