Lying on your resume
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@raznomore said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia can you send me that formula book please...
When I get back into the office tomorrow I should be able to send you a link to where I grabbed the PDF from.
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@Nepia I know exactly what you mean. I have used Excel in every job I have had since 2005. Yet I never remember how to do shit in a new role. I always make friends with the admin teams quickly though. So that I can get a quick refresher without raising too much suspicion.
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@raznomore said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia can you send me that formula book please...
Google is your friend.
I do heaps of excel work including vba Macro automation so would describe my level on a cv as “expert”, however most of the time I use google as reference Material to find the best way of doing something -
@raznomore said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia I know exactly what you mean. I have used Excel is every job I have had since 2005. Yet I never remember how to do shit in a new role. I always make friends with the admin teams quickly though. So that I can get a quick refresher without raising too much suspicion.
I had a job around 2015 where I had to use Excel sheets extensively and they were using antiquated methods of uploading and organising data ... so I spent about a week figuring out a more efficient way to do it. Which was really stupid in hindsight because then people kept coming to me for Excel stuff.
Next job didn't use Excel and forgot most of the new skills I acquired.
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Excel is a good example of the varying degrees of proficiency on CVs.
My G/F notes on her CV that she has advanced excel skills and in her line of work (policy in Government) she is 'advanced in excel' and her peers generally don't know as much her. Now I'm way ahead of her in excel but I work in Finance (accountant) and if I put 'advanced in excel' my boss would expect a fucken whizz.
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I knew quite a few pilots who "adjusted" their logbook hours. Seriously not cool.
One of them could have lost his licence because he went way over the annual flight time limitations for pilots when he cheated.
He was actually a good aviator, so got away with it, but his resume was complete bullshit. I knew how much he had flown, as I was the chief pilot, at his previous job. Then he showed up at a major airline with significantly more experience and talked about his total hours. Funny thing was, he knew that I knew too, and was always the first to buy me a beer. -
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my level of excel for my job is pretty advanced, but in my old job my boss is/was an accountant and man some of the magic he could do with excel!!
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Excel can eat all the dicks. It’s user unfriendliness and my technological dumbcuntness are a disastrous combo. Luckily I have young folk in the company to do it for me. I share my screen with them and get them to sort it in exchange for coffees from a cafe in town that I get free anyway.
I’m such a Scotsman.
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@taniwharugby said in Lying on your resume:
my level of excel for my job is pretty advanced, but in my old job my boss is/was an accountant and man some of the magic he could do with excel!!
spot on, but by god it's uncheckable, and god forbid fixing it if anything breaks. Excel has a low barrier to entry, which is both a massive strength and weakness.
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I outright lied once to get an interview. Was maybe late 20s and desperate to get out of the customer service jobs rut I was in. Embellished to get an interview for an IT job (with the agent).
Turns out I'm a terrible liar and blagger.
Was excruitating. Far too nice after I got found out, and turned it to an interview for what I actually was qualified for. I just wanted to get out of there.
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@Bones said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia said in Lying on your resume:
I have a formula book
Oh yeah because INTERNET!
Love the idea of you sitting at work and having to do some excel bits - "ohhhh nooooo....I left my formula book at hommme"
Well it's a PDF where I know the pages of the stuff I need.
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@Nepia said in Lying on your resume:
@Bones said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia said in Lying on your resume:
I have a formula book
Oh yeah because INTERNET!
Love the idea of you sitting at work and having to do some excel bits - "ohhhh nooooo....I left my formula book at hommme"
Well it's a PDF where I know the pages of the stuff I need.
Good god man
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@Nepia said in Lying on your resume:
@Bones said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia said in Lying on your resume:
I have a formula book
Oh yeah because INTERNET!
Love the idea of you sitting at work and having to do some excel bits - "ohhhh nooooo....I left my formula book at hommme"
Well it's a PDF where I know the pages of the stuff I need.
Hopefully the staples don't scratch your discman when it's in your bag.
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@Bones said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia said in Lying on your resume:
@Bones said in Lying on your resume:
@Nepia said in Lying on your resume:
I have a formula book
Oh yeah because INTERNET!
Love the idea of you sitting at work and having to do some excel bits - "ohhhh nooooo....I left my formula book at hommme"
Well it's a PDF where I know the pages of the stuff I need.
Hopefully the staples don't scratch your discman when it's in your bag.
Discman? Is that some fancy new technology that's like my Walkman?
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@antipodean said in Lying on your resume:
How to crater a career by antipodean: Large town hall with senior management crapping on about their leadership retreat oblivious to the fact no one cared - I point out they aren't leader's arseholes, company performance is on a clear negative trend in a range of areas and they only call themselves leaders because they can't manage. Because managing is difficult.
Well I've never gotten quite that close to diving on my own grenade. Well played.
I've got a good manager who is also a leader. But the 2 guys above him in the chain make my fucking teeth ache in terms of micromanagement.
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@nzzp said in Lying on your resume:
Excel has a low barrier to entry, which is both a massive strength and weakness.
Lot of companies that friends or I work for run all their shit on spreadsheets. Cheap to set up, maintenance costs are practically invisible when it is part of someone's day job.
Problem is when they want to do anything big with it. Massive ball ache.
Once I discovered Google Sheets supported live links to BigQuery and also QUERY() life became a lot better.
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@antipodean said in Lying on your resume:
Filthy look, contract not renewed. Just over a year later; "welcome back, where you been?"
I used to call that “he’s on Lazarus leave”
