Defending your home
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="gollum" data-cid="568732" data-time="1459421079">
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<p>I was told by a cop ages ago if you are going to hit an intruder it needs to be with something you could have conceivably just grabbed on instinct. If you had to go looking specifically for it thats bad. IE you are in bed, you hear something in the lounge, you go to the shed, get an axe, go to the longe & twat a burglar. That will go very badly for you. He favoured a bottle of Jack Daniels as it had a good grip, excellent weight, would break & get more stabby & who doesn't, conceivably, have a bottle of Jack on their bedside table?</p>
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<p>Maglite is a good one too, they are heavy as fuck. <strong>Or a huge dildo</strong>. </p>
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<p>If you hit him with that he'll really be fucked</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Gary" data-cid="568761" data-time="1459427326">
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<p>I'll hop right in here and say I think Oscar Pretorius could add some legs to this discussion about what you can do and can't do.</p>
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<p>Perhaps if he'd beaten Reeva to death with a dildo he'd have gotten off</p> -
Gotten off? He's some sick bastard if that's what it takes.
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<p>Everything is fucked. But at least its not as fucked as the States, where burglars have successfully sued homeowners for injuries they have sustained while burgling. (I'll never forget one article, the burglar was on the roof and fell through a skylight or something.)</p>
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<p>yeah the one I heard (which may or may not be urban legend kinda stuff) was where one had broken in, cut himself on a knife that had been carelessly left on the bench...however it was only form DNA they tracked the guy down (from his blood he dripped at the scene) a few weeks later, he then supposedly successfully sued the homeowners for several thousand dollars</p>
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<p>The shit Dad jokes are off the hook here fellas, keep the awful work up !</p>
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<p>Personally I have a couple of guitars or an oil heater at hand to fight off an attacker. The axes all have huge sentimental value so I guess the oil heater it is, more of a throwing weapon on account of it's unwieldy grip though..... </p>
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<p>Mokey, I vaguely remember that story too, the burglar got awarded millions if memory serves me correctly. Fucked. Up. Shit......</p> -
<p>I have my trusty cricket bat in my room and would not hesitate to use my devastating hook shot on any fuckwit that breaks in.</p>
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<p>yeah I practice my chipping in my hallway quite frequently and usually leave my club in my wardrobe, no way would I waste a bottle of JDs on some scum bag crim, be bad enough breaking the shaft of my favorite golf club over his head!</p>
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<p>Save a few mouthfuls and have a lighter on hand - fire breath that motherfucker before bottling em</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="jegga" data-cid="568801" data-time="1459456423">
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<p>Surely you'd use an empty bottle ?</p>
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<p>Funny thing is, I am more likely in normal everyday life to have a hockey stick or golf club in my room than a bottle of JDs, empty or full, my top shelf is kept, well, in the top shelf in the kitchen!</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="568802" data-time="1459456790">
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<p>If someone attempted to break into my sanctuary, they would be given a practical demonstration of medieval torture. Free of charge.</p>
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<p>You've been a very, very, bad wankpuffin haven't you! Time to step into Mokey's chamber of secrets!!</p> -
<p>wow hadnt actually seen this in the media.</p>
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<p>We had a break in when i was a kid and some guy climbed in the lounge window. The old man though was up watching sports in another room and ended up knocking the guy out before calling the cops (this was back in the 80s and they actually came out for burglaries back then). Could have ended much worse when you think about it.</p>
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<p>I also remember the old man keeping a length of 2x4 (actually slighty thinner but I'm no builder) under the bed too in case of any intruders.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="568802" data-time="1459456790">
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<p>If someone attempted to break into my sanctuary, they would be given a practical demonstration of medieval torture. Free of charge.</p>
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<p>don't let the word get out Mokey, you'll get all sorts of oddballs trying to break in and get caught!!</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="568804" data-time="1459456932">
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<p>Funny thing is, I am more likely in normal everyday life to have a hockey stick or golf club in my room than a bottle of JDs, empty or full, my top shelf is kept, well, in the top shelf in the kitchen!</p>
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<p>I have the c battery size Maglite which is about the size of a police truncheon. They are really heavy and if you got hit with one you'd know all about it. Unfortunately I leave the batteries out so reduce passive drain which reduces the stopping power sadly</p> -
<p>it's a bit of a sht situation for the cops. Was talking to my mate about it after those diary owners got charged in auckland for twatting some kids with a hockey stick or some bollicks a while back.</p>
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<p>basically what he was saying is that they have to charge people because it's not their role to decide if that persons guilty or not - that's up to the courts they just have to enforce the law.</p>
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<p>sucks, because they're on the side of the people they're charging.. what mainly makes it sht for defendants is the amount of time it takes to go to court, so they've got months of stress - even if they're going to get off, always a bit of doubt - and of course the horrendous cost of having to defend yourself.</p> -
<p>That's why whenever there's any chance of any sort of altercation it's best to walk away. As I know most of you are around about my age we tend not to bar hop and get on it every Friday and Saturday and numerous days in between like the good old days so there's not as much chance of drunken tomfoolery with some arsehole who looked at you funny on Courtney Place but this is something I'm going to drill into my boys. Resist the urge to get in any kind of scrap unless they absolutely have to, it's just not worth it.</p>
