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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan shit yeah. Even happened once this year after I got home from rugby.
Made me wonder if she'd been watching Magic Mike while I was out
I know a couple who are pretty playful, and she definitely gets triggered by stuff she watches on Netflix. And its not like he does anything special around the house or with the kids (in fact the opposite). He just picked a live one. Its just not fun when there isn't much action and when there is its just keen to be over
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
Its just not fun when there isn't much action and when there is its just keen to be over
this thread is constantly heart breaking
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In relation to the sex thing, my strategy is as follows. I never initiate, that way I am never frustrated or resentful for being turned down. My wife also gets the benefit of not having to turn me down which often makes her feel guilty and anxious. When she is "ready" she will let me know and it's a bonus, this often fluctuates depending on health, stress etc. But the key is that I don't care when it happens, I'm just ready for when it does. And when it does happen, I know she is in the "mood" which makes for far better sex anyway.
Another thing which works in our house is we have a whiteboard for short term and long-term tasks that need doing. She can write things on the board she needs help with, and I can visually see what is on her mind or what I can assist with. I am fucken terrible at remembering things and that used to piss her off when I would forget. With the board I can't forget as it is right in front of me until I do it and cross it off.
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan shit yeah. Even happened once this year after I got home from rugby.
Made me wonder if she'd been watching Magic Mike while I was out
I know a couple who are pretty playful, and she definitely gets triggered by stuff she watches on Netflix. And its not like he does anything special around the house or with the kids (in fact the opposite). He just picked a live one. Its just not fun when there isn't much action and when there is its just keen to be over
My first girlfriend was a "live" one, problem was when I wasn't around, she went "live" with someone else. I have zero fear of my wife ever doing that.
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@chimoaus Has it crossed your mind she might not initiate as often as she might based on your reticence? She may think you aren't that interested.
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus Has it crossed your mind she might not initiate as often as she might based on your reticence? She may think you aren't that interested.
Aren't all men up for it? I think I have turned her down only a handful of times in 25 years.
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus Has it crossed your mind she might not initiate as often as she might based on your reticence? She may think you aren't that interested.
I'm sure things can be a vicious cycle like this
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@chimoaus said in Happiness Scale:
Another thing which works in our house is we have a whiteboard for short term and long-term tasks that need doing. She can write things on the board she needs help with, and I can visually see what is on her mind or what I can assist with. I am fucken terrible at remembering things and that used to piss her off when I would forget. With the board I can't forget as it is right in front of me until I do it and cross it off.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
i get irrationally mad when even close friends of ours, the wife makes a joke about how little the husband gets. and how he needs to be "lucky" and shit.
the fuck lady? why is that funny?
It isn't. That is straight up power play bullshit.
A friend of the wife's is married and often has spats with her husband and father of her four children. She's a bit of a glamour but I reckon there is an ugly duckling story in her background. Anyhoo, Mrs TA said that Mrs Glamour once said they probably have more sex than the average couple. I was silent.
Later on, when I was having a laugh at the amount of shoes Mrs TA owns, she said "Well be glad you're not married to Mrs Glamour - she's got heaps more than me".
I bit my tongue about Mr Glamour getting heaps more than me as well.
They don't seem to appreciate, that if they give us what we want they can pretty much do whatever and we will be pretty damn tolerant
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@dogmeat said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus said in Happiness Scale:
I think I have turned her down only a handful of times in 25 years
I have never, ever turned it down and reading this thread I am really glad!
i have, to make a point. i fucking hated myself. what a dipshit.
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@mariner4life my age it might not work again
Plus for reasons outlined earlier in this thread I suffered a ten year drought so got to make up for lost time...
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@dogmeat said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life my age it might not work again
Plus for reasons outlined earlier in this thread I suffered a ten year drought so got to make up for lost time...
oh, i have not repeated the mistake
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@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
@dogmeat said in Happiness Scale:
@chimoaus said in Happiness Scale:
I think I have turned her down only a handful of times in 25 years
I have never, ever turned it down and reading this thread I am really glad!
i have, to make a point. i fucking hated myself. what a dipshit.
Did it once, on principle - she had been out with her hot divorced friend and came home raring to go. But she was on the bleed.
The principle I was trying to enforce was, if I wanted it and she knocked me back because she was on the bleed, then I should take the same stance.
Idiot.
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Also: please stop with the bullshit pretense that you aren't looking at other men. At the same time, don't get the shits with me looking at other women.
Sure, the physical side isn't that important to you, except when Chris Hemsworth appears without a shirt on and I have to go get a mop. Seriously.
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
I think she takes the few of - happy husband happy life. It goes both ways.
try reading the comments of anny article on social media where a husband wants more sex. it's actually fucking depressing. there appear to be a huge number of women out there who just don't think it's important. that their body is sacrosanct. and any man should be happy with whatever they are "allowed".
It's actually sad that these women don't seem to want to fuck their men any more.
"oh he needs to put in effort" which normally means "no not that effort, this other effort on top of all the other effort" while also ignoring the fact that constant refusal actually wears people down to the point where trying is too hard.
To be fair in hindsight picking a partner who probably wasn't really into sex in the first place was on me. It is hard to realise at the time how important it is, and how attractive it is when someone willingly wants it and genuinely enjoys it. These days its probably just easier to self administer, but the personal connection is not there. I'm sure it would be the same if you resorted to an independent contractor as well
Not always easy to tell if they’re into sex longtime. Seems to be the norm that it’s all guns blazing in the early days then service is closed when the relationship is a done deal. That ain’t good.
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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
I think she takes the few of - happy husband happy life. It goes both ways.
try reading the comments of anny article on social media where a husband wants more sex. it's actually fucking depressing. there appear to be a huge number of women out there who just don't think it's important. that their body is sacrosanct. and any man should be happy with whatever they are "allowed".
It's actually sad that these women don't seem to want to fuck their men any more.
"oh he needs to put in effort" which normally means "no not that effort, this other effort on top of all the other effort" while also ignoring the fact that constant refusal actually wears people down to the point where trying is too hard.
To be fair in hindsight picking a partner who probably wasn't really into sex in the first place was on me. It is hard to realise at the time how important it is, and how attractive it is when someone willingly wants it and genuinely enjoys it. These days its probably just easier to self administer, but the personal connection is not there. I'm sure it would be the same if you resorted to an independent contractor as well
Not always easy to tell if they’re into sex longtime. Seems to be the norm that it’s all guns blazing in the early days then service is closed when the relationship is a done deal. That ain’t good.
And its more common than many would probably let on, considering how some of my mates head off to the strippy for a lappy given the chance on a boy's weekend
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@junior said in Happiness Scale:
I once told my dad I was feeling a bit anxious about my financial situation and that it was affecting my relationship. He called me a poof and told me to harden up. He then swiftly moved the conversation on to the rugby. Good times.
After the wife and I got our first house back in 2000 - and could barely afford that - my parents came to visit.
We were having a few drinks and started talking about lottery wins. I magnanimously said that if we won, we'd pay the house off, then I'd pay Mum and Dad back for the university costs they supported directly. Much poo-pooing of the idea and not to worry about it.
"So, Dad, if you won the lottery what would you give us?"
He looked puzzled. "But if I gave you a big pile of money, you wouldn't learn anything"
I was waiting for the outburst of laughter from either parent, indicating the nature of the joke, but it never came.
When I look back at some of the financial decisions they made through my earlier life, I came to realise they were both pretty shit with money, and that's why, when they argued - very rarely - it was the central topic.
my wife has decided that any lotto win needs to be at least 10-15m...because by the time we help out all the siblings and close friend with mortgages we wouldn't have much left to live it up...im like...2-3m and I could make it work
edit: sorry...hadn't read far enough to see we'd moved on
Happiness Scale
