Parenting
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
Take their bedroom door off it’s hinges,
I’m saving that punishment for when they get a bit older. Kids love their privacy.it's really hard to take cavity sliders out...
Not if you know what your doing. I’ve done it many times, yes is a prick in a finished house but not ia possible if your willing to cut away the architrave, risk damaging the paint and face the lonely hood of never getting it back inside again...
I manage a door hanging business btw, happy to pop over at your expense to help out...
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life
What about a lock to effectively lock the cavity slider open?my kids aren't real private, so i doubt they would care
..they will when they get older... I mean what do teenage boys like to get up to on their own...
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life
What about a lock to effectively lock the cavity slider open?my kids aren't real private, so i doubt they would care
..they will when they get older... I mean what do teenage boys like to get to go on their own...
gawd, i can't even think like that. he's in primary school!!
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
Take their bedroom door off it’s hinges,
I’m saving that punishment for when they get a bit older. Kids love their privacy.it's really hard to take cavity sliders out...
Not if you know what your doing. I’ve done it many times, yes is a prick in a finished house but not ia possible if your willing to cut away the architrave, risk damaging the paint and face the lonely hood of never getting it back inside again...
I manage a door hanging business btw, happy to pop over at your expense to help out...
I've got one that's dropped, and i am too scared to try and fix it.
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life
What about a lock to effectively lock the cavity slider open?my kids aren't real private, so i doubt they would care
..they will when they get older... I mean what do teenage boys like to get to go on their own...
gawd, i can't even think like that. he's in primary school!!
Gonna happen, we all know that... wait till the room starts to smell funny and there’s crusty old washing stashed under the bed and they ask you how to spell pornhub...
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life said in Parenting:
Take their bedroom door off it’s hinges,
I’m saving that punishment for when they get a bit older. Kids love their privacy.it's really hard to take cavity sliders out...
Not if you know what your doing. I’ve done it many times, yes is a prick in a finished house but not ia possible if your willing to cut away the architrave, risk damaging the paint and face the lonely hood of never getting it back inside again...
I manage a door hanging business btw, happy to pop over at your expense to help out...
I've got one that's dropped, and i am too scared to try and fix it.
Sounds like the carriage has come away from the mounting plate ( metal thingy screwed to the door (long flat thing) )
You will need to pull it out, but seeing as your place is brand new should be under warranty.. they will just flog your off.. wait till this covid thing dies down and I’ll pop over... -
@mariner4life funnily enough nor are my kids, but it's something they have no control over once it's gone
One thing I have learnt is that everyone's 1 minute advice is to be used only as you see fit, what works for 1 family or child might not work for others.
My mates are putting in pools so as their kids get older they hope it will mean more of their friends spending time at their house - I'm stoked as our kids are similar ages and we'll quite happily send them to theirs. However I do believe a pool like anything else will lose its appeal - but at least there is a plan
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@mariner4life funnily enough nor are my kids, but it's something they have no control over once it's gone
One thing I have learnt is that everyone's 1 minute advice is to be used only as you see fit, what works for 1 family or child might not work for others.
My mates are putting in pools so as their kids get older they hope it will mean more of their friends spending time at their house - I'm stoked as our kids are similar ages and we'll quite happily send them to theirs. However I do believe a pool like anything else will lose its appeal - but at least there is a plan
mine have always had one, and they start to take it for granted. i reckon i use it more than they do.
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what works for 1 family or child might not work for others.
yep, my older one is easier to manage and accepting of punishment and less likely to do something knowing the consequences, whereas the 11 (almost 12) year old, is stubborn AF and sometimes will hand over her phone expecting us to take it when she has been an arse!
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by christ they were well behaved and helpful last night after they were left in no doubt how i felt about their recent behaviour.
See how long that lasts
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@mariner4life well an hours up so I expect the shitstorm has started again? 😁😁
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life funnily enough nor are my kids, but it's something they have no control over once it's gone
One thing I have learnt is that everyone's 1 minute advice is to be used only as you see fit, what works for 1 family or child might not work for others.
My mates are putting in pools so as their kids get older they hope it will mean more of their friends spending time at their house - I'm stoked as our kids are similar ages and we'll quite happily send them to theirs. However I do believe a pool like anything else will lose its appeal - but at least there is a plan
mine have always had one, and they start to take it for granted. i reckon i use it more than they do.
My father got sick of us not maintaining the pool. Threatened that if we didn't he'd remove it. I went camping for a week, came back to find extra space in the backyard.
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@Paekakboyz said in Parenting:
@mariner4life well an hours up so I expect the shitstorm has started again? 😁😁
they're at school, they are someone elses problem
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Step 1 - fuck video games off.
Step 2 - make him apologise to your neighbour
I spoiled my firstborn, my daughter. I'd take her to the warehouse or toy world and buy her something every week until she was 6. My son came along and I dialed it back. My daughter up until her late teens was selfish and a sook. I started emptying her room when she was naughty - toys, books, etc - just left one teddy and her favourite blanket. It never worked though. She'd just cry and cry and cry. I'd feel guilty and move it all back in. All she learned was that dad was a grouchy but ultimate soft touch. The first time I ever got through was with her Nintendo DS. We bought them for the kids as a bribe for upending their lives and moving to Oz. She loved that thing. But she went through a period of being nasty to everyone and ruining things. Like damaging things just because. I told her if she fucked up one more thing I'd smash her DS. She tried me and I snapped it in half in front of her. It worked. She knew I was serious and it lasted for 4 glorious well behaved years...I have documented her mid to late teens and won't rehash.
My son who grew up earning the things he wants and he is defo the more cooperative of the two now. He breaks stuff more because he's clumsy and intuitive and wants to know how things work. As long as that doesn't extend to small animals I think we're good.
I've never taken the belt to the kids or given them island parenting. Don't get me wrong, I've fucken wanted to. In my experience, though it's never too late to discipline your children. You just have to find your own thing that fucks up their lives just enough to make them think about consequences. But not so much that it sends them to therapy or to a clock tower dressed like Neo from the Matrix.
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he lost his ipad after the theft incident until the end of July. Doesn't seem to have had the desired reaction given this week.
They are now ipad-less, TV-less, and Playstation-less. Lets see how that plays out.
All need to be earned back (except the eldest's ipad, which is still gone until the end of July no matter what).
I reckon that TV thing is going to bite come the weekend
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
I honestly don't know what to do next. How the fuck do you discipline kids who don't seem to give a fuck about anything?
Make them dig holes until they're exhausted.
TBH mine aren't too bad. The boy is in a mood over something (think he got friendzoned) and his Mum is fretting over what it is in case it is serious. It isn't; he's just a moody fat fuck. Trying to get him to the gym is an effort, and I don't want to come right out and say "look mate, despite all the bullshit you'll hear about physical side not being important, it is a fact that the ladies prefer them a guy in shape. You're smart, can play a guitar and sing. If you put some muscle on and shed some lard, you'll slay like a fucking barbarian".
On the other side, my daughter and I get on like a house on fire. She's got all the talent the boy has, and is hard working to boot (he's a cruiser - natural ability FTW). Her flaw is wanting to live by the recognition of others, so if she doesn't get accolades she can be hard work.
Kids are fucked. Everyone thinks they can do better. Just a fact.
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i knew my kids had definitely got the message last night when i took them running with me and there wasn't one word of complaint. just instant "yes dad".
And they smashed it. They are just lazy fucks.
I don't want to say it too much, but i have a sneaky suspicion that if my youngest can learn to put himself out there, and learn deal with disappointment, he can be anything he wants in sport. I'm not deluded enough to say he'll be a pro sportsman for sure, but definitely he'll be more than handy.
He's got great hand-eye, he's quick, and effortlessly fit. And he absolutely 100% hates to lose. At the moment it's a character flaw, but if he can harness it....
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And guys i know we all go through much the same thing, and in all reality it's easy to think your kids are just the worst, when in all reality they are the same as anyone's, but it's so easy to slip in to a mindset that you are the only one dealing with this shit, and you are the only one who doesn't have their shit together.
We're all just making this up as we go along.
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@mariner4life one of the things I find especially tough is the wife and I are often at odds with how to handle this stuff. She wants to engage and solve problems, I basically say "fuck 'em - they'll learn the hard way".
It is especially galling with the boy who, being a male, doesn't appreciate having a ton of words / advice thrown at him.
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Late to this thread but as many of you know I have a 10 year old and 12 year old ( this friday ). In some ways you might say I have four kids cos I adore their little siblings too ( 1 and 3 ).
Oldest ( much more like me in looks and personality ) went off the rails a bit when the ex and I separated, I think it affected him a bit more being a bit older, he's also just much more of a fluffybunny than his little bro. He went through a horrible and embarrassing stage of stealing all sorts of shit( @mariner4life I feel the pain ) and what scared me so much was a ) how good he was at it and b ) how easily he bullshitted about it. Thankfully those days appear past and both boys genuinely have hearts of gold now. The ex and I made a point of not arguing in front of them and to this day we don't, in fact her and I and her hubby ( a good drinking buddy of mine ) are a real united front in terms of the parenting side of things, my other half ( no kids ) is also starting to play a part in all of this as well. Us four and the kids had an awesome and competitive game of Scattegories just the other night. A few drinks and laughs, fuck it was good fun.
It's actually pretty simple and straightforward, if not always easy but the fact is we all get on and have the kids interests at heart. For birthdays and Xmas's I make a point of spending pretty much the same on the little ones as I do on my biological kids, after all what sort of fluffybunny would I be if I didn't ? there isn't a word for what I am to them, I'm not an uncle, a stepdad.....I'm just "family". I'm their big brothers Dad. Simple as that.
I relate to a lot of what you guys say about the kids being lazy, shit I'm the same and sometimes I'd rather lie around on the couch and watch TV or game with them ( and their skills at this are beyond anything I can muster ) and while this is fun we've really taken loads of opportunities each weekend to go on bushwalks around Welly, of which there are heaps. My other half will pack us lunch and off we'll go, my youngest does have a tendancy to lag behind and whinge a bit but positive reinforcement sorts that, the oldest loves to go ahead and show what an "athlete" he thinks he is, no idea where he gets that.
They don't come with instruction manuals but I reckon being a good parent is as simple as time. I can afford to take them and do things that might cost a bit of money but I also remind them ( particularly my oldest who is very materialistic ) that one of the most fun days we had was while I was waiting for a rather large sum of money from my house settlement. I LITERALLY had 20 bucks to my name ( a badly timed redundancy during my marriage split didn't help matters ) and I needed that to fill up the car to drop them home and we spent the whole afternoon lobbing stones at sticks in the river. Free, easy ( but still memorable ) fun. I've confessed all these years later that I didn't even have enough to get them an ice cream just to keep it real and there was no way I was gonna ask anyone for a loan. When they were drooling over my new work car the other day and all it's bells and whistles I reminded them I'm still the same old Dad and even a car ( and I will admit it is fucken sensational ) doesn't make me any cooler.
Let's keep this thread going for when we're all experiencing the teenages years. fuck me days, I'll finally get as grey as the rest of you.