Defending your home
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="568722" data-time="1459417994">
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<p>Did the old bugger warm to him, learn to respect his culture and leave him a Gran Torino in his will ?</p>
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<p>None of that happened , he's still alive and still a grumpy old bastard.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Catogrande" data-cid="568699" data-time="1459413268">
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<p>I hope the wardrobe is nearby and easily accessible Nick?<br><br>
I have a fuck-off big Maglite under my bed, just in case the power ever goes down...</p>
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I have a shotgun in a locked safe in the wardrobe. Not sure how slick I'd be fumbling in the dark with the keys though. Probably better off throwing the entire safe at the bastard.</p> -
<p>I was told by a cop ages ago if you are going to hit an intruder it needs to be with something you could have conceivably just grabbed on instinct. If you had to go looking specifically for it thats bad. IE you are in bed, you hear something in the lounge, you go to the shed, get an axe, go to the longe & twat a burglar. That will go very badly for you. He favoured a bottle of Jack Daniels as it had a good grip, excellent weight, would break & get more stabby & who doesn't, conceivably, have a bottle of Jack on their bedside table?</p>
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<p>Maglite is a good one too, they are heavy as fuck. Or a huge dildo. </p> -
<p>A cop here in Thailand told me if the gate is locked and they break it or jump the fence then it's pretty much open slather and you can "protect" to your heart's content, but try not to kill them. I pushed him further about shooting the intruder "sure but aim for the leg or balls if you can. We've got too much work to do if you kill them"</p>
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<p>There'll be some truth to it, as things are still a bit less evolved and the old "you shouldn't have been there in the first place" still has a priority. But then again the whole system is shockingly corrupt and money trumps everything. It's not uncommon for Politicians, Deputy PM's kids to literally get away with murder.</p>
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<p>Not so common now but certainly in my time here, when a meth head or psycho would take a baby or kid hostage the cops were unable (unwilling) to stop the gathering mob, once the baby was safe, from kicking the guy to death.</p>
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<p>As with so many things in life when comparing east and west, neither is perfect, yet there is an unobtainable utopia lying in between (perhaps the pragmatism of the east mixed with the human rights and considerations of the west)</p>
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<p>As an aside, <em>every</em> physical fight in Asia should be deemed a fight to the death, 'cause that's what one of them is thinking for sure</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="gollum" data-cid="568732" data-time="1459421079">
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<p>I was told by a cop ages ago if you are going to hit an intruder it needs to be with something you could have conceivably just grabbed on instinct. If you had to go looking specifically for it thats bad. IE you are in bed, you hear something in the lounge, you go to the shed, get an axe, go to the longe & twat a burglar. That will go very badly for you. He favoured a bottle of Jack Daniels as it had a good grip, excellent weight, would break & get more stabby & who doesn't, conceivably, have a bottle of Jack on their bedside table?</p>
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<p>Maglite is a good one too, they are heavy as fuck. <strong>Or a huge dildo</strong>. </p>
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<p>If you hit him with that he'll really be fucked</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Gary" data-cid="568761" data-time="1459427326">
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<p>I'll hop right in here and say I think Oscar Pretorius could add some legs to this discussion about what you can do and can't do.</p>
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<p>Perhaps if he'd beaten Reeva to death with a dildo he'd have gotten off</p> -
Gotten off? He's some sick bastard if that's what it takes.
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<p>Everything is fucked. But at least its not as fucked as the States, where burglars have successfully sued homeowners for injuries they have sustained while burgling. (I'll never forget one article, the burglar was on the roof and fell through a skylight or something.)</p>
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<p>yeah the one I heard (which may or may not be urban legend kinda stuff) was where one had broken in, cut himself on a knife that had been carelessly left on the bench...however it was only form DNA they tracked the guy down (from his blood he dripped at the scene) a few weeks later, he then supposedly successfully sued the homeowners for several thousand dollars</p>
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<p>The shit Dad jokes are off the hook here fellas, keep the awful work up !</p>
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<p>Personally I have a couple of guitars or an oil heater at hand to fight off an attacker. The axes all have huge sentimental value so I guess the oil heater it is, more of a throwing weapon on account of it's unwieldy grip though..... </p>
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<p>Mokey, I vaguely remember that story too, the burglar got awarded millions if memory serves me correctly. Fucked. Up. Shit......</p> -
<p>I have my trusty cricket bat in my room and would not hesitate to use my devastating hook shot on any fuckwit that breaks in.</p>
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<p>yeah I practice my chipping in my hallway quite frequently and usually leave my club in my wardrobe, no way would I waste a bottle of JDs on some scum bag crim, be bad enough breaking the shaft of my favorite golf club over his head!</p>
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<p>Save a few mouthfuls and have a lighter on hand - fire breath that motherfucker before bottling em</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="jegga" data-cid="568801" data-time="1459456423">
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<p>Surely you'd use an empty bottle ?</p>
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<p>Funny thing is, I am more likely in normal everyday life to have a hockey stick or golf club in my room than a bottle of JDs, empty or full, my top shelf is kept, well, in the top shelf in the kitchen!</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="568802" data-time="1459456790">
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<p>If someone attempted to break into my sanctuary, they would be given a practical demonstration of medieval torture. Free of charge.</p>
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<p>You've been a very, very, bad wankpuffin haven't you! Time to step into Mokey's chamber of secrets!!</p> -
<p>wow hadnt actually seen this in the media.</p>
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<p>We had a break in when i was a kid and some guy climbed in the lounge window. The old man though was up watching sports in another room and ended up knocking the guy out before calling the cops (this was back in the 80s and they actually came out for burglaries back then). Could have ended much worse when you think about it.</p>
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<p>I also remember the old man keeping a length of 2x4 (actually slighty thinner but I'm no builder) under the bed too in case of any intruders.</p>