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Sorry @Kruse never been to Seattle.
Edit to add: one of my best mates lived in Seattle in the aughts. Worked for Microsoft and was well looked after, with no kids. But he rated the city and State. Lots of quality outdoors activity nearby and said Seattle was very livable.
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I've visited, went for 4 days with Mrs CF who had work. My impression was very positive after having no initial desire to go. Food was great, people are friendly, it was easy to get around using public transport. Went out to an island in the sound, which was lovely. I enjoyed it more than Vancouver when I went a few years later
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Cheers guys - I was starting to think the Collective-Fern-Knowledge-Base was falling down on this one.
But yeah, both @Smuts and @canefan comments gel with the anecdotal stuff I'm getting from others - but everybody has been visitors.
Interesting that a few people have mentioned "Friendly" - when there's apparently the phenomenon "the Seattle Freeze", and Washington actually rates 48th of the 50th states in "extraversion", but the Seattle Freeze sounds like it might be more relevant to people moving into the city/state, rather than visitors.
Happy to have tourists, and take their $$$, but not so happy with Johnny-come-lately types moving into their city? Fine by me, in fact - sounds perfect. Friendly people creep me out.Anyway - I'll give it a go, see what I make of it. bestbikingroads.com seems to suggest I probably won't hate it, during Summer at least. And 150 breweries should keep me busy during the long winter.
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@Kruse said in Happiness Scale:
Cheers guys - I was starting to think the Collective-Fern-Knowledge-Base was falling down on this one.
But yeah, both @Smuts and @canefan comments gel with the anecdotal stuff I'm getting from others - but everybody has been visitors.
Interesting that a few people have mentioned "Friendly" - when there's apparently the phenomenon "the Seattle Freeze", and Washington actually rates 48th of the 50th states in "extraversion", but the Seattle Freeze sounds like it might be more relevant to people moving into the city/state, rather than visitors.
Happy to have tourists, and take their $$$, but not so happy with Johnny-come-lately types moving into their city? Fine by me, in fact - sounds perfect. Friendly people creep me out.Anyway - I'll give it a go, see what I make of it. bestbikingroads.com seems to suggest I probably won't hate it, during Summer at least. And 150 breweries should keep me busy during the long winter.
The ranking may be suggestive of the fact that it felt more like what I'd imagine Canada would feel like than the US. The people seemed down to earth in a way you don't see in Los Angeles or New York for example. Their sensibilities seemed to be well suited to my Kiwi sensibilities
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Ok fern.
I've had nearly 6 months in NZ (it's been fantastic) and I have a couple of months left.
I've got a thousand things to moan about, but fuck it. I've loved it. I love being here even if I can't afford to buy a house here (that my wife would want to live in - different post).
I've had heaps and heaps of time with my parents and my boy has had heaps and heaps of time with them too. That's the part that has made it fantastic, we could be on a nuclear waste dump and as long as there was wine I'm sure it would have been about 90% as much fun (veges and fruit might have been less enjoyable).
Here's the point where I need some thoughts and hopefully some wisdom:
My Mum is aging, but still very capable. Walks into the bank and remembers the names of everyone. Can plan a dinner and cook it to perfection. Her garden is awesome.
But, she can't remember that she told me we would have pork for dinner. She'll take out pork and have it on the bench, then ask me what I want for dinner. She can't remember her PIN number as she recently changed it (I think after keying in the wrong number by mistake). She doesn't even remember that she changed her PIN.
I can provide a thousand examples, but suffice to say that her short-term memory has gone to pieces.
I'm looking for advice about how to deal with the situation. I know the potential for how bad it could be, but if you can tell me about how you or loved ones have dealt with it, it would be much appreciated.
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@gt12 said in Happiness Scale:
Ok fern.
I've had nearly 6 months in NZ (it's been fantastic) and I have a couple of months left.
I've got a thousand things to moan about, but fuck it. I've loved it. I love being here even if I can't afford to buy a house here (that my wife would want to live in - different post).
I've had heaps and heaps of time with my parents and my boy has had heaps and heaps of time with them too. That's the part that has made it fantastic, we could be on a nuclear waste dump and as long as there was wine I'm sure it would have been about 90% as much fun (veges and fruit might have been less enjoyable).
Here's the point where I need some thoughts and hopefully some wisdom:
My Mum is aging, but still very capable. Walks into the bank and remembers the names of everyone. Can plan a dinner and cook it to perfection. Her garden is awesome.
But, she can't remember that she told me we would have pork for dinner. She'll take out pork and have it on the bench, then ask me what I want for dinner. She can't remember her PIN number as she recently changed it (I think after keying in the wrong number by mistake). She doesn't even remember that she changed her PIN.
I can provide a thousand examples, but suffice to say that her short-term memory has gone to pieces.
I'm looking for advice about how to deal with the situation. I know the potential for how bad it could be, but if you can tell me about how you or loved ones have dealt with it, it would be much appreciated.
A subject very close to home for me too as of the last year or two, also keen to follow
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@gt12 I'm not a clinician, first and foremost, but have had experience in dealing with an older family member who started to slip in the top two inches.
Mrs TA's mum passed away in late 2022 about 6 years after being diagnosed with dementia in her mid 60s.
Sometimes it's easy to write off a few memory lapses as something less serious than it might be. That's pretty much what we did with the MIL and by the time we caught it, she was in serious financial trouble. She might even have been diagnosed years prior.
However, as mentioned I'm not a clinician, and "dementia" can present a number of ways. Don't jump to conclusions.
It can be a difficult discussion to have with a loved one and needs to come from a place of concern. Especially if you're asking as their child...
Think about the following, but understand that professional help is the way to go.
What about your Dad or other family/friends? Have they noticed changes? That can be difficult for them as a gradual change might go unnoticed.
How is her health otherwise? Do they have a regular GP? Are they getting regular checkups, blood tests etc?
Do they see any other specialists?
Are they otherwise looking after themselves in terms of eating, bathing, looking after their appearance etc?I'm sure there will be public health resources available to help over there via the Ministry, so it could be worth going to their website to find out more.
Best of luck with it.
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I'd agree with NTA, the situation sounds serious enough to warrant investigation. As your mum's memory worsens she may increasingly become a danger to herself. Of course getting an older relative to buy into the idea of getting checked out may be difficult
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Cheers to you and others.
My Dad and others have noticed it and our plan roughly aligns with your suggestion. We are trying to get her to a doctor for a general health check (memory loss can simply be from B12 deficiency it seems).
My Dad is also going to need to talk with her about the situation to find out if she realizes it is happening.
Based on those two events, we’ll figure out how to proceed (likely a proper check-up of her faculties).
On the other side of the happiness scale, my boy (5) just learned to ride a bike without training wheels today. He’s a pussy like his father, so he’s late by comparison to his friends here, but it didn’t matter to me.
It was a really nice Dad moment to help him get going (the good-old grab the back of his shirt) and have him tell me to let him go as he got the hang of it.
Probably too early to start drinking 🤔
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@gt12 said in Happiness Scale:
Cheers to you and others.
My Dad and others have noticed it and our plan roughly aligns with your suggestion. We are trying to get her to a doctor for a general health check (memory loss can simply be from B12 deficiency it seems).
My Dad is also going to need to talk with her about the situation to find out if she realizes it is happening.
Based on those two events, we’ll figure out how to proceed (likely a proper check-up of her faculties).
On the other side of the happiness scale, my boy (5) just learned to ride a bike without training wheels today. He’s a pussy like his father, so he’s late by comparison to his friends here, but it didn’t matter to me.
It was a really nice Dad moment to help him get going (the good-old grab the back of his shirt) and have him tell me to let him go as he got the hang of it.
Probably too early to start drinking 🤔
Whoever the idiot was who said that teaching your kid to ride a bike is one of the joys of fatherhood, has never had to teach his kid to ride a bike. It's actually bloody painful, running behind the thing, hunched over, sweating, lurching from side to side, banging into each other, kid crying. Once they figure it out of course, it's all gravy.
So yes, you deserve a drink. Both of you.
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@voodoo ha, mine was a nothing event really...TR Jnr wasnt interested in taking the trainer wheels off, then one day after seeing another kid his age at the bike park without them, he wanted them off, took them off, he was
away...no falls, no "yay I did it dad", just rode off like it was no big deal. -
@taniwharugby said in Happiness Scale:
@voodoo ha, mine was a nothing event really...TR Jnr wasnt interested in taking the trainer wheels off, then one day after seeing another kid his age at the bike park without them, he wanted them off, took them off, he was
away...no falls, no "yay I did it dad", just rode off like it was no big deal.show off
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@gt12 said in Happiness Scale:
On the other side of the happiness scale, my boy (5) just learned to ride a bike without training wheels today. He’s a pussy like his father, so he’s late by comparison to his friends here, but it didn’t matter to me.
Mine didn't get it until he was 11.
He's always been one to set his own timetable.
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On the short term memory loss posts, we're basically at Stage 7 Alzheimers with my Mum, so I can probably say far too much about the journey.
In some ways the earliest stages are the trickiest. Some days are better than others, and 'did I really see that?' doubts can seep in.
Later on it gets harder to watch if they end up in care. Though the back of mind worries subside about whether they've left the oven on, or gone for a walk and can't find their way home, or, or...
Alzheimer's/Dementia also progresses quite differently in different people, and at different speeds. Royce Simmonds walked 300kms with it. We first picked it in my Mum about 9-10 years ago and she is still with us. We picked it up in my brother's Mother in Law about 2-3 years ago and she is no longer with us.
That collective family discussion is so important. First so that you don't dismiss it as seeing things, second so that you get a full picture, and most importantly if it is Alzheimer's you need to make some collective assessments about what is/isn't safe over time.
Some basic resources to start with in NZ: https://alzheimers.org.nz/about-dementia/booklets-and-factsheets/
I like https://www.linkedin.com/company/alzheimer's-research-uk/ because it's always encouraging to see work towards diagnostic tests and cures. Also https://www.linkedin.com/company/dementiaaustralia/ tends to be very practical.
An important thing the rest of us have to remember is: they don't know what they've forgotten. This is crucial when you are trying to keep your sanity later on when being asked for the fiftieth time over a cuppa "have you had a busy week?" etc.
We might be driven mad by it - but have to resist the urge to call them out on it. They get the same happiness from asking or telling you something over and over again. Because in their brain the thought or question has literally just occurred to them.
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One of the hardest things early on is convincing them to go to the Doc. Either they'll be conscious of it and in denial. Or they don't know what they've forgotten so nothing is wrong and you're all exaggerating.
Memory loss is well perceived in public knowledge of Alzheimers, but paranoia, shadowing, and sundowning are less well known, but are often just as present in the mid stages.
The memory does roll backwards over time. For the last year or so I've become my brothers name to Mum. He's the oldest. Youngest grandkids names mostly went about three years ago. But every now and then a circuit in the brain somehow fires, and a name will get used again.
Strangely enough in the context of the last few posts... I was told by one of the health pros along the way that one of the very last things we'd forget - because we learn it so early on - is how to ride a bike.
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Thinking back on how to get the Docs involved if a family member won't go, or will go but won't discuss memory issues once there. (Or won't remember to...!!!)
We did use a work around on the privacy issues. While a GP can't (easily) discuss a patient with you without consent... you can tell the GP what you are seeing at home. In our case we eventually wrote a fairly detailed letter from the family to Mum's GP, so that he had it on file next time he saw her. It seemed to help. Or find a reason to go with them.
GP's and co are crucial to https://www.govt.nz/browse/health/help-in-your-home/needs-assessment/ later on. Especially if deterioration is gradual/without major medical incident in the middle as a trigger for the health system to take over.
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@Donsteppa said in Happiness Scale:
Strangely enough in the context of the last few posts... I was told by one of the health pros along the way that one of the very last things we'd forget - because we learn it so early on - is how to ride a bike.
Unless perhaps you only learned when you were 11.... 😉
Happiness Scale
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