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@mariner4life yeah that's annoying when it feels like a crime to want to shag your spouse! Its not just the act, its the wanting each other which is just as much a part of it, it just makes you feel more connected, no pun intended. Busy lives are partly to blame, not that there's any more guarantee if you live with a stay at home spouse
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@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
i get irrationally mad when even close friends of ours, the wife makes a joke about how little the husband gets. and how he needs to be "lucky" and shit.
the fuck lady? why is that funny?
It isn't. That is straight up power play bullshit.
A friend of the wife's is married and often has spats with her husband and father of her four children. She's a bit of a glamour but I reckon there is an ugly duckling story in her background. Anyhoo, Mrs TA said that Mrs Glamour once said they probably have more sex than the average couple. I was silent.
Later on, when I was having a laugh at the amount of shoes Mrs TA owns, she said "Well be glad you're not married to Mrs Glamour - she's got heaps more than me".
I bit my tongue about Mr Glamour getting heaps more than me as well.
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life yeah that's annoying when it feels like a crime to want to shag your spouse! Its not just the act, its the wanting each other which is just as much a part of it, it just makes you feel more connected, no pun intended. Busy lives are partly to blame, not that there's any more guarantee if you live with a stay at home spouse
if anything, it probably means less.
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life yeah that's annoying when it feels like a crime to want to shag your spouse! Its not just the act, its the wanting each other which is just as much a part of it, it just makes you feel more connected, no pun intended. Busy lives are partly to blame, not that there's any more guarantee if you live with a stay at home spouse
Which I often thought was the case: if we went back to a breadwinner/home maker split, things would improve. Not necessarily, as it turns out.
But the "busy lives" argument doesn't hold water for me: we're all busy if we choose to be. I'm not killing myself at work because I choose to avoid that. She has that option but choses to kill herself. She's not busy when she's spending hours a day on her iPad after dinner and in bed.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life yeah that's annoying when it feels like a crime to want to shag your spouse! Its not just the act, its the wanting each other which is just as much a part of it, it just makes you feel more connected, no pun intended. Busy lives are partly to blame, not that there's any more guarantee if you live with a stay at home spouse
Which I often thought was the case: if we went back to a breadwinner/home maker split, things would improve. Not necessarily, as it turns out.
But the "busy lives" argument doesn't hold water for me: we're all busy if we choose to be. I'm not killing myself at work because I choose to avoid that. She has that option but choses to kill herself. She's not busy when she's spending hours a day on her iPad after dinner and in bed.
Don't get me wrong mate, after a busy day if she was up for it and let me know, I'd be all over that
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan shit yeah. Even happened once this year after I got home from rugby.
Made me wonder if she'd been watching Magic Mike while I was out
I know a couple who are pretty playful, and she definitely gets triggered by stuff she watches on Netflix. And its not like he does anything special around the house or with the kids (in fact the opposite). He just picked a live one. Its just not fun when there isn't much action and when there is its just keen to be over
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
Its just not fun when there isn't much action and when there is its just keen to be over
this thread is constantly heart breaking
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In relation to the sex thing, my strategy is as follows. I never initiate, that way I am never frustrated or resentful for being turned down. My wife also gets the benefit of not having to turn me down which often makes her feel guilty and anxious. When she is "ready" she will let me know and it's a bonus, this often fluctuates depending on health, stress etc. But the key is that I don't care when it happens, I'm just ready for when it does. And when it does happen, I know she is in the "mood" which makes for far better sex anyway.
Another thing which works in our house is we have a whiteboard for short term and long-term tasks that need doing. She can write things on the board she needs help with, and I can visually see what is on her mind or what I can assist with. I am fucken terrible at remembering things and that used to piss her off when I would forget. With the board I can't forget as it is right in front of me until I do it and cross it off.
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan shit yeah. Even happened once this year after I got home from rugby.
Made me wonder if she'd been watching Magic Mike while I was out
I know a couple who are pretty playful, and she definitely gets triggered by stuff she watches on Netflix. And its not like he does anything special around the house or with the kids (in fact the opposite). He just picked a live one. Its just not fun when there isn't much action and when there is its just keen to be over
My first girlfriend was a "live" one, problem was when I wasn't around, she went "live" with someone else. I have zero fear of my wife ever doing that.
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@chimoaus Has it crossed your mind she might not initiate as often as she might based on your reticence? She may think you aren't that interested.
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus Has it crossed your mind she might not initiate as often as she might based on your reticence? She may think you aren't that interested.
Aren't all men up for it? I think I have turned her down only a handful of times in 25 years.
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus Has it crossed your mind she might not initiate as often as she might based on your reticence? She may think you aren't that interested.
I'm sure things can be a vicious cycle like this
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@chimoaus said in Happiness Scale:
Another thing which works in our house is we have a whiteboard for short term and long-term tasks that need doing. She can write things on the board she needs help with, and I can visually see what is on her mind or what I can assist with. I am fucken terrible at remembering things and that used to piss her off when I would forget. With the board I can't forget as it is right in front of me until I do it and cross it off.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
i get irrationally mad when even close friends of ours, the wife makes a joke about how little the husband gets. and how he needs to be "lucky" and shit.
the fuck lady? why is that funny?
It isn't. That is straight up power play bullshit.
A friend of the wife's is married and often has spats with her husband and father of her four children. She's a bit of a glamour but I reckon there is an ugly duckling story in her background. Anyhoo, Mrs TA said that Mrs Glamour once said they probably have more sex than the average couple. I was silent.
Later on, when I was having a laugh at the amount of shoes Mrs TA owns, she said "Well be glad you're not married to Mrs Glamour - she's got heaps more than me".
I bit my tongue about Mr Glamour getting heaps more than me as well.
They don't seem to appreciate, that if they give us what we want they can pretty much do whatever and we will be pretty damn tolerant
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@dogmeat said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus said in Happiness Scale:
I think I have turned her down only a handful of times in 25 years
I have never, ever turned it down and reading this thread I am really glad!
i have, to make a point. i fucking hated myself. what a dipshit.
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@mariner4life my age it might not work again
Plus for reasons outlined earlier in this thread I suffered a ten year drought so got to make up for lost time...
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@dogmeat said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life my age it might not work again
Plus for reasons outlined earlier in this thread I suffered a ten year drought so got to make up for lost time...
oh, i have not repeated the mistake
Happiness Scale
