Movie review thread...
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@kruse You have seriously missed your calling. Wasting your time riding around the country side when you should be writing reviews of movies that we all know are going to be shit, but you sacrifice yourself for the greater good to make sure that we know. I'm far more amused by your reviews than I ever would be by any of the movies (they are shorter too), so I commend you.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
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@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
It’s one of my favourite movies ever but the points all stand to some extent. The only movie of the four where Indy actually takes out the bad guy heroically is Temple of Doom.
Lots of nerd talk of the fifth one being made, please god no.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
It’s one of my favourite movies ever but the points all stand to some extent. The only movie of the four where Indy actually takes out the bad guy heroically is Temple of Doom.
Lots of nerd talk of the fifth one being made, please god no.
they don't stand because it's an adventure movie. fuck off.
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@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
It’s one of my favourite movies ever but the points all stand to some extent. The only movie of the four where Indy actually takes out the bad guy heroically is Temple of Doom.
Lots of nerd talk of the fifth one being made, please god no.
they don't stand because it's an adventure movie. fuck off.
At least he knew to keep his eyes shut
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
Didn’t watch the entire video but totally acknowledge Sheldon’s point. A better example is probably James Bond in Goldfinger. Everything he touches turns to shit in that film. Actually probably the best example is that Rick guy from Walking Dead. A tactical retard with a laundry list of fuck ups. Only WW1 generals sent more people to their deaths than that prick.
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
Didn’t watch the entire video but totally acknowledge Sheldon’s point. A better example is probably James Bond in Goldfinger. Everything he touches turns to shit in that film. Actually probably the best example is that Rick guy from Walking Dead. A tactical retard with a laundry list of fuck ups. Only WW1 generals sent more people to their deaths than that prick.
Dunno, Bonds actions lead to two innocent ( and hot ) sisters getting murdered, he then spends most of the movie being captured........
On the plus side though he found a way to defuse the bomb, defeat the toughest guy around by fighting dirty and most impressive of all convincing Pussy that she did like cock after all so it wasn’t all bad.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
Didn’t watch the entire video but totally acknowledge Sheldon’s point. A better example is probably James Bond in Goldfinger. Everything he touches turns to shit in that film
. Actually probably the best example is that Rick guy from Walking Dead. A tactical retard with a laundry list of fuck ups. Only WW1 generals sent more people to their deaths than that prick.Dunno, Bonds actions lead to two innocent ( and hot ) sisters getting murdered, he then spends most of the movie being captured........
On the plus side though he found a way to defuse the bomb, defeat the toughest guy around by fighting dirty and most impressive of all convincing Pussy that she did like cock after all so it wasn’t all bad.
Christopher Hitchens is an odd fish but he has a great review of GF:
But what struck me most of all was the the great Bond himself was so totally useless. Sent to spy on Auric Goldfinger, he immediately exposes himself and breaks his cover to rescue a foolish man from being tricked at cards. Why bother? Anyone who played cards ( and repeatedly lost) against a man with a huge earpiece stuck in the side of his head, who insisted on sitting in the same seat for every game, deserved to be cheated.
Having done so he also exposes a beautiful girl to danger, who is promptly killed. Bond cannot save her because, despite his MI6 supertraining and licence to kill, he does not notice when Goldfinger’s henchman, Oddjob, sneaks into his hotel room, or when Oddjob creeps up behind him and knocks him out, before painting the girl gold all over and killing her. Why Oddjob doesn’t kill Bond as well I cannot for the life of me work out, except that the film would have to be abandoned if he did.
Somehow, even after this, Bond continues to pretend he has not been unmasked, playing a futile game of golf with Goldfinger at an expensive course, during which both men pretend that they don’t know that one is a villain and the other a spy.
From that moment onwards. Bond does nothing either useful or intelligent. He gets in the way of the dead girl’s sister, who is trying pretty gamely to shoot Goldfinger, so saving the British taxpayer a great deal of money.
He then gets her killed too. His Aston Martin super car, ejector seat, revolving number-plates, machine-guns etc is as much as use as a bicycle against Goldfinger’s small army of trained (North?) Koreans. After driving around in it for a bit, shooting people, ejecting a Korean and crashing, Bond is captured and duly strapped to a gold table while a laser is aimed at his crotch. Goldfinger then lets Bond go, on the flimsiest pretext possible, after which he surely deserves to die.Bond later escapes and manages to get captured again because he is not paying attention. His attempt to smuggle the details of the plot to the CIA fails completely. The world is in fact rescued by Pussy Galore, who turns out not to be immune to charm and changes sides.
https://hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2015/07/did-we-ever-take-goldfinger-seriously-.html
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
Didn’t watch the entire video but totally acknowledge Sheldon’s point. A better example is probably James Bond in Goldfinger. Everything he touches turns to shit in that film
. Actually probably the best example is that Rick guy from Walking Dead. A tactical retard with a laundry list of fuck ups. Only WW1 generals sent more people to their deaths than that prick.Dunno, Bonds actions lead to two innocent ( and hot ) sisters getting murdered, he then spends most of the movie being captured........
On the plus side though he found a way to defuse the bomb, defeat the toughest guy around by fighting dirty and most impressive of all convincing Pussy that she did like cock after all so it wasn’t all bad.
Christopher Hitchens is an odd fish but he has a great review of GF:
But what struck me most of all was the the great Bond himself was so totally useless. Sent to spy on Auric Goldfinger, he immediately exposes himself and breaks his cover to rescue a foolish man from being tricked at cards. Why bother? Anyone who played cards ( and repeatedly lost) against a man with a huge earpiece stuck in the side of his head, who insisted on sitting in the same seat for every game, deserved to be cheated.
Having done so he also exposes a beautiful girl to danger, who is promptly killed. Bond cannot save her because, despite his MI6 supertraining and licence to kill, he does not notice when Goldfinger’s henchman, Oddjob, sneaks into his hotel room, or when Oddjob creeps up behind him and knocks him out, before painting the girl gold all over and killing her. Why Oddjob doesn’t kill Bond as well I cannot for the life of me work out, except that the film would have to be abandoned if he did.
Somehow, even after this, Bond continues to pretend he has not been unmasked, playing a futile game of golf with Goldfinger at an expensive course, during which both men pretend that they don’t know that one is a villain and the other a spy.
From that moment onwards. Bond does nothing either useful or intelligent. He gets in the way of the dead girl’s sister, who is trying pretty gamely to shoot Goldfinger, so saving the British taxpayer a great deal of money.
He then gets her killed too. His Aston Martin super car, ejector seat, revolving number-plates, machine-guns etc is as much as use as a bicycle against Goldfinger’s small army of trained (North?) Koreans. After driving around in it for a bit, shooting people, ejecting a Korean and crashing, Bond is captured and duly strapped to a gold table while a laser is aimed at his crotch. Goldfinger then lets Bond go, on the flimsiest pretext possible, after which he surely deserves to die.Bond later escapes and manages to get captured again because he is not paying attention. His attempt to smuggle the details of the plot to the CIA fails completely. The world is in fact rescued by Pussy Galore, who turns out not to be immune to charm and changes sides.
https://hitchensblog.mailonsunday.co.uk/2015/07/did-we-ever-take-goldfinger-seriously-.html
Great rant but I’d argue he was even more inept in Diamonds are Forever. Wint and Kidd got the jump on him ( oooo er ) on more than one occasion.
Bond gets a lot of chicks killed it has to be said
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That level of ineptness is well suited to the actor.
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@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
That level of ineptness is well suited to the actor.
Whoa, are you having a go at Sean or Harrison ? I’m just working out how triggered I need to be in response.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
That level of ineptness is well suited to the actor.
Whoa, are you having a go at Sean or Harrison ? I’m just working out how triggered I need to be in response.
Connery.
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@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
That level of ineptness is well suited to the actor.
Whoa, are you having a go at Sean or Harrison ? I’m just working out how triggered I need to be in response.
Connery.
That’s ok then. He only won Oscars, Golden Globes and became one of cinemas greatest ever icons but other than that he was quite shit.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
That level of ineptness is well suited to the actor.
Whoa, are you having a go at Sean or Harrison ? I’m just working out how triggered I need to be in response.
Connery.
That’s ok then. He only won Oscars, Golden Globes and became one of cinemas greatest ever icons but other than that he was quite shit.
Shakespeare in Love also won an Oscar. Your argument is invalid.
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@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
That level of ineptness is well suited to the actor.
Whoa, are you having a go at Sean or Harrison ? I’m just working out how triggered I need to be in response.
Connery.
That’s ok then. He only won Oscars, Golden Globes and became one of cinemas greatest ever icons but other than that he was quite shit.
Shakespeare in Love also won an Oscar. Your argument is invalid.
I will give you that......but he was an absolute icon and massive screen presence. He got his own fern thread when he died as opposed to tagging onto the “RIP 2020” one. That says it all.
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Stowaway (2020) - Mission-to-Mars film where things go wrong. Yeah, original theme, isn't it?
God, this was so dire I actually fell asleep at one point. Crap dialogue, stereotypical crew members (the Chinese guy is always the scientist), so-so special effects and reasonable premise wrecked.
One 2001 monolith out of 5 Independence Day alien vampires
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@victor-meldrew said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Stowaway (2020) - Mission-to-Mars film where things go wrong. Yeah, original theme, isn't it?
God, this was so dire I actually fell asleep at one point. Crap dialogue, stereotypical crew members (the Chinese guy is always the scientist), so-so special effects and reasonable premise wrecked.
One 2001 monolith out of 5 Independence Day alien vampires
If the cat goes missing they know who to blame though