El Toro rehab log.....March 2014
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Frustrated...Not sure if I made any progress this week. My perception of progress is influenced greatly by pain levels and well.....it was'nt a great week in that regard. Probably tried to sit for too long a few times? Could also just be the slightly colder weather? Not exactly sure...<br>
Still managed to do everything in my routine but it just seemed more difficult than the previous week.....except getting in and out of the car.....getting used to that so it seems easier.....but yes.....I am a bit confused. It happens.<br>
Target for the next week is to try and take the car for a short trip every day....On top of the usual routine. Been wondering what will happen if a cop pulls me over and asks me to stand on one leg...or walk on the white line......might get interesting! I feel completely in control of the car so thats not a problem but I am not sure if a cop will be convinced. Lets hope I dont find out! Happy days... -
I wonder if your sort of recovery is like weight loss, an expectation if linear improvement but in reality a trend of improvement with lots of small setbacks?<br /><br />Don't be too tough on yourself, you actually mentioned a pretty positive development with your ability to use the car. <br /><br />Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk<br /><br />
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Kirwan" data-cid="423707" data-time="1397417386"><p>I wonder if your sort of recovery is like weight loss, an expectation if linear improvement but in reality a trend of improvement with lots of small setbacks?Don't be too tough on yourself, you actually mentioned a pretty positive development with your ability to use the car. Sent from my HTC One using Tapatalk</p></blockquote>
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Yeah thats exactly right....the physio keeps on reminding me of the same thing. Not to expect linear improvement. I've had a good couple of weeks with linear improvement leading up to last week so I think last week was just a dip in the trend. No big deal. Patience!<br>
Apart from logging my progress here I have also started today to write down any positives on a big black board in my kitchen where I can see it all the time.....part of what the pain management dudes tell you to do.....celebrate progress!! So the first inscription reads....I can drive!! -
May 2014......Driving the car now every day. Still only once a day and max one stop getting in and out but......every day. Thats good progress. Also walking the mini steps in the house every day about four times. Settled into a new routine now that my wife is back.....helping with dishes and other chores every day as part of the rehab exercises....oh yes.....and I now put my shoes on and tie my own laces twice a day. Sitting down...but thats OK.....its also getting easier. I remember how upset I was a year ago in hospital when one of the doctors told me I would be lucky if I could bend down and tie my shoelaces in a year.......in hindsight I should have thanked him for being honest! <br>
Still on the same medication........have to try and cut the Tramadol in half during the next week or two...... -
<p>I missed this thread till now. Sorry!</p>
<p>Really hope you take it slowly and patiently, maintaining steady incremental improvements, being patient and keeping your chin up. It's good to read your thread and the hard work you are putting in to recover your normal health. Set yourself little goals to achieve as part of the general rehab, and ignore the set backs as temporary blips.</p>
<p>Remember it doesn't matter if it takes another two years to get back most of your full mobility, and then keep building your strength for another 10 years. I myself know two men here in their late 70s who do regular exercise at good levels (1 runs an hour every dawn, another does 7 sets of 30 bench press every day (55kg). You'll be in great shape at 55-60 and can look back on this event as a chance to bounce back stronger. Good luck!</p> -
June 2014.......Better. Small but consistent improvement. Gotta be happy with that.<br>
As far as exercises are concerned I have added a couple of minutes twice a week on a stationary cycle with a step through frame and slightly adapted seat. I can feel how this is freeing up my knees and hips. Manage about 4 minutes on the seat. Hope to improve by 30 seconds every time. I think carrying the kettlebell has also improved my strength a bit and I am ready to upgrade to the 12 kg. In practical terms the improvement means I now spend about 7-8 hours a day out of bed in total. More sitting, a bit more walking including a little bit of uphill and downhill.....probably only 40 m with a 4 m incline but better than nothing. Calves unbelievably stiff so working on that with the rumble roller! The improvement has also lifted my mood considerably. Starting to spend more time outside my own headspace!! Learning to guard against falling in a victim trap when the pain takes over...get the hell out of there asap! <br>
I have altered my diet again and I think it has helped as well. Gone full paleo/ primal but also added two veggie based green smoothies a day.....better recovery time and gut function much improved. Very happy with that. Tribest smoothie maker on Ebay......brilliant! Also bought a weighted vest.....walk around in the house with it for a few minutes a couple of times a week.....<br>
Medication still the same.....havent been able to drop to lower level.....<br>
Happy with overall progress though..... -
OK.....managed to walk 4 full height steps today.......175 mm each......to be exact.........Hah! No hands.....no handrail.......<br>
Progress! -
OK….it’s been a while….<br>
Firstly…this is the first post on this thread that I am making while sitting in front of my computer….not on the bloody Ipad above my head in the bed….<br>
I am much better but I will get back to that in a minute….to put it in perspective I have to reflect on the past. Exactly two years ago, Nov 2012, I thought I was dying. I was absolutely convinced that I would not see Christmas 2012…..been in and out of hospital for months, could hardly walk from my bed to the toilet, gripped in a massive self-destructive depression that made it impossible to see a future, medicated with full strength Tramadol, Endone, Celebrex, Seroquel and six Panadol Osteos thrown in on top of that for good measure……unbelievably dark days. How it got to that stage is somewhat hazy but also irrelevant right now.<br>
The journey from there to how I got better is documented above so I won’t repeat it but it is just important today to remind myself that two years ago I saw no future and thought I was dying.<br><br>
So where am I now? My everyday life still looks anything but normal but I have much improved functional strength. I can sit for much longer, walk a bit further….maybe 20 odd minutes, get up from a normal chair but still not if the chair is under a table…..I have to sit down first and then pull the table closer, then push the table away again first before I stand up…Makes going to a restaurant a challenge so we don’t really do that. The odd coffee shop where I can check out the tables beforehand only….<br>
I can get in and out of my (higher) car fairly easily so drive around a bit just about every day. Stairs still a big problem…..I manage a few every second day or so and it is getting easier but wow….it still spooks me big time and causes serious discomfort and pain afterwards in my entire lower body. And with stairs I mean walking them normally….no hands or holding on to anything….. as any normal person would. But the progress is there so just have to keep going…( edit: just saw my previous post and realised it took 4 weeks before I tried it again! )<br><br>
Probably the biggest recent improvement or progress is that I managed to dramatically cut down on the pain medication. It took six failed attempts over the last two months to finally cut the last of the Tramadol and that is gone now. Suffered crazy withdrawal symptoms but I think it will stick this time. Now only take 3 or sometimes 4 Panadol Osteos a day and nothing else. OK and one Imovane before bedtime to improve sleep quality….will have to work on that. I basically still have constant chronic pain all the time while awake but you just learn to live with it and hopefully it fades away over time as your mind adjusts to the signals….or so they say. We’ll see……..<br>
In the meantime I just keep exercising with the same discipline and program to improve my functional strength to ground zero……that is a mid-term goal now to be able to get up from the floor unassisted. I promised myself I will not try to get back on my motorbike before I am able to do that so it ends up being a huge motivation in itself.<br><br>
So November 2014 looks considerably better than 2012…..no fireworks yet but most telling that I am making long term plans again……….. -
<p>Good call JK. Hope things have continued to improve ETS!</p>
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<p>Wow! How is that for timing?........You guys just beat me to it! Tomorrow is exactly <strong>three years</strong> since my accident so was about to update this on the day................short answer?..........Much better thank you but still a long way to go! </p>
<p>Detail update soon................</p> -
<p>OK….so a bit over three years since the date of accident......</p>
<p>I had to think hard about this but probably the most significant progress of late is that I don’t plan and calculate every day down to the last half-hour as early on in my rehab. I have built up enough stamina now to more or less carry on every day until I run out of steam…..that mostly means I get through to about lunchtime when I take a break for about an hour and a half and then manage to again push through to about 5 or 6 pm. Still all light duty pen-pushing mostly but at least I am out of bed which is a relief and huge progress.<br>
Very difficult to peg exactly but I would guess that my physical strength is about 60-70 percent of full recovery. In real world terms it means getting on with an adjusted life…..sitting, walking, standing and even climbing a few stairs when necessary….. I still use the lift in the house to move between floors though.</p>
<p>I still do a routine of stretches and exercises every day with two more intense strength sessions weekly. I use the pilates reformer for that because it combines very accurate increase in flexibility and load adjustments……I am now on three full strength springs with much deeper movement than before. Worth reminding myself that I started on ONE, QUARTER spring! And I still see a physio every second week….ends up more brainstorming than anything else but it offers a good benchmark for improvement.... Battling to get normal agility and movement back like before the accident….. I am still locked in a guarded pattern, over-thinking certain movements instead of just doing them. Picking something up from the floor, getting in and out of a car ( still!), standing up from a chair, climbing stairs off course and so on. So your brain needs to learn to trust your body again…..physio gave me some co-ordination exercises they use for stroke patients to try and help with this…..frustrating. </p>
<p>Mentally doing fine with (almost) no anger left about the turn of events……..shit happens….deal with it.<br>
The three year time- frame also represents the limitation date for any possible legal claim following the accident……I pulled the plug on the proceedings in January after it became clear that it will lock me in a mental regress for as long as it will continue……..and it became very clear that it would have continued forever with multiple parties including two insurance companies involved. Every meeting I had with the lawyers took me back to the worst of times and no amount of money is worth that….……so…..…. case closed.</p>
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On a larger scale I have a few decisions to make…….mainly…….what to do with the rest of my life? I more or less retired seven years ago from any formal work. I then started to do all the things I ever wanted to do as described in the OP……..in reality it became boring as hell after a while and I had some new prospects lined up before the accident. Time now to again pursue those opportunities and get busy………..can’t just watch sport on telly forever??? :idiot2:</p> -
<p>Mate, I've only just stumbled on this thread and I have to say I find it inspiring and if you ever need a mental uplift or are feeling that your progress is not as you would wish, may I suggest you re-read the whole thread? It charts some pretty damned impressive progress and demonstrates a high degree of mental fortitude.</p>
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<p>Hats off!</p> -
<p>The beauty of keeping track of it all, the good and the ugly! You've made some hard decisions but you are focusing on positive opportunities which is awesome. Keep up the good work and keep us posted mate!</p>
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Respect x infinity.<br><br>I honestly don't know if I could handle that. Amazing and inspiring.<br><br>I guess the compo thing sucks but by the sounds of it you are pretty well set up financially. The most important thing is to get better and move on.
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<p>Thanks. I have read all the comments and encouragements….they are appreciated. They have also made me realize how different this entire episode looks from the outside looking in….. versus living it on a day to day basis. I have had this discussion with some of my close friends as well and it ended up……interesting. Most people are in awe of tales of recovery from adversity….just listen to the reaction to some of the TED talks etc. Frankly it is amazing what we can endure and how we can recover. It often sounds heroic.<br><br>
HOWEVER….when you go through something similar it does not feel heroic at all. On the contrary……if I can use a somewhat stupid analogy…..It does not feel like the fight put up by a cornered lion (or William Wallace!) It feels more like the desperate struggle of a rat drowning in a bucket of water. Because in reality, what option do you have?? Just die?? Stay bitter forever…. and then die?? Or get the hell on with life. Most people (the lucky ones) in a situation like mine eventually work out that the only option is to get on with life. And I specifically use the word lucky because that is what I am. Lucky. They have done every test imaginable and I have no lasting neurological damage. A few lasting musculoskeletal issues yes but theoretically I can get close to full recovery…<strong>given enough time.</strong></p>
<p>Earlier during my rehab I used to go to a hydro-therapy pool twice a week. I was lowered in the pool with the disability lift for months because I could not get in the pool any other way. At first I felt so sorry for myself it was pathetic. That was until I got through the strongest medication and was able to look at the other poor buggers in the pool. Very few were stronger than me. Most however were much, much worse off than I was. A lot with no hope of recovery at all. So again it is worth reminding myself that I am lucky. Not dead. Not a drooling vegetable. Not in a wheelchair. Not paralyzed. Just a bit slow with the odd speed-wobble!<br>
Despite knowing this, I still catch myself on the odd occasion feeling sorry for myself and very guilty about the unbelievably SLOW recovery. Why does it take so bloody long?</p>
<p>As noted, that is where this thread has come in handy indeed. It certainly helps to go back and check my progress against earlier posts and the overall storyline of improvement is encouraging and undeniable. So just keep on keeping on….as someone once said.</p>
<p>The biggest challenge now for real progress to kick in is to stop waiting. Waiting to get better can become an excuse. It makes the clock stand still…… time becomes the enemy instead of an ally. If I can manage to get busy enough….progress should happen seamlessly and in parallel with life, without me watching the clock and the calendar.</p> -
<p>Not exactly directly related to my rehab but still a big milestone this morning…….</p>
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We eventually got round to attending a citizenship ceremony to activate our Australian citizenship. We were eligible two years ago already but my little episode held us back a bit.<br>
Lots of mixed emotions so I won’t go there…. dual citizenship etc.</p>
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More than 300 people from 41 different nationalities attended and were sworn in. Was impressed with the proceedings…. Fairly quick with just the right amount of theatre involved….speech, pledge, anthem etc.</p>
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This was the biggest (only) occasion that I attended since early 2012.</p>
<p>Managed OK but one thing that I have come to appreciate of late was there in all its glory….again. Even though I am much better and manage a few stairs with relative ease nowadays, you had to go down a long and steep staircase to get to the demarcated area in the auditorium. Just out of my range. NO access ramp or lift.So we ended up sitting right at the back with the visiting families, miles away from the other new citizens.</p>
<p>I have designed and built commercial and public buildings all my life and the norm is to provide the absolute minimum requirements of disability aids like ramps, ablutions and lifts to satisfy the various local building codes.</p>
<p>It has tightened up nowadays but some councils used to let you get away with providing just about nothing. And from a cost point of view, you would not offer anything more…without ever thinking about it, or blinking an eye.<br>
Unbelievable how my perception of all this has changed now! Nothing like living it to get you to appreciate the inconvenience and humiliation disabled people have to go through all their life.</p>
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My problem will be gone eventually / soon, but this lesson will stick.</p>
