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@barbarian congrats mate! ha ha the first is a great way to smack all your priorities and happiness metrics up side the head
but having that flexibility with work will help out heaps. Does mean it's harder to flee the nest for some alone time in the office though!! -
@Hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
This thread is kind of therapeutic. Not because there are those that have had it tougher, not at all, but because we (as men) are speaking so freely about it.
It's something that our Dads probably never got to do and likely held it in.
I salute any of you that have managed to take action because of this thread.
I once told my dad I was feeling a bit anxious about my financial situation and that it was affecting my relationship. He called me a poof and told me to harden up. He then swiftly moved the conversation on to the rugby. Good times.
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@junior said in Happiness Scale:
@Hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
This thread is kind of therapeutic. Not because there are those that have had it tougher, not at all, but because we (as men) are speaking so freely about it.
It's something that our Dads probably never got to do and likely held it in.
I salute any of you that have managed to take action because of this thread.
I once told my dad I was feeling a bit anxious about my financial situation and that it was affecting my relationship. He called me a poof and told me to harden up. He then swiftly moved the conversation on to the rugby. Good times.
You post perfectly describes a big part of their generation.
Dad died when I was 17 so never really had adult conversations with him.
I imagine he would have listened but been uncomfortable about it. I really don’t know.
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@junior said in Happiness Scale:
@Hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
This thread is kind of therapeutic. Not because there are those that have had it tougher, not at all, but because we (as men) are speaking so freely about it.
It's something that our Dads probably never got to do and likely held it in.
I salute any of you that have managed to take action because of this thread.
I once told my dad I was feeling a bit anxious about my financial situation and that it was affecting my relationship. He called me a poof and told me to harden up. He then swiftly moved the conversation on to the rugby. Good times.
That made me laugh. It's so familiar.
I have a cracked rib, so laughing bloody hurts, along with any coughing and sneezing. Appreciate if you buggars would refrain from any humour (or attempts at) for about a month it would be appreciated.
Happiness scale is very low at present. Just got to roll with the punches in life.
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@junior said in Happiness Scale:
@Hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
This thread is kind of therapeutic. Not because there are those that have had it tougher, not at all, but because we (as men) are speaking so freely about it.
It's something that our Dads probably never got to do and likely held it in.
I salute any of you that have managed to take action because of this thread.
I once told my dad I was feeling a bit anxious about my financial situation and that it was affecting my relationship. He called me a poof and told me to harden up. He then swiftly moved the conversation on to the rugby. Good times.
I took some time off to help my dad freshen up a property of theirs for sale. After a long day we went to the pub to grab a meal and a cleansing ale. During dinner the conversation got around to siblings, one of whom has battled depression for a considerable part of his life when my father admitted he had too and been in some very dark places. I couldn't wait for the discussion to change. Simply didn't like the thought.
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@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
@junior said in Happiness Scale:
@Hooroo said in Happiness Scale:
This thread is kind of therapeutic. Not because there are those that have had it tougher, not at all, but because we (as men) are speaking so freely about it.
It's something that our Dads probably never got to do and likely held it in.
I salute any of you that have managed to take action because of this thread.
I once told my dad I was feeling a bit anxious about my financial situation and that it was affecting my relationship. He called me a poof and told me to harden up. He then swiftly moved the conversation on to the rugby. Good times.
That made me laugh. It's so familiar.
I have a cracked rib, so laughing bloody hurts, along with any coughing and sneezing. Appreciate if you buggars would refrain from any humour (or attempts at) for about a month it would be appreciated.
Happiness scale is very low at present. Just got to roll with the punches in life.
Better stay off the memes page then
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@Snowy said in Happiness Scale:
@MN5 said in Happiness Scale:
Better stay off the memes page then
The Leo / ghostbusters / ghost movie had me in agony.
Exactly what I was referring to
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@barbarian said in Happiness Scale:
we're eyeing off Wollongong, and I think by the time we end up buying there it will be pretty close to Sydney prices.
That 2-hour "fringe" is interesting. I remember being in an angry place about living in Sydney about a decade ago, thinking it would be cool to move to somewhere like Goulburn - prices were only about 10% lower than Western Sydney! You got a bit more land for your money of course. Even now if you want a block out there with a house you'll pay north of a million. And it is cold as fuck.
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@chimoaus said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Still plenty of bargains in regional Victoria and you are never that far from Melbourne.
The downside being it is full of Victorians
Melbourne is a nice city.
Couldn't live there of course, because as soon as anyone finds I lived in Sydney for 20+ years they'll constantly be asking me the specific ways in which Melbourne is better
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This is where I'm increasingly thankful that my dad wasn't in the harden up crew - he's not a softie but had no issues showing emotions or his struggles with mental health. We still knocked heads around persistence and resilience when I was a young teen, but as I've gotten older I've understood much more about what lessons he was trying to impart. It was just the old young v old brain clash - where we know fucking everything as a 15 year old aye!
I was also lucky (?) to have Dad at home while mum was the main breadwinner. Dad was self employed as a potter but it definitely gave me a different take on traditional roles. -
@Paekakboyz said in Happiness Scale:
gave me a different take on traditional roles
I'm really happy that my boys can see that it's totally normal for dad to be the one doing stuff at home while mum works long hours
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@mariner4life I think that's cool (this is the serious bit)
I've tried to get my wife to agree to something similar, as she earns more it makes sense....she doesn't think the cats need a stay at home dad though
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Firstly thanks to everyone who has shared on this thread. Absolute legends all. I certainly have benefitted from reading your stories.
Thought I'd add a little colour to what prompted me to start this thread.
A little over a year ago I was in a strange space. Not depressed, but bored and stale. Same job for 14yrs, stuck in the crazy hectic Sydney life of work, traffic and running around after 3 kids. Doing OK financially, but locked in a high-opex Sydney life meaning both of us were working pretty hard. Mum back in NZ with terminal lung cancer, time remaining unknown.
Decided to take a year off and reset, managed to secure a sabbatical from work, and moved the whole family to Bali. Thought by not working I'd be able to get back to NZ fairly easily to see Mum as needed.
Obviously 2020 got in the way of most of that, and we find ourselves back in Sydney again, back into the hectic lives we left behind - just without the cultural experience we had hoped for and with a big hole in our savings!
Had started back at work early given we were back in Sydney, and although some of the staleness remained, I had a new found appreciation for the stability of a job I still liked. Until a week ago that is, when I found out my company is exiting the country in a few months
. It was announced to the market just last night, whic is why I haven't posted until now. Looks like I have a role until April, after which I'll be job hunting (haven't had a job interview since March 2005...eeek!).I certainly don't write this to complain, I am very conscious that many folk on here have had extraordinary events happen in their lives, and 2020 has totally destroyed some peoples lives around the world - like many others have said, that has made me very thankful for all I have.
But its been quite interesting to find out a bit about myself this year. Before 2020 nothing really bothered me. Never really got anxious about much, was always pretty confident. That definitely got shaken up this year. Even the minor task of getting the family back to Sydney from NZ caused me an inordinate amount of anxiety at the time, and now I find myself pretty stressed again at the thought of seeking and (hopefully) starting a new role.
Turns out I really do value stability in my life. Routine. A sense of control, whether its real or not. I am looking forward to getting that back, the volatility of 2020 has really not been enjoyable.
Thanks again to all those who have shared, and to the wider Fern community. 2020 would have been a whole lot worse without you horrible cnts to "talk" to.
Happiness Scale
