Movie review thread...
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Baseketball.
Has a reputation as being shit, but that's one pretty farking funny film. Lil bitch.
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Enter the Dragon
Inspired by old mate @mariner4life s Gif from above I decided to rewatch this.
Badly acted, laughable plot, cliched characters ( Bruce's character is literally called 'Lee' ) and the worst NZ accent attempt ever heard on screen.
You know what? None of that matters cos it's as incredibly awesome as I remember it. Probably the best collection of martial arts scraps ever caught on one film. I'm not sure if some of Bruce Lee's feats are exaggerated ( dying young helps people become bigger legends than they were sometimes ) but he moved like a fucken animal. What a guy.
4.5 boards not hitting back out of 5 Bullshit Mr Han Mans ( misses a perfect score by not having Chuck Norris in there )
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King Arthur legend of the sword
Starts brilliantly with a hiss and a roar and a sensational battle scene involving big elephants, later on gets a bit bogged down by try hard Snatch/Lock Stock dialogue, characters doing weird things and some over the top CGI that felt like a PlayStation game.
2.5 Guy Richie flicks out of 5 Game of thrones rejects
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
King Arthur legend of the sword
Starts brilliantly with a hiss and a roar and a sensational battle scene involving big elephants, later on gets a bit bogged down by try hard Snatch/Lock Stock dialogue, characters doing weird things and some over the top CGI that felt like a PlayStation game.
2.5 Guy Richie flicks out of 5 Game of thrones rejects
Has anybody ever been able to do the King Arthur thing right? I used to love that stuff as a kid but was let down by all the film portrayals. That Richard Gere one was a low point. Excalibur is also a nice looking film but pretty shit around. The Clive Owen one was an interesting take but didn't really work. Reckon that one from the 50s is probably the best.
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Finally saw Black Panther. Most overhyped movie of all time. Disjointed storyline, not well told, and felt very long and frankly pretty boring at times. I knew it was overhyped but I expected it to be at least as good as say Guardians of the Galaxy but it was nowhere near. What a let down.
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
King Arthur legend of the sword
Starts brilliantly with a hiss and a roar and a sensational battle scene involving big elephants, later on gets a bit bogged down by try hard Snatch/Lock Stock dialogue, characters doing weird things and some over the top CGI that felt like a PlayStation game.
2.5 Guy Richie flicks out of 5 Game of thrones rejects
Has anybody ever been able to do the King Arthur thing right? I used to love that stuff as a kid but was let down by all the film portrayals. That Richard Gere one was a low point. Excalibur is also a nice looking film but pretty shit around. The Clive Owen one was an interesting take but didn't really work. Reckon that one from the 50s is probably the best.
This one really took the sorcery thing way too far.
I also hate whoever plays little finger from GOT as an actor which doesn't help and what the fuck was a black dude doing in medieval England?
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
King Arthur legend of the sword
Starts brilliantly with a hiss and a roar and a sensational battle scene involving big elephants, later on gets a bit bogged down by try hard Snatch/Lock Stock dialogue, characters doing weird things and some over the top CGI that felt like a PlayStation game.
2.5 Guy Richie flicks out of 5 Game of thrones rejects
Has anybody ever been able to do the King Arthur thing right? I used to love that stuff as a kid but was let down by all the film portrayals. That Richard Gere one was a low point. Excalibur is also a nice looking film but pretty shit around. The Clive Owen one was an interesting take but didn't really work. Reckon that one from the 50s is probably the best.
This one really took the sorcery thing way too far.
I also hate whoever plays little finger from GOT as an actor which doesn't help and what the fuck was a black dude doing in medieval England?
Yeah that guy's a gimp. For some reason they had to have a poc in every flick just to keep the usual dickheads happy. In the latest series about Troy, Achilles is also black. Having said that I can't imagine having Maat Daaamon defending China was popular in that country.
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Tomb Raider was a bit average, even Vikander couldn't raise this, and Walter Goggins is starting to pigeon hole himself as an actor.
Death Wish, had I known Vincent D'ornifo (sp) was in this I'd of watched sooner. But a decent film with Willis returning to his roots of kicking ass.
3.5 dead gang bangers out of 5 witnesses who saw nothing.
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@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Tomb Raider was a bit average, even Vikander couldn't raise this, and Walter Goggins is starting to pigeon hole himself as an actor.
Death Wish, had I known Vincent D'ornifo (sp) was in this I'd of watched sooner. But a decent film with Willis returning to his roots of kicking ass.
3.5 dead gang bangers out of 5 witnesses who saw nothing.
Why the love for him ? To me he's just any other actor playing a part.
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Hostiles
I do love me a good western and came into this pretty excited. Great performance from Christian Bale and the bloke who always plays Indians ( Google tells me he is called Wes Studi ). Also a small part for NZ s own Cheryl West! Really hard to describe much more without giving stuff away to be honest, it's no Dances with Wolves but definitely a solid nights entertainment ( that you'll hate it you don't like Westerns )
3.5 Commanches out of 5 Pioneers
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The Hitman's Bodyguard
Ryan Reynolds plays Ryan Reynolds being a bodyguard, who has to get his arch-enemy Samuel L Motherfucking Jackson, to a place before he's killed by faceless mooks. During this process, many, many faceless mooks are bashed or killed. Also interpol agents are bashed, and possibly killed.
It's pretty violent, but the fights are cut far too fast to see what is happening, possibly because Sam is old, and Ryan can't fight for shit.
It's basically your average buddy-cop movie from the 90s. But it's done well, is laugh out loud funny in places, and features Salma Hayek, who is still fuuucking hot, and whose tits may have got bigger. Also she has a potty mouth in this (actually everyone does). I liked it
The scene where Reynolds is sitting at the bar having a whinge, while carnage ensues behind him is fucking great.
3.5 perfect boring plans out of 5 ruined motherfuckers
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@mn5 because I think he is good and i usually like things he is in...just like if I see a movie with Hugh Grant in it I know it will suck so don't watch.
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@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 because I think he is good and i usually like things he is in...just like if I see a movie with Hugh Grant in it I know it will suck so don't watch.
he's fucking awesome in Men In Black, watching him move is brilliant.
Like you, i think he's great, makes a really good creepy dude
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@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 because I think he is good and i usually like things he is in...just like if I see a movie with Hugh Grant in it I know it will suck so don't watch.
Fair enough.
I can't help but have a bit of a soft spot for Hugh though, I got dragged to Nine months back in 95 on a first date and it went extremely well. Not only that the movie was considerably less shit than I expected.
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the Dark Tower
Based on a Stephen King book(s).
Most of these adaptations are poor at best and this is no exception. Kid has weird visions and dreams of some other dimension where old mate Idris Elba ( even he can't save this ) is a gunslinger. Kid ends up in weird dimension and they both end up battling Matthew Mcnonawhatsshiname who can make people stop breathing and fall dead at the click of a finger but doesn't do this to our heroes for fuck knows what reason.
Confusing, lots of action but boring as fuck.
1.5 bouncing bullets out of 5 bad dreams
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Journey's End.
Another adaptation of R. C. Sherriff's play. Synopsis; focuses on a group of officers whose company is on rotation into the front awaiting an expected attack by ze Germans. Demonstrates the emotional and mental breakdown as they recognise the futility of their predicament; to be a speed bump in the enemy's advance.
It's well shot and superbly acted.
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@mn5 you gave it half a point more than i did
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@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 you gave it half a point more than i did
It had cool effects.
Overall it was a typical 'lots of SFX to make up for a terrible movie' type effort which is sadly very common these days.
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@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Antony Beevor: the greatest war movie ever – and the ones I can't bear
Thanks for that, great read
