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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
Some really brave and candid words here and I think a reflection on perhaps how we men do need that outlet and often hold things in too much.
But I go back to the Petersen quote, which I 100% agree with in terms of "at the funeral". This doesn't mean you have to hold your emotions in check at all times. Doesn't mean you shouldn't grieve or allow yourself to be vulnerable. Doesn't mean you shouldn't cry in front of other people. But on that day IMHO you should be strong.
I've been blessed enough to not have a parent die yet but I lost my wife to breast cancer 7 years ago. She was 41, I was 38 and my two boys 12 and 9. Believe me I didnt hold it in. I was absolutely crushed. I'm still haunted by having to tell my boys that Mamma would never get better. It's something that hits me every single day.
But on the day of the funeral I was strong and there for my boys and all the people who came. I wrote the eulogy and practiced it with enough tears to flood the house. But on that day I got up there and was strong because it wasn't about me, it was about her and my boys.
Sorry for the rambling, what I'm trying to say is that you have to grieve and you have to share your emotions. But there are times you should be strong. Nothing wrong with that either.
Jesus, fair play mate, devastating.
That echoes my views re funeral and beyond to be honest, same way I approached the wedding, it was my brother and his wife's day, but also their family and friends - it wasn't about me, and I feel like that about the funeral. I was the MC and best man so coordinated most of the day, as well as gave a non-normal best man speech. I got through it, positively, but Jesus did i crash the next day. I have the same view of the funeral, I'm also speaking on the day about dad and what he meant to all of us - i am worried about this but believe i can do it (I also spoke at my father in law's funeral - so have a base to work from).
I don't want to spend my entire life pretending i'm fine when i'm not, its obviously still raw and settling into normal life is when reality has begun to hit me, but choosing the moments to crumble is tough - definitely worried i might collapse completely if i totally let it in.
Can I just say, i really appreciate this place and you guys, the honesty above is pretty special and has made a difference to me. Thanks chaps.
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@Dodge said in Happiness Scale:
just read through this thread for the first time in a while, some genuine honesty here that's pretty humbling to read.
My dad died unexpectedly 2 months ago, and my bro got married in aus less than 3 weeks later, its been a whirlwind and not in a good way. My mum was amazing through the weeks after his death but is now struggling in a big way and its heart breaking, she's a good 1hr 30 mins away from me and given my bro lives in Aus its basically down to me to look after her.
I haven't begun to deal with the loss of my dad, i don't know where to start. But i have the Jordan Peterson phrase in my head the whole time that says 'your one job is to be the strongest man at your dads funeral'.
I have a stressful job, two youngish kids and a wife who lost her own dad 3 years ago and is also grieving for mine. I have a mum who is facing the prospect of living the rest of her life without her partner and best friend - they all need me.
I know that losing a parent is a natural part of life, and I understand the challenge that says 'you're putting a lot of expectation on yourself to be there for everyone else' and lots of messages above talk about the need to look after yourself in these moments and make sure you manage your own mental health, my question is how? What do you stop doing? I can't talk to many people about it because they're either grieving or looking after their own situations, and frankly i'm not sure how talking about it helps, it just opens the door to the wider feelings which are then harder to get back in the box.
I will be strong, but i'm not sure what to do to be honest.
I just want to give you the biggest of hugs right now.
No words to help but I’m thinking of you mate!! Miss our London catch ups
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@booboo said in Happiness Scale:
chilling
There's something comforting about open fire
Incredibly still night with single figure temps. Great night to chill while burning stuff😀
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@booboo said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@booboo said in Happiness Scale:
chilling
There's something comforting about open fire
Incredibly still night with single figure temps. Great night to chill while burning stuff😀
Just need some strong spirits
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@booboo said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@booboo said in Happiness Scale:
chilling
There's something comforting about open fire
Incredibly still night with single figure temps. Great night to chill while burning stuff😀
Just need some strong spirits
Quiet Shiraz does the job 😀
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So picked up an Italian greyhound puppy a week ago, Hemi. Little fluffybunny has run us ragged but he's fucking adorable. Neither of us have had dogs before so all new, man puppies test you eh?
We've almost nailed bedtime and he's really good at heading out for a shit/piss with the very occasional accident. But playtime gets out of hand with escalating excitement including biting and the odd arm hump - as well as the typical fearlessness of the breed in thinking they can jump on/off anything.
I seem to recall there might be one or two Iggy owners on here, any and every puppy training suggestions more than welcome.... please.
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I really think that it depends on what you want for your dog. If it is a pet and part of the family, then all you really need to train is behaviour on the lead, recall and immediate obedience - sit, wait etc. if you want something more you will need some serious, specialist training. Either way, the more you put in to the training at an early age will save you lots of angst going forward.
Oh and don’t forget to shower regularly.
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@Catogrande said in Happiness Scale:
@Bones
Oh and don’t forget to shower regularly.Are you talking about Bones or the dog?
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@Bones said in Happiness Scale:
So picked up an Italian greyhound puppy a week ago, Hemi. Little fluffybunny has run us ragged but he's fucking adorable. Neither of us have had dogs before so all new, man puppies test you eh?
We've almost nailed bedtime and he's really good at heading out for a shit/piss with the very occasional accident. But playtime gets out of hand with escalating excitement including biting and the odd arm hump - as well as the typical fearlessness of the breed in thinking they can jump on/off anything.
I seem to recall there might be one or two Iggy owners on here, any and every puppy training suggestions more than welcome.... please.
We've got a boxer who's around 5 years old now but those early years were wild. At times it was just as hard as raising a kid, he'd shit everywhere, bite, claw at the walls, and he even managed to escape the house at one point.
Despite his wild behavior at a young age, he's very well behaved now because of all the hours we spent lead training, recall, showing him who was boss, little things like making sure he eats last, making him sit before treats etc. I think the most important thing though from my POV was lead training on walks and making sure you get a lead that isn't too harsh but harsh enough to bring them in to line if required.
Happiness Scale
