Parenting
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@MajorRage said in Parenting:
@No-Quarter said in Parenting:
@Paekakboyz said in Parenting:
@No-Quarter fucking eek. Two feels like heaps currently, although there is way less anxiety compared to the arrival of number 1. I hadn't considered the being outnumbered bit, but that makes perfect sense. Once they are mobile shit gets real fast!
Three boys as well so they don't lack for energy, just constant charging around and yelling etc and that's just two of them, once number three is older all hell will break loose.
TBH I love the rough and tumble with them but I think my wife is slowly but surely losing the plot as it begins to down on her that boys are 10x crazier than she ever imagined.
Neighbour has 3 girls. 11, 9 and 8. Reckons heβs on the last part of enjoying life now.
You are correct. Girls much easier than boys up until a certain age, then just bloody appalling.
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@ACT-Crusader said in Parenting:
@No-Quarter said in Parenting:
Well we've gone from 2 to 3 and it's a way, way bigger adjustment than 1 - 2. We're outnumbered now and that makes lots of things harder as one of us will always have to be watching at least two of the little nutters when we go out. Also looking at our options with cars as we are starting to feel a bit cramped, I'm tempted to get a fucking massive van so we can ride around in comfort instead of trying to cram everything into our wagon. Especially if we want to do any road trips.
Congratulations bro.
Plenty of vehicle options out there for bigger whanaus these days. Boot space is the biggest thing for us when we do the road trips.
How many kids do you get in the boot?
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@ACT-Crusader said in Parenting:
@No-Quarter said in Parenting:
Well we've gone from 2 to 3 and it's a way, way bigger adjustment than 1 - 2. We're outnumbered now and that makes lots of things harder as one of us will always have to be watching at least two of the little nutters when we go out. Also looking at our options with cars as we are starting to feel a bit cramped, I'm tempted to get a fucking massive van so we can ride around in comfort instead of trying to cram everything into our wagon. Especially if we want to do any road trips.
Congratulations bro.
Plenty of vehicle options out there for bigger whanaus these days. Boot space is the biggest thing for us when we do the road trips.
How many kids do you get in the boot?
Better off asking Fred West
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So yesterday we receive a letter form Oranga Tamariki, inviting us to the the Whanau Conference with one of the boys who mugged TR Jnr.
TR Jnr and his mate are both adamant they arent interested in attending, although I have told him we should at least write a letter and I might go along and read it to the offender on his behalf.
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
So yesterday we receive a letter form Oranga Tamariki, inviting us to the the Whanau Conference with one of the boys who mugged TR Jnr.
TR Jnr and his mate are both adamant they arent interested in attending, although I have told him we should at least write a letter and I might go along and read it to the offender on his behalf.
Good plan, no need to the boys to see that loser again. Wouldn't hurt for him to see you, and how pissed off you are.
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
So yesterday we receive a letter form Oranga Tamariki, inviting us to the the Whanau Conference with one of the boys who mugged TR Jnr.
TR Jnr and his mate are both adamant they arent interested in attending, although I have told him we should at least write a letter and I might go along and read it to the offender on his behalf.
Good plan, no need to the boys to see that loser again. Wouldn't hurt for him to see you, and how pissed off you are.
Not that it will make much difference, sounds like they are on the way to a wasted life
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@canefan well the optimist in me says there is still hope for some of these kids!
Will see if they let me read a letter from TR Jnr and my take on it and how I went looking for him after it happened, and luckily for me, I didnt find him!
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@taniwharugby good on ya bro. For what it's worth I'd give the lad another opportunity to come along. No pressure though. For the (very) limited exp I've had around youth and restorative justice that sort of face to face meeting can be powerful. These guys could well continue to be shitheads, but we can hope that they can scrounge up some empathy from the experience.
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or you could go full on Union/League lingo and tell them you hope they are guttered with themselves, and can take some learnings from this experience. If you do take that option could you rec please... Portrait of course for extra salt
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@paekakboyz said in Parenting:
@taniwharugby good on ya bro. For what it's worth I'd give the lad another opportunity to come along. No pressure though. For the (very) limited exp I've had around youth and restorative justice that sort of face to face meeting can be powerful. These guys could well continue to be shitheads, but we can hope that they can scrounge up some empathy from the experience.
I was going to say something similar, but I have absolutely no experience in this stuff.
Agree no pressure though, at the end of the day while it might benefit the thug, its not TNRJR's responsibility to help him
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@paekakboyz said in Parenting:
@MN5 general playground advice for the boys?
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
@nzzp I hear ya bro!!
This last couple of weeks has been a real struggle!
cheers,
Just some amazingly entitled attitudes that will not last in this house. I'm sure I was a shit to my parents - will apologise next time I see them.Keep telling myself it's all pushing boundaries in safe environments to learn. But goddamn, the frustration levels are through the roof
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@nzzp kia kaha bro! one thing to remember is that young brains are legit wired different to us 'adults' . Doesn't make it one iota easier to deal with I'm sure (I'm at the other end wrangling a 4 and 1 year olds), but it's what I try and keep in mind when I am on the verge of losing my shit. You are talking to a mini you - or a 75% sized you, not a human with a mature brain.
I reckon we can and do remember what those years were like but life just hits different when you are a teen, and sometimes well into your 20s!
Hang in there guys -
We have an 8 year old, 2.5 year old and 3 month old, so all at very different stages. All Boys.
One thing we are very aware of is we have both worked our asses off to provide our kids with everything we never had growing up, but that by default leads to entitled attitudes and a warped view of what the real world is actually like.
We try to talk to the oldest about being grateful for what he has as lots of people are less fortunate. We don't want to make him feel bad, or develop a realy negative view of the world, but at the same time it's hard for him to really see the bigger picture. The other day he asked for a T-Rex toy and I said it costs $80, and his response was "it's ONLY $80 let's just get it!". Like Jesus when I was his age $5 seemed like a lot of money!
I imagine this gets tougher as they get into their teen years and start demanding all manner of expensive things with no sense of just how lucky they are.
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TR Jnr not in a happy place, not playing rugby this year, quit TKD, "goes" to the gym, but spends time on his ph, has in the past month decided he hates school, but being year 11 (form 5) its a year he needs to knuckle down and do some work, especially if he expects to leave school and do something more than work at a supermarket or maccas.
He had decided to speak to the guidance counsellor at school, turns out that probably very unhelpful.
I know they are there for the kids, but seems to have given TR jnr all these ideas about what could be wrong with him and why he spends hours gaming and on his ph as it is OK for him as he needs to escape and deal with it that way.
He apparently has anxiety, he is probably depressed or suffering PTSD from the mugging (that he was ok about until it was bought up, now doesn't want to catch the bus and anytime something comes up, its anxiety, depression or PTSD)
His behaviour has gotten worse since speaking to the counsellor.
So she's pretty rough out there, we just keep trucking on, trying to be positive and supportive, but bloody tough when the entitlement and aggro is everywhere, worse is Miss 12 sees his behaviour and so misbehaves too.
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@taniwharugby sorry to hear that fella,
after an extended running battle friday night and saturday morning, NZZP Jr pulled his head in, apologised and stepped up and copped some punishment.
Stoked wtih the outcome. Still going to have screen free time measured on a calendar, but he's 'owned' his carrying on like a pork chop.
mmmm, pork chops
Was feeling good until the Blues decided to shit the bed last night
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@nzzp to his credit he is pretty quick to apologise, is usually aware of the cause of the issue (right now, screentime) but seems unable to find things other than gaming (if he aint gaming, he watched people gaming) and IMO it is part of the problem with his learning this year too.
I gave him an example of going to the gym every day, and all he does is forearms, reading is his deadlift, puzzles are his squats etc, he needs to broaden his exercise range.
Again, he realises what he is doing isnt right, we have some fantastic conversations about it all, how he wants to improve, but he is unable to actually initiate any of the changes, no matter how much or what we try.