Guns and Strippers thread! Best ever!
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="596043" data-time="1468319424">
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<p>Bouncers don't throw you out of places like that, they throw you in.....</p>
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<p>They're more funny than sexy, last time I went ( from memory in 2011 for a stag do ) a mate of mine and I ignored one chick but<strong> gave her hotter mate a couple of mermaids $$ down the G banger.</strong> The original one came over and gave us all sorts of arseholes and didn't seem to like the fact we though her mate was better looking.</p>
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<p>Anyone who goes regularly is a fucken sadass, no two ways about it.</p>
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<p>Hows the yeast infection? Also when you say all sorts of arseholes.......</p> -
<p>I didn't actually touched any skin, money ( I was generous, about 2 dollars ) on said G banger was the only contact we had. Mates of mates of the bloke who's stag do it was got far more excited about things than we did and threw loads of money their way and got nothing in return except for the sad delusion the ho's on the stage were keen on them.</p>
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<p>One of the guys I was with fell in love with some russian skank who had the glazed over eyes you'd expect of a junkie. She gave him her "number" while she was walking around trolling for lapdances , I'm not sure if he was ever dumb enough to call it to see who answered.</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="596043" data-time="1468319424">
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<p>Bouncers don't throw you out of places like that, they throw you in.....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They're more funny than sexy, last time I went ( from memory in 2011 for a stag do ) a mate of mine and I ignored one chick but gave her hotter mate a couple of mermaids $$ down the G banger. The original one came over and gave us all sorts of arseholes and didn't seem to like the fact we though her mate was better looking.</p>
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<p>Anyone who goes regularly is a fucken sadass, no two ways about it.</p>
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<p><strong>jegga, I remember that slapper being on a "Celebrity" treasure island type show, she was repulsive enough but her boyfriend was something else. Keith Richards changing his surname to 'Rocker" would be sad enough. Some kiwi nobody doing it is beyond pathetic.</strong></p>
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<p>She was on another show before that too, she's had interesting life since then <a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/522621/Its-not-tricky-to-find-Vicky'>http://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/522621/Its-not-tricky-to-find-Vicky</a></p>
<p>I'm pretty sure she's got a couple of kids to that rocker twat , hopefully they are living with her parents looking at her lifestyle in that herald article.</p> -
<p>TBH I have never been to a strip club, they simply don't appeal to me, yes I like naked women, but prefer them to be naked just for me.</p>
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<p>I was in a stand many years ago at Big Boys Toy and Vicki Lee was doing a promo for a mens mag in the stand next door, plenty of practically naked girls were wandering around that day, was very distracting as I was supposed to be working, but at least most of the people who came to talk to me were only doing so to stand and stare....</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MN5" data-cid="596043" data-time="1468319424">
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<p>Bouncers don't throw you out of places like that, they throw you in.....</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They're more funny than sexy, last time I went ( from memory in 2011 for a stag do ) a mate of mine and I ignored one chick but gave her hotter mate a couple of mermaids $$ down the G banger. The original one came over and gave us all sorts of arseholes and didn't seem to like the fact we though her mate was better looking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anyone who goes regularly is a fucken sadass, no two ways about it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>jegga, I remember that slapper being on a "Celebrity" treasure island type show, she was repulsive enough but her boyfriend was something else. Keith Richards changing his surname to 'Rocker" would be sad enough. Some kiwi nobody doing it is beyond pathetic.</p>
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<p>We wandered into one a few years ago. There was basically no one there (might have been 10pm on a Saturday night) so the strippers/waitresses wandered over and talked to us. I got stuck talking to the ugly short stumpy one (which I can only assume was a waitress, rather than a stripper - God, I hope so). Anyway, she was making comments about how small her hands were - I looked at him, matched them up against mine and uttered something along the lines of: "yes, they are rather small - they're not unlike that of a carnie's".</p>
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<p>This did not go down well, and she then spent the next 5-10 minutes moaning about how I had called her a carnie, when clearly I hadn't - I had simply and innocently made a comparison of hand sizes between hers and someone who happens to work for a travelling carnival.</p>
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<p>It was clearly a ruse to get me to buy her a drink, which I eventually did just to shut her up. So I guess you can say she won. But she still has small hands. And may have smelt of cabbage. </p> -
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="MajorRage" data-cid="596150" data-time="1468369046">
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<p>So in an internet forum full of middle aged men, not one man enjoys strip clubs eh ...</p>
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<p>I have been a couple of times in the last decade. They are generally fun nights, but that is usually because it is some sort of occasion with long time friends. I generally dont think about the act they put on , or the personal lives, I just play pool, chew the fat with mates , and look at tits wobbling about. Not sure how that isn't fun.</p>
<p>I went about 4 years ago? And had some extra 'money' left over so I kept it in my sock drawer as you you do...</p>
<p>Then about 2 months ago, we had a sort of stag do, and as I was getting picked up by my mates... the wife runs out and loudly announces... 'Don't forget your porn money love!' and hands the 'money' to me.</p>
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<p>She killed the magic dead.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="596130" data-time="1468365374">
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<p>TBH I have never been to a strip club, they simply don't appeal to me, yes I like naked women, but prefer them to be naked just for me.</p>
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<p>I've helped many a young lady through college after finding them so destitute they could only afford to wear skimpy clothing, huddling under a spotlight for warmth. Sitting around with mates drinking beer with T&A all around - there are worse ways to spend an evening.</p> -
<p>I used to go to Santa Fe in Wellington a bit, my mate from work was a dodgy asian who fucking loved the place. </p>
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<p>But i kind of had to stop going due to a promise i made to the missus just after we were married. She's not a fan, or even tolerant really (she's no less militant about it now than she was then going by a conversation on Saturday night). Anyway, i had the usual bucks night, big piss up at a mates house, with titties girls getting everyone drinks, and then an "entertainer" who turned up later and put on a show. It was the usual fare, i was ritually humiliated as part of her act, bitch ripped my shirt, and ruined my favourite pair of boxers with hot wax. I ended up nude. </p>
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<p>Anyway, guests at party included not only her old man, but a long-time mate of her parents. Despite the repeated calls of "no photos" (are people still dicks about this?) it appears a few were taken. This mate of her old man's not only took photos, he thought it would be a good idea to show them to Mrs Mariner, like she might want a record of the evening? Fucking really? I remember being at footy training, and coming home to them all over for a BBQ or something, and it was frosty as hell ( i think it was about 2 weeks after the wedding?) but i was oblivious to the cause. After everyone left though, boy did the shit hit the fan. There was tears and yelling, and promises made. I thought i was getting divorced. Thankfully the photos weren't too bad, they could have been a lot worse (at one point i was doing press ups with a dildo in my mouth smashing it in to her box, that would have been hard to explain). Basically i promised to stay out of the strip clubs.</p>
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<p>And I've done pretty well to keep that promise. I reckon it's been twice, once on the Goldy on a footy trip, and the previously mentioned world cup final. We did used to get titty girls for silly sunday every year though. </p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="mariner4life" data-cid="596164" data-time="1468371249">
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<p>Anyway, guests at party included not only her old man, but a long-time mate of her parents. Despite the repeated calls of "no photos" (are people still dicks about this?) it appears a few were taken. This mate of her old man's not only took photos, he thought it would be a good idea to show them to Mrs Mariner, like she might want a record of the evening? Fucking really?</p>
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<p>I'd have given the prick a smack in the head to re-calibrate him.</p> -
<p>I was fucking close, as were more than a few of the boys. But it would have created more shit, and i was all about keeping the waters calm for a while. I didn't speak to the fluffybunny for 5 years (not even a hello when at the same engagements) and he's never been back to our house. </p>
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<p>I shouted the Missus to Dita Von Teese for her birthday a few weeks back when she was in Sydney.</p>
<p>Organised a Meet and Greet too... on account of, you know, the missus being a longtime fan or something.</p>
<p>Great show - amazing visuals, some of the scenes were almost dreamlike. </p>
<p>Not a fan of strip clubs otherwise. </p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="antipodean" data-cid="596165" data-time="1468371580">
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<p>I'd have given the prick a smack in the head to re-calibrate him.</p>
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<p>Mariners a lover not a fighter.</p>
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<p>I've always fucken hated people taking the moral high ground, there was a bloke who used to come out on work pissups with us and never touch a drop only cos he loved telling people on Monday about how drunk and stupid they got. I don't mind people coming out in town and not drinking if they're good fun, minders and there's a chance of a lift home afterwards but this guy was just a fuckwit who did get smacked by a mate of mine which was rather amusing.</p>
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<p>I know most guys on here are my age or thereabouts so I think we can all be thankful camera phones were only in their infancy during our glory days of drinking.........</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Tim" data-cid="596166" data-time="1468371739">
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<p>M4L, IIRC, your wife is Polish? is this a catholic thing?</p>
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<p>yep, Polish. So was he. </p>
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<p>A catholic thing? Nah man, i doubt that's it. To be honest i don't know what it is.</p>
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<p>Her comment during a discussion on the weekend was "why would you look there when you can get it at home?". I looked at her and said "um, we've been married for 10 years, get what at home?" Thankfully she's a happy drunk, and saw the humour in it.</p> -
<p>This is great.</p>
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<p>I'm not going to name-drop the ferner but when we were in London, we would be out on the booze and his misses (Bless her, and they are still together) would be the one to initiate the move each boozed night to the jack the rippers!!</p>