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@frank said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
pretend like we're just tough women who can deal with anything, when really they're a fucking mess.
That's really a modern Western woman thing.
My brother's wife is exactly like that.The happiest women I know are the stay at home or work part time ones. Same with the blokes for that matter. This idea that your happiness and sense of worth should be measured by your career or the useless shit you own isn’t healthy.
My experience is also that the actual strong and independent women are the ones who don’t need to tell people they are every 5 seconds. They just get on with it. The self proclaimed strong independent women have a tendency to clutch pearls and faint at even the slightest offence or obstacle. And theres no independent thought, just this ridiculous and sometimes dangerous hivemind.
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@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
You’ve always been a grumpy bugger 😏Not sure if 40s is old but it certainly sometimes feels like it.
I'm just jealous of all these little pricks with no responsibility and their European holiday experiences n shit.
It just astounds me how women can get so hung up on stuff and just completely block their partners out. I have a crazy stressful life as well, but I’ll always make time. What is a relationship without intimacy? A friendship? No thanks.
I think it is evolutionary - once the provider has been secured, the effort drops away. A mate of mine is up to his third wife, but comes from money so had a pre-nup in place in each case. He basically said to each one of them that there are standards and that he's not demanding, just has needs.
There is stress in everyone's life, but really think about what is important, yeah? Nobody on their deathbed will regret not spending more time at their desk.
I've impressed on both kids that while this mantra of Happyness they're getting sold is total bullshit, neither should they judge their own self worth on the word of others. If their school results aren't great, I don't actually care, while the wife goes mental because that's how she lives her life. My HSC result was well below par and I still earn as much as her. I don't kill myself at work, but know enough to make it look like I'm flat strap.
But looks like your kids are great and that’s awesome. It isn’t easy navigating the ridiculous world we now inhabit. Smart phones and social media are an absolute curse.
Daughter Unit was telling me about a girl in her year, who was always spoiled ever since they were together at Primary School - iPhone at 11, acrylic nails at 12, stacks of makeup etc.
Anyway this little cow ran off the rails a bit with her parents, who were always off travelling and leaving her with the aunt anyway, and she's been kicked out. Vapes, drinks stacks of red bull, and now there's a little bitch feud going on with her former best frenemy who is also a toxic bint. But it isn't happening face to face, oh no - these days they're making TikToks about each other
Yep. Unfortunately I know how quickly everything can be snuffed out. We only get one shot at all this. Why waste life on something that isn’t important or doesn’t give you any joy. That’s I think where women and men differ. And sex is a good example.For men sex is escapism. A chance to have a bit of pleasure and block the rest of that shit out. It’s about the moment. Whereas (many but obviously not all) women view it as a time consuming activity that gets in the way of everything. There has to be a right time and good luck finding the right time. You shouldn’t need to travel to some island getaway just to get intimate. Make time.
My “step daughter” is having some online issues already (she’s 11). But hardly surprising since she’s on the iPad fucking 24/7. It’s incredibly frustrating as I fought long and hard to get my youngest to kick the habit. I also found out far too late that it had a huge impact on my eldest. It’s just poison and I count myself blessed that I grew up without it.
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
For men sex is escapism. A chance to have a bit of pleasure and block the rest of that shit out. It’s about the moment. Whereas (many but obviously not all) women view it as a time consuming activity that gets in the way of everything. There has to be a right time and good luck finding the right time. You shouldn’t need to travel to some island getaway just to get intimate. Make time.
I saw a video on YouTube from a female sex therapist, after looking up a reddit thread on r/deadbedroom and one of her pieces of advice to couples was "just do it". Once things are warmed up a bit, everyone actually enjoys themselves.
Comes from the different ways in which the female and male brains work about sex in terms of the desire vs stimulation angle.
EDIT: and the worst bit about that? Mrs TA figures herself a psychologist, because she has an Honours degree with a psych major. Therefore she should understand ALL of this. But nah, too much effort, and it is all about me as the male wanting sex, right? Clearly she gets nothing out of it
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@nta said in Happiness Scale:
Anyway, fuck it: two things to sort out for work, then beer.
i just picked up the first cartons i have bought since the first week in january!!
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@mariner4life I've been knocking off the case I got from the co-op brewery I'm invested in. Not cheap, but fuck it: support the boys.
A mate of mine needed a piece of network hardware I had lying around (yes, we're nerds) and despite just wanting it to go to a good home, he gave me a 4 pack of Bent Spoke Cranking IPA for it.
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
You’ve always been a grumpy bugger 😏Not sure if 40s is old but it certainly sometimes feels like it.
I'm just jealous of all these little pricks with no responsibility and their European holiday experiences n shit.
It just astounds me how women can get so hung up on stuff and just completely block their partners out. I have a crazy stressful life as well, but I’ll always make time. What is a relationship without intimacy? A friendship? No thanks.
I think it is evolutionary - once the provider has been secured, the effort drops away. A mate of mine is up to his third wife, but comes from money so had a pre-nup in place in each case. He basically said to each one of them that there are standards and that he's not demanding, just has needs.
There is stress in everyone's life, but really think about what is important, yeah? Nobody on their deathbed will regret not spending more time at their desk.
I've impressed on both kids that while this mantra of Happyness they're getting sold is total bullshit, neither should they judge their own self worth on the word of others. If their school results aren't great, I don't actually care, while the wife goes mental because that's how she lives her life. My HSC result was well below par and I still earn as much as her. I don't kill myself at work, but know enough to make it look like I'm flat strap.
But looks like your kids are great and that’s awesome. It isn’t easy navigating the ridiculous world we now inhabit. Smart phones and social media are an absolute curse.
Daughter Unit was telling me about a girl in her year, who was always spoiled ever since they were together at Primary School - iPhone at 11, acrylic nails at 12, stacks of makeup etc.
Anyway this little cow ran off the rails a bit with her parents, who were always off travelling and leaving her with the aunt anyway, and she's been kicked out. Vapes, drinks stacks of red bull, and now there's a little bitch feud going on with her former best frenemy who is also a toxic bint. But it isn't happening face to face, oh no - these days they're making TikToks about each other
Yep. Unfortunately I know how quickly everything can be snuffed out. We only get one shot at all this. Why waste life on something that isn’t important or doesn’t give you any joy. That’s I think where women and men differ. And sex is a good example.
A friend of mine got divorced because the intimacy in his marriage died. Everything else was fine. For those who are going through the same issue I'd ask you one question: For how long are you prepared to forego that in your life?
Actually another question: How would you feel if after years your partner decides she isn't happy either and the solution for her is starting again somewhere else?
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@antipodean said in Happiness Scale:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
@nta said in Happiness Scale:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Happiness Scale:
You’ve always been a grumpy bugger 😏Not sure if 40s is old but it certainly sometimes feels like it.
I'm just jealous of all these little pricks with no responsibility and their European holiday experiences n shit.
It just astounds me how women can get so hung up on stuff and just completely block their partners out. I have a crazy stressful life as well, but I’ll always make time. What is a relationship without intimacy? A friendship? No thanks.
I think it is evolutionary - once the provider has been secured, the effort drops away. A mate of mine is up to his third wife, but comes from money so had a pre-nup in place in each case. He basically said to each one of them that there are standards and that he's not demanding, just has needs.
There is stress in everyone's life, but really think about what is important, yeah? Nobody on their deathbed will regret not spending more time at their desk.
I've impressed on both kids that while this mantra of Happyness they're getting sold is total bullshit, neither should they judge their own self worth on the word of others. If their school results aren't great, I don't actually care, while the wife goes mental because that's how she lives her life. My HSC result was well below par and I still earn as much as her. I don't kill myself at work, but know enough to make it look like I'm flat strap.
But looks like your kids are great and that’s awesome. It isn’t easy navigating the ridiculous world we now inhabit. Smart phones and social media are an absolute curse.
Daughter Unit was telling me about a girl in her year, who was always spoiled ever since they were together at Primary School - iPhone at 11, acrylic nails at 12, stacks of makeup etc.
Anyway this little cow ran off the rails a bit with her parents, who were always off travelling and leaving her with the aunt anyway, and she's been kicked out. Vapes, drinks stacks of red bull, and now there's a little bitch feud going on with her former best frenemy who is also a toxic bint. But it isn't happening face to face, oh no - these days they're making TikToks about each other
Yep. Unfortunately I know how quickly everything can be snuffed out. We only get one shot at all this. Why waste life on something that isn’t important or doesn’t give you any joy. That’s I think where women and men differ. And sex is a good example.
A friend of mine got divorced because the intimacy in his marriage died. Everything else was fine. For those who are going through the same issue I'd ask you one question: For how long are you prepared to forego that in your life?
Actually another question: How would you feel if after years your partner decides she isn't happy either and the solution for her is starting again somewhere else?
That’s the thing isn’t it. Do you hang around hoping it will all fix itself in the end or do you cut your losses and try to start again? And if you start again are you likely to find more happiness or companionship? It isn’t easy.
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@mariner4life yeah absolutely gagging to get home sometime, I think probably a lot driven by the olds getting pretty ancient and me being a distant bugger, the thought of missing out on spending time with them again scares the shit outta me. To the point where I've occasionally had thoughts of chucking it all in and heading back to start again.
Holding out hope for getting back later this year for a decent amount of time.
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@catogrande said in Happiness Scale:
but then got a book entitled “Brewing beers like those you buy
I'll have to look that up. I have a wine-making book with a similar name written by a professor of food science at Reading University. Use his "Red Burgundy" recipe using blackberries and it's really good.
Not a huge beer drinker but a decent kit, say Woodfordes, is worth paying a little more for - the stuff seems to go down well with those who know their beer. Which I don't.
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@victor-meldrew I don't think it is in print anymore but might be available via one of the interweb's book stores.
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@catogrande said in Happiness Scale:
@victor-meldrew I don't think it is in print anymore but might be available via one of the interweb's book stores.
Just ordered. £5.99 on Amazon.
Mrs Meldrew: "Well that's the summer sorted for you then...."
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I've run this page through some sentiment analysis programs and the exec summary for happiness is:
get more action (don't marry a career woman or a psych major with unresolved issues), enjoy your rugby, and brew your own beer. -
@victor-meldrew said in Happiness Scale:
@catogrande said in Happiness Scale:
@victor-meldrew I don't think it is in print anymore but might be available via one of the interweb's book stores.
Just ordered. £5.99 on Amazon.
Mrs Meldrew: "Well that's the summer sorted for you then...."
Brilliant! By the time you source the equipment and ingredients your first batch should be ready by the time lockdown has eased and travel is acceptable. As a related point I enjoy Wadworths 6X and Fullers London Pride.
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@victor-meldrew Oh and a quick tip, if you intend to use a Baby Burco for boiling everything up in, get one without an exposed element.
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@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
Beautiful spring evening, beers with Neighbour’s around a fire pit.
Most content I’ve felt in ages.
Fire. Meat. Beer. Happy
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@mariner4life said in Happiness Scale:
any of the ex-pats missing NZ? last couple of weeks i really have been, for i think the first time ever? I think i heard a Muttonbirds song which sort of kicked it off. Now everything. I need to stay off Stuff (for a number of reasons) but just the shots of the country make me a bit melancholy. Simple shit like generic looking NZ houses and streets, let alone landscapes.
Miss my friends (one of my best mates has a baby girl who is already 1 and i have never met). Even miss my family for god's sake.
I am guessing it's the combination of 2.5 years since i was there, and the knowledge i can't just go there if and went i want to
Funny. Mrs Boo brought this up the other day.
But frankly I'm happy here. Weather really could not be better for one, and neither of us have really close ties back home. Our house is awfully nice and we couldn't afford any sort of equivalent in NZ.
But there's always aspects of NZ I miss. The proximity of everything, the NZ bush, clear water, pohutukawas, change of seasons (it's fairly constant here) with daffodils and spring flowers .., lack of venomous and toothed creatures ...
But nah. We'll visit some time.
Anyways, Ms Boo Jr is now about to be inflicted upon the unsuspecting motor vehicle operators of Queensland, having passed her Ps. 12+ months of angst from parents (particularly Mum) teaching her all our bad habits paid off. So she happy. Just another step in sending the offspring off into the wide growed up world.
Coincidentally also starting a new, first ever job. About to contribute to the obesity epidemic by selling KFC. The personal Boo family epidemic is hoping for staff discount.
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@mn5 said in Happiness Scale:
@majorrage said in Happiness Scale:
@mariner4life it's the shift change. It was always full of shit. But now it's we are better and full of shit.
@MN5 the stuff columnists really are the worst people on earth. I'm not sure any of them have actually left NZ and have a clue how anything really works.
@Paekakboyz it'll always be home for me though mate, so do like to keep an eye on it.
Agree100%. It takes a special kind of parasite to write absolute shit and get paid fuck all for it.
Then again some of us write absolute shit on here and don’t get paid at all so who are we to judge ?
"Some"?
Happiness Scale