Building myself back up
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Saturday was much needed day off. Didn't sleep well and was buggered most of the day. Had epic meal of beef nachos for lunch and took it way too far. Didn't make me any less tired. Went to bed before kids. Absolutely knackered.
Got up at the crack of dawn and did the 5km run then 5 laps of oval plus burpee push ups and dips. Sensational stuff.
Then youngest had rugby. Then I worked for 2 hours. Then I mowed the lawn. Then I cleaned the pool and weeded the garden. Then I swam with eldest for 1km.
I then made dinner and promptly passed out.
Today: Up early for legs. Went OK but was distracted by an old timer telling me about how he'd smoked pot every day since he was 16. It was his 68th birthday and had taken a few drags before hitting the gym that morning. He really wasn't with it. Has there ever been a reality TV show about a gym?
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Thursday already.
Trained in afternoon for once and body wasnt happy. Was a bit weird actually.
Chest and biceps - Dropsets all the way. Got a seriously mean pump on.
Off to coast tomorrow for a few days. Can't farking wait.
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Been up the coast for 5 days. Thought the break would be nice but tbh on the change in routine and diet hasn't been particularly positive. Yes I love going in the surf and I've had some nice long runs but the down time is hard. It's like I've found a way to keep my head above water and any slight change to that balance puts me under. Seeing young families all together is also really hard. Too many memories. Hopefully I'll be able to move on one day. I'd very much like to have a new partner and I think my boys definitely need a female's influence at home, but I feel guilty even having these thoughts. It's seems terrible that the only way I can really move on with the next part of my life is to find a replacement.
The youngest at least keeps me extremely active. Have walked endless kms following him on the skateboard. So proud of him.
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@rancid-schnitzel aw man, that must have been really tough mate. You are clearly all about your kids so hopefully you aren't feeling that they are lacking any attention or anything like that.
How soon is too soon? fark, that is a rough thing to face - but nothing in your future relationships means that what came before means any less. I am sure your wife wanted you and your boys to be happy, and live life to its fullest. Would also strongly suspect she wouldn't want you to feel guilty about finding someone, or that a certain timeline has to be followed etc
I know this sounds awful but perhaps a Tinder blitz or something could be cathartic? at least to separate the shorter term physical side of things from an immediate search for a relationship? Failing that (lol I am no help at all) keeping yourself well connected socially through kids (and your own) sport. training etc will mean you are meeting people.
Big ups for sharing this stuff too RS. Take care of yourself, and hollah if you ever need a yarn.
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@paekakboyz said in Building myself back up:
@rancid-schnitzel aw man, that must have been really tough mate. You are clearly all about your kids so hopefully you aren't feeling that they are lacking any attention or anything like that.
How soon is too soon? fark, that is a rough thing to face - but nothing in your future relationships means that what came before means any less. I am sure your wife wanted you and your boys to be happy, and live life to its fullest. Would also strongly suspect she wouldn't want you to feel guilty about finding someone, or that a certain timeline has to be followed etc
I know this sounds awful but perhaps a Tinder blitz or something could be cathartic? at least to separate the shorter term physical side of things from an immediate search for a relationship? Failing that (lol I am no help at all) keeping yourself well connected socially through kids (and your own) sport. training etc will mean you are meeting people.
Big ups for sharing this stuff too RS. Take care of yourself, and hollah if you ever need a yarn.
Thanks for that mate. Really appreciate you taking the time to write such kind words. Your advice also seems very sound.
It's just all really weird and scary. I met my wife when I was 19 (20 years ago). This whole idea of dating or Tinder is totally bizarre.
I recall people like Nigela Lawson and Glen McGrath being criticised for hooking up with new people so quickly but I totally get it now. When you're so used to having someone there with you at all times it's extremely hard when you're suddenly alone.
Maybe I can get a Brady Bunch type thing going
Thanks again mate.
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Dude! no worries at all. Big respect for sharing how things are going. I hope that continues - esp if your Tinder career takes off
Like you I met my partner at 19, and I turn 40 this year so we are pretty much 20 years deep too. So I feel like I can empathise around the wtf feeling of starting again with someone else - if I had to get back into the dating game (or whatever it's called) I would 100% shit my pants ha ha... ummm do modern chicks find that endearing!!??
Remember you can just say @MN5 three times aloud and he pops up with Tinder tidbits... I mean Tinder advice... ummm MN5, MN5, MN5 over to you bro!
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takes real courage to be able to open up about that mate. Glad you feel you can. I have zero advice other than continue to air stuff rather than let it bottle up.
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@paekakboyz said in Building myself back up:
Dude! no worries at all. Big respect for sharing how things are going. I hope that continues - esp if your Tinder career takes off
Like you I met my partner at 19, and I turn 40 this year so we are pretty much 20 years deep too. So I feel like I can empathise around the wtf feeling of starting again with someone else - if I had to get back into the dating game (or whatever it's called) I would 100% shit my pants ha ha... ummm do modern chicks find that endearing!!??
Remember you can just say @MN5 three times aloud and he pops up with Tinder tidbits... I mean Tinder advice... ummm MN5, MN5, MN5 over to you bro!
I certainly had lots of Tinder titbits in my time. Amazing how easy ( desperate ) some women are. Naturally the panties dropped the moment I mentioned I was a pretty big deal on TSF too.
Obviously completely up to you Rancid, I can't begin to imagine what you're going through and as others have said good on ya for opening up. Everyone around about our sort of age has baggage/kids/mental issues so feel free to have a hoon at a 20 year old. Of course she's likely to have Daddy issues, be irritating as fuck, send you 'adorable' selfies of her with doggy ears and a tongue, use shitty text speak like 'lolz, soz, k etc' and expect you to have an endless supply of cash.
So I've heard anyway.
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Solid gold @MN5🖒
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@rancid-schnitzel You're smashing it mate, takes a real strength in what you are doing.
As a single late 30's guy I find Tinder a bit rubbish (might be the heavy radical feminist presence in Victoria..also maybe my inability to not to argue a point after a pint) I find RSVP is a lot better if you're looking for something more serious when you're ready for it, of course meeting through social activities always best.
Speaking of Brady bunch my mother married her perfect guy 12 years ago, both of them single parents with 5 children each, still going strong today.
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@rembrandt said in Building myself back up:
@rancid-schnitzel You're smashing it mate, takes a real strength in what you are doing.
As a single late 30's guy I find Tinder a bit rubbish (might be the heavy radical feminist presence in Victoria..also maybe my inability to not to argue a point after a pint) I find RSVP is a lot better if you're looking for something more serious when you're ready for it, of course meeting through social activities always best.
Speaking of Brady bunch my mother married her perfect guy 12 years ago, both of them single parents with 5 children each, still going strong today.
You must be doing it wrong. You always have to ask if the girl is DTF.
Also are you sure it wasn't Grindr you were on?
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@mn5 said in Building myself back up:
@rembrandt said in Building myself back up:
@rancid-schnitzel You're smashing it mate, takes a real strength in what you are doing.
As a single late 30's guy I find Tinder a bit rubbish (might be the heavy radical feminist presence in Victoria..also maybe my inability to not to argue a point after a pint) I find RSVP is a lot better if you're looking for something more serious when you're ready for it, of course meeting through social activities always best.
Speaking of Brady bunch my mother married her perfect guy 12 years ago, both of them single parents with 5 children each, still going strong today.
You must be doing it wrong. You always have to ask if the girl is DTF.
Also are you sure it wasn't Grindr you were on?
Ha well from my limited experience in gay clubs (#metoo) I would absolutely dominate Grindr if I was that way inclined, gay blokes have it easy by comparison.
Probably am using Tinder wrong, had a mate show me the 'right' way a few weeks back, pretty phenomenal what you can organise with a few short messages in about 10 mins if you don't care about your face being associated with a dodgy as profile message..and you aint too picky about who you're swiping at.
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Well this took an unexpected turn
Thanks again all of you.
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@rembrandt said in Building myself back up:
and you aint too picky about who you're swiping at.
It's not your job to be picky. You should always swipe right and let them do the filtering. Then you just need to determine how much to drink.
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@antipodean you are a braver man than me. Saw someone the other day showing off her multi-coloured arm-pit hair, her profile was about smashing the patriarchy...honestly I'd be afraid that dating and maybe turning down some of these ideologues would be tantamount to sexual assault in their world, not worth the risk even if they happen to be good looking.
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@rembrandt said in Building myself back up:
@antipodean you are a braver man than me. Saw someone the other day showing off her multi-coloured arm-pit hair, her profile was about smashing the patriarchy...honestly I'd be afraid that dating and maybe turning down some of these ideologues would be tantamount to sexual assault in their world, not worth the risk even if they happen to be good looking.
Christ, I hope there was no minge photos....
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Now I'm genuinely scared. Reckon it's safer if I just live like a monk.
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@rancid-schnitzel You'll be alright. The crazies are generally very proud of their craziness, if its not in their profile it'll be the very first thing they talk about.
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@paekakboyz said in Building myself back up:
Keep the fucker guessing RS!!
Got access to any Kettle Bells? If so hollah and I'll flick you some links to stuff we do semi-regularly. A standing one armed KB press is mean as for shoulders and lats. Just be careful of your rep range... wouldn't want to stray into cardio land by accident
Not sure if you are doing anything specific for mobility etc but Turkish Get-ups are gold-plated magic. Hits everything you want, legs, hips, core, shoulders, upper back, and by adding weight you can up the ante as needed.
Clean and press or just press? Agree that kettlebells are the nuts, with swings and get-ups being really tough work. Back along when I was a bit fitter and not quite so broken, I'd slip in two minutes of get-ups into a work out and you're right, it hits you all over.
I'm trying to get some semblance of fitness back and kettlebells are featuring quite strongly. My (least) favourite is a 12 minute routine of 2 minutes of swings followed but 2 minutes of skipping x 3. I'm pretty much shagged after that. You can up the intensity of the swings by increasing the weight. I used to use a 16kg bell but have only just worked back up to a 12 kg one now.