Movie review thread...
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@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Forgive me if this has been reviewed, but you won't be able to forgive me if you ignore what I write and watch this piece of steaming turkey turdass more than 10 seconds.
General Commander (2019) "starring" Steven Seagal commanding a host of young females, a grizzled potbellied Australian and a young guy who sweatboxes through the pain of the group disbanding while the various young hotties cry until their makeup runs over their bikini tops (actually, not even bikini tops). These tough young soldiers cry more than Mark Keohane after a Boks game.There's an out of focus John Woo-esque on serious drugs church scene, [supposedly directed by Philippe Martinez], really bad acting, worse photography and I have not even got to Segal yet.
The killer scene: where some terribly hamfisted blonde woman tells them all to disband Segal just sits on a lazy boy not even succeeding in keeping his eyes open. And he has trouble even staying seated on the chair?!
I swear this outdoes parody, but parodies are supposed to funny.
At least Mutant Hunt (1987) had accidentally funny dialogue.You'd need serious drugs and strong liquour to even get 1/3 of the way through this.
5 slit wrists out of 200 sofa-sophoric suicide attempts. At least it kills insomnia. Dead.
Boobwatch?
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@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@canefan Cheers. Will watch that. I like violent movies and the wife likes practising her Japanese. Also fun to watch foreign movies and play "I've been there".
Edit: not a foreign language film.
Update: As good as John Wick.
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@antipodean on the list, cheers
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@bayimports said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Forgive me if this has been reviewed, but you won't be able to forgive me if you ignore what I write and watch this piece of steaming turkey turdass more than 10 seconds.
General Commander (2019) "starring" Steven Seagal commanding a host of young females, a grizzled potbellied Australian and a young guy who sweatboxes through the pain of the group disbanding while the various young hotties cry until their makeup runs over their bikini tops (actually, not even bikini tops). These tough young soldiers cry more than Mark Keohane after a Boks game.There's an out of focus John Woo-esque on serious drugs church scene, [supposedly directed by Philippe Martinez], really bad acting, worse photography and I have not even got to Segal yet.
The killer scene: where some terribly hamfisted blonde woman tells them all to disband Segal just sits on a lazy boy not even succeeding in keeping his eyes open. And he has trouble even staying seated on the chair?!
I swear this outdoes parody, but parodies are supposed to funny.
At least Mutant Hunt (1987) had accidentally funny dialogue.You'd need serious drugs and strong liquour to even get 1/3 of the way through this.
5 slit wrists out of 200 sofa-sophoric suicide attempts. At least it kills insomnia. Dead.
Boobwatch?
I couldn't watch it all, I doubt much if any. Unless Seagal manages to take off his top.
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@kiwiwomble I watched The Old Guard again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously the ending lends itself to a sequel. IMDb shows that Charlize is going to be busy with that and Atomic Blonde 2.
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@kiwiwomble said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@bovidae i really enjoyed it, a good take on the immortal thing
It's on my list. Will watch soon
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@bovidae said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kiwiwomble I watched The Old Guard again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously the ending lends itself to a sequel
Good enough that I went and actually "read" the source material.
And yeah... definitely material for a sequel. -
Kate - yeah, okay - good.
Really good.
Somebody - (antipodean or m4l?) - said "Better than John Wick" ?
Quite possibly. I certainly fucking enjoyed it, and Kate certainly loved to make sure of her kills, in much the same way that John did - but with any-sharp-object-to-hand 6-to-9 times, rather than John's one-two-bullet-to-the-head finishing move.
I guess I'll have to keep it on file for another re-watch one day, to confirm it has the re-watchability of John Wick.
One thing I considered, early in this movie, was... a lot of the shit I'm really liking, and the masses seem to be liking (fucking idiots) - ie: John Wick, Kate, Nobody - is actually pretty devoid of plot. It really is just "take a B-grade 80s or 90s movie plot, but throw style at it"...
and I'm cool with that.But, perhaps contradicting myself (but not really... probably a "twist" which could be spotted from literally 2 minutes in), I was also pleasantly albeit slightly surprised when I thought I'd seen all the knifings, and stabbings, and shootings, and gratuitous blood... and it turned out to be a FAKE Act 3... and there was another whole 30 minutes of ridiculous shootings and knifings and corny protagonist-antagonist dialogues yet to come. Fucking bonus.
Tit-watch zero. There was a sex scene, cowboy position - but with bra-on. To support those "athletic" titties, I guess.
Rating - for now - 4.5 multiple, multiple stab-wounds to the throat - out of 5 Ripley-v-Yakuza. 's. -
@mikethesnow said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Jeepers I thought that was Bill Cosby for a sec ( shudders )
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@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@bovidae said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kiwiwomble I watched The Old Guard again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously the ending lends itself to a sequel
Good enough that I went and actually "read" the source material.
And yeah... definitely material for a sequel.oh, is it a comic or a book? i thought i looked but obviously not
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@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Kate - yeah, okay - good.
Really good.
Somebody - (antipodean or m4l?) - said "Better than John Wick" ?As good. Not better, as good.