When to get involved...



  • So... the family Boo were up at the local Stockland shopping centre lunchtime today.

    Mrs boo a little upset at how a nationally recognised brand were rather poor in responding to a customer complaint. This is a separate issue but fuck you STRAND BAGS ...

    So Ms boo jr hangs outside the store avoiding embarrassing parents inside making complaint.

    Whilst said enbarrassing parents are inside we hear this loud shout just by the door which goes away. Everyone looks up but gets on with immediate task when nothing further happens.

    Embarrassing parents link up with Ms boo jr post disagreement with STRAND BAGS (awful customer service but separate topic.. ) and Ms boo jr (15yo) is quite shaken.

    Says she witnessed adult male hitting toddler.

    Was visibly upset and quite astonished that nobody did anything

    Once embarrassing parents got over shit experience with STRAND BAGS... and actually listened to Ms boo jr she advises that said adult male hit said toddler "with all his weight" with open hand.

    Boo family ended up following possible perpetrator kinda by accident as that was the direction we were going.

    Booboo thinks "what the f-word do we do? Ms boo jr is old enough to know what's right and wrong", decides 000 (equivalent to 1!1 in NZ) isn't appropriate, but works out that we need to call the Police so rings PoliceLink (131 444).

    In the mean time Ms boo jr strides off to get the rego of alleged perpetrators.

    Am seriously proud of Ms boo jr. Did the right thing as best she could.

    We ended up making report and hopefully one way or another young kidlet ends up out of harm's way.

    I've been questioning myself whether I'd have the guts to intervene in an altercation like that; and I suspect I wouldn't... given the risk of retaliation. But hopefully we've done the right thing and flagged potential abuse to the authorities.

    My question to all you Ferners out there is at what point do you intervene, and to what levels?



  • That's a tough one.

    Jump in live action, and you run the risk of getting it wrong, or having the angry dad take a swing at you. The latter would reveal his bullshit to everyone nearby of course, but you might get injured doing it.

    Miss boo has it right I think. Report it, let the authorities sort it out. If it was in a shopping centre, ring Centre management and ask them to review security footage, maybe?

    It sucks that the kid involved has to cop a beating in the meantime, but you can't save everyone right then and there.



  • An adult backhanding a baby in public clearly has anger issues, and also feels empowered to do so. Getting authorities involved absolute best thing to do, cos if the kid is already getting that level of hit, not long til it escalates further to injury. You never know, might even be a twisted cry for help doing it in public. Wanting someone to notice that all is not well.



  • That's actually pretty great of Miss Boo. Handled it the right way, I wouldn't recommend getting directly involved, let the police handle it.

    It would have to me a full force hit, like you described, for me to get involved like that. It's easy to get frustrated as a parent, it's a hard job and a smack or a cuff isn't abuse IMO - albiet not great parenting.



  • yeah is always a tough situation, often easy to stand shocked at it and before you know it, it is over...and you are left thinking shit, should i have done something.

    Was in a petrol station recently, and just as I entered a Maori lady was hurling racist comments at the Indian lady behind the counter as she walked out the door...afterwards I think shit I shoulda said something to the Maori lady, but then what do you say?

    I didnt say anything as I was stunned at the anger of the Maori lady and was only a few seconds and she was out the door...turned out the lady behind the counter wouldnt let her use her WINZ card or whatever credit they have to pay for another guys petrol so he could give her the cash...obviously spoke to the young Indian lady about it.

    But then a physical altercation is tougher to deal with, as one party is usually very agitated and likely to retaliate...



  • @booboo

    For me, the only time you get involved is if the kid is in immediate danger and you rally those around you to help intervene.

    Otherwise I think it was handled perfectly.



  • Tricky one that. Think the Boo whanau handled it better than most.

    I guess the choice is to do walk away/do nothing and regret you missed an opportunity to protect someone or assess the situation and take the safest course of action.

    Avoiding physical confrontation is probably the best course of action. It can make a tricky situation worse for you and the other party.



  • @Hooroo said in When to get involved...:

    @booboo

    For me, the only time you get involved is if the kid is in immediate danger and you rally those around you to help intervene.

    Otherwise I think it was handled perfectly.

    Yeah. While it might be satisfying to point out the behavior to the parent, it would also have probably been counter active.
    I don’t necessarily think of my own safety first in those situations but it wouldn’t achieve much.
    I agree with the above. Letting authorities deal with it is why we have laws.



  • So sad, the verbal stuff gets me too. I was shopping for my daughter last weekend, she wasn't with me at the time but a mom near me had three young children with her who were being typical bored kids, taking shoes down etc so understandably she was frustrated but the way she was speaking to them was just horrible "shut the f*** up and listen to me" everytime the one child tried to talk she did this "shut up, shut up" threatening rant over him and getting louder and louder. People were standing staring at her. I get she wanted to reign them in and get the shop done but it was painful to listen to. "Your words are theirs" someone once told me and I've lived by it with my daughter.
    I know shopping with young kids is stressful, my girl has had melt downs over ridiculous things that 3 yo do, where I've had to get down to her level and look her in the eyes and tell her exactly the next steps and it works, sometimes she screams over me a bit but eventually she will calm down and it's few and far between now as we have rules when out shopping. I'm very aware people watch but I don't care, I'd rather people think of me as soft than abusive.

    I'm not perfect but I'd never ever tell her to shut up...
    Even when she's singing "let it go" over and over, when she can sing it through i know I'll miss these days. 😪



  • I would be super proud of Miss Boo!

    Back when I was a teenager my best mate witnessed a bloke (much older than him) mis-handle his partner in a way, that to him (and I'm sure pretty much all of us), was totally unacceptable. His course of action was to follow them both outside of the store (where he worked) and the beat the crap out of the guy in the carpark while telling him it was no way to treat a lady.

    Anyway I had to pick him up from the cop shop and he lost his job. Thats perhaps how NOT to do it



  • @JK said in When to get involved...:

    I would be super proud of Miss Boo!

    Back when I was a teenager my best mate witnessed a bloke (much older than him) mis-handle his partner in a way, that to him (and I'm sure pretty much all of us), was totally unacceptable. His course of action was to follow them both outside of the store (where he worked) and the beat the crap out of the guy in the carpark while telling him it was no way to treat a lady.

    Anyway I had to pick him up from the cop shop and he lost his job. Thats perhaps how NOT to do it

    Am indeed.



  • The last two times I got into a fight it was because I got involved. First time was a no brainer as 3 guys were indulging in a bit of paki bashing in London.

    Second one with hindsight maybe I could/should have kept quiet. Some bitch was being outrageously racist in a pub I told her she was a fucking disgrace. She and her mates took exception.

    I would now definitely go with the call the cops route. Unless not stepping in was potentially going to result in someone getting badly hurt. Thing is I'm an old bastard now so stepping in is a) more than likely going to be ineffective
    b) end up in me being the one getting badly hurt


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