Beer thread
-
@tim said in Beer thread:
Whatever happened to the Croucher Brothers?
Online store here http://www.croucherbrewing.co.nz/
-
@roninwc said in Beer thread:
A small personal win yesterday that might amount to a big change so decided to celebrate a little with some good beers.
Decided on going with a GP tasting.
All awesome, preferred the Jan over the Dec. Party & Bullshit is one of my all time favourites and that Green Cheek X Hapi Sessions Vol. 7 is a monster. 9% of West Coast IIPA goodness, one of the best beers I've had.
By the end of that tasting, I was quite toasty
Damn you Craft beers for being so tasty but also so bloating and fattening.
Have tried all of those bar the Green Creek. All very good bar the Fresh IPA which was a bit too "Orange juice" for my tastes.
-
Sunshine Brewing's Gisborne Gold light lager is very good, but their Gisborne Green pilsner isn't. No real malt body, no good bitter hop flavours or aftertaste. Actually, aftertaste is a bit sweet. Just needed to be a bigger and more bitter version of the lager, without being a psuedo IPA. Disappointing! Ordered direct from brewery, so freshness should not be an issue.
-
-
@nzzp said in Beer thread:
@tim cheers for the review.
I just got triggered by seeing Tui described as an 'IPA'. Wow, marketers are bold.
'I like IPA as I like Tui'. Yeah right
Tui is a scourge upon our entire society. Fuck Tui.
It looks and tastes like Speight’s with a little bit of poo mixed in. It’s exactly the same as every other generic NZ Draught style beer, but somehow manages to be worse.
On the nose, I detect subtle notes of wet dog and semen. It tastes almost entirely of malt and carbonation. It’s difficult to identify any one particular flavour, but I would have to choose… farts. Not necessarily bad farts. Kind of OK, like the way your own farts smell. It’s technically gross, but you can somewhat appreciate it. The aftertaste is just a hit of sweetness and drymouth. I get the feeling the brewers may have forgotten to add the hops.
They claim to be an ‘East India Pale Ale’, which is the biggest crock of shit since the ‘totally real’ moon landing. The IPA was invented because adding a lot of bitter hops to beer meant it could last the entire journey from Britain to India without going off. Tui couldn’t even make it to Nan’s and back. It lies to your face with all the subtlety of Aaron Smith claiming he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
It tastes like how Michael Cheika’s face looks. It tastes like how a toothy blowjob feels. It tastes like how Max Key’s music sounds. It tastes bad.
Tui ads used to have the line, “You’re a man, you know what you like, and you like what you know”. Well I’m pretty sure I don’t like fermented camel piss in a can, so Tui is out the proverbial fucking window.
The worst part is that you can’t even get properly drunk off this shit. It’s a well-known fact that your liver processes one 4% beer in the time that it takes for you to drink a 4% beer. It’s barely even alcohol. You need a proper finisher, like Diesels, to have a good night. While you’re at it, get a good starter too, maybe like Diesels. Fuck it; just drink Diesels.
Tui? Yeah Right
Taste Rating: Fucking shit/10
Froth Level: The All Blacks in the 2008 RWC quarterfinals.
Pairs well with: Having no tastebuds, sense of shame, or self-respect.
-
@mn5 said in Beer thread:
@nzzp said in Beer thread:
@tim cheers for the review.
I just got triggered by seeing Tui described as an 'IPA'. Wow, marketers are bold.
'I like IPA as I like Tui'. Yeah right
Tui is a scourge upon our entire society. Fuck Tui.
It looks and tastes like Speight’s with a little bit of poo mixed in. It’s exactly the same as every other generic NZ Draught style beer, but somehow manages to be worse.
On the nose, I detect subtle notes of wet dog and semen. It tastes almost entirely of malt and carbonation. It’s difficult to identify any one particular flavour, but I would have to choose… farts. Not necessarily bad farts. Kind of OK, like the way your own farts smell. It’s technically gross, but you can somewhat appreciate it. The aftertaste is just a hit of sweetness and drymouth. I get the feeling the brewers may have forgotten to add the hops.
They claim to be an ‘East India Pale Ale’, which is the biggest crock of shit since the ‘totally real’ moon landing. The IPA was invented because adding a lot of bitter hops to beer meant it could last the entire journey from Britain to India without going off. Tui couldn’t even make it to Nan’s and back. It lies to your face with all the subtlety of Aaron Smith claiming he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
It tastes like how Michael Cheika’s face looks. It tastes like how a toothy blowjob feels. It tastes like how Max Key’s music sounds. It tastes bad.
Tui ads used to have the line, “You’re a man, you know what you like, and you like what you know”. Well I’m pretty sure I don’t like fermented camel piss in a can, so Tui is out the proverbial fucking window.
The worst part is that you can’t even get properly drunk off this shit. It’s a well-known fact that your liver processes one 4% beer in the time that it takes for you to drink a 4% beer. It’s barely even alcohol. You need a proper finisher, like Diesels, to have a good night. While you’re at it, get a good starter too, maybe like Diesels. Fuck it; just drink Diesels.
Tui? Yeah Right
Taste Rating: Fucking shit/10
Froth Level: The All Blacks in the 2008 RWC quarterfinals.
Pairs well with: Having no tastebuds, sense of shame, or self-respect.
Outstandingly accurate.
You might have just found your place in the world. -
@mn5 reads like someone else wrote that!
-
@taniwharugby said in Beer thread:
@mn5 reads like someone else wrote that!
Yeah, kinda reads like some Otago University student wrote that for their Uni newspaper.
-
-
@mn5 said in Beer thread:
@taniwharugby said in Beer thread:
@mn5 reads like someone else wrote that!
It’s because they did
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!!
-
@canefan said in Beer thread:
@mn5 said in Beer thread:
@taniwharugby said in Beer thread:
@mn5 reads like someone else wrote that!
It’s because they did
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!!
People should know I’d never write a post that long
-
@mn5 well it's only cos I have read enough of your
shitposts over the years to think that just didnt sound like something you thought up all on your own!
-
@taniwharugby said in Beer thread:
@mn5 well it's only cos I have read enough of your
shitposts over the years to think that just didnt sound like something you thought up all on your own!Plus I’ve shared it on here quite a few times but did so again for those who may have missed it
-
@mn5 first time I have seen it.
-
-
@taniwharugby @nzzp Cos you had @MN5 on ignore I'm guessing?
-
@voodoo if only, having people on ignore doesnt really work as you could quote him and I'd see his post in your quoted post.
I dont have anyone on ignore, dont even have any threads on ignore anymore.
-
@taniwharugby ha, neither, I don't ignore anyone, sounds like hard work
