Movie review thread...
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Okay. I had the choice of several movies to waste some of my limited time left on Earth with, and I chose....
Cosmic Sin
This has Bruce Willis in it. His is the second name on the billing... with superstar Frank Grillo being the first. I can't explain why - they pretty much have equal screen-time, maybe Grillo was related to the Director?
In fact - I had suspicions about a whole heap of nepotism in this movie... the backing music behind the credits - both opening and closing - is fucking atrocious. I had a strong strong suspicion it was done by the teenage son of the director, or some shit - but... different names, no proof of such a thing.
But - in the process of looking into this - I discover that this is not the only movie starring Bruce Willis this director has done. This movie was released in 2021. In 2020 - another, called Breach - also sci-fi/space-based - was released. I don't know - either this guy has some really, really dodgy footage of Bruce doing some dodgy shit, or....Fuck it, I can't put it off any longer... this goddamn movie...
It doesn't make sense. It. Doesn't. Make. A Lick. Of. Goddamn. Sense.
I nearly didn't make it through... I was closer to giving up on this, than I was with Sharks of the Corn. This is a worse movie than Sharks of the Corn.
I realised within 20 minutes that I wasn't going to be able to keep a memory of all the shit that doesn't make sense.
If one was to nit-pick... we're looking at ourselves 500 years in the future, and the level of technology is - EXACTLY the same as current-day, except with some quantum-mumbo-jumbo thrown in. Combustion engines. Gunpowder/ballistic weapons.
Not to mention plot points, or just basic common-sense. Fuck - NASA was paranoid enough to physically quarantine astronauts returning from the Moon, in butt-fuck history. But - 500 years from now - people who are already known to have been directly involved with "first contact" with an alien species, and met face-to-face in what appears to be an american high-school gym locker-room.
And then.... and then... ahh fuck, I can't list it all. I'm just going to start on the theory of WHY this was so bad....
A little while in, it reminded me of some other piece of shit I watched recently - in that maybe... just maybe... it wasn't the scripts fault that no two scenes made any fucking sense. Released in 2021 - probably filmed in 2019/2020 - SolVirus kicks in, stops filming - and some poor fluffybunny has to try and edit together a movie from what's already been taped.
It would explain a lot. The disjointedness of fucking everything. Just... it didn't make any fucking sense! None!And when I saw the 2nd space-based movie starring Bruce Willis... maybe the original plan was one big epic? And he just had to edit it into two different pieces of shit? I'm being an optimistic apologist here, but... I just can't imagine how Mr Willis got himself involved with this utter tripe.
Anyway. To the rating...
Like I said - worse than Sharks of the Corn.
There is NOTHING redeemable about this movie.
I highly recommend only as a tool for passive-aggressive revenge on somebody. Organise to watch it together, then get called out of the room for urgent work stuff, leaving them with this.
0 Q-Bombs out of 5 No-No-No-thatdoesn'tmakeanyfuckingsenseSTOPIT! -
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
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@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
agree, willis is the new eric roberts lol
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@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
Yeah - to be fair, it was the kind of movie where in one scene - 1 in the total movie - I saw Bruce do a wee spot of acting... pretty much dragging out his "oh the world's so tough, but I'm just a jaded hard-ass who's gonna fight through it" expression from Unbreakable.
The rest of it - he was just there. Sometimes. Grillo was the same, but... not much opportunity to act, it was just a constant stream of "scenes", cut together into an incomprehensible mess.Grillo - I actually looked him up on IMDB straight afterwards to see what I knew him from... and there was nothing that stood out as "Oh, yeah... HIM!". Boss Level is the most obvious recent one - but he was just a generic bad-ass, forgettable in the role... but that was also the movie. Dumb stupid fun, forgotten about the next day.
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@bayimports said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
agree, willis is the new eric roberts lol
Ouch.....poor old Bruce being tarred with that brush......
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@bayimports said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
agree, willis is the new eric roberts lol
Ouch.....poor old Bruce being tarred with that brush......
I was thinking of poor Eric Robert's being tarred with the current Bruce phone it in Willis brush.
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
Yeah - to be fair, it was the kind of movie where in one scene - 1 in the total movie - I saw Bruce do a wee spot of acting... pretty much dragging out his "oh the world's so tough, but I'm just a jaded hard-ass who's gonna fight through it" expression from Unbreakable.
The rest of it - he was just there. Sometimes. Grillo was the same, but... not much opportunity to act, it was just a constant stream of "scenes", cut together into an incomprehensible mess.Grillo - I actually looked him up on IMDB straight afterwards to see what I knew him from... and there was nothing that stood out as "Oh, yeah... HIM!". Boss Level is the most obvious recent one - but he was just a generic bad-ass, forgettable in the role... but that was also the movie. Dumb stupid fun, forgotten about the next day.
Oh yeah, Grillo's no Brando, but I've found him good in the stuff I've watched him in - like the MMA show but I can't remember the name of it.
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@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@bayimports said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
agree, willis is the new eric roberts lol
Ouch.....poor old Bruce being tarred with that brush......
I was thinking of poor Eric Robert's being tarred with the current Bruce phone it in Willis brush.
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse In my opinion the problem with your choice is Willis, not Grillo.
Grillo is generally good in most things he's in and had another top billed movie out recently that was good fun action - Boss Level.
Willis seems to have given up on acting these days and just appears in stuff.
Willis, Travolta, Cage - that would have been a huge cast back in the day, now it would be a warning that the movie is dire.
Yeah - to be fair, it was the kind of movie where in one scene - 1 in the total movie - I saw Bruce do a wee spot of acting... pretty much dragging out his "oh the world's so tough, but I'm just a jaded hard-ass who's gonna fight through it" expression from Unbreakable.
The rest of it - he was just there. Sometimes. Grillo was the same, but... not much opportunity to act, it was just a constant stream of "scenes", cut together into an incomprehensible mess.Grillo - I actually looked him up on IMDB straight afterwards to see what I knew him from... and there was nothing that stood out as "Oh, yeah... HIM!". Boss Level is the most obvious recent one - but he was just a generic bad-ass, forgettable in the role... but that was also the movie. Dumb stupid fun, forgotten about the next day.
Oh yeah, Grillo's no Brando, but I've found him good in the stuff I've watched him in - like the MMA show but I can't remember the name of it.
Kingdom
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Desperado
Some of the fight scenes were a bit average, but still a cool flick.
Salma is HAWT AF too.
3.5 Mariachi's out of 5 guitar cases full of guns
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@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Desperado
Some of the fight scenes were a bit average, but still a cool flick.
Salma is HAWT AF too.
3.5 Mariachi's out of 5 guitar cases full of guns
You are a hard marker! Surely Salma's norks must deserve at least a 4? 🤷♂️
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
He gets in the way of the dead girl’s sister, who is trying pretty gamely to shoot Goldfinger, so saving the British taxpayer a great deal of money.
I don't think the reviewer gets the point of Bond films, it is NOT about saving taxpayer dollars.
And if one reads the original books, Bond is far more interestingly flawed than in the movies. -
@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@catogrande Indeed!
The one where he plays twins is awesomely bad.
I think Timecop is suitably cheesy but kickboxer is ok if you want to see someone pirouette incredibly slowly then tickle the overacting villains with his little feet. -
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
He gets in the way of the dead girl’s sister, who is trying pretty gamely to shoot Goldfinger, so saving the British taxpayer a great deal of money.
I don't think the reviewer gets the point of Bond films, it is NOT about saving taxpayer dollars.
And if one reads the original books, Bond is far more interestingly flawed than in the movies.Missing the point much?
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
He gets in the way of the dead girl’s sister, who is trying pretty gamely to shoot Goldfinger, so saving the British taxpayer a great deal of money.
I don't think the reviewer gets the point of Bond films, it is NOT about saving taxpayer dollars.
And if one reads the original books, Bond is far more interestingly flawed than in the movies.Missing the point much?
Maybe. I can't be arsed going back to the original post so shoot me, Mr Bond.
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@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
He gets in the way of the dead girl’s sister, who is trying pretty gamely to shoot Goldfinger, so saving the British taxpayer a great deal of money.
I don't think the reviewer gets the point of Bond films, it is NOT about saving taxpayer dollars.
And if one reads the original books, Bond is far more interestingly flawed than in the movies.Missing the point much?
Maybe. I can't be arsed going back to the original post so shoot me, Mr Bond.
Yet you went back 16 days and 70 odd posts to reply to that one?
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nostrildamus said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
He gets in the way of the dead girl’s sister, who is trying pretty gamely to shoot Goldfinger, so saving the British taxpayer a great deal of money.
I don't think the reviewer gets the point of Bond films, it is NOT about saving taxpayer dollars.
And if one reads the original books, Bond is far more interestingly flawed than in the movies.Missing the point much?
Maybe. I can't be arsed going back to the original post so shoot me, Mr Bond.
Yet you went back 16 days and 70 odd posts to reply to that one?
I went forward as have not read 36 threads...
But sorry to take you back in time I was only micro-ranting to that guy, not your overall post...oh and to Bond films in general, I guess I'm an ex-fan now (not to say the problem was Craig)..
