Lockdown/Covid Check In
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@voodoo ha ha either would be good. For our sins we have two wee night owls (just like us, dammit!) and with Mrs PB being a teacher her 'free' time after the kids are asleep is tied up with planning and marking. Midnight is an early night in our household at the moment and we know that ain't great.
Still lots of fun and we are super solid which is really (really) good. But I just don't have any decompression time and feel really shit when I know I'm being a grumpus with the kids.
One thing that has definitely helped was cutting way back on social media. With the Instagram changes I'm increasingly thinking about cutting that too. -
@paekakboyz I only use IG for workout ideas and looking at hotties...
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Hey you lot. Hope you guys are all doing well and life is treating you kindly. I wanted to check in with you all before I back off again. This isn't a Baron goodbye or anything as exciting as that but if you don't usually read my posts then don't bother with this one either as it's probably going to be far too girly for you. And maybe I'm over sharing yet again but it is what it is, a needed vent maybe.
Life really hasn't been great lately, pretty much a roller-coaster, all self inflicted to be honest. I've shared before (like a few of you) that I've had relationship problems throughout the last few years, covid times especially, and well my husband majorly objected to my use of the fern when he discovered it on my laptop one day.. I can't really blame him, some of my comments have been risqué, inappropriate, flirty etc but I guess mainly he was pissed off that I was no longer ME with him yet it was easy for me to be myself on here and with other people in my life, work mates, friends etc. I own that, take full responsibility for my behaviour. The fern of course isn't the only problem we had but it was a pretty explosive one recently and I guess him seeing my comments didn't help. I've made the mistake of enabling yet more possessive behaviour by backing off the fern,believing it would make things better. No brainer.
It's not a biggie but it is sad, the fern has been a guilty pleasure since I was a youth (remember when I was a "fat balding 40 year old man to all" ? ) and something I've kept completely secret because.. well I don't think any of my friends or family would believe I'm a member of a Rugby forum and it's a bit embarrassing, no disrespect intended! I do wonder how many of you share your ferning habit with other people? But my inner fat-balding-must be nearing 60 year old-man claims this is one of his happy spaces. And he's right, In all honesty I've used the fern in most of the shittest times in my life, when I first joined as a teen for example and I've left and returned numerous times usually when I've needed the distraction from whatever's going on around me and at some point it became a daily habit again just like Facebook is for some.
I've had great advice, learned a lot of random and useless information, yet strangely can't recall anything about star wars and still haven't watched them.. Most of all found serious belly laughs any time of day or night when I've needed it. Thanks Memes thread.
You (all) really are like a ray of sunshine most of the time, but even when you are having your hissy fits over refs or certain players it still makes me smile. I suppose that's why I got a bit angsty at Tim's stroppy comments before my break ( a lot of you were being stroppy actually, me included and Tim I have nothing against you, you probably have your own reasons). I know the fern doesn't belong to me but it has been a place I've enjoyed a huge amount and majority of the time people are actually kind to eachother on here. Some of the GOM, life changes, parenting threads have shown you are all a decent bunch. We are all human too, we have our lives going on and stresses that the majority don't share, you never know what your words might do to someone, I hope I've never upset anyone and I'm sincerely sorry if I have. In the early days I used talk to many of you privately, I don't anymore but the couple I did speak to - I've valued your friendship as much as some of my day to day life friends.I didn't really think this pandemic, the lockdowns and restrictions had effected me much because I've been lucky enough to stay healthy, work throughout, keep pretty connected to friends and family, for that I know I'm incredibly blessed. Fucking hell I'm alive!! I know plenty have suffered more than I have so this isnt a pity party for one. I guess my relationship suffered most, it made me realise flaws instead of ignoring them and I guess too many to fix. I've been too proud to talk to friends and family about a lot of it, anything really, I've always been the one to help others, so maybe thats why I've overshared here so much, it's in my nature to bottle up and get on usually . I've also had friendships end recently and I now know I need to build up my support network again as much as the thought of letting people help me goes against my grain. I opened up to a member of my family the other day and he checked in on me today, an older wiser guy and I wished I'd done it sooner, its hard to be vulnerable though ay! I don't like to be a burden on others.
Anyway, I will sort myself out, I know I'll be OK I always am, definitely like a cat with 9 lives, guess today is the day it's all clicked into place again, maybe that's why I'm journalling here (again Tim "this isn't anyone's journal" 😂❤️) I just really want to say to anyone going through stuff too, probably don't rely on a rugby forum to distract you completely and hope things will just get better, use it though if you don't have other options, there's some pretty supportive people here, god just look how long you've all stuck around.
Sorry to spew up a bunch of female hormones all over the usual grumpiness, I'm just thankful for the distractions you've all given me guys!
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@r-l all the best to you RL.
Keep safe, keep well and keep yourself happy.
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@r-l always a pleasure to see you on the boards, you are always welcome anytime. Stay well 🙏
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@r-l
Arguably the best description of life on the Fern and how it relates to real-life I've read....
I can recall when I joined the Fern years ago and going thru a really shitty time with a divorce from a bitter & twisted ex-wife and her incompetent solicitor. Didn't post much then, but the repartee and intelligent debate made me laugh and smile and, along with meeting Mrs M, was a good part of my life. I used to share what made me laugh with her and still do (she's a reasonably well-known blogger and rates this place highly).
The only thing I can say is that bad times pass and I really hope things work out for you (I have this feeling they will..). Your posts were/are always fun, witty and warm and hope you can join us again soon.
Finally, two words: Kia kaha.
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@r-l I actually met Mrs TR just after I found the fern, so she knew what she was getting into...she has even met a number of ferners too, and during rugby season will often just roll her eyes when I get texts during/after games and just say is the X, Y or Z?
Seriously though, hope all goes well for you, we all need our outlets to vent, talk shit and so on, and in a perfect world we all do this with our partners, but I think it is healthy to have other places you can discuss stuff you may not want to discuss initially with your partner.
Kia Kaha!
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Onwards and upwards
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@mn5 said in Lockdown Check In:
Jury is still out on what the current one thinks.
Miss Jury. Really used to enjoy his posts.
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All the best @R-L
My wife knows about the site and my 'online friends', shhhhh! don't ruin my rep you punks!! I see the fern as a far more constructive and worthwhile place to invest time than most other social media platforms. The sport and rugby focus is the constant, but holy shit I've learnt heaps and had my horizons... ah... stretched, just by the range of views and knowledge of my fellow Polish wahines.
Take a breather and we'll see you back in gif battle threads or attacking a set of hirsute eyebrows take care and do widzenia!
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@paekakboyz said in Lockdown Check In:
All the best @R-L
My wife knows about the site and my 'online friends', shhhhh! don't ruin my rep you punks!! I see the fern as a far more constructive and worthwhile place to invest time than most other social media platforms. The sport and rugby focus is the constant, but holy shit I've learnt heaps and had my horizons... ah... stretched, just by the range of views and knowledge of my fellow Polish wahines.
Take a breather and we'll see you back in gif battle threads or attacking a set of hirsute eyebrows take care and do widzenia!
And cheaper than counselling or therapy!!!
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@r-l best of luck. see you soon.
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@paekakboyz said in Lockdown Check In:
@mariner4life said in Lockdown Check In:
@r-l best of luck. see you soon.
You savage!!
what?