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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@taniwharugby said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA I always thought I'd keep working, at least in a part-time capacity, however since having those 6 weeks or whatever it was at home during Covid, I'd def be retiring, or at least doing something much less taxing on my time.
A mill would be sufficient for me to make significant changes.
Oh, I dont buy lotto tickets so, no chance anyway!
I buy on occasion but never win. Bloody scam 😒
I'm due!
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@nzzp up vote for the Dan Pink reference - we used his work in bargaining at my last employer to eliminate performance pay which increased happiness at work significantly.
$3M should easily be enough to retire on - pay off all debt including a house, so no rent, and the remainder should be enough at $50K pa.
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@Godder cheers fella,
I talk about it a fair bit in recruitment. Contrast culture and how it delivers an ultimately more satisfying job experience.
I'm actually really proud of our business right now. We have gone OK through Covid, but wound up with unexpected profits because expenses got absolutely slashed. No travel, no entertaining, etc. So we're sharing some of teh windfall with the rank and file - it's outstanding living the company values. A nice wee christmas bonus for the folks who make a real difference but aren't owners. Sensational.
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It's a funny old conundrum.
My old man is 76 and has only really truly stepped away from work in the last few months. Despite the stress ( but huge rewards ) it was his life. He has since filled it with his grandsons, gardening, playing music and bike riding ( yes, the latter means he is the very embodiment of what I hate ). It was funny getting a call from him the other day, I was expecting some sort of question about the boys, wondering if I could help move something.....but no....he was just ringing to chew the fat. It was nice.
@nzzp perhaps I need to read up on that. I have the autonomy ( sometimes I feel I'm basically self employed in that I'll go a week or longer without the need to talk to head office ) mastery ? ( I can sell but I've always been laughably bad with technology ) and maybe with sense of purpose I'll replace it with "belief"....which I have in spades.
The "win lotto" is an interesting one. I have very little close family.....what do you do ? make sure folks, boys and mrs are sorted then what ? I think a life of leisure would get fucken boring after awhile. I already have the income to get hammered on my drug of choice ( booze ) whenever I want.
I remember years ago when I worked for telecom ( as it was ) we went to some wanky sales training. The guy running it showed some slides of Tiger Woods house, as you can all imagine it was off the charts. The point of all of that was that Tiger had "made it" but was still out there practicing, winning majors......etcetc. He had nothing to drive him except the competitive edge. But then does that make the person ?
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@Godder said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp up vote for the Dan Pink reference - we used his work in bargaining at my last employer to eliminate performance pay which increased happiness at work significantly.
Interesting. We don't really do performance pay, and a lot of that is because it's so damn hard to measure. One dude brought in a client that's been worth literally tens of millions to the firm over the last few decades. What's our conversation: what have you done for me lately? Also, we all know people who have been unfairly treated by managers - either positively or negatively.
THat said, the overall success of the business is performance pay in a roundabout way - just a collectivised version of it
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life awesome.
I don't get people who say they'd keep working if they won the lottery. Sure, it needs to be enough of a win to quit work, but FFS anything north of $3M and you can't quit, you need to have a look at yourself...
You still need a purpose though.
Having said that $3mil?
$1mil would go close to seeing us sweet I reckon.
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@booboo said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life awesome.
I don't get people who say they'd keep working if they won the lottery. Sure, it needs to be enough of a win to quit work, but FFS anything north of $3M and you can't quit, you need to have a look at yourself...
You still need a purpose though.
Having said that $3mil?
$1mil would close towouling us sweet I reckon.
My net spend per year is in the £30k neighbourhood and my missus & I do most of the things we want to do each year.
I’m 54 and the oldest male in my family got to 74.
So not going crazy and accounting for inflation, a cool Dr Evil “1 million dollars’ (well pounds) would see me home & hosed.
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@booboo said in Happiness Scale:
You still need a purpose though.
"Doing whatever the fuck I want" sounds just fine n dandy.
Running my rugby club without having to find hours in the day.
Helping other rugby clubs do their thing as well using what I've learned (the hard way) about community grants and social media etc.
Running clinics in schools.
Refereeing.
Playing.Yeah I reckon I can find stuff
Having said that $3mil?
$1mil would close towouling us sweet I reckon.
I could quit on $1M but not for that long. OK if the wife wants to keep working - and she probably will because she'd go mental if she didn't have work to go mental over.
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I quit in 2017 from the well paid, high stress job. It took me 6 months before I started missing it. It took me 8 months to get the desire to get back in. At 10 months I started to get depressed as I realised that what I do is all about who you know, and my chances of getting a job in a different location were extremely slim. Then I got offered a lifeline and here I am.
Roller coaster weekend for me though. Got a message last Friday which I misread which made me think my job is in doubt. This isn't necessarily a bad thing as it's a political toilet at the moment. However, with Covid, job fluidity is zero, so it could lead to a barren few months. Worrying. But then I got an intro from a mate about a potential VC backed opportunity on something I know everything about.
So I've started looking into that, whilst discovering this morning that my current job isn't as at risk as I thought.
I must say though, how much the roller coaster weekend has had my mental health swinging is something I need to look at. It's not healthy to go from utterly depressed on Friday night to over the moon Monday morning
Wow, that wandered. The overarching point is don't put a figure on when you'd retire/walk-away/do something different. IT doesn't work like that. Walk away when you want to walk away.
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@MN5 It’s great that your Dad is enjoying himself, but keep an eye on him mate. Some people define themselves by their work and when it’s gone it leaves a massive hole in your life, that’s for sure. It’s not an easy transition and he may well miss the work and especially the relationships.
I retired. Loved it for 6 months, then got to hate it so now I have myself a job again. I know now that I’ll work till I can’t anymore, then I’ll probably die shortly after. That’s just how it is and I’m fine with that.
I feel bad for anybody who does a job they don’t enjoy. My life now could hardly be more different to what it was but I still get a kick out of heading to work every day. I think you have to nut out what it is that makes you tick and if that is work find a way to get someone to pay you to do what you love. And if you can’t get someone to pay, seriously consider reconfiguring your life so you can do it for nothing. And if what makes you tick is not working, well I don’t get that, but all power to you.
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@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
I quit in 2017 from the well paid, high stress job. It took me 6 months before I started missing it. It took me 8 months to get the desire to get back in. At 10 months I started to get depressed as I realised that what I do is all about who you know, and my chances of getting a job in a different location were extremely slim. Then I got offered a lifeline and here I am.
Roller coaster weekend for me though. Got a message last Friday which I misread which made me think my job is in doubt. This isn't necessarily a bad thing as it's a political toilet at the moment. However, with Covid, job fluidity is zero, so it could lead to a barren few months. Worrying. But then I got an intro from a mate about a potential VC backed opportunity on something I know everything about.
So I've started looking into that, whilst discovering this morning that my current job isn't as at risk as I thought.
> I must say though, how much the roller coaster weekend has had my mental health swinging is something I need to look at. It's not healthy to go from utterly depressed on Friday night to over the moon Monday morning
Wow, that wandered. The overarching point is don't put a figure on when you'd retire/walk-away/do something different. IT doesn't work like that. Walk away when you want to walk away.
Just on that bit specifically, I've been in exactly that boat this year, lots of wild swings, and way more anxiety than normal. But I take heart from what @Catogrande said earlier, you have to step back and realise we are in a a very abnormal year. 2020 is probably not the time to be making huge life decisions or judging yourself for your mood swings. It's a year for going easy on yourself and others, cutting slack where you may not otherwise have done so. Ride this shitstorm out then reassess!
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@Godder said in Happiness Scale:
@nzzp up vote for the Dan Pink reference - we used his work in bargaining at my last employer to eliminate performance pay which increased happiness at work significantly.
$3M should easily be enough to retire on - pay off all debt including a house, so no rent, and the remainder should be enough at $50K pa.
Agreed. Debt-free and enough leftover to live off some passive investments, which tend to compound over time. There's not a lot I'd change about my current lifestyle, so if I could continue without having to work a conventional job I would jump at the chance.
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@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
I must say though, how much the roller coaster weekend has had my mental health swinging is something I need to look at. It's not healthy to go from utterly depressed on Friday night to over the moon Monday morning
it's late December 2020; don't beat yourself up about that. Everyone seems to be in a weird mental place at the back end of this year
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@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
Walk away when you want to walk away.
Well.... you've just described the last decade for me
Not sure the wife would understand
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
I could quit on $1M but not for that long. OK if the wife wants to keep working - and she probably will because she'd go mental if she didn't have work to go mental over.
dont tell her about the win then
Thats what this line of posting is about, you won a mill and after advice right?
We had a couple guys from work retire this year, in thier mid-50's.
One is missing it big time, but we never see him, the other reckons he is loving being retired but is in every week...
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@nzzp said in Happiness Scale:
Interesting. We don't really do performance pay, and a lot of that is because it's so damn hard to measure. One dude brought in a client that's been worth literally tens of millions to the firm over the last few decades. What's our conversation: what have you done for me lately? Also, we all know people who have been unfairly treated by managers - either positively or negatively.
THat said, the overall success of the business is performance pay in a roundabout way - just a collectivised version of it
We operate off salary with a bonus of up to 20% as an "Incentive". But it is flexible as shit IF you're in management, of course.
e.g. a few years ago I built a system that helped saved the business ~$10M a year, and tried to hang my hat on that, but got marked down because I was a bit grumpy every now and then.
Took the wind right out of my sails and, in my defensiveness, I wasn't smart enough to counter by asking them where in my regular 1on1 that was announced in the previous 6 months. Ultimately I gave them an easy way to save a few thousand off their budget so I had to wear that.However, at the same time I figured working for those fluffybunnies was not my thing, and put into action my plan to get to long service, take a solo trip to NZ, and then come back and tell them to shove it.
Fortunately my current role landed in my lap, and the culture has changed quite a bit in that regard, but ultimately it is still the Republic of Corporatania. People say I'm not necessarily part of the ExCo so can't see the big picture, but I've been doing this for 20+ years now, and am not a fucking idiot. I can see a land grab, and how certain incompetent people have burned too much money to be allowed to fail at this point without making everyone above them look bad.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
We operate off salary with a bonus of up to 20% as an "Incentive". But it is flexible as shit IF you're in management, of course.
e.g. a few years ago I built a system that helped saved the business ~$10M a year, and tried to hang my hat on that, but got marked down because I was a bit grumpy every now and then.The more I think about it, the more this sounds like my sex life: you can do awesome things and anticipate a root, but ONE little comment and NO SOUP FOR YOU!
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
The more I think about it, the more this sounds like my sex life: you can do awesome things and anticipate a root, but ONE little comment and NO SOUP FOR YOU!
Given that this is a happiness thread you really need to find some way to change that.
My wife calls sex a misdemeanour - the more you miss de meaner you get - which is certainly true in my case, and she knows it is true for both of us.
Yes I have just become the piston wristed gibbon who's wife enjoys sex that was mentioned somewhere on here. Except that is a contradiction really. It shouldn't be some threat or reward and I have been in some relationships like that previously - they didn't last long.
Happy wife, happy life is my motto that I try and remind myself of regularly.
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@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
Given that this is a happiness thread you really need to find some way to change that.
I've tried almost everything within the realms of possibility, and haven't received anything but grief for bringing it up. I get the usual reaction of "typical man just after sex", and of late (since her Mum's dementia) tears and fights and grief . Therefore I simply don't bring it up.
A female friend of mine asked if I'd suggested we do couples counselling, so that it doesn't just look like me asking for sex (like a crazed maniac, of course) but she won't even go see someone about the obvious issues around her Mum's impending loss.
In fact another therapist that I was seeing about work anxiety also suggested that, and seemed significantly concerned that she wasn't open to counselling for the grief or the couples thing.@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
Yes I have just become the piston wristed gibbon who's wife enjoys sex that was mentioned somewhere on here.
piston wristed gibbon!
It shouldn't be some threat or reward
It isn't "used" like a punishment or reward. I am coming around to the opinion that sex does not sit very high on her priorities list.
Fuck it did the week I got back from NZ in 2017 tho. Things picked up significantly for a while there - absence makes the heart grow fonder etc. Makes me think I should do that again
Her ongoing willingness to kill herself for work, by contrast, is frustrating. In fact, I think a lot of her inability to discuss the issue relates to her work: because she's often the smartest person in the room 9-5, she's not used to hearing any form of dialogue that indicates she's not 100% right. Therefore, when I bring something to the table about my needs, she only sees criticism, and she's not equipped / mature enough to deal with that on its merits and look for a way forward.
And like a lot of women I know, she needs to be unhappy to be happy, so working excess hours fits like a glove.
(Yes I know that isn't all women, but these are the women I'm dealing with).
It makes me question the state of the relationship, to the point where it generates significant anxiety for me. But as I've told a couple of therapists: there is no point me paying you to give advice that can't be meaningfully implemented.
Happiness Scale
