Movie review thread...
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Ambulance
I was trawling the waters of the Bay of Pirates, saw this, researched it, and decided it was too shit to watch.
"A guy who doesn't want to be a bad guy, gets trapped into being the getaway driver for a Bank Heist, in an anbulance. Action ensues"
Assumed it was a shit B/C-grade movie... not something I'd typically watch. Didn't bother downloading.
Then, somehow, can't remember how - discovered it was a Michael Bay production.
At which point...- Yeah, okay, I can go into this piece of shit, knowing it's going to be a Michael Bay piece of shit
- Kinda like, ah... fuck it, yeah, I'll take this trashy blonde home, knowing it's a guaranteed blow-job
- That blow-job being filled with lens flares
- And.. yeah.. exactly as expected
- Tit-watch: zero
- Attempts at replicating classic movie scenes (in this case: Heat) - but fucking it up - tick
- Nonsensical points of plot - tick
- Fun - yeah, sure, it's fucking Michael Bay, Blues-Brothers-esque police-car crashes - tick
- Did I mention nonsensical plot? - if not - double fucking tick
I've been belatedly playing GTA 3(s) recently... and this reminded me SO many times of that.
- Oh, and did I mention that Michael Bay has discovered drones? And guess what he does with THAT fucking technology... spoiler... using it a fucking LOT... typically starting from the tops of buildings, dropping down the sides of said buildings, to then start tracking the actual action. Fucking hack.
3 "ha-that-looks-like-it-is-a-shit-Heat" out of 5 "ha-that-looks-like-it-is-from-San-Andreas"... 's.
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@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
Ambulance
I was trawling the waters of the Bay of Pirates, saw this, researched it, and decided it was too shit to watch.
"A guy who doesn't want to be a bad guy, gets trapped into being the getaway driver for a Bank Heist, in an anbulance. Action ensues"
Assumed it was a shit B/C-grade movie... not something I'd typically watch. Didn't bother downloading.
Then, somehow, can't remember how - discovered it was a Michael Bay production.
At which point...- Yeah, okay, I can go into this piece of shit, knowing it's going to be a Michael Bay piece of shit
- Kinda like, ah... fuck it, yeah, I'll take this trashy blonde home, knowing it's a guaranteed blow-job
- That blow-job being filled with lens flares
- And.. yeah.. exactly as expected
- Tit-watch: zero
- Attempts at replicating classic movie scenes (in this case: Heat) - but fucking it up - tick
- Nonsensical points of plot - tick
- Fun - yeah, sure, it's fucking Michael Bay, Blues-Brothers-esque police-car crashes - tick
- Did I mention nonsensical plot? - if not - double fucking tick
I've been belatedly playing GTA 3(s) recently... and this reminded me SO many times of that.
- Oh, and did I mention that Michael Bay has discovered drones? And guess what he does with THAT fucking technology... spoiler... using it a fucking LOT... typically starting from the tops of buildings, dropping down the sides of said buildings, to then start tracking the actual action. Fucking hack.
3 "ha-that-looks-like-it-is-a-shit-Heat" out of 5 "ha-that-looks-like-it-is-from-San-Andreas"... 's.
A cross between Heat and GTA ? Sign me up, sounds amazing !
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@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
Ambulance
I was trawling the waters of the Bay of Pirates, saw this, researched it, and decided it was too shit to watch.
"A guy who doesn't want to be a bad guy, gets trapped into being the getaway driver for a Bank Heist, in an anbulance. Action ensues"
Assumed it was a shit B/C-grade movie... not something I'd typically watch. Didn't bother downloading.
Then, somehow, can't remember how - discovered it was a Michael Bay production.
At which point...- Yeah, okay, I can go into this piece of shit, knowing it's going to be a Michael Bay piece of shit
- Kinda like, ah... fuck it, yeah, I'll take this trashy blonde home, knowing it's a guaranteed blow-job
- That blow-job being filled with lens flares
- And.. yeah.. exactly as expected
- Tit-watch: zero
- Attempts at replicating classic movie scenes (in this case: Heat) - but fucking it up - tick
- Nonsensical points of plot - tick
- Fun - yeah, sure, it's fucking Michael Bay, Blues-Brothers-esque police-car crashes - tick
- Did I mention nonsensical plot? - if not - double fucking tick
I've been belatedly playing GTA 3(s) recently... and this reminded me SO many times of that.
- Oh, and did I mention that Michael Bay has discovered drones? And guess what he does with THAT fucking technology... spoiler... using it a fucking LOT... typically starting from the tops of buildings, dropping down the sides of said buildings, to then start tracking the actual action. Fucking hack.
3 "ha-that-looks-like-it-is-a-shit-Heat" out of 5 "ha-that-looks-like-it-is-from-San-Andreas"... 's.
A cross between Heat and GTA ? Sign me up, sounds amazing !
With lens flares!
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@antipodean said in Movie review thread...:
@Kruse I made it about 25mins in and stopped watching.
Quitter.
But, yeah, it's shit. I just went in knowing it was shit. Guaranteed sloppy. -
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Right, the wife wasn't working over the weekend so we hung out, watched some movies etc
already mentioned Love and Thunder
but, also re watched Serenity...shit thats a good sci fi flick with some memorable lines, also, why does the CGI look better than lots of stuff we see today? this was released in 2005! thats the better part of 20 years ago
and then went and saw Bullet Train another very enjoyable action film
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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Movie review thread...:
I won't go near the latest Indy film and haven't even seen that Skulls one, but damn I loved Temple and Shorty. He was my favourite as Data in Goonies as well.
Crystal Skulls had it’s moments, not many, I loved the punch up with the big Russian……John Hurt and Ray Winstone were good additions……
But Shia Leboef is just a ghastly human being ( how did this guy become a star, it genuinely baffles me ) and so much of the rest of it was cringy.
Still, me being me and forever loyal to my favourite film franchises I’ll go and see it even though I suspect it’ll be shite. Harrison Ford is EIGHTY years old for fucks sake.
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@Kiwiwomble said in Movie review thread...:
Right, the wife wasn't working over the weekend so we hung out, watched some movies etc
already mentioned Love and Thunder
but, also re watched Serenity...shit thats a good sci fi flick with some memorable lines, also, why does the CGI look better than lots of stuff we see today? this was released in 2005! thats the better part of 20 years ago
and then went and saw Bullet Train another very enjoyable action film
Probably was using models with CGI flourishes.
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Police Academy
Some movies date really badly. Some remain awesome. Some have hugely outdated jokes which makes them even better.
PA is right smack in the middle of these. Lots of laughs still there, Guttenberg is pretty damn funny and a lot of the delivery is absolutely spot on.
Odd observation. When Hooks drives over Copeland's feet and he calls her a dumb fat racial slur ... the line with the racial slur was cut out. Why?? FFS Why??
4 Tacklebury's out of 5 Hightowers
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Explorer - Movie length doco about Sir Ranulph Fiennes
He's lived some life that fella...
3.5 I feel lazy out of 5 he's still going at 78
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@taniwharugby said in Movie review thread...:
Explorer - Movie length doco about Sir Ranulph Fiennes
He's lived some life that fella...
3.5 I feel lazy out of 5 he's still going at 78
Amazing guy, I met him in the Falklands when he was doing his series of marathons. Totally recommend his books on Scott and Shackleton
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Have you seen his wife though! I’d fuck off for 11 months of the year too if I were him.
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@MajorRage said in Movie review thread...:
Police Academy
Some movies date really badly. Some remain awesome. Some have hugely outdated jokes which makes them even better.
PA is right smack in the middle of these. Lots of laughs still there, Guttenberg is pretty damn funny and a lot of the delivery is absolutely spot on.
Odd observation. When Hooks drives over Copeland's feet and he calls her a dumb fat racial slur ... the line with the racial slur was cut out. Why?? FFS Why??
4 Tacklebury's out of 5 Hightowers
Police Academy movies are still a bit of a guilty pleasure.
Obviously the folks didn’t read the video cover when they rented it for me and Commandant Lazar was getting a BJ while giving that speech, I did wonder what was going on though.
SOOOOOOO full of 80s bad taste offensive shit…..as you say fat jokes, gay jokes, sexist jokes, racist jokes…….I’m amazed cancel culture hasn’t had a go at it.
Was Guttenburg really that funny ? I always found the supporting cast of weirdos more amusing from memory.
I always used to think Jones and Eddie Murphy were the same guy.
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@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
I always used to think Jones and Eddie Murphy were the same guy.
I assume you're fishing for a... "RACIST!"
I do have vague memories as a kid thinking the same, but.
There weren’t many black dudes in Nelson in the 80s
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@MajorRage said in Movie review thread...:
Police Academy
Some movies date really badly. Some remain awesome. Some have hugely outdated jokes which makes them even better.
PA is right smack in the middle of these. Lots of laughs still there, Guttenberg is pretty damn funny and a lot of the delivery is absolutely spot on.
Odd observation. When Hooks drives over Copeland's feet and he calls her a dumb fat racial slur ... the line with the racial slur was cut out. Why?? FFS Why??
4 Tacklebury's out of 5 Hightowers
i watched this with the kids a year or so again. i forgot about the lectern blowjob. awkward.
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The Matrix: Resurrections
So i finally got around to watch this. and, well, yeah. While watching i didn't hate it. But with the smallest bit of thought afterwards my entire question was "why?"
The first 25 minutes was confusing as all hell. The flashbacks put a smile on my face as they showed an infinitely superior movie. But i had no fucking idea what the hell was going on.
And it got worse from there.
The whole plot doesn't make any fucking sense. The bad guy's motivation is, i guess, his year end bonus? i dunno. and i don't know why the good guys did anything at all. I mean Neo yes, but why anyone helps him at all makes no sense.
Which piece of barely audible bullshit dialogue did i miss that made the humans' actions make sense?
And with a few threads left to just, wander off, did they think they could make a few more?
What a mess
2 wait, so just killing everyone is a good idea? out of 5 and how did they even get out?
seriously, stop making these.
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@mariner4life i forgot completely about it until i saw it was up on one of the streamers yesterday, then i remembered coming out thinking the original was better...including the CGI