Movie review thread...
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Ad Astra
Brad Pitt space stuff came up on Prime Video so yeah cue it up.
I'd heard bad things but I actually enjoyed it. I usually don't like a slow-paced movie but they set it up right from the get-go and it added to the tone of the film. I thought Pitt was pretty good in exploring the whole solitude aspect of space travel etc. He's a magnetic mofo and the chicks dig him for a reason.
I realise it was set in "The Near Future" but there wasn't a lot of SpaceX touch screen action with the craft he was occupying.
3.5 nuclear toasties out of 5 feeding bags.
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No fucking way he's swimming through a lake and getting on that space ship as it's taking off tho. That was stretching it.
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@nta said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Ad Astra
Brad Pitt space stuff came up on Prime Video so yeah cue it up.
I'd heard bad things but I actually enjoyed it. I usually don't like a slow-paced movie but they set it up right from the get-go and it added to the tone of the film. I thought Pitt was pretty good in exploring the whole solitude aspect of space travel etc. He's a magnetic mofo and the chicks dig him for a reason.
I realise it was set in "The Near Future" but there wasn't a lot of SpaceX touch screen action with the craft he was occupying.
3.5 nuclear toasties out of 5 feeding bags.
:::
No fucking way he's swimming through a lake and getting on that space ship as it's taking off tho. That was stretching it.
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So do blokes ( #nohomo ). He’s been awesome in loads of roles. Inglorious Basterds, Once Upon a time in Hollywood, Snatch, True Romance, Se7en…..and a few others I’m sure.
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Kate. Netflix movie about a poisoned assassin wanting revenge. Set in Tokyo, it looked like all of the dirty parts of Shinjuku that I like, Golden Gai and piss alley. Very violent in a Japanese style, good action but a tad predictable. 4 orphaned assassins out of 5 sword wielding yakuza bosses
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@canefan Cheers. Will watch that. I like violent movies and the wife likes practising her Japanese. Also fun to watch foreign movies and play "I've been there".
Edit: not a foreign language film.
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@canefan said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Kate. Netflix movie about a poisoned assassin wanting revenge. Set in Tokyo, it looked like all of the dirty parts of Shinjuku that I like, Golden Gai and piss alley. Very violent in a Japanese style, good action but a tad predictable. 4 orphaned assassins out of 5 sword wielding yakuza bosses
Sweeeet... added to the download list.
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Forgive me if this has been reviewed, but you won't be able to forgive me if you ignore what I write and watch this piece of steaming turkey turdass more than 10 seconds.
General Commander (2019) "starring" Steven Seagal commanding a host of young females, a grizzled potbellied Australian and a young guy who sweatboxes through the pain of the group disbanding while the various young hotties cry until their makeup runs over their bikini tops (actually, not even bikini tops). These tough young soldiers cry more than Mark Keohane after a Boks game.There's an out of focus John Woo-esque on serious drugs church scene, [supposedly directed by Philippe Martinez], really bad acting, worse photography and I have not even got to Segal yet.
The killer scene: where some terribly hamfisted blonde woman tells them all to disband Segal just sits on a lazy boy not even succeeding in keeping his eyes open. And he has trouble even staying seated on the chair?!
I swear this outdoes parody, but parodies are supposed to funny.
At least Mutant Hunt (1987) had accidentally funny dialogue.You'd need serious drugs and strong liquour to even get 1/3 of the way through this.
5 slit wrists out of 200 sofa-sophoric suicide attempts. At least it kills insomnia. Dead.
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@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Forgive me if this has been reviewed, but you won't be able to forgive me if you ignore what I write and watch this piece of steaming turkey turdass more than 10 seconds.
General Commander (2019) "starring" Steven Seagal commanding a host of young females, a grizzled potbellied Australian and a young guy who sweatboxes through the pain of the group disbanding while the various young hotties cry until their makeup runs over their bikini tops (actually, not even bikini tops). These tough young soldiers cry more than Mark Keohane after a Boks game.There's an out of focus John Woo-esque on serious drugs church scene, [supposedly directed by Philippe Martinez], really bad acting, worse photography and I have not even got to Segal yet.
The killer scene: where some terribly hamfisted blonde woman tells them all to disband Segal just sits on a lazy boy not even succeeding in keeping his eyes open. And he has trouble even staying seated on the chair?!
I swear this outdoes parody, but parodies are supposed to funny.
At least Mutant Hunt (1987) had accidentally funny dialogue.You'd need serious drugs and strong liquour to even get 1/3 of the way through this.
5 slit wrists out of 200 sofa-sophoric suicide attempts. At least it kills insomnia. Dead.
Sweeeet... added to the download list.
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@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Forgive me if this has been reviewed, but you won't be able to forgive me if you ignore what I write and watch this piece of steaming turkey turdass more than 10 seconds.
General Commander (2019) "starring" Steven Seagal commanding a host of young females, a grizzled potbellied Australian and a young guy who sweatboxes through the pain of the group disbanding while the various young hotties cry until their makeup runs over their bikini tops (actually, not even bikini tops). These tough young soldiers cry more than Mark Keohane after a Boks game.There's an out of focus John Woo-esque on serious drugs church scene, [supposedly directed by Philippe Martinez], really bad acting, worse photography and I have not even got to Segal yet.
The killer scene: where some terribly hamfisted blonde woman tells them all to disband Segal just sits on a lazy boy not even succeeding in keeping his eyes open. And he has trouble even staying seated on the chair?!
I swear this outdoes parody, but parodies are supposed to funny.
At least Mutant Hunt (1987) had accidentally funny dialogue.You'd need serious drugs and strong liquour to even get 1/3 of the way through this.
5 slit wrists out of 200 sofa-sophoric suicide attempts. At least it kills insomnia. Dead.
Sweeeet... added to the download list.
You are insane!
Actually there are even worse scenes coming up. Segal can't even sound menacing any more, he has had serious acting training, now he can almost wobble his head like Kevin Kline in his "comedic roles". Garrh. There isn't enough alcohol here to keep me watching, I'm out.. -
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Forgive me if this has been reviewed, but you won't be able to forgive me if you ignore what I write and watch this piece of steaming turkey turdass more than 10 seconds.
General Commander (2019) "starring" Steven Seagal commanding a host of young females, a grizzled potbellied Australian and a young guy who sweatboxes through the pain of the group disbanding while the various young hotties cry until their makeup runs over their bikini tops (actually, not even bikini tops). These tough young soldiers cry more than Mark Keohane after a Boks game.There's an out of focus John Woo-esque on serious drugs church scene, [supposedly directed by Philippe Martinez], really bad acting, worse photography and I have not even got to Segal yet.
The killer scene: where some terribly hamfisted blonde woman tells them all to disband Segal just sits on a lazy boy not even succeeding in keeping his eyes open. And he has trouble even staying seated on the chair?!
I swear this outdoes parody, but parodies are supposed to funny.
At least Mutant Hunt (1987) had accidentally funny dialogue.You'd need serious drugs and strong liquour to even get 1/3 of the way through this.
5 slit wrists out of 200 sofa-sophoric suicide attempts. At least it kills insomnia. Dead.
Boobwatch?
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@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@canefan Cheers. Will watch that. I like violent movies and the wife likes practising her Japanese. Also fun to watch foreign movies and play "I've been there".
Edit: not a foreign language film.
Update: As good as John Wick.
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@antipodean on the list, cheers
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@bayimports said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Forgive me if this has been reviewed, but you won't be able to forgive me if you ignore what I write and watch this piece of steaming turkey turdass more than 10 seconds.
General Commander (2019) "starring" Steven Seagal commanding a host of young females, a grizzled potbellied Australian and a young guy who sweatboxes through the pain of the group disbanding while the various young hotties cry until their makeup runs over their bikini tops (actually, not even bikini tops). These tough young soldiers cry more than Mark Keohane after a Boks game.There's an out of focus John Woo-esque on serious drugs church scene, [supposedly directed by Philippe Martinez], really bad acting, worse photography and I have not even got to Segal yet.
The killer scene: where some terribly hamfisted blonde woman tells them all to disband Segal just sits on a lazy boy not even succeeding in keeping his eyes open. And he has trouble even staying seated on the chair?!
I swear this outdoes parody, but parodies are supposed to funny.
At least Mutant Hunt (1987) had accidentally funny dialogue.You'd need serious drugs and strong liquour to even get 1/3 of the way through this.
5 slit wrists out of 200 sofa-sophoric suicide attempts. At least it kills insomnia. Dead.
Boobwatch?
I couldn't watch it all, I doubt much if any. Unless Seagal manages to take off his top.
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@bovidae they've had some success with a few of their action film, i think old guard and 6 underground are both getting sequels, rumours at least
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@kiwiwomble I watched The Old Guard again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously the ending lends itself to a sequel. IMDb shows that Charlize is going to be busy with that and Atomic Blonde 2.
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@bovidae i really enjoyed it, a good take on the immortal thing
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@kiwiwomble said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@bovidae i really enjoyed it, a good take on the immortal thing
It's on my list. Will watch soon
